The Devil Within
by Mnemosyne's Elegy
Summary: Yukine will do whatever it takes to stop Yato from killing his own father, but he has already fallen into his dad's clutches and even stealing him back is leaving him slowly dying. The only one who might be able to save him is his dad, and Yukine is left to decide how far he's willing to go to save his master. If he has to betray Yato to save him, is it worth it?
1. Yato is missing & uneasy alliances form

**Note: This was originally supposed to be a short multichapter, but it grew a little too much and got a bit long. So I'll be posting this one for a while. Get ready for some drama lol**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

_(In which Yato is missing, uneasy allies come to the rescue, and the god Yukine finds is not the one he remembers.)_

* * *

Yukine trudged back home, exhausted and defeated. He found Hiyori sitting with Kofuku and Daikoku around the kitchen table when he slipped inside. She looked as horrible as he felt, with dark circles smudged beneath her eyes and deep worry lines carved into her face.

"Still didn't find him?" Daikoku asked with a sigh.

Yukine scowled. "I wasn't looking. If he wants to run off and kill himself, that's his business. I was just running errands."

"Uh-huuuh," Kofuku said with a hint of mischief and a flash of a grin. "You and Hiyorin have been looking for Yato-chan nonstop since he disappeared!"

"He said he was trying to kill the sorcerer," Hiyori said in a thin voice, and Yukine was reminded of when she had called him in a panic a couple nights earlier, rambling about how Yato gave her his broken shrine and said he was going off to sever his lifeline. "Of course we're worried."

"And without me," Yukine muttered.

That was almost the worst of it, that Yato had run off without Yukine, without even saying a word to him. Yukine understood him better than he had the first time he'd disappeared, so he knew that Yato leaving him behind was not out of a lack of trust or questions about his usefulness. He was sure it was out of a misplaced desire to protect him, especially after seeing how Yato had taken hits from his father rather than letting Yukine do his job. Yato clearly didn't want his friends anywhere near his dad, so of course he was going to run off like an idiot and try doing it alone.

Yukine knew that, but he still hated it. They were a team, they were _family_, and they were supposed to stick together. It was his job to protect Yato as much as it was the other way around.

Honestly, what did Yato think he was really going to accomplish without his hafuri, besides get himself killed? Or what if he _did _somehow manage to kill his father? What would he do without his lifeline? Even if Hiyori could be his lifeline instead, the risk of simply disappearing was much too high. And if his dad decided he'd had enough of Yato misbehaving and killed him…?

Yato couldn't die. And Yukine didn't want him to reincarnate either, any more than Hiyori did. Neither option was acceptable, and Yukine didn't want Yato's lifeline severed.

No one was going to kill Yato before Yukine got his hands on the god and did it himself.

"If you're really that worried, why don't you ask Bisha?" Kofuku suggested, poking through the cabinets in search of a snack. "She's awake now."

"She's been unconscious for a long time, though," Hiyori said doubtfully. "She hasn't been awake that long. What would she know?"

"You said Yato went off to kill the sorcerer, didn't you?" Daikoku asked. "Bishamon has been hunting the sorcerer too. She's up again, and Kazuma is the best for intel. If anyone knows something, it's him. If they have news about the sorcerer, it might lead you to Yato."

Anger and betrayal wrapped around Yukine's heart like thorns. "No way. They'd kill Yato first. They aren't our allies."

Kofuku looked back with a frown. "Bisha? She's not after Yato-chan anymore."

Yukine's lips twisted bitterly as he glared at the floor. He couldn't risk trusting Kazuma even if he wanted to, not after his mentor had forced him to reveal Yato's secrets with spells. And Bishamon was determined to kill Yato's dad, which was tantamount to killing Yato. Those two knew about Yato's lifeline and were still more than willing to sever it. Yukine absolutely would not put his god's life in their hands.

"It's better than nothing," Hiyori said quietly. "We aren't having any luck on our own."

"But–"

"They don't really want him dead, Yukine. We might have different ultimate goals, but…maybe we can at least help each other until that point."

Yukine _did not like _this idea. The betrayal was still too raw, and he couldn't bring himself to trust them again. As long as they wanted to kill Yato's dad, they were the enemy.

"I don't think it's a good idea," he said.

"Yato went against the heavens to help Bishamon even though he knew what she was doing. And Kazuma helped us out a little during the fight, right? And…finding Yato is more important than holding on to grudges right now. We're running out of time."

Yukine opened his mouth to protest further, but hesitated. Hiyori looked so small and shrunken kneeling there on the floor, eyes haunted and frightened. He hated Yato a little more for making her look like that.

He didn't like this, but… She was right. Finding and stopping Yato as quickly as possible was their highest priority, and they might need some help to accomplish that. He didn't trust Bishamon and Kazuma, but he could at least swallow his pride and see if they knew anything.

"Fine," he grumbled. "But for the record, I still don't like it."

Hiyori had already spent an entire night painstakingly reassembling Yato's shrine and undoing the damage Takemikazuchi had done, so at least they had a way to Takamagahara. Yukine was almost sorry for it because he still wasn't on board with this idea, but that was a silly thought. Hiyori would go straight to Bishamon's shrine if there wasn't a better option, and it was safer if Yato's shrine was in one piece. Not that it was a guarantee he'd reincarnate if he died, but there was no harm in keeping a safety net, however threadbare.

Yukine didn't really want to think like that or acknowledge the worst possibilities, but with Yato throwing himself headfirst at death…someone had to.

He dragged his feet all the way up to Takamagahara and into Bishamon's manor, trailing after Hiyori and sulking in a clear show of displeasure. Kuraha was more than willing to lead them to Bishamon's room after alerting the goddess of her visitors, and soon they found themselves facing Bishamon wrapped head to toe in bandages and curled up in a large armchair while Kazuma stood by her side and watched the newcomers warily. Yukine glared at his feet to avoid glaring at them.

"He went after the sorcerer by himself?" Bishamon asked with a frown after Hiyori had spilled the story out in an anxious jumble of words.

"He said he was going to kill him," Hiyori said in a thin, reedy voice, wrapping her arms around herself until her fingernails dug into her sides. "He can't… If you've seen him or have any news about the sorcerer that could help us find him…"

Bishamon and Kazuma shared a look that had Yukine's own eyes narrowing.

"I'm afraid I haven't been up and about much," Bishamon said. "I haven't left Takamagahara since…"

"I saw Yato a couple days ago over on the east side of town, but I didn't stop to talk or see what he was up to," Kazuma added. "I'm keeping a lookout for the sorcerer as well, but he's been staying under the radar. I don't think we can help you."

Yukine's lip curled derisively. "Can't or won't?" he asked, acid dripping off every word. "Forget it, Hiyori. I told you they wouldn't help. They'd rather see Yato kill his dad off and get rid of the problem for them."

Bishamon winced and exchanged an uncertain look with Kazuma.

Hiyori shook her head in mute denial and her lips trembled. "But–"

"They don't care that it's going to kill him."

"He might be an annoying fool, but we don't _want _him dead," Bishamon said with a sigh.

Yukine half-turned away, ready to get the hell out of there, but took the time to direct one more glare at her. "You _already _tried to kill him. And you're going to keep trying. As far as I'm concerned, you're as much the enemy as the sorcerer."

"_Yukine!_" Hiyori hissed, her eyes widening. "We need–"

"We don't want him dead, but killing the sorcerer takes precedence," Kazuma said coolly. "The sorcerer is a grave threat to all of us, and has already nearly killed Veena. And you can say what you like, but Yato tried to kill her too."

Yukine blinked at his one-time friend for a long moment before the meaning of the last sentence finally hit him. He deflated, shoulders slumping as guilt shivered down his spine.

"That…wasn't really Yato," he mumbled. "It was me. She got too close to killing his dad and I panicked. I'm…sorry. I didn't mean… But I couldn't let him die."

He didn't want to kill anyone and he had _promised _Yato that he wouldn't let him kill anyone else, but one moment of panic had threatened to undo it all. And the scary thing was that if it came down to killing someone or watching Yato die, Yukine might very well turn into a killer. He was afraid to find out if he would. For all of Yato's obnoxiousness and faults and problems, he had somehow become the single most important thing in Yukine's life, around which everything else revolved. When it came down to it, Yato was Yukine's god and master and protector and friend and family and maybe even something like a father, even if Yukine would never admit it out loud. Yato had saved Yukine and given him a home, a place to belong, and so he was the one who had won Yukine's undying loyalty.

It was actually a little frightening to think about, and Yukine resolutely tamped it back down into some small, dark corner of his mind. He couldn't afford to get caught up in such things now, nor could he risk them affecting Yato when the god was already in danger.

"It's okay," Hiyori said quietly, brushing a hand across his arm. Her eyes softened, even though she still looked haggard and pulled taut.

Yukine loved her too, and he hoped they would never find out exactly how far he and Yato would actually be willing to go for her.

"I'm alright," Bishamon said, leaning back in her chair. "Things happen in war."

"You were protecting your master, and you prioritized his life and safety above Veena's." Kazuma's voice was calm, almost gentle, but there was an edge of steel in his eyes. "That's understandable. So you see why I might do the same?"

Yukine did understand that, even if he didn't like it. If he would make hard choices to save his god, then of course Kazuma would do the same. But…

"It's _not _the same," he spat, clenching his hands into fists. "I told him not to help you, you know. I told him to stay out of it and not go against the heavens for you. And he usually listens to me. But even though he knew what you were doing and what danger he was putting himself in, he stood up to the heavens for _you_." He scowled at Bishamon. "He told everyone about the sorcerer to save you, you know. Amaterasu called him later, and I still don't know what he told her but I'm afraid he said way too much. It's only a matter of time now. He cut off all his own escape routes for someone who might as well be trying to kill him.

"He could have done what you're doing now and waited for his dad to take you out and get rid of the problem for him, but he fought for you even though you were a threat and he had to expose his secrets to the heavens. We nearly died for you, and now he's never going to be safe again." Yukine swiped at his eyes angrily, hating how tears were gathering at the corners, and dropped his voice to almost a whisper. "He promised I'd always have a place with him. He's not allowed to run off and kill himself now."

The silence in the room festered like so many unspoken words, but then Hiyori reached out to him, her eyes glassy with tears.

"Yukine–"

He shook himself out of his daze and spun on his heel as he stalked towards the door. "Come on, Hiyori. We don't need them. I'll find him myself."

"Wait," Bishamon said. Yukine didn't stop walking. He was so _done_. "We…might be able to help."

Yukine's feet slowed to a stop of their own accord, and he hesitated in the doorway. He didn't trust her or Kazuma, but could he afford to turn his back on any source of potential help? His fierce internal debate twisted his stomach into knots for several long seconds before he finally turned back around and eyed Bishamon and Kazuma suspiciously.

Bishamon chewed on her lip for a moment and then sighed. "It's true that we don't know anything useful right now, but we can keep an eye out for him on patrols. And we'll still be gathering any information on the sorcerer that we can."

Kazuma's gaze snapped to her. "Veena, you're still injured and–"

"And what? Yato is already running off after a homicidal maniac by himself, and I'm sure he got himself roughed up pretty well too. Gods are tough."

Kazuma's lips tightened in displeasure, but he only nodded. "Of course." He shot a look at Yukine, eyes misty with something like uncertainty. "It's…not that we want to see Yato hurt. We do owe him a great deal. It's just…"

"We can help you find him," Bishamon said, "but we make no promises about what might happen to the sorcerer."

Yukine wished she'd stop looking at him like that, with eyes so soft and full of pity. But he had managed to hit a nerve and tweak at her conscience. As long as she was going to help, that was all that mattered. He wasn't naïve enough to think she and Kazuma would drop their vendetta against Yato's dad just like that, but that was something to worry about later. It seemed like Yato was the biggest threat to himself right now, anyway.

"We understand," Hiyori said. "Thank you."

Yukine nodded and grumbled something that could be mistaken for halfhearted thanks and hightailed it out of there, Hiyori following on his heels.

"It will be okay," Hiyori said. "We'll find him."

Yukine wondered why she was looking at him like he was about to fall apart when she was the one who had been freaking out for days.

"Of course," he said, like it was obvious and nothing to worry about and he wasn't quietly falling apart.

* * *

After that whole debacle, Yukine would have liked to see some encouraging results. Instead, what he got were a bunch of apologies and excuses.

"Sorry, we haven't heard anything yet."

"We went on patrol, but we didn't see him."

"We've been looking, but it's like he's disappeared."

It was so _frustrating_.

"We still haven't found any leads either," Hiyori told him gently when his frustration boiled over. "And we've been searching for longer than they have. I'm sure they're doing their best."

It made logical sense, but Yukine's heart hardened a little every time he ran into Bishamon and she gave him that apologetic look and her newest excuse. For all he knew, she wasn't looking at all or wasn't passing on any information she did find. Just because she _said _she would help didn't mean she actually would. Maybe she was just stringing him along to keep him quiet.

Hiyori said he was being paranoid, but he didn't care. It had been nearly a week and a half, and it felt like each second was chipping away at his sanity a little more. He tried not to dwell on it, but Yato honestly deserved to deal with some rough secondhand emotions for being such an idiot.

"Nothing," Bishamon said when Yukine and Hiyori ran into her roaming about the city on Kuraha's back. "We've been patrolling the city and even looking around some of the outlying areas in case he left the city proper, but we haven't found anything. I…suppose it's possible that he's hiding out somewhere and lying low for a while."

Yukine was not impressed by this latest lame theory and shot her a look that said so. "Why would he be doing that?"

She shrugged. "You would have a better idea than me."

"That's stu–"

Hiyori nudged his foot with the toe of her shoe to quiet him and smiled at Bishamon wanly. "That doesn't really sound like Yato," she said in a more conciliatory tone.

"No, but I would have thought we'd have at least caught wind of him by now," the goddess said, her lips pinching into a frown as her gaze drifted off along the skyline. "I suppose it could just be that he's seen us around and is being careful because he doesn't want to be found. Or he might suspect you're looking for him, in which case he'll be covering his tracks."

"That sounds more like him," Yukine conceded in a grumble. "Idiot."

"We'll keep looking, but right now we need to go take care of that storm before it gets any worse."

Yukine twisted around to follow Bishamon's gaze and spotted the smoky haze of a storm curling above the buildings several streets away. "You're just going to give up and play around with _that_?" he demanded, turning on her with blazing eyes. "You–"

"It's my job." Her eyes held a hint of sympathy, but her voice was firm and edged with steel. "I'll keep looking after, but this needs to be taken care of before it festers and becomes a bigger problem. I can't leave the humans to languish in it."

Yukine deflated. "Sorry," he muttered. "I know it's important."

"It's alright. Kazuma starts losing his focus when he's worried about me too." Bishamon tilted her head and her gaze slid to the side as if she could see the earring settled in her earlobe. "You absolutely do. Anyway, good luck. I'll poke around some more once we have the vent under control."

Yukine watched her disappear as Kuraha bounded off down the street and tried very hard not to resent her for taking the time to clean up the storm. He knew it was important and people could get hurt if it wasn't taken care of, but it was a distraction from finding Yato that they couldn't afford and he resented it something terrible.

Because the other option he could come up with for why they had found no sign at all of his master was that Yato had already died or disappeared, and that possibility terrified him. He wondered if he would know. If Yato died or vanished from existence, would he feel it and know? The bond between a shinki and a god was strong and gods obviously felt a great deal when their shinki died, so shouldn't Yukine know? Except he knew that the bond only ran one way when it came to feelings. But surely…

He was too afraid to ask Bishamon in case he got an answer he didn't want to hear. Until he heard otherwise, he would believe that his bond with Yato was strong enough that he'd feel something that momentous. So surely Yato must still be alive out there somewhere.

"Maybe we should take a break too," Hiyori suggested hesitantly, no doubt wary that he might turn his temper on her too. "We've been at it for days, and we only have a couple more hours of daylight."

"But–"

"We're running ourselves ragged, and it won't do much good while he doesn't want to be found. I think we could both use a break."

Yukine translated this as _'you're really high-strung right now and snapping at everyone and you need to take a night off before you totally melt down'_. Normally he might resent that, but this was Hiyori and he knew she was just looking out for him. He still trusted her.

"Fine," he muttered, even though he was sure he would be bouncing off the walls and desperate to go back to searching the streets within the hour.

He dragged his feet as he followed Hiyori slowly back down the street. They had only made it two streets over when Nora stepped out from between two buildings in front of them. They started in surprise as she materialized. She hadn't shown her face since the showdown with the heavens, and her reappearance could only be a bad omen.

"Are you looking for Yato?" she asked in a voice completely devoid of tone or emotion.

They nearly tripped over their feet in their haste to stop, and Yukine clenched his hands into fists as he glared at the newcomer. "What do you want, Nora?"

"He's with us," she said as if he hadn't spoken.

"Why would he be with _you_?" Hiyori asked.

"It doesn't concern _you_." Nora spared her a flat look before turning her dead, expressionless eyes on Yukine. "They're ready for you, little boy. I'll take you to him now. But _only _you. The ayakashi girl can go."

"I'm not an ayakashi!" Hiyori protested, even though she had dropped her body a long time ago and her cord was waving indignantly in the air behind her like a purple tail. "And you really think I'd let you take Yukine off on his own? No way! If you want him, I'm coming too."

"Father only wants to see Yukine."

"Absolutely not." She stepped closer to Yukine and glared at Nora. "No way is he meeting _that _monster by himself."

"Yato will be there too," Nora said offhandedly. "So it depends on how badly you want to find him."

Yukine certainly didn't want to face Yato's dad by himself, but if it was the only way to get to Yato… A sudden thought hit him like lightning, and he hurried to cut Hiyori off as she made to protest further.

"I'll come. Why don't you go home, Hiyori? I'll be back later."

"But–"

Yukine cut his gaze to the storm still visible a few streets behind them. Hiyori glanced back without thinking, making him wince, and then looked back with understanding in her eyes.

Yukine shot a surreptitious look at Nora to see if she had picked up on the unspoken communication after Hiyori's decidedly unsubtle approach, but she only continued watching them with unreadable eyes and gave no sign of understanding.

"If you're sure…" Hiyori said with a show of reluctance.

"We have to find him," Yukine said. "I'll be okay on my own."

Hiyori hesitating, biting her lip, and then scowled at Nora. "If anything happens to him, I will hunt you down."

"I'm terrified," Nora said tonelessly.

Hiyori's scowl deepened before she turned worried eyes on Yukine. "Be careful," she said quietly.

"I will."

She left with one last look thrown back over her shoulder, and disappeared into a cluster of passing pedestrians and down a side street. Yukine hoped she hurried. Thankfully Bishamon was still nearby to be their backup, and Hiyori could move much faster without her body pinning her down. He was sure Hiyori could find him again as long as she was quick.

…Unless they were going to whatever mysterious hideout they hadn't been able to find this whole time.

"Where are we going?" he demanded.

Nora brushed past him and started down the street without another look. "This way."

"Are we going to whatever secret hideout thing you guys have?"

"…You are a strange child. No. Father wants to meet in a neutral place. It's best you not know our safe houses for security reasons. Not until you're working for us."

He snorted loudly and followed her at a slow pace, hoping to buy some time. "Like I'd ever work for you. Where is Yato?"

"With us."

"Why?"

Nora's lips tightened ever so slightly as she turned the corner. "He's working with us again."

"I don't believe you. He'd never go back to you."

She only shrugged. "He's working with us."

Yukine's eyes narrowed and he stopped right in the middle of the sidewalk, heedless of the oblivious humans drifting along around him. "Is this just a trap? If you think you can use me as bait to get him–"

"He's working with us," Nora repeated. She kept walking.

After a moment, Yukine began following her again. "Why don't you seem happy, then? You really wanted him to go back, so why aren't you happy if he finally did?"

Nora's moods could be strange and often rather watered down, but it wasn't like she didn't have emotions. She had been trying to get Yato back for ages, and Yukine would expect a lot of gloating from her if she'd finally done it. She would definitely take the opportunity to rub it in his face if she won a victory in their rather contentious fight over the god.

And she was not gloating. She did not seem particularly happy. If anything, she seemed even more _flat _than usual, face carefully blank and eyes dull.

She stared at the ground and picked up the pace. "He should have known better than to keep rebelling," she said quietly, almost to herself. "But Father went too far this time."

Yukine's footsteps faltered and his stomach turned over. If _Nora _thought something had gone too far, then how bad was it?

"What did you do to him?" he demanded. When she didn't answer, he grabbed her arm and said more forcefully, "_Nora_, what did you guys do to Yato?"

She shook him off effortlessly and kept walking. "You'll see."

And Yukine knew better than to trust Nora and let her get in his head, but she was so deathly solemn and had a look in her eyes that made him just _know _that something was wrong. But no matter how he raged or pleaded, she refused to say anything more.

He was all twisted up in knots by the time she led him out to a construction site on the far end of town. The scaffolds of new buildings in progress rose into the air like metal skeletons, and piles of material and empty construction vehicles littered the lot.

Yato's dad was leaning against one of the beams fitted into the scaffolding, but he looked over with a smile the second Yukine and Nora appeared.

"Oh good, you found him. Good girl, Mizuchi." He flashed Yukine a grin that felt like it was trying to scour the skin off his bones. "I'm glad you could make it."

"What did you do to Yato?" Yukine demanded without preamble, stopping well short of the psycho. He honestly knew very little about the guy, but he knew enough to be wary.

"Do? All I did was bring him home again. He's family, you know. Family sticks together and all that." The sorcerer's eyes shone with delight as he twisted around. "Look, Yaboku! You have a visitor! Isn't that exciting?"

Yukine started in surprise and stepped to the side to get a better look. Yato was standing on his father's left, a step behind him so that he was in the shadow of the scaffolding arching over his head. The god said nothing, his lifeless gaze flicking between his father and Yukine.

A chill ran down Yukine's spine, just a faint sense of _wrongness_. He couldn't put his finger on what exactly had his hair standing on end. Maybe it was the way Yato's eyes were dull and dead instead of electric and shining with life. Or the way he looked at Yukine without any sign of recognition or emotion. Or even just the way he held himself stiffly and said nothing at all.

None of that was like Yato, but Yukine started towards him anyway, his relief at finally finding his god eclipsing the danger of the situation.

"Yato!" He stumbled to a stop as Nora's hand shot out like lighting to grab the back of his jacket. He turned back with a scowl. "Let me go!"

She stared back, eyes flat but holding a hint of warning, and shook her head ever so slightly even though she released his jacket and let her arm fall back to her side.

"Oh, let him come say hi to Yaboku if he wants," Yato's dad said with a laugh.

"Of course, Father," Nora said in a monotone. She stepped past Yukine without another look and walked across the intervening space to stand on the sorcerer's other side.

But that was enough to break the spell, even if Yukine didn't know why she had done it. He clenched his fists at his sides and narrowed his eyes at the three lurking in front of the skeletal structure.

"What's going on, Yato?"

Yato had fixed his gaze straight ahead again, eyes filmy and distant, and didn't acknowledge the question.

"His name is Yaboku," the sorcerer said, an amused smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"He likes to be called Yato."

"Not anymore. Isn't that right, Yaboku?"

Yato's gaze slid sideways to rest on his dad, and he watched silently for a few moments as if expecting something before returning to looking straight ahead.

Yukine shivered. There was something so _wrong _about that, and he suddenly felt exposed and alone standing in an open lot with stacked bags of concrete hemming him in under the shadow of skeletal high-rises and the watchful eyes of Nora and Yato's dad. And having Yato there in the corner, seemingly dead to the world and mostly unresponsive, was not helping. He hoped Hiyori hurried up.

"Come on, Yato," he said, hating how small and uncertain his voice suddenly sounded. "Let's go."

Yato didn't even look at him. How could his eyes possibly be that empty and dark when they were always so vibrant and shining?

"I told you, he only answers to Yaboku," Yato's dad said. "Yaboku, why don't you call your hafuri?"

Yato glanced over and then looked at Yukine again. He lifted his hands and opened his mouth, but then hesitated.

"Go on," his father coaxed. "Sekki, remember?"

The thought that Yato could have somehow _forgotten _something that fundamental was more profoundly disturbing than any of the rest of it. Why would he need a reminder?

Yato stared at Yukine for a few more seconds before his mouth snapped shut with an audible click and he dropped his arms back to his sides.

The sorcerer sighed and puffed out his cheeks. "Bother. We'll have to work on that."

"What did you do to him?" Yukine asked, horrified. The whole display was starting to frighten him.

"I had to do some reprogramming," the psycho said with another sigh, even more dramatic this time. "Looks like I'll still have to override some things."

"He's not a machine!"

Yato's dad laughed, his eyes sparkling as a sly grin tugged up one corner of his mouth. "No, I suppose not."

Yukine darted a pleading look at Nora, but she was nearly as quiet and disengaged as Yato and he had already tried prying answers from her without success.

"Let him go," he snapped.

"After going through all this effort? I think not. But you're welcome to come along with us. You'll be useful once I fix my kid."

Yukine stepped back, his heart hammering in his chest. He didn't want to be caught up in any of this…but how else could he get Yato back? Not that Yato seemed to be of much use at all right now, which was going to make things even more difficult.

Luckily, he was saved from making the decision when heavy footfalls landed behind him.

"What in the world is going on here?"

Yukine nearly choked on his relief as he turned to see Bishamon behind him, perched on Kuraha with Hiyori at her side.

"Yato?" Hiyori stepped forward, and Yukine grabbed her arm.

"Something's wrong with him," he said.

Hiyori hesitated, searching Yato's face. Neither Yato nor Nora seemed particularly surprised by the intrusion. The sorcerer looked surprised for about half a second before huffing out another breath.

"I was rather hoping not to see you until I'd ironed out all the kinks," he said. "But how nice to see you up and about again."

Bishamon shook her head, eyes narrowed to slits. "What is the meaning of this?"

"Didn't you hear?" he asked, his grin sliding back into place as he draped an arm over Yato's shoulders. Yato didn't so much as twitch. "My kid finally came back home to help me out again!"

"He would never do that by choice!" Hiyori said. She was practically vibrating with worry and fear and impotent rage at Yukine's side. "What did you do to him?"

"Darling Hiyori, you don't know him very well at all," Yato's father said with a chuckle.

She shot a glare at him before attempting to coax Yato back out of his shell. "Yato, what's wrong? Come here."

There was no response, and the sorcerer only smiled. "He only answers to Yaboku."

"But…" Hiyori bit her lip and looked between him and Yato. "Yaboku?" she asked hesitantly.

Yato's gaze snapped to her face, and a sick feeling wriggled in Yukine's stomach. That was the most response they had gotten out of him so far, and it was to the name he didn't want. Something wasn't right there.

"See?" asked Yato's dad. "But he'll only take orders from me, of course."

Hiyori opened her mouth, closed it again.

"Well, it's about time we found you." Bishamon slid off Kuraha's back and dropped her hand to the pistols holstered at her hip. "You won't get away this time."

Yukine's panic flooded back just like that, and Hiyori stiffened beside him. He opened his mouth to protest that they couldn't sever Yato's lifeline, but the sorcerer beat him to it.

"Yes," he said, "I suppose it's about time I finally took care of this. You've become a nuisance, and I was planning to take you out soon anyway. Unfortunately there are still a few glitches in the system, but it should be fun to see how it goes and my kid is pretty fearsome even without his hafuri."

Bishamon frowned. "…What?"

He only smiled and stepped away from Yato. "Yaboku, kill Bishamon for me."

For a moment, Yukine held on to his hope because he _knew _Yato wouldn't attack Bishamon like that after everything he'd done to save her. Yato wouldn't just help his father for no good reason, and especially wouldn't kill for him when he was trying to become a god of fortune.

But only for a moment, because that was how long it took for Yato to lunge at Bishamon without any hesitation at all.

* * *

**Note: Oops? If you don't see where I'm going with this, you'll know next chapter. It's an expansion of an idea from a different fic I wrote a while back, if that helps lol**


	2. Yato fights for his father

**.**

**Chapter 2**

_(In which Yato fights for his father and Yukine is frankly horrified by the reason.)_

* * *

Yato threw himself at Bishamon without a second thought, and Yukine stood rooted to the spot in cold panic. Surely Yato wouldn't…? And what did he think he could do to arguably the most powerful of the war gods without even a single weapon? Was he _trying _to get himself killed?

"Yato, stop!" Bishamon cried. "Stay back."

Yato moved in a blur of motion, almost too fast for the eye to track. Bishamon fired a warning shot that came nowhere close to hitting him and Kuraha lunged forward to intercept him, but he never slowed. The bullet was ignored entirely, and he vaulted over the lion without missing a beat, flipping through the air with mechanical grace and slashing his hand across Bishamon's arm and chest as his boots slammed back into the gravel.

Bishamon cried out in shock and stumbled back a step, her eyes widening as she looked down at the purple streak left across the pale skin of her arm. "You _blighted _me? How…?"

"Is he hurt?" Hiyori asked, her voice rising in pitch.

Yato could only blight Bishamon if he was blighted, but he didn't move like he was injured. Then again, he was tough and didn't often let injuries slow him down. Yukine craned his neck to try catching a glimpse of his god's hands, but Yato never stopped moving and it was impossible to tell how blighted they were.

Yato took a few more swipes at Bishamon like an animal clawing at an attacker, too fast for Yukine to see clearly what was happening, and she went crashing to the ground.

"Yato!" Yukine started forward, but Hiyori grabbed his arm and held him back.

Her face was white and her eyes round as she called, "Yaboku, stop!"

The frenzy of motion abated for a brief moment as Yato glanced over and cocked his head, face blank and eyes devoid of life. But only for a moment. He turned back on Bishamon.

"I told you, he only follows my orders," his father said.

He sounded delighted at the havoc he was wreaking, but Yukine couldn't tear his eyes away from the train wreck. Yato's momentary distraction had given Bishamon an opening to whip out Kinuha and send the rampaging god flying back. She scrambled to her feet while Kuraha batted Yato hard with his paw to keep him away from her.

"I don't know what's going on with you, but you'd better snap out of it." The whip cracked through the air, and Bishamon set her face in grim lines as the cord wrapped around Yato's arm in a death grip. "I'd rather not fight you right now, but I will if I have to."

Yato twisted his entire body and slammed his boot into Kuraha's side with enough force to send the lion flying through the air to crash to the ground a good distance away. Without missing a beat, he yanked his arm upwards with impossible strength, tension snapping the whip taut, and sank his teeth into the cord above where it was wrapped about his wrist. Everything held still for a moment, and then Bishamon yanked Kinuha away and snapped her back.

"You blighted her too?" she demanded in disbelief. "How…?"

Yukine gaped slack-jawed at the feral display. Since when did Yato _bite _things like an animal? And how could he possibly blight someone like that?

An uncomfortable feeling pooled in Yukine's stomach at the uncanny resemblance to Hiyori biting Yato at the hospital as she tipped over the line. He didn't know what to make of that, and he didn't have time to think it through when Yato was already lunging forward again.

It all happened so fast that he couldn't see who did what, but the two gods clashed in a flurry of motion that resulted in Yato flying back with a hiss as he clutched at the gash torn across his chest and Bishamon stumbling and almost falling with blight and raw scratches eating up her skin.

"They're going to kill each other," Hiyori whispered from beside Yukine.

Yukine's stomach lurched as he realized she was right. Bishamon had been holding back before, but Yato wasn't backing down and now she was aiming to incapacitate. And Yato… Yato showed no outward expression, but he had been aiming to kill from the beginning.

Bishamon was taking the worst of it because she didn't really want to fight and was already seriously injured from her clash with the heavens, but Yato didn't have his hafuri. It was a toss-up. Yato was making surprisingly short work of his opponent considering he should be essentially defenseless, but Bishamon was dangerous even while injured and she could do serious damage.

Yukine ripped his arm out of Hiyori's white-knuckled grip and lunged at the warring gods, stumbling to a stop between them. Bishamon choked out a curse and pulled back her attack before bringing it down on the shinki's head, but Yato didn't even slow.

Yukine opened his mouth to tell Yato to cut it out and stop _right now_, but the god slammed him hard in the ribs without even looking at him. Sharp nails stinging like blight bit into his cheeks. Hiyori screamed as Yukine crashed to the ground in a dazed heap. He blinked once, twice, to make the spots clear from his vision, and looked up to see that Yato and Bishamon were already scuffling again.

Yato went flying back with another bloody gash torn into his chest, his left arm hanging at an odd angle, and air hissed between his teeth like a feral animal's snarl of pain. Bishamon struggled back to her feet, her skin littered with scratches and blight, and her eyes were bright with pain and finality as she summoned Saiki and swept the massive blade out in preparation.

And Hiyori was running at Yukine, but Yato was charging Bishamon again like he wasn't about to get sliced in half and Yukine _couldn't take it_. He scrambled back to his feet and threw himself between the gods again, throwing his arms out wide like he could somehow stop them with the force of his will.

"Yato, _stop_!"

"Yukine!" Hiyori and Bishamon cried in unison.

Yato's eyes were so dead that he didn't seem to recognize his hafuri at all, and Yukine flinched back and squeezed his eyes shut to ward off the coming blow because the god still wasn't stopping. Had he been stupid to think that he was somehow special, the only one who could stop the god in his tracks just because Yato had always listened to him before? His heart thundered in his chest, flipping and churning until he felt like he might be sick.

One heartbeat, two.

He cracked one eye open.

Yato's hand, fingers curled under like claws, was hovering just in front of his face, and the other was frozen further back in the air. The god's entire body was tensed and trembling with strain.

"Stu…pid…kid," Yato rasped, every word pried from behind gritted teeth. They were the first words he'd spoken, and that dull look in his eyes was flickering with something bright and familiar. "Bor…der…line."

"What?" Yukine shook his head helplessly. "I can't draw a borderline against you! You're–you're my god! Snap out of it!"

He drew borderlines against enemies, not friends. Not _family_. Kazuma doing it to Bishamon to protect Yukine from her had been shocking enough. Yukine had stung Yato drawing a borderline against Hiyori at the hospital when she'd started crossing the line and attacked him, and he could only imagine how bad it would be if he drew one against _Yato_. Shinki didn't draw borderlines between themselves and their masters, and…children didn't draw them between themselves and their parents.

Yato's fingers twitched and his entire body spasmed, and his face contorted in a pained grimace. "Then not…against…_me_."

Yukine had no idea what to make of that. What else could he draw it against? Against whatever was possessing Yato to be so unlike himself? Something niggled at the back of his mind like a half-formed suspicion struggling towards the light.

A curtain seemed to fall over Yato's eyes, leaving them dark and blank and lifeless once more, and he lashed out at Yukine again. Yukine didn't have time to think things through or come up with a proper solution—he slashed his hand through the air and drew a borderline dripping with desperation. And he stumbled back even though it wouldn't do any good, because he knew that borderline wouldn't hold Yato when he couldn't make himself view the god as an enemy.

Hiyori wailed in an earsplitting keen, and Yukine could feel the movement whistling through the air as she and Bishamon lunged for him. Yato's hand plunged through the borderline up to the wrist and then abruptly stopped its forward momentum. Yukine stared, wide-eyed, as his other hand scrabbled uselessly at the borderline as if he could claw it down.

He stumbled as Bishamon yanked him backwards and Hiyori raced over to latch on to his arm. They went still and gaped at the sight.

"What the hell…?" Bishamon breathed.

Yato ground out a strange hissing sound of frustration and slammed his hand into the borderline again. The barrier of light seemed to tremble, and hairline cracks appeared.

"He's going to break through it!" Hiyori said in alarm. "But how…?"

Yukine shook her and Bishamon off and grabbed the hand poking through the borderline before his mind had time to wail warnings about how stupid this might be. He didn't know what was going on or what he could do about it, but he knew that the borderline wouldn't keep Yato out so that thing on the other side was…was… What?

Yato's hand was clammy instead of warm, but his fingers curled around Yukine's wrist with an iron grip as the shinki tugged at him. The air hissed between Yato's teeth as he lurched forward and slammed into the barrier face-first, but Yukine met resistance after pulling his arm only a couple inches. He had to grab on with his other hand too and throw his entire body back, straining against what felt like an immovable force.

"Help me!" he demanded through gritted teeth as he dug his heels into the ground and pulled with all his might.

"But what will happen if…?" Hiyori didn't finish her thought. She grabbed Yato's forearm and pulled.

After a moment of hesitation, Bishamon lowered her weapons and joined in. They hung on with grim determination and slowly, ever so slowly, pulled Yato further through the borderline while he clawed at the barrier from the outside in a fit of split personalities. His shoulder breached the barrier and then stuck, and Yukine and the others leaned back and pulled with all their strength.

Nothing happened. And then Yato screamed, a pain-filled wail like his heart was being ripped savagely from his chest. Yukine was so startled that he nearly let go, but that was the moment Yato stumbled through the borderline. The sudden release of tension sent them all falling back, and Yukine slammed into the ground flat on his back with Yato collapsed in a heap sprawled half across his legs and chest.

"Y-Yato?" he squeaked. He struggled to sit up, and had to push himself up with one arm and clutch at Yato with the other as the god began sliding down. "What–?"

He broke off as his eye caught on something above Yato's head. There was an ayakashi battering at the other side of the borderline where Yato had been, greenish-blue with glowing eyes and a vaguely draconic form with an arching neck and serpentine body.

"Where did that come from?" Bishamon demanded.

Yato's breath shivered against Yukine's skin in little gasps. The god slumped over bonelessly, but he was trembling all over and Yukine looked down to see that his eyes were wide and glassy.

"Well, that was interesting," Yato's dad remarked as he strolled over to pat the phantom like a pet dog. He tilted his head, smile widening as he watched Yato through the shimmering barrier. "Not exactly how I expected that to go. Looks like I have some more bugs to fix before you're ready. But you did a surprisingly good job against Bishamon for not having your hafuri."

Yato shuddered and his limbs contracted slightly as if he was trying to curl into himself. Yukine slid his arm behind the god's back and held him tight.

"What is the meaning of this?" Bishamon asked angrily, her face chalk-white as she pulled herself to her feet.

The sorcerer didn't even glance at her, still too busy watching Yato. "We'll have to fix that too. It can't do things reserved for gods like summoning shinki, but it should be able to control your actions to make you do it yourself. So either something went wrong or…you were fighting me and refused to call him." His smile widened as Yato shrank back and curled against Yukine's chest, still shivering head to toe. "Oh, you've still got a little fight left in you, huh? You refused my order to call your hafuri and even broke through for a few seconds… Hm. I have to hand it to you, that's pretty impressive. I'll have to do a little tweaking to make sure you can't do it again, of course."

A brush had appeared from his pocket like magic, and he twirled it between his fingers absently as he talked. Yukine's eyes widened as the sight tugged at his memory.

"You put that inside him?" Hiyori asked, horrified, from where she knelt beside Yukine and Yato.

Yukine stared up at the towering ayakashi in horrified disbelief and scooted back a few centimeters to adjust his balance. He wrapped both arms around Yato and pulled him closer, as if it could keep him away from the phantom. Yato stayed as limp as a ragdoll, but he was watching his father with large, terrified eyes as his body shook itself to pieces and he sucked air in with ragged gasps.

Bishamon actually took a step back before catching herself, disbelief and dismay written across her face. "Impossible."

Yato's father pouted. "I don't see what you're so upset about. It's just the same as always, isn't it?" He arched an eyebrow and an amused smirk tugged at one corner of his mouth. "You let me use you however I want and rebel a little and then coming crawling back so I can use you again. It's really not all that different. It's not like I don't own you either way."

"How dare you?" Yukine asked in outrage.

All he could think about were the people at the hospital who had been turned into puppets with ayakashi. That this jerk had found a way to do it to _Yato_… Had he not already hurt Yato enough? Yukine wouldn't presume to understand the scope of what had passed between the two over hundreds of years, but he knew enough to know that Yato's dad was bad news and already tortured Yato enough without this latest cruelty.

"You are a heartless _bastard_," Hiyori seethed, and Yukine blinked at her in surprise. She glared at the sorcerer, hands clenched into fists against the ground. "Just leave him alone already!"

Yato's dad just laughed. "You're cute when you get worked up. Just like my Yaboku. Speaking of which. You know it'll be easier if you just cooperate with me, kid. Bring your hafuri and let's go."

Yato shook his head. In a small, wavering voice, he said, "No."

His father eyed him for a moment and then shrugged. "Have it your way. I suppose it doesn't hurt anything if you take a few days off while I do a little more experimenting. Consider it a vacation. I'll call you when I'm ready for you."

"He's not going back to you," Yukine snarled. Yato felt so small in his arms, in a way he had never felt when he usually seemed a little larger than life. "And we won't let you take him."

The sorcerer chuckled, mirth sparkling in his eyes. "You'll be begging me to take him back when the time comes. You might even hand him over yourself."

Yukine's lip curled in derision. "No way."

There was no way he'd ever hand Yato over to _that _creep. The very idea was unfathomable. The sorcerer was delusional if he thought that might ever happen.

"We'll see." Yato's dad smiled to himself and waved at Yato. "See you soon, kid. Come, Yaboku."

He turned and sauntered off, and the ayakashi followed at his heels like a good dog. Yukine caught a glimpse of Nora still standing in the shadow of the scaffolding, watching the developments with expressionless eyes. She caught his gaze for the briefest of moments and looked away, moving to join her master. Within seconds, they had disappeared from view. Only then did Yukine let his borderline fade.

"Yato? Yato, are you okay?"

Yato twitched and tipped his face up, eyes darting between Yukine and Bishamon. "S-sorry," he whispered through chattering teeth. "I'm s-sorry."

The sting of blight intensified as Yukine realized what Yato was looking at, and he had to resist the urge to touch his cheek. "It's not your fault," he said. "It's okay."

"How is this even possible?" Bishamon asked, pacing back and forth with a pronounced limp as she frowned down at Yato. Kuraha hobbled over and flopped onto the ground beside her. "I know he can control humans with ayakashi using that brush of his, but a _god_? That shouldn't be possible."

Yukine was as desperate to understand as she was, but one look at Yato assured him that the god was in no state to answer their questions. He made no move to stand, only lay draped over Yukine's lap in a shivering heap. The glassy, haunted sheen to his eyes made it look like he was still trapped somewhere inside his mind with an ayakashi slavering in the periphery. It reminded Yukine of the box, of how he had still been shaken and trapped when he was first rescued. Yato had held him then until he could refocus on the present, Hiyori hovering protectively overhead, and now Yukine felt the urge to do the same.

Yato was always the one who stood strong and picked Yukine up when he fell, and it was alarming to see him so broken. Maybe it was Yukine's turn to be strong for the both of them.

"Are you alright?" Hiyori asked, leaning over to peer down at Yato in worry. "I mean, obviously not, but… How are you feeling?"

"Not…not great," Yato admitted in a weak rasp. His eyes slid shut and he dropped his head against Yukine's chest, but he was still trembling.

"What's wrong?" Yukine demanded.

"Don't…don't know. Feels k-kinda like blight."

"You're blighted? Where?" Yukine craned his neck and searched every inch of visible skin with his eyes, but he didn't see any telltale purple splotches.

"Everywhere," Yato mumbled.

"It could just be a sort of aftershock or lingering aftereffect," Bishamon said, finally drawing to a halt to frown down at them all. "Ayakashi and gods don't mix. Hopefully it will fade now that the phantom isn't…" She trailed off and shook her head as she circled back to the very problem that had her pacing in the first place. "But he shouldn't have been able to do that. It should be impossible."

"We should get you home," Hiyori said, brushing Yato's hair out of his face tenderly and letting her fingers linger there. "I'm sure you'll feel better after getting some rest, and then we can figure this out."

"No," Bishamon said sharply. "It's not safe anymore. The sorcerer said he'd be coming back for him—and Yukine."

"Where else would we go?" Yukine asked impatiently.

She hesitated and pressed her lips together before saying, "You'd be safer in Takamagahara."

"But–"

"You can stay with me until we figure this out."

"With _you_? No way!" Yukine glared at her and tightened his grip on Yato. "You're still going after his dad, and you just tried to kill him."

She huffed out an exasperated breath. "We have bigger problems right now, and it's in my best interest that he not get possessed again too. In case you hadn't noticed, he was trying to kill _me_."

"You–"

"She's right," Yato whispered. "We c-can't go to Kofuku's now. And if–if someone attacks you…you fight back. You draw a b-borderline."

Yukine made a guttural sound of frustration in the back of his throat. "I can't just draw a borderline against you."

"O-oh yes, because I would feel _s-so _much better watching myself kill you," Yato rasped. "When…someone attacks you, you fight back…even if it's me. Especially if it's me."

As much as Yukine would like to protest, he had the feeling that this wasn't a good time to pick a fight. "Well, it won't happen again. We won't let your dad get you again."

Yato's shaking intensified, and Yukine didn't realize he was laughing until the hysterical sound burbled into the air.

"He was r-right, you know," the god wheezed past his hysterical giggles. "It's really n-not that different. He's n-never going to let me go."

The unnatural sound tied Yukine's insides into knots. There was something not quite right about it, and it made him want to slam his hands over his ears or cover Yato's mouth or _something _to make it stop.

"Yato?" Hiyori asked in alarm.

"I'm so st-stupid." Yato snickered, but choked on his laughter like a sob. "Every t-time I think he can't _possibly_ do anything else to me…of _c-course _he finds something worse."

He dissolved back into a fit of laughter that sounded like crying, while Yukine and Hiyori desperately tried to snap him out of it.

"Yato?" Yukine said. "Yato, calm down. It's okay, it's–"

Bishamon swooped in like an eagle for the kill and slammed her fist into the other god's solar plexus. Yato's horrible laughter cut off abruptly and his trembling eased as he somehow went limper than he had already been.

"What the hell?" Yukine cried, glaring at Bishamon and tugging at his unconscious god as if he could possibly get Yato away from her in such a state.

She looked pale and shaken, but her mouth was set in a tight line. "You wanted it to stop too. Anyway, he was totally wired. He'll feel better when he wakes up. Let's hurry up and get back to Takamagahara before the sorcerer changes his mind. We need to cleanse the blight and wrap up all the injuries."

Yukine eyed her mistrustfully, but Hiyori put a hand on his arm.

"You'll be safer there," she said quietly. "And Yato too. If we don't want his father to get him again…"

Yukine swallowed down his paranoia with some difficulty. Yato and Bishamon were both bleeding out from deep gashes and could use some medical attention. And…

Well, Yukine was still all too aware that Bishamon and Kazuma were only halfway allies and fair-weather friends with different end goals in mind, but if this was what it took to keep Yato safe from his father, it was a risk that needed to be taken.

* * *

"Oh, is Hiyori still here?" Bishamon asked, striding into the room with Kazuma lagging a step behind her. "It's late—you should head home. And we're eating dinner now if you'd like something to eat, Yukine."

Yukine was perched on a chair by the side of the massive bed, watching Yato's chest rise and fall. Yato didn't look peaceful even in his slumber, brows pinched together and lips twisted into a grimace as he twitched.

Hiyori stirred in the chair she'd dragged over beside Yukine's. "I know. I really should, just…"

She bit her lip and cast another look at Yato. Yukine understood.

"He'll be alright," Bishamon said with some mockery of confidence. "We'll keep an eye on him. Let him rest. Come on, you two."

"No thanks," Yukine muttered.

Bishamon sighed, the heaviness of the sound quite clearly displaying her exhaustion and frustration with Yukine's behavior, and opened her mouth, but it wasn't her voice that split the air.

"You should eat something," Yato said in a weak rasp.

Yukine jumped, the chair rocking slightly beneath him. He had been sitting here for over an hour after cleansing the blight and getting Yato bandaged up and sorting out the logistics of staying in Bishamon's home, and somehow he had still missed when the god woke up anyway.

A pair of bleary blue eyes blinked back at him, still a little too dull but at least recognizable this time. Yato flipped slowly onto his side and pulled his knees up towards his chest, but made no move to sit up.

"You're awake!" Yukine said stupidly. "How are you feeling?"

"…Not any better, honestly."

Yato looked exhausted and grim and haunted, and Yukine wasn't sure what he was supposed to say to someone who had been quite literally possessed by an ayakashi for goodness knew how long to do goodness knew what.

"I'm sorry," Hiyori said quietly. "We'll definitely find a way to stop him."

A wan smile pulled at one corner of Yato's mouth, a pale facsimile of his normal good cheer. "Mhm. You should go home, Hiyori. I'm sure it's late. Your parents will worry, and you shouldn't stay out of your body for too long."

Hiyori hesitated, looking like she desperately wanted to say something else, but nodded.

"Now that you're up, we can bring you dinner too," Bishamon said briskly.

Yato's lips flattened back into a grimace. "No thanks. I'm not hungry. I'd rather just sleep."

She clicked her tongue in annoyance. "Whatever you want. We already informed Kofuku and Daikoku that you're staying here. They'll be coming over tomorrow. Get some rest, because we'll be having a meeting to discuss this whole issue and what to do about it."

"Yeah…" If possible, Yato looked even more exhausted and grim at that pronouncement. "Thanks."

She waved him off and averted her gaze. "You did ally with me against the heavens, so it's the least I can do. Just don't go running off in the middle of the night. I'm not going to go hunting you down again."

Which was more than enough to dig up a veritable maelstrom of emotion that Yukine had been trying to suppress since Yato's disappearance. His hands clenched into white-knuckled fists in his lap.

"Don't even think about it," he said sharply. "It's bad enough that you ran off without us last time."

Yato closed his eyes and his sigh whispered through the air. "Can we…not do this right now? I'm not going anywhere."

As much as Yukine didn't want to back down, Yato didn't look like he was in any state to take the lecture he had coming. And Yukine was still too shaken from the day's events to truly want to deliver it. Later.

"Fine," he muttered.

"Go eat something," Yato said. "And… Hey, Bishamon? Do you think you could send a shinki home with Hiyori? She…might be a target for my father."

Yukine swallowed hard and exchanged a wide-eyed look with Hiyori. She couldn't just stay in Takamagahara until things blew over like Yato and Yukine could. She still had to go home to her family and friends, and she would be vulnerable to Yato's dad. And if the sorcerer wanted to force Yato out of hiding, targeting Hiyori would be a good way to do it.

Bishamon shot a look at Kazuma, who frowned and pushed his glasses further up his nose. "It might be a good idea. I think Aiha would be willing to stay with Hiyori for a few days."

Bishamon nodded. "That would be acceptable."

"Thanks," Yato sighed.

"Mhm. Now, Hiyori needs to get home, Yukine needs to eat, and Yato needs to sleep. Come along, you two. We'll talk everything out in the morning after we've rested."

Yukine was reluctant to leave, but Yato shooed him out and Bishamon herded him and Hiyori out of the room after saying their goodbyes. With Hiyori gone and Yato sequestered, Yukine was on his own to face the lions' den. He did his best to keep his head down, which was easier said than done when he attracted plenty of attention from Bishamon's shinki. They all knew he and Yato were here but didn't seem to know exactly what had happened, and he could feel their curious eyes burning into him. He tried to be friendly, but his nerves were frayed and all he really wanted to do was escape.

Kazuma took pity on him and showed him to the room next to Yato's, while lecturing him about the amenities and house rules. Yukine glared at the floor the whole time and waited for him to leave.

Kazuma lingered in the doorway after finishing his spiel. "For what it's worth… I'd rather see Yato alive than dead, and I'll do what I can to keep it that way. And I'm sorry for using spells on you."

Yukine snorted. "But you'll still sever his lifeline, and you would use your spells all over again if you thought it might help Bishamon."

Kazuma was quiet for a few seconds before nodding. "You're right. Protecting Veena is my highest priority, like protecting Yato is yours. Still, that doesn't mean we can't regret the hard decisions we have to make. We don't have to be enemies in this."

Yukine said nothing. He wasn't quite ready to forgive—and definitely not ready to trust again. As long as Kazuma wanted Yato's dad dead, he was as good as an enemy, whether they shared a bed for a day or not.

Kazuma sighed. "Right. Goodnight, Yukine."

He shut the door quietly behind him, and Yukine flopped over on the bed with a sigh. His mind was a mess, racing in circles at a thousand miles an hour as he tried to piece together what exactly had happened to Yato and how they could stop his dad from doing it again. How could he keep Yato alive and still safe from his dad? What had happened, and what was going to happen now?

He couldn't quiet his mind even after crawling under the covers. He lay in bed, staring out at the bright corners of the room—because there was no lamp in here and he wasn't about to go asking Kazuma for one, so he would just leave the light on—and worrying himself in circles.

The room itself was uncomfortable. It was unfamiliar and sterile and…too quiet. Empty. Yukine was used to sleeping with Yato just a few feet away, mumbling in his sleep and breathing steadily. Without that, it felt like something was missing. Maybe, he reflected sourly, that was part of the reason he hadn't been sleeping well lately.

He tossed and turned a while longer before giving up. Tucking a pillow and blanket under his arm, he tiptoed next door and let himself into Yato's room. He held his breath as he took painstaking care to shut the door quietly behind him and creep across the floor in the dark.

Which was something he hadn't taken into consideration. He hesitated, heart thumping madly against his ribcage, wondering if it was worth the empty room to keep the light.

"What are you doing?" Yato asked.

Yukine jumped nearly a foot in the air, his heart leaping into his throat, and snapped his head up to see a pair of bright blue eyes shining in the shadows.

He flushed and dropped his nesting material onto the floorboards. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't. Turn the light on."

"…Are you sure?"

"I'd rather have the light than a heart attack."

Yukine winced. "Sorry."

"It's fine. Just turn it on."

He turned the light on and walked over to perch awkwardly on the edge of the bed while Yato squinted against the influx of light and pulled the blanket up as a thin shield.

"Sorry," Yukine mumbled again. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Yato said, tentatively cracking an eye open to gauge the intensity of the light.

Yukine scowled, not impressed by the haggard, haunted cast to the god's face. "Don't lie to me."

"Then why ask?" Yato grumbled. He sighed. "I feel horrible, but it's a sight better than the past week."

"_Week?_" Yukine asked. "Did he–?" He cut himself off with great difficulty and swallowed down his concerns. "We'll talk tomorrow."

"Yeah…" Yato curled his limbs inward to give the shinki more room and watched him from the pillow without lifting his head. His eyes traced across Yukine's face and down to his bruised ribs. "I'm sorry. Next time, draw a borderline first and ask questions later."

"It's fine," Yukine said, even though the reminder started his ribs aching again like some dark magic. He didn't bother acknowledging the rest, because he didn't feel like trying to explain the impossibility of drawing a proper borderline against Yato again. "You weren't yourself. Your dad is a jerk."

Yato huffed out a single, breathy laugh. "Yeah, he is. It's… It's not because I don't trust you. I just don't want you near my father."

Yukine closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I know. But I'm supposed to protect you too, and… I'm your hafuri. We're supposed to stick together, even when things get tough. Whatever stupid plans you make, you're supposed to include me instead of running off on your own."

Yato was quiet for a long time, but then he sighed in a voice so quiet it was barely there at all, "That's a nice dream."

"Yato?" Yukine chewed on his lip as Yato's eyes slipped shut. He hesitated and then reached out to touch the god's forehead on a hunch, his lips quirking into a frown at the hot skin beneath his fingertips. "You're burning up."

"Your hands are always cold," Yato mumbled, sliding his head further down the pillow to escape the invasive fingers.

Yukine's frown deepened. Yato was always warm, but now his skin was overheated. It could be nothing. Or it could be a side effect of the possession. Either way, Yukine wasn't likely to figure it out tonight.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, even though he wasn't quite sure what he was apologizing for. "I won't let it happen again."

"Well, you're my guidepost, so I'll take your word for it. Now, I'm exhausted and you need to sleep."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I'm not…going anywhere."

Yukine let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding, and a little corner of the snarled mess in his chest untangled. Maybe that was the other half of the reason he couldn't sleep in an empty room.

"I sure hope not," he said as he slid off the bed and began arranging the blankets on the floor. "You'd get totally lost without a guidepost."

"…Something like that. If you're going to stay, at least come on the bed."

Heat splashed across Yukine's cheeks. "But–"

"This thing is huge. You could fit like eight people in here. And an elephant. It would be a crime to sleep on the floor with all this free space."

Yukine might have still refused because crawling into bed with Yato would be as embarrassing as being a scared child sleeping with their parent, but that hint of Yato's normal humor, however subdued, was enough to convince him. It was good to hear even a lackluster attempt after everything.

He gathered up the blanket and pillow before remembering the other elephant in the room. "Oh, the light."

"Just leave it on," Yato said around a yawn.

"But–"

"C'mon. And hush or we'll never sleep."

Yukine felt a little bad about it, but he was grateful to keep the light. He made a nest at the end of the bed and curled up, the mattress dipping slightly beneath him.

"All that space, and you curl up at the foot of the bed like a pet dog," Yato muttered as he pulled the covers over his head to block out the light.

"Whatever."

"Goodnight."

"…Goodnight."

Yukine pulled the blanket tight around him and listened to the sound of Yato's breathing. It took a long time for the god to fall asleep, but not as long as it took Yukine. He lay there cocooned in his own thoughts long after Yato's breathing finally evened out.

It was a hellish space between wakefulness and sleep, that was for sure. He cautiously crawled up the bed and resettled his nest so that he could curl up against Yato's back, not quite touching but close enough.

And eventually, the soothing rhythm of Yato's breathing lulled him to sleep.

* * *

**Note: Yup, you're right. I took that unexplored idea from "Ricochet" and ran with it. Admittedly, I was glad to sidestep that particular can of worms in that fic, but it was too interesting an idea to pass up entirely. It didn't fit well into that verse, so I made a new one :)**


	3. A war council is held

.

**Chapter 3**

_(In which explanations are demanded, a war council is held, and things are not nearly over.)_

* * *

"That's horrible!" Kofuku said. Her wide eyes held none of their usual sparkle as she looked around the table, her gaze flickering across Daikoku, Bishamon, Kazuma, Hiyori, Yukine, and then finally coming to rest on Yato, who had shown little interest in the discussion thus far despite his usual reluctance to discuss anything related to his father. "Yato-chan, are you…?"

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" Daikoku asked, his gruffness an obvious front to deflect attention away from the worry creasing his face.

Yukine drummed his fingers impatiently on the polished wood of the tabletop. It had already taken far too long for his liking to gather the relevant parties together in Bishamon's boardroom and catch everyone up on recent events. There had been a brief debate this morning about whether to include Kofuku and Daikoku at all since they weren't directly involved and knew far less about the situation with Yato's father than the rest of them, but they already knew something had happened and Yato had just shrugged and mumbled something about it being safer to keep them in the loop in case they became targets.

Yukine cast a sidelong glance at the god slumping in the chair beside him. Yato hadn't cracked even a single joke or said anything ridiculous all day. In fact, he hadn't said much of anything. He was still pale and pinched, eyes smudged with shadow and bearing a distinctly glassy sheen. Yukine supposed he couldn't blame Yato for being out of sorts after having been possessed by an ayakashi and nearly killing them, but it was downright disturbing to watch him drift about aimlessly like a ghost of his former self.

"Are you _sure _you're okay, Yato?" Hiyori asked for what must have been the twentieth time today. "You really don't look well."

Yato's breath whispered through the air like a sigh. "Fine."

Hiyori looked as unconvinced as Yukine felt. He had been hoping a night of rest would help, but Yato still looked terrible and shambled about lethargically like he had no energy or willpower. Yukine was afraid that the possession had damaged something inside him, maybe broken part of his spirit. But Yato was tough and resilient, and Yukine was sure he would be back on his feet soon enough. He had to be.

"The threat is much greater than I'd even expected," Bishamon continued as if she'd barely noticed the interruption. The faint, rhythmic clicking of her heel against the floorboards sped up again as her agitation increased, and Yukine had no doubt she would be pacing again if they weren't all sitting down. "If the sorcerer can use ayakashi to possess gods, we're all at risk and could become targets at any time. We'll have to bring this to Amaterasu immediately and spread the word to the other gods so that they can take measures to protect themselves."

"It's just me," Yato said, his words sliding over each other languidly with a distinct lack of urgency. Blank eyes traced lazy, unconcerned loops over the tabletop.

Bishamon paused, mouth hanging halfway open as she lost her steam, but then she recovered herself. "Excuse me?"

"He can't possess any god. Just me."

"What?" Yukine already didn't like the sound of this. Anything Yato's dad did to single him out seemed like bad news. "Why?"

"I don't understand," Bishamon said sharply. "It's about time you explained exactly what happened."

Silence hung thick in the air like storm clouds as Yato stared down at the polished wood as if searching for answers in the faint, distorted shimmer of his reflection. Bishamon's eyes narrowed, Kofuku and Daikoku exchanged a look, and even Kazuma fidgeted and cleared his throat.

"What happened after you left, Yato-chan?" Kofuku asked when the silence had dragged on for a beat too long.

"What did he do to you?" Hiyori asked quietly, her fingers tangling together like a nest of writhing snakes before going still and clenching white-knuckled.

Yato blinked and shook his head slowly as if emerging from a daze, frowning a little as he pressed his fingertips to his forehead. "That brush he stole, the one Ebisu brought back from Yomi, is much more powerful than the other one he has. It lets him create and control ayakashi more effectively, even to the point of using them to possess and control humans. I don't know exactly how it works, but if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say it follows as a natural extension of the power since ayakashi already influence and sometimes possess and corrupt humans. It won't work on gods, because that natural connection doesn't exist and you're too powerful. Gods and ayakashi don't really mix. Possessing a god should be as impossible as binding one with shinki spells, and the attempt would more likely produce blight than anything else.

"The way he got around that…is me." His shoulders slumped as he propped his elbow on the table and settled his bowed head on a fist against his forehead. He closed his eyes and sighed, a tired sound. "He gave me my life and my name. And he somehow piggybacked off that when creating an ayakashi and attaching it to me. He gave it _my _name. That's why it answers to 'Yaboku'. Basically, it has a cheat code to seize control when it's inside me, because it's using my own name and life. Or rather, Father bound our names and lives together so that he can effectively control us both by controlling one of us." He chuckled breathily. "If I won't cooperate, he'll just hijack my body."

He didn't seem concerned by the ring of horrified faces gaping at him, but Yukine's stomach roiled in time to his swirling thoughts. That was…

"That's horrible!" Hiyori cried, her fingers strangling themselves into white-knuckled fists against the tabletop.

It was possibly the most horrifying thing Yukine had ever heard, and he had heard some pretty horrifying things since dying and becoming a shinki. Everything he learned about Yato's dad was terrible, but this somehow reached a different level entirely. Out of all the terrible things you could do to someone, literally taking control of them and dancing them about like a puppet to obey your every whim had to be one of the absolute worst. Finding a way to do it physically, to actually bind Yato in chains and replace him inside his own body, when threats and manipulation no longer worked… That was a whole new level of twisted.

No wonder Yato felt like he didn't have any choice but to do what his father said. If he refused, look what happened.

"That should be impossible," Kazuma said, but his voice had a strangled sort of quality to it and he had pushed his glasses further up his nose five times within the past thirty seconds. "It's…like the perfect storm."

Yato shrugged. "It's a lot of moving parts, but it's not like he left it to chance. I'm sure he's been planning it for a while. He was careful to set everything up just right."

Bishamon frowned. "But if, theoretically speaking–"

"No. It has something to do with how he created me and fashioned himself as my lifeline. He has more control over me than he does you. More access to what makes me tick. He doesn't own the rest of you the way he owns me, so he doesn't have an in."

"He doesn't _own _you," Yukine snapped.

Yato huffed out a breath that set the dark fringe of hair across his forehead fluttering. "You're missing the point."

"I changed my mind," Bishamon said abruptly, a renewed sense of urgency twining beneath her restlessness. "No one can know about this. We haven't spread the story around, so we'll just swear anyone who saw it firsthand to secrecy. It's common knowledge he disappeared and at least a few people around here have an idea of why, but… If anyone asks, you had a run-in with the sorcerer and didn't fare well. Don't tell anyone he can possess you with ayakashi."

A frown tugged at Kazuma's lips as he adjusted his glasses yet again. "Veena, are you sure it wouldn't be safer to–?"

She shook her head. "If the sorcerer could possess any god, it would be too dangerous not to warn the others. But if it's just Yato… The heavens are more likely to just kill him to shut down the problem. It's more practical to disarm the sorcerer and rid him of a dangerous weapon, and the life of a single minor god isn't valued that highly. Definitely not highly enough to justify keeping him around if he becomes a liability. No one else can catch wind of this."

"What do you care?" Yukine snapped right back. "You're still going to kill his dad anyway."

Bishamon huffed out an exasperated breath. "Is this really the time to start going on about that again?"

"Well, if you–"

"That's enough, Yukine," Yato said quietly, propping his cheek on his fist. "She's not wrong, and we could use her help now that our goals are finally aligned."

Yukine sat up straight and glared at him. "Our goal is _not _to kill your dad. I don't know why you thought that was a good idea or what you thought you could do to him without _me_, but I'm your guidepost and I'm telling you to snap out of it already."

"You can't just say you're going to cut your lifeline and run off," Hiyori added in a thin voice, hunching her shoulders and staring down at her hands.

"It's too late," Yato said with another apathetic roll of his shoulders. "He has to die."

"No way!" Yukine realized he couldn't expect anything from his idiot master right now, and it wasn't like he could count on Bishamon or Kazuma to have his back. He appealed to Kofuku and Daikoku instead, leaning forward as he turned his pleading gaze on them. "Can't you talk some sense into him? He's going to kill himself trying to take out his dad—or actually manage it and disappear."

They exchanged a troubled look, and Kofuku chewed on her lip for a long time before saying, "I actually agree with Yukki and Hiyorin. Couldn't we come up with another solution so that Yato-chan has a fighting chance?"

"Maybe the sorcerer could be…imprisoned?" Daikoku suggested, his gaze darting around the faces circling the table. "Instead of killed?"

Aggravation carved ragged creases across Bishamon's face. "That's a pretty idea, but he's too dangerous. We can't risk him ever going free again, and he's already upsetting the natural order of things. He's a big enough threat that he needs to be completely eradicated."

"I second that," Yato mumbled. "You don't understand exactly how dangerous he is. Anyway, it's too late now. I already told Amaterasu that I was going to kill him. And if I fail, the heavens are going to move against him at Ooharai."

"_What?_" Yukine had suspected Yato had said far too much when Amaterasu had summoned him, but this was even worse than he had thought. "You stupid–! I can't even talk to you right now."

He crossed his arms tightly over his chest and glared down at the tabletop. Everything he did to protect Yato, and the idiot had to go and ruin it all. It wasn't _fair_. Even if he could somehow defang Bishamon and Kazuma, Yato had stupidly involved the heavens and cut off all his escape routes.

"There has to be something we can do," Hiyori said.

Bishamon opened her mouth, clearly decided better than to say whatever was on her mind, and closed it again.

Yukine made a valiant effort to shake himself out of his funk. "Well, we won't kill him. We'll just…find a way to stop him from using the ayakashi like that."

"…We could steal the brush?" Kazuma suggested, clearing his throat. Bishamon raised an eyebrow at him.

Yukine had not forgiven Kazuma by any means, but this very practical suggestion buoyed his spirits nonetheless. "Exactly! If he doesn't have the brush and can't control the ayakashi, he can't possess you. And then we can find a way to make him stop everything without killing him and talk the heavens down."

Yato looked less than enthused. "It wouldn't be that easy. Just getting the brush away from him would be next to impossible, and stopping the heavens would be even more so. Didn't you learn anything from last time?"

"Do you have a better plan?" Yukine retorted. He immediately regretted it when his brain caught up to his mouth and Yato's resigned gaze didn't falter.

"Yes," said the god. "Kill him. He's much too dangerous to let live."

"But–"

"You don't believe me? Why don't you ask Hiyori what I've been up to lately? I'm sure she's seen the news."

Yukine stared, puzzled by the non sequitur. "What?"

Why would Hiyori know anything when she had been just as worried and in the dark as he was? What news?

Hiyori flinched upright in surprise. "What do you–?" Her eyes widened to the size of dinner plates and her hand fluttered up to cover the horrified expression twisting her lips. "The killings?"

A rock settled in the pit of Yukine's stomach as the pieces began clicking into place like a puzzle just out of focus. He searched his master's face for any sign that he might be overreacting, but Yato was just as impassive and flat as before and nothing showed on his face.

"What killings?" asked Daikoku with a frown.

Hiyori shook her head in denial as she said, "There have been over fifty confirmed murders within the city limits in the past five days or so. I'm surprised you haven't heard anything, even without watching the news. The whole city is freaking out. My parents won't even let me out of the house alone anymore."

Yukine's first—totally irrelevant and possibly hysterical—thought was that this might explain why Hiyori was always running around in her spirit form these days and hadn't brought her body by in a while. The ring of white faces and sound of indrawn breaths and muttered curses quickly chased such a silly notion out of his head.

"Yato-chan…" Kofuku murmured, her face scrunching up.

Obviously, they had been going about this the wrong way. They had been so caught up in scouring the city for Yato that they had somehow missed what was going on right under their noses. Instead of searching for Yato directly, they should have noticed the sudden string of killings, suspected something was happening, and tried tracking them back to their source. Were they really so isolated from the human world that they had missed it all? How had they not suspected a thing?

"That many…?" Yato mused under his breath, eyes dull as unpolished sapphire wandering back and forth along the tabletop apathetically. "It's hard to keep track."

As the initial shock faded, a new thought hit Yukine like a punch to the gut. He had worked so hard to grow stronger and become Yato's guidepost. He had promised Yato that he wouldn't let him kill anyone anymore, that he could help him change himself and be the god of fortune he wanted to be.

And he had _failed_.

"I-I'm sorry," he rasped. "I–"

Yato shook his head ever so slightly. "It's Father, really." He finally looked up from his listless scrutiny of the tabletop to meet Yukine's horrified gaze. Yukine had never realized how dark his eyes could look when they weren't lit from within with their normal spark, like watery pools stretched tight across a black void. "Do you understand yet? I was created as a tool of destruction. My entire purpose is death and killing. It's what I am."

_That _managed to cut through Yukine's daze, and he drew himself up in a fit of righteous indignation. "That is _not–_"

"You're missing the point. I am dangerous, because I was created that way. I _am _a weapon. Those killings? Those are nothing compared to what I'll do once Father finishes his experiments and sets me loose. Do you have any idea how much more damage I would do if he found a way to make me call you too? It was hard enough to stop him last time, and I'm sure he'll figure out a way around it. I'm dangerous enough without an ayakashi and a hafuri.

"This isn't even just about Father anymore. If he gets his hands on me again—and worse, if he gets his hands on _both _of us—it will be a bloodbath. I'm sure the heavens could kill me sooner or later, but not before I do some serious damage. This entire scheme of his is turning me into the perfect weapon to kill both gods and humans. We can't take any chances. He needs to be stopped before it gets any worse."

The chilling matter-of-factness leveling every word sent a shiver tickling down Yukine's spine. It wasn't that he didn't already know Yato had been a god of calamity and a killer—and he certainly knew what a phenomenal warrior the god was—but hearing it all laid out like that, worst case scenario, was sobering.

But was it enough to make him give up on finding a way around this that wouldn't kill Yato too? No.

"We can find another way," he said firmly, tamping down his conflicted emotions to present a strong, unyielding front. Two could play this game, and he was as stubborn as they came.

Yato tilted his head and studied Yukine for several seconds before returning his gaze to the table. "I had another shinki, you know. A long time ago."

Once again, Yukine was thrown off balance. "What? You've been around for ages. You've had tons of shinki."

"She was my second," Yato said, sounding oddly detached. "She found me and asked me to name her. She was the first one who taught me that there was a different way to live, that there was more to the world than death. She showed me how to help people instead of kill them. I guess she was my first proper guidepost."

Yukine shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Yato, as a rule, did not talk about his past unless it was forcibly pried out of him, and even then it was only the bare minimum. He kept his cards close to his chest, sometimes so much so that they might as well be tucked behind his ribcage. Yukine often wished he was more open, but right now it was setting his teeth on edge.

"Yato–"

"Father found out about her somehow. Maybe because I asked too many questions, maybe because I didn't want to kill anymore. So he set up a trap and tricked me into killing her."

Yukine stiffened with a jolt, and something twisted deep in his chest. "Yato–"

"She was the closest thing I ever had to a mother," Yato mused to himself, eyes still distant and glassy. "She was the one who named me Yato." He shook his head and looked up, and his eyes were bleak and sharp as broken glass as they pinned Yukine to the spot. "There's a reason he and Nora are so interested in you and Hiyori," he said flatly. "You're bad influences on me. He's just been playing games with you so far, but once he decides keeping you around isn't worth the hassle anymore, he'll take you out himself or have me do it. Right now he wants you, in particular, because I'll be a more efficient killer with Sekki, but he certainly doesn't need you and will cut you out of his plans if you're too much trouble.

"If you won't agree to kill him to put a stop to the threat of the genocide he's planning to unleash, at least consider yourself and Hiyori, because you two are targets right now."

Yukine opened his mouth, but no sound came out. Yato's gaze was so heavy and his words heavier still, and Yukine's brain was racing to fill in all the gaps the god had left in his story. It was bad enough with all the worst parts clearly edited out, but even Yato's expressionless delivery couldn't quite disguise the soul-deep ache buried beneath the words.

"Yato…" Hiyori swallowed hard and her eyes shimmered with moisture. "It's not your fault."

Yato's eyes snapped to her face in a heartbeat and narrowed dangerously. "What do you know?" he asked harshly. She flinched, and he blew out a breath and turned back to Bishamon and the others, whose faces were still frozen in varying states of horror and dismay. "Anyway, it's going to be a lot harder for me to handle him myself like I intended. The second I set foot out of Takamagahara, he's going to stick the ayakashi back in me and then it's game over. And I assume the process will be less…drawn out the second time around."

Everyone stared back at him for a long moment before Kazuma shook himself out of his reverie.

"Ah…" He cleared his throat and fiddled with his glasses some more, his face drawn in tight lines. "Yes, it would be better if you didn't leave Takamagahara for now. It's not worth the risk."

"You can stay here," Bishamon said. Her foot had stopped its rhythmic tapping against the floorboards, and the frantic light in her eyes had dulled. "My team and I can work on locating and eradicating the sorcerer."

Yato's lips flattened into a tight line. "Be careful. Don't underestimate him."

"Of course not."

"We can bring some of your things, if you want," Daikoku said, looking between Yato and Yukine.

"Ooh, we can stay too and it will be just like home!" Kofuku said, although her eyes shone with the gritty brightness of fluorescent lighting rather than genuine sunniness.

"Uh…" Bishamon eyed the unlucky goddess sidelong. "We can…discuss that later." She tapped her finger on the table restlessly as Kofuku pouted. "Do you think he would launch an assault here or attempt to sneak in if you don't return to the lower realm?" she asked Yato.

Yato shrugged. "He might, but probably as a last resort. He still thinks I'll come crawling back when he calls. When I don't, he'll look for a way to…_persuade _me. He'll probably go after Yukine or Hiyori to lure me out. If it was feasible for Hiyori to stay in Takamagahara too, I'd advocate that. Since it's not…"

"Aiha will stay with her," Bishamon said. "Maybe we can figure out something else as well…"

"We'll keep an eye on her too," Daikoku said.

"And Yukine will stay in Takamagahara," Kazuma added. "We'll increase security on the mansion until the sorcerer is safely defeated. It shouldn't be hard—everyone already knows he's gone after Veena once, so no one will think it's suspicious if we exercise extra caution."

Yukine glanced across Yato and exchanged a look with Hiyori, who looked as shaken and unhappy as he felt. He saw the same knowledge reflected in her eyes, that plans were being made to protect them but Yato's dad would die.

And that was all kinds of messed up, because neither Yukine nor Hiyori wanted to risk Yato disappearing and certainly didn't want to be the reason he was deciding to tempt fate.

"Don't worry so much," Yukine said. "We'll be okay."

"We know the risks," Hiyori added. "We're willing to take them."

Yato's eyes dipped halfway closed, and he began kneading at his forehead lethargically again. Was he looking even paler than earlier? Were the lines carved into his face a little deeper? Maybe he should go back to sleep instead of wasting his breath on being such an idiot.

"No, you two are weak links right now," he said with a sigh. "When he wants to lure me out… Hiyori would be the easier target, but I think he'll go for Yukine first to kill two birds with one stone. That way he can get me and make sure he has Sekki too. He knows I'll look for a way around bringing Yukine with me to fetch Hiyori if he grabs her, because it's too dangerous if he has us both. He might try snatching Hiyori too, but Yukine is a more enticing target."

Yukine swallowed hard. Listening to Yato talk tactics rather than laugh off the threat and whip out Sekki without thinking out a real plan was strangely sobering. And hearing himself laid out as a prime target set Yukine on edge, especially because he could see the chilling practicality of it once Yato spelled it out.

But still…

"He won't catch me," Yukine said with a show of bravado despite his nerves, conveniently ignoring the fact that he had walked right into a trap already in his desperation to find Yato. "We'll be fine." He could almost feel the hypocrisy creeping back up his throat like a slimy thing as he added, "And if he does catch me, just don't come after me. I mean, what can he really do to me anyway?"

Yato snapped upright as if struck by lightning, horror burning away his sickly lethargy in a heartbeat as he stared at Yukine wide-eyed.

"Are you insane?" he demanded, anger and disbelief shining bright in his eyes. "Have you listened to _nothing_ I've said? What, you really think he'll have mercy on _you_? Please.

"I was younger than you when he put a sword in my hand and taught me that my reason for existence was death. I was younger than you when he asked me to cut off the ears and bring them back as trophies, when he taught me to obey with ayakashi and threats and punishments, when he taught me never to talk to outsiders or think about leaving, when he took to punishing Hiiro and Sakura to keep me in line." The fire in his eyes faded back to something dull and lifeless. "I was younger than you when he tricked me into killing the only person who had ever loved me."

He propped his elbows on the table again and dropped his face into his hands, dark hair falling across his features. "This is why I hate kids," he mumbled into his fingers. "You think you're invincible, like you can survive anything and do whatever you put your mind to as long as you just try hard enough. You feel so big, but you look so small."

Yukine's mouth hung partway open, his heart pounding against his ribcage in a series of sickening thuds. He had pushed Yato a little too far, and learned a little too much in the process. All the fight seemed to have fled the god in one fell swoop, leaving him looking even smaller and more listless than before.

Yukine couldn't regret fighting Yato on this, but he did feel a prickle of guilt for worrying the god so much and, perhaps, unintentionally belittling his own experiences.

For a moment, Yukine could almost see a small, dark-haired child with mournful, haunted eyes sitting in Yato's place. He had never really thought of Yato as a child before and had never seen so deep beneath his sunny mask, but it suddenly hit home, the deeply personal struggle Yato was fighting alongside the battle Yukine had already been aware of.

He didn't know if everyone else was having the same revelation, but they all seemed just as frozen in place, too afraid to speak.

"It's a nice dream," Yato said quietly. "But I've been trying to escape him for centuries already, and it's not likely to change so easily now. He's already much too interested in you. You don't understand… I've been keeping him away from you so far, but I can't protect you forever. I can't even protect myself. I understand your concerns and you're my guidepost so I respect them, but I've dealt with my father for a millennium longer than you have and I have a better idea of what he's capable of. Let me handle things my way."

There was another long pause before Bishamon cleared her throat, the sound too loud in the stillness. "Perhaps if we…"

She trailed back into silence, and no one had the heart to try completing her statement. Yukine chewed the inside of his cheek bloody and twisted his hands together as he watched Yato, who remained slumped over and utterly unreachable. Taking a deep breath, he steeled himself and reached out, his hand hovering in the air just above the god's arm.

"Yato…"

"Actually…" Yato dropped his hands, his arms falling across each other as they rested back against the table, to reveal a new furrow between his brows and faint frown tugging at his lips. "He's already so interested in you and the danger is great enough that it might be worth considering–"

A flash of clarity struck Yukine like white-hot lightning a second before the words left Yato's mouth, and he jerked his hand back and threw the full force of his anger and desperation at the god to stop them.

"No!" he said sharply. "Don't say it. Don't you dare say it."

Yato sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping like Atlas under the weight of the world as he stared down blankly. "I'm not saying I will, but… It wouldn't solve everything because Father would know I still cared enough to use you against me, but you wouldn't be as big of a target and there wouldn't be the risk of your weapon form falling into my hands if I'm possessed again. Actually, if we cut Hiyori's–"

"Shut up!" Yukine snarled, ignoring the widening of Hiyori's eyes at the unfinished declaration. "You're stuck with us until the end."

"I'm just saying, it's at least worth considering as a possibility if things get any worse."

"No!" Red hazed Yukine's vision, and the violence built up in every tense muscle. And then he exploded, lunging at Yato and shoving his chest _hard_. Yato let out a yelp, the likes of which Yukine had never heard from him before, and actually toppled out of his chair to sprawl across the floor. "I didn't give you permission to release me! Stupid, good-for-nothing god! Don't you dare even _think _about it!"

Yukine glared down at the prone god, burning with righteous fury and betrayal and pain. Yato was an absolute _idiot _if he thought he could pull that off. How could he even consider just cutting Yukine and Hiyori out like that? What were they supposed to do without him? Were they really not worth fighting for until the bitter end?

"Yu-Yukine!" Hiyori spluttered.

"What?" he demanded. "It's not like you–"

A ragged, gargling breath rattled in Yato's throat. He convulsed on the ground, limbs twitching and hands clawing at the floor as he tossed his head to the side.

"Yato?" Yukine's anger fled all at once as he remembered that Yato was hurt…probably exactly where the hafuri had hit him. The god might deserve trouble for being such an idiot, but Yukine didn't want to seriously _hurt _him. "Are you okay?"

A shudder ran through Yato's body, chest heaving, and a wet, hacking cough escaped his lips.

"Yato!" Hiyori cried. She jumped to her feet, her chair clattering to the ground behind her.

Yukine gaped down at the spasming god as he coughed up a mouthful of blood, followed by another. Crimson droplets spattered the floor and gathered in a shallow puddle.

Yukine breathed out a startled curse and kicked his chair back to fall to his knees beside Yato. "Hey! Hey, Yato, can you hear me? Are you…?"

Yato's eyes, glazed and glassy, slid shut. With a few more twitches and one last burbling cough stained crimson, he went still.

"Move," Bishamon said harshly as she nudged Yukine aside and knelt down beside him, with everyone else crowding around anxiously overhead.

"I–I forgot he was hurt," Yukine managed to choke out past the tightness in his throat. "I didn't mean…"

"Blood?" Kofuku squeaked. "Why is Yato-chan coughing up blood?"

"Unconscious," Bishamon said, no-nonsense even though her face was drawn in tight lines. She checked Yato's pulse and unzipped his jacket. "No, it wasn't you, Yukine. The injuries I gave him aren't deep enough for such a severe symptom. His skin is so hot—he's burning up."

She pushed Yato's shirt up to reveal the mess of bandages wrapped around his stomach and chest. Red seeped through the gauze, but it was the purplish-black blotch peeking out from beneath that sucked all the air out of the room.

"Kazuma," Bishamon said flatly.

"Of course." Kazuma turned away and headed for the door with quick, clipped strides. "I'll get some purification water."

"And fresh bandages, if you will. These need to be changed."

"Yes. I'll be right back."

The door clicked shut behind him, leaving them with the sound of Yato's labored breathing filtering through the dead air.

"Why is he still blighted?" Daikoku asked.

"How did we miss _that_?" Hiyori demanded, her hands fisting in her skirt.

"We didn't." Bishamon worked at peeling back layers of bandages with steady fingers, but left a thin layer of gauze over the wounds. The blight crept higher with the unraveling, a little bit more uncovered with each layer of gauze removed. "There's no way we could have missed it. We practically doused him with purification water while cleaning him up to make sure the ayakashi didn't get him."

"Then why?" Yukine whispered, his gaze traveling over the blood-spattered floor and Yato's slack face before resting back on the blight creeping out from beneath the bandages.

"I don't know. Obviously the possession is still affecting him somehow. Gods and ayakashi don't mix."

"But–"

"_I don't know_, Yukine. Let's just take it one step at a time."

Yukine's mouth snapped shut with an audible click as he watched Bishamon fuss over Yato.

"No wonder he's been so out of sorts," Hiyori mumbled. "I thought he was just freaked out, but… He did say that he wasn't feeling well."

Why had they dismissed that? What had Yato said when they'd first rescued him? That it felt like blight all over?

It had been easy to assume that any lingering discomfort would fade quickly or was just a product of his troubled mind. But just because he was broken down by his father's schemes and terrified of losing control of his own body didn't mean that something else wasn't going on too.

The door opened, and Kazuma hurried back in with a medical kit and pitcher of water. Bishamon barely spared him a glance before pulling off the rest of the bandages with a wet slurping sound. Fresh blood welled up from the ugly gashes torn diagonally across Yato's chest, but she quickly cleaned up the area with rags and disinfectant.

It looked worse without the bandages covering it up, and edges of the gouges were stained purple when she rinsed away the blood.

"Cleanse him," she said shortly.

Kazuma nodded and upended the pitcher over the prone god. Purified water rained down in sparkling sheets and splashed over Yato's bare chest.

Everyone stared.

The blight glistened wetly against bone-white skin as it crept ever lower, glossy like spilled ink.


	4. Yato has a theory about his condition

**Wow, did I really leave you guys hanging for a month? Sorry x.x Been so busy that it slipped my mind.**

**Aofery: Ha ha, thanks. This is definitely the _longest_ of my Noragami fics, anyway lol Yeah, those are my favorite kinds of character studies too :) This one is a bit more focused on Yukine, but in the context of everything going on with Yato, poor guy. They're going to have a rough go of it.**

* * *

**Chapter 4**

_(In which Yato has a grim theory about his condition and his father is an ass.)_

* * *

Shinki paused in the halls to watch the procession with wide eyes.

"Is he okay?" Karuha asked as she drew up short in a doorway farther ahead, her brother peeking out of the room behind her.

Yukine swallowed hard and forced his feet to move a little faster to keep up with Kazuma's brisk strides. Kazuma was surprisingly gentle with the limp god cradled in his arms, and the apparent ease with which he handled him only made Yato seem smaller and more insubstantial.

And that was saying something, since Yato already looked like death. His jacket covered the blight once more, but his skin had a deathly pallor and there were tight, pained lines sketched across his face even though his eyes remained closed. His neck and limbs dangled lifelessly, like something was broken inside him, and there was a ragged wheeze staining the air passing between his lips that made it sound like he was fighting for every breath.

There had been a time, only a few days before, when he had been bright and vibrant and laughing. And even though he had been withdrawn and subdued since his rescue, he had still been moving about and talking and being some semblance of himself. How had it changed so quickly?

"Fine, fine," Bishamon said with a tight smile as she led the way down the hall with quick, clipped strides. "He just hasn't recovered from his injuries and overexerted himself. We'll just bring him back to his room to rest."

Right, because they couldn't tell anyone else what was really happening until they had figured it out and could be sure handing that knowledge out wouldn't endanger Yato further. They couldn't risk telling anyone about the possession. So they also couldn't tell them that blight was eating away at his skin underneath the jacket and shirt and bandages, that they had tried everything they could think of to cleanse it and it refused to budge, that he was coughing up blood as if he were five times as blighted as he actually was.

"Well… I hope he's feeling better soon." Karuha drifted back a step as they hurried past, making Kazuha squawk and complain about her stepping on his foot.

Yukine rushed past without a second glance. Hiyori hurried along at his side, and their gazes met for a brief moment. He could see the same fear and worry he felt reflected in her eyes. They didn't understand what was happening to Yato or how to fix it, and their minds wouldn't be put at ease until they did.

The unruly cadence of Yato's breath shifted ever so slightly, and he pulled in a shuddering breath like a sigh as his eyes fluttered halfway open.

"Yato?" Hiyori asked.

Yato's eyes slid back and forth, drifting across the faces gathered around him as he tried to orient himself. "What happened?" he mumbled, his voice raspy and weak.

"Before or after you started coughing up blood and collapsed?" Bishamon asked tightly, throwing a glance back over her shoulder as she turned down the hallway towards Yato's borrowed room.

"Um…" Yato's brows knit together above sleep-addled, bewildered eyes. "I don't remember that."

"That might be because you were unconscious," Kazuma said.

"Are you alright?" Hiyori demanded, practically leaning across Yukine to get a better look at Yato as she hurried to keep up. "I mean, obviously you aren't. How are you feeling? I mean, not great, but–"

"S'okay," Yato slurred. "Calm down." He blinked up at Kazuma. "I can walk."

"Uh-huh," Kazuma said, unimpressed. "Stay still."

Yato hung limp like a ragdoll despite his assertion, and the fact that he didn't insist on walking was a good indication that he really wasn't up to it. He was like a puppet with its strings cut, and it hit Yukine like a punch to the gut the second the thought crossed his mind because wasn't that _exactly _what Yato was? His dad was definitely doing his best to make him a puppet, and Yato clearly wasn't doing well even when that plan had been foiled. Was there no way to win?

"Oh, I see," Yato said, dropping his voice to a hushed murmur. "You're practicing for when you finally have the guts to ask Veena to marry you."

It wasn't quite Yato's normal spark when his face was pinched with pain and every word that passed his lips seemed to take great effort, but at least he was trying. Unfortunately, even that wasn't enough to make the bridal carry amusing.

"Hush," Kazuma hissed.

Bishamon glanced back. "What was that?"

He turned red and looked like he wanted to sink through the floor. "N-nothing!"

Yukine was disgusted by the display. How could Yato put up such a pale charade at a time like this? How could the others fall into step?

"When were you going to tell us?" he asked harshly. "When were you going to tell us about–?"

"We'll talk when we get to the room," Bishamon interrupted, shooting a look at two shinki talking further down the hall.

Yukine twisted his mouth shut, unsaid words curdling sour on his tongue, and glared at the floor.

"You okay, kid?" Yato asked in a breathy sigh.

Yukine snorted loudly and crossed his arms over his chest. Yeah, because _he _was the one who was messed up. Still, he obediently tamped down his emotions as best he could. Yato was enough of a mess without them.

He kept his mouth clamped shut as Bishamon deflected questions from her shinki and led them back to the room. Hiyori, Kofuku, and Daikoku fussed over Yato enough without Yukine's help anyway.

Bishamon pulled the covers back from the bed and Kazuma laid Yato down gently as everyone crowded around.

"Daikoku, close the door, please," Bishamon ordered.

He did, and suddenly they were closeted away again, tucked in a secret little corner while they hid from the world and scrambled to figure this out. Yato lay exactly where Kazuma had put him, like it was too much energy to move even a little, and eyed the gathering tiredly.

"So…"

"The blight!" Yukine burst out. "When were you going to tell us about the blight?"

Yato stared back blankly. "What?"

Bishamon shook her head and pulled up the hem of his jacket and shirt, careful not to let her fingers graze his skin. "We couldn't cleanse it. The purification water did nothing."

Yato tilted his head ever so slightly to get a better look at the purple blotches bleeding out from beneath the bandages. "Oh. That explains a lot."

Everyone stared at him like he was crazy.

"Really?" Kazuma asked. "Because that's the exact opposite of what we thought."

"Mm." Yato dropped his head back onto the pillow and closed his eyes. "Would explain why I keep feeling like I'm blighted when I can't find blight anywhere. Yeah, I don't think you can cleanse that."

"Why not?" Hiyori's voice rose sharply in pitch. "Why isn't the purification water working?"

"You gotta cleanse it at the source," Yato mumbled. "Normally ayakashi blight you at the point of contact."

"Yes, so–"

"It was _inside _me, Hiyori."

The words fell over the room like a ton of bricks. Hiyori actually stepped back, eyes widening and mouth falling open into a startled 'o', and the dawning horror on everyone's faces was perfectly legible.

Another piece of the puzzle clicked into place with a resounding, sickening thud, and it left Yukine reeling. The ayakashi had been _inside _Yato. The blight was _inside _Yato. Yato's listlessness and discomfort, his skin burning to the touch, the coughed-up blood when the visible blight wasn't advanced enough to warrant it…

Yukine's stomach turned over with a sickly flop.

"The reason it seems to be spreading out from the wound…" Bishamon swallowed loudly enough to be audible.

"Seems to be spreading awful fast," Yato murmured. He looked so small there, stretched out on the bed half-curled up with his eyes closed.

"But–but–why can't we at least cleanse what we can see?" Hiyori demanded.

"Maybe Yato-chan could drink purification water?" Kofuku suggested.

Daikoku cleared his throat and said, "I…don't think that would work."

She visibly deflated. "Me neither. But there has to be _something _we can do."

Bishamon rounded on Yato, her face set in hard lines. "You have to cut your connection with it."

Yato snorted. "How do you expect me to do that? It's not a shinki. I'm not the one who forged the bond."

"What do you mean?" Yukine asked. The sweet tang of copper tickled his tongue as he steadily chewed through the inside of his cheek.

"I don't know," Bishamon said with a harsh sigh. "But it seems like when a shinki is blighting their master and you can't cleanse the blight unless you cleanse the shinki or cut the bond. There's obviously some kind of connection keeping them bound together."

"Guess it is sort of like a shinki," Yato mused. "And sort of not."

"I don't understand," Hiyori said as she looked between Yato and Bishamon uncertainly.

"We use our lives to name shinki. The reason we feel their emotions and bear the blight of their sins… That connection exists because we bind shinki to our very lives. An ayakashi isn't the same, but… Father gave it my name and bound it to my life as a sort of cheat to make this whole possession thing work on a god. There must be something keeping the blight in check while it's actually possessing me, but that protection disappears when it's not inside me and it becomes something closer to when Ebisu was naming ayakashi like shinki and blighting himself. When it's something bound to my life that's the source of the problem, you have to fix the problem there, where it originates. Just like how we would have to fix a problem within a shinki to fix the blight it's inflicting on a god."

"But an ayakashi can't undergo an ablution, and Yato-chan can't just _release _it," Kofuku said solemnly.

"So our only option is to kill it," Bishamon finished.

Daikoku nodded slowly, his lips turned down in a frown. "Those _are _the three ways to deal with a shinki blighting their master. If the bond is similar enough, then theoretically it could work."

Yukine perked up at this very sensible and feasible solution. He seized on it hungrily. This was good. This meant they had some kind of plan they could put into action instead of just grasping at straws and panicking in the dark. It meant he could _do _something.

"That shouldn't be a problem," he said. "We kill ayakashi all the time. We're pros."

"It won't be you," Kazuma said, his eyes sympathetic but firm. "Yato isn't in any state to be hunting ayakashi, nor should he leave Takamagahara until this issue is resolved. It's too risky, and we can't afford to fight him if he's possessed again."

This also seemed eminently sensible to Yukine, who nodded. "Yeah, he's safer here and he's a mess right now. But I can–"

"_No_." Yato struggled to twist around and prop himself up on a shaky elbow. He fixed Yukine with a hard, unyielding stare. "You will stay here and not leave Takamagahara. We can't afford for Father to get his hands on you."

Yukine scowled. "But I have to do something!"

"Then stay here where you're safe and we don't have to worry about you."

"But–"

"Let me be clear," Yato said. "If Father captures you, I will come after you. And then he will have both of us. He'll possess me again, and by then I'm sure he'll have found a way to override what little control I have left and force me to call you. And then we'll go on a killing spree. Let's not go there."

"Then don't come after me if something happens!"

Yato shook his head, gaze flat and turned inward. "If I were a better, more practical god, then I probably wouldn't. But I'm not, so. If you or Hiyori are captured, I will walk straight into his trap because I'm not going to leave you behind. So the most useful thing you can do right now is make sure that doesn't happen."

Yukine opened his mouth, closed it again. His heart twisted into knots inside his ribcage.

Yato was being foolish. And selfish. The right thing to do would be to sacrifice a shinki to save potentially hundreds of lives. But this was Yato, and he was loyal to a fault. He was no stranger to death or tragedy, and he very well might stand by and watch it happen if it meant saving Yukine or Hiyori. He would burn the world down for them if he had to. The world had never done much for him anyway, so maybe it was more amazing that he would go to the lengths he already did to help its inhabitants. But when it came down to it, he would choose the one or two people who meant everything to him over the thousands who had never looked at him twice.

And it was _unbearably _stupid, and maybe a bit callous, but Yukine understood. It was the same way that he knew if Yato was possessed again and went on a killing spree, he would still fight to stop Bishamon from killing him to put an end to it. He would do everything he could to prevent it from getting to that point, but when it came down to the wire, he would choose Yato every time. So maybe he was selfish too, maybe that made him a potentially dangerous guidepost, but that was the way things were.

As much as he hated Yato tying his hands on this, could he really complain when he would do the same if their positions were reversed? They could be selfish together, and maybe take comfort in the fact that there was someone who would come for them no matter what.

"_Neither _of you are to leave," Bishamon said with heavy finality, shooting them both a wary look like she knew exactly what they were thinking. "We'll set up extra security around the mansion, so it's safer for you to stay inside. It will be an unmitigated disaster if the sorcerer gets his hands on you, and I doubt we'll be able to undo things as easily as last time. So don't get caught.

"Kazuma and I will hunt down the ayakashi and kill it. I'd rather not involve anyone else, but… We'll bring the team that already saw the first confrontation, but we won't update them on any sensitive information or your condition. They already know that the ayakashi needs to be killed and the brush recovered, even if they don't know the rest of it. If anyone asks, Yato had a nasty run-in with the sorcerer and is recovering here because he's being targeted for unknown reasons. Don't show off the blight or open your big mouth. We'll take care of the ayakashi."

"Good luck with that," Yato muttered. He dropped his head back on the pillow and stared off into space with eyes that were dull and unenthused. "You'll have a hell of a time finding it, I'm sure."

"I'm sure we can track it down," Kazuma said.

"Yeah, because you had so much luck tracking _me _down. Father knows our only chance is killing it, so you'd better believe he'll keep it in hiding until the great unveiling. He's confident that I'll come crawling back on my own—or that you'll convince me to when we can't find the ayakashi in time before the blight becomes fatal. He's the only one who can reverse it if we can't kill the thing."

"We'll find it," Bishamon said firmly.

"We can help too," Kofuku added.

Yato shook his head. "No, you and Daikoku keep an eye on Hiyori, okay?" His gaze snapped to Hiyori's face, eyes shining with intensity. "And you be careful. If you so much as glimpse my father, call me right away, okay? And Kofuku can get you back to Takamagahara quickly if things get any worse."

Hiyori nodded once and swallowed hard. "Okay," she whispered. Her hands fisted in her skirt, white-knuckled.

"You're so stupid," Yukine said. "You shouldn't have run off on your own like an idiot."

"I think he was already planning this either way, but…" Yato's lips curled into a sheepish sort of smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Yeah, I guess I let my guard down and he snuck up on me. Sorry for messing things up like usual."

Yukine hunched his shoulders. "You'd better be."

"It's okay, kid." Yato's eyes softened to the warm blue of the sky on a sunny day. "You'll be okay."

Yukine was so caught up in all the craziness of the past couple days that it wasn't until after Hiyori had gone home and Bishamon had gone off to search for the ayakashi and Yato's room had been declared off-limits while the god rested that he realized Yato hadn't said 'we'.

* * *

Yukine had already been pacing the hallways around the front door with the ferocity of a caged beast for nearly two hours, so he was the first to pounce on Bishamon when she stepped inside.

"Did you find anything?" he demanded before she'd had the chance to even shut the door.

Hiyori poked her head out of the room a short ways down the hall where she'd found a place to sit while she waited, and hurried out to join them. Yato had retreated to his bed after having another coughing fit a couple hours ago, and Yukine and Hiyori had had nothing to do but wait anxiously for Bishamon's return since then. Poor Hiyori had only just gotten there after school, too. Yato said he didn't mind if they stayed, but Yukine had made the executive decision to leave him in peace while he rested.

Yato might be putting on a good show of wandering around the mansion and bothering Bishamon's shinki, but he lacked his normal spark and moved gingerly and looked more pale and pinched and pained by the minute. And as his coughing spells worsened and the blight crept slowly across his abdomen and ever further, he was spending more and more time curled under the covers with a glazed-over expression as he halfheartedly tried to keep up with a conversation to reassure Yukine and Hiyori.

Well, they were not reassured, and the speed and severity of Yato's decline was alarming. They needed good news and fast.

But Bishamon's lips tightened and she shook her head as she reverted all her shinki and shooed them off. "Nothing," she said. "We've found nothing."

"Even I haven't been able to pick up a single trace," Kazuma said grimly.

"Well, what have you been _doing_?" Yukine asked, throwing his hands up as his frustration bubbled over. "We're running out of time!"

It had already been two days with no results, and more and more of Yato's pale skin was eaten away as it bled purplish-black and crimson. They couldn't send him back to his dad and the horrible fate that awaited him there, but what good was it if they couldn't get rid of the ayakashi that was killing him?

"I'm sure they're doing everything they can," Hiyori said. She kept her voice conciliatory, even though there were new creases lining her face and she looked like she might be about to cry.

"We've found lots of ayakashi, but not the one we're looking for," Bishamon agreed, frustration and hopelessness bleeding into her voice like poison.

"Well, I did warn you that it wouldn't be easy."

Yukine startled and whipped around. Yato moved slowly, gait uneven like a limp as he drifted down the hall towards them. There were sharp hollows smudged with shadow beneath his eyes to denote that his rest had been anything but restful.

"What are you doing out of bed?" Yukine blurted out.

Yato shrugged. "I was bored."

"That's not an excuse! You–"

"How are you feeling?" Hiyori hurried over and reached out for the god, who rocked back half a step.

"Careful," Yato cautioned, even though his jacket was zipped all the way up to his chin and his tracksuit covered almost every inch of his skin besides his face and hands. He was careful to keep the blight hidden when he left his room. And even when he didn't. He was reluctant to even show Yukine and the others when they wanted to check how bad it was, maybe because he didn't want to worry them with how fast it was spreading.

Hiyori ignored the warning and pressed the back of her hand to his forehead. "You're still so hot," she murmured, her lips tugging downwards into a frown.

He twisted away neatly. "I'm fine."

He was met with four pairs of disbelieving eyes, but seemed undeterred. Yukine wanted to know what part of any of this was 'fine'.

"How has he been today?" Bishamon asked, directing the question at Yukine and Hiyori rather than relying on Yato's downplaying and euphemisms.

"He was up and about for a few hours…until he had another coughing fit and went to lie down." Yukine glared over at Yato. "Speaking of which, you should go back to bed."

Yato's face scrunched up. "I'm tired of being cooped up all day. Being an invalid doesn't suit me. Let's do something else."

"Do _what_? You barely have the energy to stand up, much less do anything."

Yukine felt bad about the words as they left his mouth. However good the show Yato tried to put on, he was a shadow of himself. The number of times he had voluntarily retreated to bed with minimal complaint was proof of how horrible he was feeling. But that didn't mean Yukine should rub it in his face.

Yato sighed and his shoulders slumped, an unusually defeated expression falling over his features like a curtain. Yukine winced.

"Well… It's been a long day and we're going to get some dinner," Bishamon offered. "You can come down to the dining room with us if you want."

Yato hesitated for a split second before nodding. "Okay."

Not that he'd had much of an appetite lately—undoubtedly thanks to the blight—but it was some kind of compromise and seemed fairly harmless to Yukine. To be honest, he didn't like seeing Yato curled up in bed all the time either.

Yato pivoted on his heel, executing a neat half-turn and jutting his shoulder up like a shield as he whipped a bit of cloth from his pocket. He coughed into the handkerchief, the sound wet and rattling in his throat. Yukine caught just a glimpse of white folding over red as the handkerchief was shoved back into Yato's pocket and the god turned back with a wan smile.

"Alright," Yato said. "Let's go."

"Absolutely not!" Yukine snapped. "If you're coughing again–"

"Oh, it's fine." Yato flapped a dismissive hand and drifted back down the hall without giving him a second look. "That's nothing."

It might be a smaller coughing fit than the ones that left him gasping and confined to bed with wads of bloodied tissues scattered about, but it was hardly _nothing_. Yato played off such minor occurrences with ease, but they left Yukine shaking and white-fisted.

Bishamon and Kazuma exchanged a look, grim and troubled. They might not be as vocal about their concern as Yukine and Hiyori, but Yato's rapid deterioration was obviously striking some kind of nerve.

Hiyori touched Yukine's arm. "I don't like it any more than you do, but… It's not like lying in bed all day is really any better for him."

Yukine looked away. He didn't want to see her pity or worry, but she was right. Yato was crashing no matter what he did, and the extra time spent under the covers was more a symptom of the problem than a cause or solution.

The truth was that there was _nothing _they could do. At least Bishamon and Kazuma could hunt the ayakashi—not that they were doing a great job of it. Hiyori still had to go to school and eat dinner with her family and do her homework, and the only thing she could do to help was drop by to keep them company while they watched Yato grow weaker. And Yukine couldn't even leave. He could order Yato to stay in bed or make sure he ate something or fetch him anything he needed, but in the end that wasn't going to save him.

His acknowledgment was his silence. He followed Yato quietly, with Hiyori and the others trailing behind. They made it halfway to the dining room before Yato's phone rang, trilling merrily in his pocket. The god stopped in the middle of the hallway, every muscle in his body going rigid.

"Shouldn't you answer that?" Hiyori asked.

"Why?" Yukine asked. "It's not like we can take jobs right now anyway."

The phone rang again, and Yato pulled it out of his pocket and stared down at the screen. "I changed my mind," he said, his voice flat and mechanical. "I think I'll go back to the room after all."

Bishamon frowned. "What?"

Yato changed course and started back for his room with quick, clipped strides that were at odds with the lethargy of moments before. He accepted the call and held the phone to his ear.

"What do you want?"

Yukine had to jog a few paces to catch up. Footsteps clicked on the hardwood behind him, signaling that Hiyori and the others were coming along for the ride.

"I already told you, I'm not interested." Yato's scowl deepened. "No. No way."

He shoved the door open and limped over to the bed. He turned to sit down on the edge, then changed his mind and pulled his feet up to sit cross-legged and glare at the floorboards. Yukine followed him inside, and someone shut the door behind them.

"Is that the sorcerer?" Bishamon asked in a loud whisper.

Yato shot her an irritated look but nodded once. "I'm doing _just fine_, thanks."

"Put it on speaker."

He hesitated, his teeth gathering in his lower lip for a moment before he shrugged and nodded. Yukine was surprised he had agreed to it, knowing how private he was about his dad, but maybe they were all in this together now.

"–be like that," said the tinny voice that slithered through the air. It might be distorted a bit by the phone, but the smarmy, amused tone was unmistakable. "I'm sure the blight must be getting pretty bad by now."

"What do you care?" Yato asked bitterly.

"Aw, of course I care. It's not like I _want _you to be miserable. You're just making things more difficult than they need to be. Don't you think it's time to give up on the games and come back? I'm sure the blight is excruciating."

"Don't sound so broken up about it."

"Look, kid. There's no way you can fix this without killing Yaboku 2. I've seen Bishamon wandering around lately, but she's not going to find it and you're running out of time. I'm sure you've guessed that I can fix it by possessing you again. You know, I spent an awful long time fiddling around and watching Ebisu's experiments to figure out a way to avoid the blight, but it only works when the ayakashi is inside you. No need to drag it out. You're only hurting yourself more, you know.

"Come on out of your hidey-hole—and bring your kid with you. Mizuchi will meet you. You can come on home and we'll fix you right up."

Yato's eyes glinted like ice, cold and hard and sharp. "I would rather die," he said, his voice heavy with finality.

Yukine's breath caught in his throat and his heart did a funny little skip before plopping into his stomach with a nauseating splash. Yato had never sounded more deadly serious than in this moment, so resigned but unyielding. And that wasn't right, because he would always fight tooth and nail to live. He wouldn't really…

"Don't be like that." His dad's pout was almost audible. "I've spent centuries grooming you. It would be a shame to waste all that time and effort."

"Guess you should've thought about that beforehand," Yato said, his voice frosted with a wintry, uncompromising chill.

"Ah, well. Since you're holed up in Takamagahara and refuse to come see me, I guess I could always visit Hiyori or Yukine."

Anger flashed across Yato's face, white-hot, and his hand clenched around the phone. "Don't threaten me."

"I suppose that is a bit rude. I'd prefer if you came back on your own, anyway. You're breaking my heart here, kiddo. Don't you want to come back home? Mizuchi misses you. Just imagine how much more fun it would be with Yukine and Yaboku 2 as well!"

Yato hunched his shoulders and dark hair fell across his face, cloaking his expression. The fingers of his free hand began tapping out an agitated rhythm on his knee.

"I hate you."

Tinny laughter filtered over the line. "You keep telling yourself that. Please, Yaboku. You love me still. I'm the only family you have. I don't like to punish you, you know. If you would just behave, we wouldn't have these problems. Come on, Yaboku. Do me a favor. It'll make me happy, and we can get the family back together again."

The tapping grew faster and faster, until it was beating out a frenetic tempo. "That's not going to work this time," Yato said, but his voice sounded thin and reedy.

Yukine chewed on the inside of his cheek and shot a look at Hiyori, who was too absorbed in the drama to notice. She looked as horrified as he felt. Listening to Yato's dad was sickening.

The sorcerer laughed again. "If it's not working, why are you getting so upset?" Yato's fingers stilled and clenched in the fabric of his pants. "Come quickly, will you? We should get this taken care of as quickly as possible since the heavens are going to become a nuisance now that you opened your mouth."

"No," Yato said quietly.

There was a pause, and his father's voice was cold and cutting when it next split the air, lacking the smarmy charm of before. "You act like you have a choice, but you know you don't. I own you. I created you and I keep you alive. You owe me your existence, and the only purpose of your existence is to obey me. Isn't that right, Yaboku?"

Copper flooded Yukine's mouth as he bit down hard, and his hands strangled themselves white at his sides. How _dare _Yato's father speak to him like that? The blood pounded in his ears and tinged his vision red. Beside him, Hiyori practically vibrated with fury.

Yato didn't say anything for a long moment, but then let out a breath. "Yes, Father," he sighed with all the weary resignation in the world.

Yukine jolted bolt upright and glared at the god's bowed head in disbelief. What the _hell_?

"That's better." The sorcerer's voice relaxed back to smug amusement. "Then come down and meet–"

"I said no."

"…Excuse me?"

"Maybe you're right," Yato said. His fingers plucked at the fabric above his knee listlessly, twisting it tighter and tighter. "But I'm not going to help you this time."

Yukine swallowed hard. What was that supposed to mean? What was he supposed to make of this strange mix of acceptance and defiance? What, exactly, was Yato thinking?

The silence was heavy with anticipation, but then Yato's dad laughed, amused once more. "You think so, huh? In the end, you always do."

"This time is going to be different."

"You say that every time, and you always come around in the end. This time won't be any different than the dozens that have come before it." Could he not hear the heavy solemnity of Yato's decision? The grim resignation dripping off every word like honey gone bitter? "You don't want to die, and soon enough you'll realize that you have no other choice than to come back. I'll see you soon, Yaboku."

The line went dead. The silence was smothering. The phone trembled in Yato's hand as he stared down at it.

"That guy gives me the creeps," Bishamon muttered finally. "He's such a sleazeball."

Yukine did not disagree.

Yato flipped his phone shut and tossed it onto the bedside table with a dull clatter of plastic on wood. He flopped over and curled up facing away from the spectators.

"You should go to dinner," he said. "I'm going to lie down."

Yukine and Hiyori shared a look. They never knew how to handle Yato once his father got involved.

"Yato…" Hiyori drifted a step closer to the bed before thinking better of it. "You shouldn't listen to your dad."

"I know," Yato mumbled, muffling his voice in the blankets.

"You… You don't need him anymore. You have us."

The pause was long and painful, heavy with everything Yato left unspoken.

"Yeah," he said finally. "Just…go. Please."

Hiyori winced and hovered there uncertainly. She was just as reluctant as Yukine to leave him alone right now. Yukine sucked in a breath, but was stopped by fingers curling loosely about his arm. Kazuma shook his head, eyes glinting solemnly behind his glasses.

As much as Yukine hated to admit it, his one-time mentor was probably right. Yato would only shut down even further if they kept pushing him, and he was unlikely to open up about his dad at the best of times much less now.

"I'll bring you something," Yukine mumbled in a grudging sort of acknowledgement.

"Don't bother," Yato said. "I'm not hungry."

"But you should really–"

"But you can bring me some more tissues or something. I ruined another one."

Yukine stared hard at Yato's back, hoping the intensity of his gaze could prod him into turning around and smiling and saying things would be okay, but the god didn't move.

"…Okay."

Yukine retreated with great reluctance when Kazuma steered him back to the hall, Bishamon and Hiyori trailing behind. Yato's voice brought them up short just before the door closed.

"By the way, Hiyori, be extra careful. Now that he's ready for me, he has more incentive to target you. He might not bother since it will amuse him more to wait for me to come crawling back myself, but once he realizes I'm not coming and he's running out of time…"

Hiyori swallowed hard, the lump in her throat bobbing up and down. "Okay. I'll warn Kofuku and Daikoku too. But we'll definitely fix the blight."

"We're going to find that ayakashi soon," Bishamon added. "And get the brush away from the sorcerer. You'll see."

"…Yeah," Yato said tiredly. "Right."

He offered nothing else, and Bishamon shut the door with a faint click.

"You don't think he'll change his mind, do you?" Kazuma asked, leaning closer to Bishamon.

She shrugged. "The sorcerer seems confident he will, but he seems pretty determined."

"I sure hope so." Kazuma's lips slanted in a frown and his brows knit together over troubled eyes. "We can't risk him going back."

_"I would rather die."_

Yukine's gaze raked down the wooden door, desperate to break through and peek into Yato's mind. "He meant it," he croaked. "He's not going to back down."

There was a short pause before Bishamon cleared her throat awkwardly. "Of course not. Still… That was rough. I didn't realize things were so…rocky."

"He always gets kind of weird around his dad," Hiyori said. "But can you blame him? He doesn't talk about it, but…he's been through a lot."

Bishamon opened her mouth, but that was the moment Kuraha turned the corner and eyed them curiously, and whatever she had been going to say was lost. "Anyway, we should go to dinner. Will you come, Hiyori?"

"I should really go before my parents start to worry." Hiyori looked Yukine up and down and bit her lip. "Actually, I can stay for a few minutes."

"It's okay," Yukine said. "You can go."

"…Are you sure?"

"Yeah." As much as he wanted her to stay, she still had her own life to live. He could hold himself together a little longer without someone holding his hand.

"Okay." Hiyori reached out and let her fingers flutter against his arm while she eyed him in concern. The touch, however faint, made Yukine's throat clog up. Yato was the touchy-feely one, the one with no concept of personal space who liked to show his affection with hugs or an arm thrown across their shoulders or a hand slipped into theirs. "We'll figure this out," she said. "I'll be back tomorrow, alright?"

"Okay," he mumbled, dropping his gaze and swallowing down the lump in his throat as he toed at the floorboards.

With Hiyori headed home and Yato holed up in his room, Yukine felt small and alone as he trailed after Bishamon and Kazuma.

"If you ever need to talk, you can always come to me," Kazuma said gently.

"Or what?" Yukine snapped, even though he didn't really want to pick a fight right now. "You'll use your spells to make me?"

"I thought I told you to apologize for that!" Bishamon said. "Those spells are meant for enemy interrogations, not forcing information out of allies and children."

"I did!" Kazuma protested.

Yukine kept his mouth pinched shut. He was on edge and still simmering, but he knew he was being at least a bit unfair. He might not be ready to overlook the betrayals, but Bishamon and Kazuma were trying to help and he needed them. Keeping his mouth shut seemed like the safest option right now.

He stopped by the linen closet to pick out some new handkerchiefs and bits of rag that no one would mourn if ruined, and stuffed them in his pocket before slinking into the dining room to get a plate of food. He was eyed with curiosity and suspicion by the other shinki, who didn't understand his presence or what had happened to Yato. Bishamon had fed everyone the story that he and Yato were sheltering here after being attacked by the sorcerer, but that didn't quite quell the curiosity of those who wanted to know the whole story.

He deflected any subtly prying questions with as much grace as he possessed, which wasn't much at the moment. With his nerves stretched thin, he had snapped at more than one shinki over the past couple days.

Tonight it was Karuha and Kazuha who sat with him and tried to hold a friendly conversation as he picked at his food. He appreciated the effort, but he wasn't in the mood. He could probably sit with Bishamon and Kazuma to ward off unwanted socializing, but he wasn't feeling up to dealing with them either.

The twins grew tired of his surliness after a few minutes and wandered off, leaving him to push his food around his plate in peace. He seemed to have lost his appetite somewhere around the time Yato had lost his sense of self-preservation.

"Not feeling well?"

Kuraha sat down beside him, and Yukine stiffened again. He wasn't sure what to make of the intrusion. Kuraha had never taken a particular interest in him before. He wondered if Bishamon or Kazuma had set him up to it.

"I'm okay," he said.

Kuraha's eyebrow lifted ever so slightly, and his weathered features looked more grandfatherly than gruff. "Your master isn't coming down to join you?"

"Ah… No. He, um, wasn't hungry."

Yukine was a little more wary of this line of questioning. Yato was responsible for both the eyepatch and recent attacks while possessed, and although Kuraha had never shown any particular resentment, it still paid to tread carefully.

"He hasn't looked well," Kuraha said mildly. "Still feeling the attack?"

"He's not doing too great," Yukine's mouth said before his brain caught up. He wanted to shake himself, even though it was something anyone could easily verify if they'd seen Yato hobbling around lately.

"We'll find the sorcerer." Kuraha's gaze drifted around the room, and he was careful to keep his reassurances neutral. Safe. "That won't happen again."

Everyone had been saying that, and Yukine so badly wanted to believe it. "Yeah. Thanks."

"You know, you can take your meal to his room if you want to eat with him. It's not a problem."

Yukine looked back down at his barely touched plate. "He's kind of upset right now," he mumbled to the tabletop. "He wants to be alone."

"Hm… Sometimes it's the ones who want to be alone who need a friend the most."

Yukine smiled at him a little shakily. The words rang true. He didn't like to think of Yato curled up by himself with his father's threats tightening around his throat. Yato was there when Yukine needed him. Yukine wanted to be there for him too.

"You're probably right," he said, feeling a sense of genuine warmth for the older man. They weren't really friends, barely even acquaintances, but something about Kuraha steadied him just a little. "I'll do that."

He took two rolls, hesitated, and stuffed a third into his pocket. Flashing Kuraha a hint of a smile, he put his head down to avoid the stares and hurried from the room and down the hall. He hesitated outside Yato's room for nearly two full minutes as he steeled his nerves, and then knocked on the door.

"Yato? It's me."

There was a pause broken only by the shifting and rustling of blankets, and then Yato said, "You can come in."

He was sitting cross-legged with blankets draped over his lap, watching Yukine push open the door and creep over. His eyes were lined with red, but he summoned up a wan smile.

"I, um, brought you some bread." Yukine offered him the rolls and chewed on his lip, trying to gauge his mood. "I thought maybe it would be easier on your stomach? You should really eat something."

Yato tilted his head and considered the offering before accepting it. He immediately offered one of them back.

"Here, you take one too."

Yukine pulled the third roll from his pocket. "I brought one for me too."

Yato's face lit up with an affectionate sort of pride. "I see you came prepared. Clever kid, you outfoxed me. Come on up."

He patted the bed beside him and leaned over to drop one of the rolls on the nightstand before taking a small bite of the remaining one to placate the shinki. Yukine cautiously clambered up on the bed and inched over to sit by Yato, sinking into the plush covers and soft mattress. He took a bite of his own roll even though he still wasn't hungry.

"I feel so special, getting dinner in bed," Yato said with a flash of a smile.

"You're such an idiot," Yukine mumbled.

"So I've been told. So, you been making friends? So many shinki around… I hope you don't find someone you like better than me!"

Yukine debated whether to respond in kind with lighthearted banter or acknowledge the pain and stress lining his master's face, but in the end he didn't have to decide. Yato made a sound like he was clearing his throat and his face screwed up as he hurriedly began fishing around in his pocket. Yukine pulled one of the rags from his own pocket.

"Here."

"Thanks," Yato croaked in a strangled voice.

He snatched the rag, and the partly nibbled roll fell to the rumpled blankets as he pressed the cloth to his mouth and hunched his shoulders. His entire body seemed to convulse as he coughed.

Yukine tried to block out the wet, wheezing sound, but he put his half-eaten roll on the nightstand along with the stack of makeshift handkerchiefs he'd brought. There was nothing he could do but watch as Yato coughed a few more times and wiped his lips. He folded the square over, but not before Yukine glimpsed a small puddle trickling down the creases and dyeing the fabric red.

Yato tossed it into the wastebasket beside the bed, along with the one he pulled from his pocket. Yukine's stomach turned over as his attention was drawn to the pile of crumpled tissues spattered with blood, crimson peeking from between the folds like bloody secrets.

"Yato… Are you okay?"

It was a stupid question, but what else was he supposed to ask? Yato's fingers rose to his chest and fluttered over his heart for a second before he dropped his hand again, a sure sign that Yukine's emotions were getting to him.

"Fine," Yato rasped, voice hoarse.

"About your dad… I–I–"

Yato reached out to wrap his arms around Yukine and pull him close, leaving the shinki sputtering. Yukine wasn't sure if he was supposed to be the one being comforted or the teddy bear Yato needed to hold on to right now.

"Y-Yato?"

Yato buried his face in the crook of Yukine's neck, and his breath fluttered against the tender skin. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

His skin was so hot against Yukine's, like the blight was burning its way out.

"Sorry?" Yukine repeated, his voice rising to a squeak. "For what?"

A pause. A breathy whisper barely loud enough to be heard. "I don't think this is going to end well."

"What do you mean?"

Yato's voice dropped even lower and he tightened his hold. "But you're a tough kid. You'll be okay."

_"I would rather die."_

Yukine didn't ask what he meant this time. He didn't want to know.

He buried his face in Yato's chest and huddled close. If Yato felt his tears, he was kind enough not to say anything.


	5. Nora gets into Yukine's head

**Note: Lol your reviews have been fun to read. Thanks for reading and reviewing ;) And I don't have a strong preference for FFN vs AO3—I kind of use them for different things. Comments are easier to reply to on AO3 so I'm better at keeping up with them, but I like to move them over here to keep everything in one place. I'm still in the process of moving everything over there, on and off, so it's not as caught up. I haven't started moving this one to AO3 yet, so you're getting the exclusive over here lol**

* * *

**Chapter 5**

_(In which Nora gets into Yukine's head and Yato is smiling like it's all okay.)_

* * *

Yukine darted furtive looks in every direction as he snuck along the outside wall of the mansion, and then took off at a quick trot that he realized belatedly would be more suspicious than a normal walk. Still, he didn't slow until he'd reached the outskirts of the property and stepped over to the other side. He was still in Takamagahara so he should be safe enough even outside Bishamon's compound, but it put him on edge anyway and he glanced over his shoulder. A few shinki were dotted about the grounds, chatting and strolling around. Nothing out of the ordinary, everything perfectly mundane.

He didn't spot anything particularly alarming, but he knew looks could be deceiving. He was sure Nora was lurking out here somewhere, prowling the outskirts on the sorcerer's orders.

"I am so stupid," he muttered under his breath.

This was a terrible idea, the mother of all terrible ideas. What good could possibly come of it? He was more likely to get himself captured or killed than anything.

"I'm glad you finally realized."

He jumped about a foot in the air and spun around. Nora regarded him with dark, starless eyes that glimmered briefly with halfhearted amusement before dulling back down.

"Nora!"

"Why are you acting so surprised?" she asked. "You were looking for me, weren't you? Why else would you be out here now?"

Yukine opened his mouth to deny the accusation but closed it again with an effort, his teeth clicking and grinding together as he pressed his lips into a tight line. "I need your help," he managed through gritted teeth.

One eyebrow arched high on her forehead. "Oh? Are you and Yato finally ready to turn yourselves over?"

"Of course not!" he said hotly.

"Then I can't do anything for you."

Yukine took a deep breath, held it in for the count of ten, and pushed it out through barely parted lips. He didn't know what he was really expecting from Nora. She would as soon feed him to an ayakashi as offer him a helping hand.

But he was desperate, and there was one teeny tiny thing that gave him the slightest sliver of hope that she might relent.

"I need you to tell me where the ayakashi is," he said.

"I can't do that."

"Yato is dying!" he burst out. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides to quell their trembling and glowered at the other shinki. "He's coughing up blood and the blight is spreading all over and he's in so much pain that it's a struggle just to get out of bed. You care about him, don't you? You don't want him to die. You think his dad went too far this time, right? You have to help him."

A painful spark of hope fluttered in his chest like a butterfly with razor-sharp wings beating at his ribcage. There was nothing he could do for Yato now but this. Standing back and watching his master wither away was a slow death of the heart, and helplessness was the most excruciating feeling of them all.

His desperation to do something—_anything_—was the only thing that could have driven him here. And what had driven him into _Nora's _arms and thrown him against her mercy was that however screwed up she was, however twisted her affections, she cared about Yato in her own strange way. He remembered the look in her eyes when she had said their dad went too far, the mute disagreement burning black behind a veil of obedience. He remembered the look on her face, carefully concealed behind a blank façade, as she watched the ayakashi jerk Yato around like a puppet on a string.

She was the sorcerer's pawn and untrustworthy through and through, but Yukine was hoping things had gone far enough that she might side with Yato this time.

She pursed her lips and her eyes glimmered like polished obsidian as she half-turned away from him. "I can't tell you where the ayakashi is."

Yukine's heart sank like a stone, and a heavy, nauseating weight sloshed in his stomach. Of course. He was foolish to think that Nora would side with them after everything.

"Then do _something_," he pleaded anyway, hating the desperation dripping from every word. He hated to _beg_, but what other option did he have? "Can't you do anything? He's _dying_."

The words slapped him hard across the face as they left his mouth, as if he was truly comprehending them for the first time. Despite all the hopelessness and worry and fear, he realized that he still hadn't quite believed Yato might actually _die_.

"He's dying," he repeated in a small voice.

The silence was deafening, but then Nora's breath escaped her lips in a soft, almost inaudible puff. "I can't," she said. "Father always gets his way. He can save Yato, but only if he comes back."

"But it's too cruel to–"

"I guess it's up to Yato to decide how much life is worth to him—if it's worth an ayakashi taking it over in order for him to keep any little bit of it at all." Her eyes traced loops on the ground. "He won't be himself, but he also won't be dead. You would have to decide if it's worth it. But he would live and, theoretically, if you were still looking for a way to free him, you would buy some time. It depends on if you're ready to give up or you want to keep fighting."

"Of course I want to keep fighting," Yukine snapped, stung. "But to hand him back over to his dad is…"

Nora shrugged. "You thought it would be easy? Black and white? You're still so young, naïve. Sometimes it takes hard choices to win a war."

Yukine opened his mouth, closed it again. Handing Yato back over to his dad would be unimaginably cruel. Yukine wanted to save him, but at what cost? Could he really justify sacrificing dozens of lives and turning Yato into a slave to keep him alive? And even if he did, what if he never found a way to free his master?

He shook his head. In the end, he knew it didn't matter.

"He won't do it," he said. "He said that he would rather die than go back, and he meant it. He would never agree."

Nora looked up then, piercing gaze peeling back his ribcage and scouring his heart. "Then convince him."

* * *

Nora's words burrowed deep into Yukine's brain and played on a loop in the back of his mind. He had never really considered convincing Yato to go back to his dad. For obvious reasons. Being possessed by an ayakashi might be a fate worse than death, and the risk posed to the world at large would be astronomical.

Still…

Yukine hadn't made a final decision and he knew it would be a terrible plan steeped in catastrophe, but for the first time it was on the table. Even considering it was an uncomfortable itch on his conscience, like he was betraying Yato just by pondering the possibility, but just thinking couldn't do any harm, right?

"I think we should do something," he blurted out before he thought better of it.

Yato fell silent, his mouth frozen mid-word, and Yukine flushed as he realized he hadn't heard a word the god had said in ages. Probably not since Kofuku and Daikoku had left again. Yato had been rambling about something or other while they waited for Hiyori to get out of school and Bishamon to give up on ayakashi hunting for the day, but Yukine had been so busy fighting his own thoughts and worrying over the fact that Yato hadn't even tried to get out of bed today that he had barely noticed.

He picked at his sleeve and straightened in the chair he'd dragged over to the bedside. Yato refolded his legs beneath the covers and brightened considerably.

"Like a game?" he suggested. "Ooh, we could–"

"No, I mean… Like, do something to take care of the whole blight problem."

Yukine still wasn't sure of this course of action, but he couldn't stand to sit here and pretend everything was okay for another minute. Yato was ashen and feverish, with dull eyes smudged with shadows like bruises and a semi-permanent crease of pain between his brows that took obvious effort to smooth away when he smiled. How could he still joke around and ignore the issue like nothing was wrong? That wasn't right.

Now his smile faltered a little. "Bishamon and Kazuma are out searching. We just have to wait for them."

"They're getting nowhere," Yukine said dismissively. "We can't keep relying on them. _We _should do something about it."

Yato sighed and slouched over, his shoulders hunching around his ears. "We can't leave," he said as he plucked listlessly at the blanket stretched across his lap. "Father would be all over us the instant we set foot outside of Takamagahara."

"Have you…? Have you thought about doing it?"

"The risk of getting caught is too high. It's not worth–"

"I mean, have you thought about…?" Yukine swallowed convulsively and licked his chapped lips. "Have you thought about just going back with your dad?"

Yato went so still that he seemed frozen in time, and the disbelief shining in his eyes bordered on betrayal. "_What?_"

Yukine winced, but he didn't know how to soften that particular inquiry. It seemed unbearably ugly no matter how he looked at it.

"I just mean… If we can't kill the ayakashi in time, have you thought about maybe letting your dad save you?"

"Of course not," Yato said. The sharpness of his gaze could cut diamond, and he regarded Yukine with a coolness the shinki was unfamiliar with.

"Just…" Yukine's swallow rasped along his dry throat. "I mean, it would be horrible, but… At least we could buy some time to find another way?"

His voice grew smaller and smaller and ended in question, and the defensive fire in Yato's eyes faded.

"It's not worth it," the god said more gently. "He can do too much damage, even in a short time. And I… I don't want to go back. Not again. Not to this."

"It doesn't even have to be that," Yukine mumbled. "Just… Can't we do _something_?"

"We can't leave. We'll just have to wait for Bishamon."

"But you don't even think she's going to find it. You said so from the beginning. If we want to fix this, we need to do it ourselves."

Yato looked so tired slumped over on the bed, so resigned. "There's nothing else we can do right now."

Yukine stared, disbelief bubbling up in his chest and etching his throat with acid. He didn't understand. Yato had always had so much fire, had always fought tooth and nail to win. To _live_. The Yato of the past few days was painfully unfamiliar, and no amount of halfhearted teasing and joking could eclipse that.

And suddenly, Yukine was angry. That disbelief burned like fire, scorching him from the inside out.

"You're just going to do _nothing_?" he demanded. "You're just going to sit back and _die_?"

Yato winced. "Yuki–"

"You're just giving up?" A flash of understanding struck Yukine like lightning, and he gawked at the wilted god. "You _already _gave up. You gave up from the very beginning. You haven't done anything ever since we found you."

Yato's face was pinched tight, and his eyes dulled to the murkiness of unpolished sapphire. "I–"

"You're so selfish!" Yukine seethed. "What are Hiyori and I going to do, huh? Have you even thought about that?"

Yato's shoulders hunched under the weight of the world. "You'll be okay."

Yukine couldn't deny that he had hit and otherwise maimed Yato many times over the year they had known each other. He was easily fed up with the god's antics, and Yato deserved to be pushed around sometimes. But now he wanted to hit the idiot like he never had before, hit and hit and hit until he couldn't lift his fists anymore. Hit him until there was nothing left and the whirlwind of broken glass swirling inside his chest died back down to a lull.

Because what the hell was that supposed to mean? What made Yato think that Yukine and Hiyori would just be _okay_?

Yukine couldn't hit Yato now, not when he was fast succumbing to his injuries, but he could do the next best thing.

"I hate you!" he yelled. Everything was red and hot and _hurt_. "How dare you? I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

He could have kept going forever, but that was when the door flew open behind him. He was so caught up in the storm that he barely registered Bishamon trying to calm him down. When she tried to take his arm, he jerked away and stormed back out of the room.

"If he wants to kill himself, then let him kill himself," he spat. "See if I care." He paused and looked back at Yato, small and lost and listless hunched over in the bed. The whirlwind of rage calmed to something sharp and bittersweet. "See if I care," he repeated more quietly.

He didn't stick around to see how deeply the words had cut. Leaving Bishamon to deal with Yato, he pushed past Kuraha and Kazuma lingering in the doorway and stomped off down the hall. He got a few wide-eyed looks from shinki dotted around the hallway and wondered exactly how loudly he'd been shouting.

He didn't want to deal with any of it, so he wandered off to lose himself in the maze of hallways and find a dark corner to hide in. His hidey-hole turned out to be a linen closet buried somewhere deep in the heart of the mansion. He crawled inside, curled up in the stacks of folded blankets and sheets, and stewed in his own impotence and Yato's selfishness. He left the door ajar to let in a sliver of light, but the dark was the farthest thing from his mind.

Yato didn't want to be helped, and Yukine was tired of trying to carry him. He didn't want to think about Yato at all. He was tired of thinking about Yato day in and day out, worrying all the time when the god wasn't even going to _try_.

It was a small eternity before the door creaked the rest of the way open and he had to squint against the influx of light. He opened his mouth to chew out whoever had dared disturb his sanctuary, but the words died in his throat as Hiyori's worried face came into view. He wondered how she had found him—if she had searched high and low or someone had monitored his escape and reported back.

"I thought you were in school," he croaked.

"School's out," she said. "Yato called and said I should find you because you were upset."

"I'm _angry_," he muttered, wondering what the hell Yato thought he was doing.

Hiyori hesitated, chewing on her lower lip, but then sat down with her back to the wall right beside the doorway. Her cord peeked out from behind her as she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

Yukine waited for her to offer any of the many platitudes people were supposed to offer. To tell him that she understood or things were going to be alright or he shouldn't be mad at someone who was dying.

"Why?" she asked instead.

He blinked at her uncertainly and then scowled at the ground again. "Because he won't do anything to help himself and he won't let us help him either. He just _gave up_. He's just, like…waiting to die. He's so selfish and I'm so angry at him."

Hiyori sat there quietly for a few moments and then murmured, "Yeah, me too."

Yukine looked up in surprise, then crawled out of the closet to sit next to her against the wall. "You are?"

"Yeah." She huffed out a shaky laugh. "I'm mad that he ran off on his own and tried to kill his father and isn't coming up with some crazy plan to save himself. How dare he just give up after everything, you know? But he doesn't usually give up, so I have to wonder… I have to wonder what happened to him with his dad that made him decide it wasn't worth it to keep fighting."

Yukine looked at the ground. He didn't want to hear that, even if it had been a suspicion already chewing at the back of his mind. He would rather be angry.

"I can't handle him right now," he muttered.

"I know it's hard. It's been hard on all of us." Hiyori sighed, and Yukine noted the pinched look tightening her features. She looked as pained and worn out as he suspected he did. "All we can do is help out however we can and hope for the best. We aren't giving up." She straightened up a bit and smiled at him. "By the way, Bishamon and Kazuma suggested we go out front for a while. Get some sun and all. Yato seemed pretty excited about it—being cooped up is driving him crazy, I think. We'll stay on the grounds, so it should be fine."

"That's okay. You go."

Hiyori huffed out a breath. "You can't hide in the closet forever."

_Watch me._

"I don't want to deal with him right now."

Hiyori stayed quiet for so long that Yukine wondered why she didn't just leave, but then she said, quietly, "You might not be able to deal with him for much longer." A nauseous feeling sloshed in Yukine's stomach, but she continued on. "We shouldn't avoid him, even when he's being a pain. We should be there to help when an opportunity presents itself. And if it doesn't… If it doesn't, we should be there while we can."

Yukine didn't say anything, but he hunched his shoulders and pulled himself to his feet and followed Hiyori back through the halls and out to the grassy lawn in front of the mansion. It was a beautiful day, just like all days in Takamagahara. Warmer than Earth's winter would suggest, sunny, everything vibrant and colorful. Yukine would have killed for a storm cloud to mar the too-blue sky, or even just a bit of overcast gray to dull it all down. Such nice weather made him want to feel good, and he was feeling anything but good.

Yato was sprawled across the grass on his back, grinning up at Bishamon as she stared down at him, eyes twitching. A few other shinki were enjoying the weather as well, but they didn't wander over. Yukine had snapped at most of them at least once over the past few days, and they were learning to leave him alone.

His footsteps faltered, but Hiyori nudged him with her elbow to encourage him a step or two further. That was the moment Yato noticed them and propped himself up on his elbows to grin in their direction. He shifted his weight to one arm in order to wave enthusiastically, and nearly lost his balance and toppled over.

"Heeey!" he called. "Look who it is! Now that you're done playing hide and seek, let's have a picnic! It's such a nice day, isn't it? Been way too long since we've had some fresh air."

Yukine drew to a stop. Yato still looked like death warmed over, but there was a little more color to his face, like the fresh air really was doing him some good. Was that enough to erase everything from earlier?

Of course not.

Yato's eyes were still ringed with shadow, murky and closed-off. If eyes were the windows to the soul, Yato's were closed and covered with blackout curtains. The pain was well-hidden beneath the smile, but it lined his face despite his best efforts. He was a mess.

But he was going to laze around and pretend that everything was okay? He was going to ignore Yukine's behavior and his own pain and impending _death_ to carry on like nothing was happening? Yukine was so _tired _of it. The only thing Yato hadn't given up on was acting like everything was normal. Who did he think he was fooling? Himself?

"Forget it," Yukine growled. He spun on his heel and marched off to sulk on the opposite side of the lawn.

"Yukineee!" Yato wailed after him. "Where are you going? Let's have a picnic and play games!"

Yukine wanted to do no such thing, and shrugged off Hiyori when she tried to protest. Yato called her and she reluctantly headed over after giving the shinki one last look. No one came after him, so someone must have an idea that he would rather be left alone.

He did his very best to ignore Yato entirely, but still found himself darting looks in his direction more often than he'd like. Occasionally he caught Hiyori looking back, worried and unhappy. Whenever Yato caught him looking, he just grinned and waved and yelled for him to come over.

Yukine ignored that, but watched through sidelong glances and quick peeks as Yato picked himself up off the ground and made a nuisance of himself. And if he seemed a little too sluggish and not quite as active as usual, who could blame him?

Because Yukine was watching from afar, he caught the moment when everything fell apart.

The smile froze on Yato's face and his eyes went glassy. He stopped mid-word, freezing in place and teetering on the edge of a step not taken. And then he pitched forward. Someone screamed as he hit the ground, but Yukine stood rooted to the spot. He watched in horrified fascination as the god's body spasmed and a pool of crimson clotted the grass and crept ever further like spilled ink.

It was surreal, like it was happening to someone else, and everything had a muffled sort of quality like it was playing out underwater or on a movie screen.

And then reality crashed down over him like a tsunami, and suddenly the noises were loud and blaring and everything was knife-sharp in its clarity. It was all so _much_, so totally overwhelming, but Yukine's shock quickly bled into cold panic. He took off at full speed as Hiyori and Bishamon crowded around the convulsing god, followed by a ring of alarmed shinki.

"What do we do? What do we do?" Hiyori repeated in a high-pitched voice as she hovered over their friend, white-faced and wide-eyed. "Yato? Yato?"

Yukine dropped to his knees in the grass and grabbed Yato's shoulder to flip him over. He changed his mind as the god promptly began choking on his own blood, and shoved him onto his side instead. Yato's eyes were vacant, and red smeared his pale skin. He shook like a leaf and curled up partway as the coughs racked his body.

"Yato!" Yukine said, voice sharp with fear.

Yato didn't respond. He jerked again, and Yukine pulled his hand away. His fingers grazed feverish skin, and fire exploded across his hand.

He scrambled back with a sharp intake of breath and looked down at his hand. Purplish-black stained his fingers, slowly spreading up his hand. His heart jumped into his throat as he looked back at Yato.

Blight was creeping out from under Yato's collar, staining his neck and creeping along his jaw, and poking out from beneath the cuff of his sleeve to eat away at the back of his right hand.

"What _happened_?" Aiha demanded, backing up a few steps.

So much for hiding Yato's condition. The first time they took him outside, he collapsed in front of everyone. Figured. That was Yato—always causing problems. A hysterical laugh bubbled in Yukine's chest, but it stuck in his throat before hitting the air.

"Kazuma!" Bishamon called, looking around. "Where is he?"

Kuraha didn't wait around for Kazuma to make an appearance. He bent over and scooped Yato up, holding the thrashing god tight.

"Be careful of the blight," Bishamon warned.

He gave her a flat look and strode quickly across the lawn. Yukine scrambled after him, and Hiyori was even faster in her desperation. Bishamon waved off the crowd of worried shinki without even an attempt to be reassuring as she rushed after them.

Yato convulsed once more and went limp. His eyes slid shut, and his breathing was shallow and quick. Blood dribbled down his chin, but at least he wasn't coughing it up anymore. Not that there was much left to cough up, if the crimson puddle soaking into the ground behind them was any indication.

Yukine trotted alongside Kuraha to poke at Yato and ask shrill questions, but Yato was well and truly unconscious despite his and Hiyori's best efforts.

"His room," Bishamon was saying to Kuraha. "Just take him to his room for now. There's not much else we can do. If only we still had a doctor… Where is Kazuma?"

When Kuraha shouldered his way into the spare room and put Yato down on the bed, the god didn't move. He was so still and lifeless, and the smeared blood and blight only added to the aura of death.

"You should go," Bishamon said tightly.

Yukine shook himself out of his stupor to draw himself up to his full height and glare at her. "No way! You can't make me!"

"The blight. You need to cleanse the blight."

He looked down at the blight creeping along his hand. It stung, but it was nothing compared to what Yato was enduring. How could Yukine just leave, even for a few minutes? What if he left and Yato _died_?

"Later," he said.

Bishamon blew out a breath and softened her voice with obvious effort. "You need to take care of it before it gets worse. Kuraha will go with you."

Yukine shot a sidelong look at Kuraha, who had managed to get blight on his hands as well.

"I don't know…"

"I'll stay," Hiyori said in a thick voice, unable to pull her gaze from Yato even long enough to look at him. "He's not going to be left alone."

"He'll still be here when you come back," Bishamon added.

Yukine hesitated, but Kuraha ushered him towards the door.

"Come on," he said. "We'll only be a minute."

"If you see Kazuma, tell him what happened," Bishamon said absently as she leaned over the bed to get a closer look at Yato. "Maybe we'd better tell Kofuku and Daikoku as well."

Yukine got one last glimpse of Yato's unmoving body before being herded out the door, and it left him in a cold sweat. What if this was _it_?

He rushed down the hall, begrudging every step that took him farther away and every second that dared drag between them.

"What, exactly, is wrong with your master?" Kuraha asked as he cut Yukine off from hurrying down the wrong hallway and redirected him in the proper direction to get to the spring. "I'm guessing there's a pressing reason why we're searching for this ayakashi."

"They're still connected," Yukine said. "It has to be killed or it will keep blighting him. We just don't want anyone else to know about the possession or how bad it's getting. It's been going on for days and he won't _do _anything about it, just jokes around and _smiles _as if everything is normal, and I _hate _him for it."

He choked out a strangled laugh and rushed to splash purification water over his blight. "He's dying and I _hate _him for it."

Kuraha was quiet as he bathed his blight in the water, and Yukine put his shields back up to deflect the questions he wasn't going to answer.

"No," Kuraha said finally, "you don't hate him. You're scared, that's all."

Yukine opened his mouth to protest, but then snapped it shut again and looked down at his hands. Water dripped off his fingers, and his skin was pale and unblemished again. Like magic. Why wouldn't it work for Yato?

"I told him that I hated him," he said in a small voice.

A damp hand rested heavily on his shoulder, and Kuraha's grizzled features softened. "When you're afraid of heights, you climb. When you're afraid of drowning, you learn how to swim. Sometimes you just have to face your fears."

"But I don't know how," Yukine mumbled.

"You'll figure it out," Kuraha said. "In the meantime… Have you considered that your master is afraid too?"

Yukine scoffed. "Yato? Yato doesn't get _scared_."

"Everyone gets scared. He hasn't been acting _differently _lately?"

Yukine opened his mouth to say that if anything, Yato was acting too much the same, but he remembered the terrified look in the god's eyes as he stared at his father and the ayakashi across the borderline. The way he seemed to be giving up when he would normally fight to the last breath.

"He…"

"Perhaps," Kuraha said as he steered Yukine back down the hallway, "pretending everything is normal is his way of avoiding facing his fear, like anger is yours."

Yukine had nothing to say to that. He wondered what else was lurking behind Yato's pained smile and murky eyes.

"I don't want him to die," he whispered.

Kuraha smiled a little sadly. "Neither does he."

* * *

Kazuma had arrived by the time they returned. He and Bishamon seemed to be throwing together plans for what they should do next.

"…and in the meantime, we'll just have to tell the others that the sorcerer's attack did more damage than we thought," Bishamon was saying. "Everyone knows about his strange ayakashi by now—maybe it won't be too unbelievable that they're having more devastating effects on gods. The ones who know about the possession will put the pieces together, but we don't have to spread it around to those who don't."

"Yes." Kazuma stayed quiet for a moment, lips pressed together as he frowned down at Yato. "We're running out of time."

The hopeless finality in his voice could have knocked Yukine to his knees.

"We'll figure it out," Bishamon reassured him, but her face was tight.

Yukine pulled up a chair beside Hiyori, who was curled up by the bedside. They sat in silent vigil as Kuraha was ushered out and Bishamon and Kazuma swapped half-baked schemes and speculations. There was nothing to say when they shared the same thoughts and fears.

They sat like that until Bishamon reminded Hiyori that it was well after dark in the lower realm, and even then she was reluctant to go.

"I hate always having to leave," Hiyori croaked.

For the first time, Yukine understood. He had thought Hiyori had it all, living two lives side by side with all the perks that came with them. But at the end of the day, she had to choose one or the other and she couldn't always pick the one she wanted. At least Yukine could stay without worrying about another life that needed tending. Hiyori had another world. Yukine had Yato.

"Call me if anything happens," she added. "Or if he wakes up."

"Of course," Yukine mumbled. "I'll stay with him."

And he did. Even when Bishamon tried to convince him to get some sleep while someone else took a turn sitting vigil, he stayed curled up in the chair by Yato's side, waiting for any sign that things would be okay.


	6. Yukine wavers at the crossroads

.

**Chapter 6**

_(In which Yukine eavesdrops, comes up with a plan that no one but Nora will entertain, and wavers at the crossroads.)_

* * *

Yukine woke slowly, to the feeling of fingers carding rhythmically through his hair. He was groggy enough to think it felt nice, even if he seemed to be hunched over uncomfortably with his cheek smushed into the mattress.

"…should probably give you all that," Yato was saying, his voice a little muffled past Yukine's bleariness and the blanket covering one ear. "No point hiding it anymore, I guess. You'll need to know everything about him. There won't be any reason not to kill him once I'm gone, anyway."

That took a second to pierce through Yukine's daze, but then his breath caught in his throat. He stayed still, hardly daring to breathe as he listened in.

"I suppose…" Bishamon mumbled. "But…later."

"What are you waiting for? There's not going to be much _later _left, you know."

There was a long pause before Bishamon said, "You've been awfully calm about this whole thing."

"Everyone dies eventually," Yato said dismissively. "Even gods. I've lived for a long time. It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"That doesn't mean you have to be so _resigned _about it. You've always fought so hard before. Why are you just accepting it now? Aren't you upset?"

"What's the point in getting upset over it?" Yato asked. A pause, and then his fingers tightened in Yukine's hair and his voice hardened. "You know what? I _am _upset. I'm _furious_. You have no idea of everything I've done and all the wars I've fought to make it this far, and he's just going to take me out on a whim? And like _this_? It's not _fair_. I don't want to die. Not now. Not like this. Yeah, I am upset.

"But…" The fire faded from his voice, leaving his next words heavy and exhausted and weary. He resumed petting Yukine, but it wasn't comforting anymore. "What's the point in kicking up a fuss about it now? There's nothing I can do, and the kids are already upset enough without me falling apart."

Tears burned hot behind eyelids squeezed shut, and it cost Yukine dearly to stay motionless when his chest was clamping viselike around his heart. He remembered the bittersweet smile on Kuraha's face when Yukine said he didn't want Yato to die.

_"Neither does he."_

Of course he didn't. Of course he was upset. Yukine _knew _that. That was why he hated Yato pretending everything was okay when it obviously wasn't. But maybe Kuraha was right again, and it was his way of avoiding the truth. Of trying to protect Yukine and Hiyori with the added bonus of not dwelling on how afraid he was to die.

Yato might have given up, but it couldn't be because he was okay with dying or didn't _want _to fight. He would surely be fighting right now if he hadn't been shaken to the core by whatever his dad had done.

"Yato," Bishamon said, her voice thick, "I–"

The fingers stilled in Yukine's hair again, and he could _feel _Yato looking down at him. Yato's gaze was like a physical thing, startling in its intensity and sharper than glass, and Yukine could feel it even if he couldn't see it.

Bishamon had paused, but now asked, "Is he waking up?"

"…I don't know. Maybe. I thought I felt something. But maybe I'm imagining it. It's getting harder. I can barely feel him anymore."

Yukine did his best to smooth out his expression and even his breathing, even though his heart was a jackhammer against his ribcage. What was that supposed to mean? He really shouldn't eavesdrop, but Yato wasn't this open with him and he needed to _know_.

"What do you mean?" Bishamon asked.

Yato was quiet for a minute before saying, "I'm used to feeling his emotions so strongly, but the blight is so bad that I can barely feel him. I can't tell if he's upset or it's just the blight eating at me. It hurts too much to feel his pain past it anymore. I can see it in his face, but I don't feel it the way I used to." He resumed stroking Yukine's hair. "It's lonely."

Yukine swallowed past the lump constricting his throat and pressed his trembling lips together.

"That's…" Bishamon blew out a breath and sounded uncharacteristically subdued. "He's not going to take it well when you…"

"You'll take care of him for me, won't you? You and Kofuku can figure something out."

Her laugh was more resigned than amused. "Yeah, I'm sure that would go over well. He wants nothing to do with me or Kazuma. We're probably the last people he'll want to see…after."

"It's not like he hates you, he's just…super protective sometimes. Like Kazuma. Hafuri, ya know? And since he can't do anything about the real threat, he's taking some of it out on you.

"But… I just need… I need to know he's going to be okay, you know? I'm sure it'll be rough for a while, but he's a good kid. Just look out for him, okay? He'll have Hiyori, but he'll need a new master. Maybe you and Kofuku can work something out with him."

"…I'll do my best."

"Thanks." Yato sounded far too optimistic when he added, "Don't worry, he'll probably forget all about me in a few decades and it won't be a big deal anymore."

_What?_

"_What?_" Bishamon demanded, disbelieving.

"Well, once he's had a new master for a while, he won't need me anymore. It's only been a year. Give it a century and he'll barely remember me. It'll make it easier to move on and all that."

Yukine wasn't sure if he wanted to cry or strangle someone, preferably Yato. Did that idiot really think he would just _forget_? After everything? Maybe it had only been a year, but it had been a _life-changing _year. Yato had saved Yukine, and Yukine had sworn eternal loyalty back. Did Yato really think he was so cheap as to just throw that away at the first chance? There were some things time couldn't erase, and Yato would be one of them.

But that Yato thought it would cut deep. Especially since Yukine knew exactly how afraid he was of being forgotten, how much it hurt him. Did he really think Yukine would be that cruel?

"Are you _stupid_?" Bishamon seethed, genuinely angry. "That shinki, the one you told us about, how long did you know her?" When Yato didn't respond, she continued on as if he had. "And you said she died when you were still a child, so how long has it been since you've seen her? Centuries? But even I can tell you still care. You haven't forgotten her, have you? What makes you think Yukine will forget you so easily?"

_Exactly_, Yukine wanted to say. _How could you think I'd forget?_

Despite his wariness of Bishamon, he was indescribably grateful that she had voiced his thoughts while he was rendered mute.

Yato was quiet for a long time before murmuring, "Maybe it's just wishful thinking. I want to think that he'll be okay, even when I'm gone."

It _hurt_. It was like Yato was disappearing right in front of Yukine, slowly erasing himself well before the blight did him in. He was disappearing behind the crumbling façade of normalcy he stubbornly held up, and Yukine was suddenly afraid that when that front finally came crashing down, he would look behind it and realize that Yato was already gone and had been for some time. Like the blight had already eaten away at his core and left only a hollow shell, and Yato had taken care of the rest in some misguided, self-effacing attempt to protect his friends by withdrawing a little at a time and erasing himself as he went.

Yukine couldn't take it anymore. He sat up, forgetting he was supposed to be asleep, but doubled over again immediately as his cramping muscles and aching back protested the movement. He choked out a hiss of pain, and Bishamon snapped her mouth shut.

"Oh, look who's finally awake!" Yato was grinning again, voice light and upbeat. "That looked pretty uncomfortable! You look terrible."

He pulled his hand away. The back was already purple, and Yukine had the silly thought that he wouldn't be able to touch them much longer. The other hand was already covered in splotchy purple down to the fingertips. The blight had spread further across his face while Yukine slept, dark against the pallor of his skin and feverish brightness of his eyes.

"_I _look terrible?" Yukine croaked as he winced and carefully worked the kinks out of his muscles. "You look _awful_."

Yato pouted. "That's not very nice, Yukine. I'll have you know that I'm a perfect _dreamboat_. And it's all natural, too!"

His reversion to fake sunniness yet _again_ made the anger well up inside Yukine, but it sputtered out as he recalled what it had led him to do last time.

"I'm sorry I said I hated you," he blurted out before his brain caught up to his mouth. The heat rushed to his face.

"Aw, it's alright," Yato said cheerfully. "I think everyone hates me a little bit. Just ask the psycho bitch! She's always telling me how much she can't stand me."

Bishamon cleared her throat and stood up, her gaze fixed on the floor. "I should go," she said. "We still have an ayakashi to find."

She retreated from the room quickly, leaving them their privacy. Yukine noticed that Yato's hand, the one already overrun with blight, was trembling. His fingers twitched as they clutched at the blankets and loosened their hold restlessly. His chest was rising and falling in an erratic, too-fast pattern, and his eyes were a glassy kind of too-bright.

"Stop it," Yukine rasped.

"Sorry, no can do! Everyone is, like, required to hate me a little bit for something. It's natural, like my good looks and general awesomeness."

"No," he snapped. "Stop pretending like everything is okay when it's not. I hate how you do that. It's driving me crazy. You think you're hiding it, but you're _not_. I can't take it anymore. Why can't you just be honest with me for once? Why won't you just tell me the _truth_?"

_Why will you open up to Bishamon but not to me?_

Yukine bit his lip as a frown replaced the smile on Yato's face. The god stared down at his hand twitching in the rumpled blankets.

"The truth…?" Yato repeated. He shook his head and sighed. When he looked up again, he met Yukine's gaze with solemn eyes. "I know it's been hard on you. And the truth is that it's hard on me too. I'm not happy about it either. And I hate having to sit around and wait to die when I would rather be fighting it.

"I know you think I've given up—and you know what, maybe I have, because I don't see any other options at this point—but I would fight until the end if I saw a way. So yeah, I guess I'm going to die pretty soon, and it sucks.

"But you _aren't_." He leaned forward to take Yukine's face in his hands, his sleeves pulled down over the blight. Yukine didn't have the presence of mind to protest. He couldn't look away from the soul-bright intensity of Yato's eyes. "You're going to live. You're going to find a new master to take care of you, and you'll learn to love them too and make a new family.

"But you were mine first. You're mine. Even when you move on and find some other god… You were still mine first. And I will be yours until the end. So I know you're going to be okay, because you're my kid and I'll never give up on you, so you can't possibly give up on yourself. You're going to move on and be happy with someone else, but don't you forget that I loved you first. And I loved you the most."

Yukine swallowed hard past the lump in his throat, and the startling blue of Yato's eyes wavered and blurred behind a bleary film of tears. He pressed his trembling lips together and felt warm tears sliding down his cheeks.

"It's okay," Yato said in the softest voice Yukine had ever heard. "You're going to be okay."

Yukine snuffled and tried to come up with something to say. What was he supposed to say to that? That he loved Yato too and didn't know how to go on without him? That Yato was an idiot and kind of annoying but he was family and Yukine would do anything to keep him?

That Yukine would always, _always _belong to Yato?

"I should call Hiyori," he croaked instead, dropping his gaze. "She wanted to know when you woke up."

He had wanted to hear the truth, but the truth hurt too much.

"Great idea!" Yato said brightly, like nothing had happened at all. He fished his phone out of his pocket and handed it to Yukine. "Here, take it. I'm sure you'll be having more use for it than I will."

Yukine's hand tightened around the hard plastic. He hated the feeling that the phone was being quite literally _bequeathed _to him, like Yato was already passing on his paltry handful of possessions.

He practically ran out of the room. For the first time, he really understood why Yato was wearing that stupid smile again. Why he preferred to overlook the truths they were all painfully aware of. Right now, Yukine couldn't face that either.

He paused for a brief second in the doorway, but Yato was already looking away, frowning down at his trembling, poisoned hands with an air of hopeless defeat. Yukine remembered another time when he had been blighted, when Yukine himself had done the blighting and almost killed him. But Yato had survived in the end, and saved Yukine while he was at it.

Yukine's grief hardened into sharp-edged resolve. If Yato wasn't going to give up on Yukine, Yukine sure as hell wasn't giving up on him. Not even if he had already given up on himself. This time, Yukine would save Yato.

Whatever the cost, whoever might be hurt in the fallout, and however it might betray the person he was trying to protect.

* * *

Hiyori was crying when she shut the door to Yato's room and drifted over to where everyone was huddled in grim silence in Yukine's.

"He's saying goodbye," she said through her tears.

Yeah. Now that he thought about it, Yukine thought that was _exactly _what Yato was doing. Kofuku, still sniffling and scrubbing at her face herself, motioned Hiyori over to sit with her on the bed. Daikoku leaned against the wall a short distance away, arms crossed and brows lowered as he frowned at the ground. He hadn't spoken a word in twenty minutes, not even to Kofuku. Bishamon and Kazuma had claimed the chairs in the corner after they'd returned from another round of ayakashi hunting. They hadn't said much either.

Yukine had been pacing the room like a caged animal from the second he had escaped Yato. He circled the others like a shark scenting blood as he debated how to best win them over to his plot. Yato's cellphone was a hard lump in his pocket.

"We're going to save him," he announced.

Five sets of eyes swung in his direction. Bishamon's and Kazuma's gazes held too much sympathy, like they thought he was just grasping at straws instead of accepting the inevitable. He didn't care if that was what they thought. Daikoku's face didn't show much of anything at all, but Yukine could practically feel him pacing beneath the collected façade, searching for a way out. Kofuku burst into tears again, but she had been doing that on and off ever since talking to Yato earlier.

"Yukine," Bishamon said carefully, "you–"

"How?" Hiyori asked simply, swiping the back of her hand across her eyes and meeting his gaze steadily despite the film of tears separating them.

Yukine loved that about her, how she could grasp the smallest hope in the most desperate situation and pull together her determination to give it one last shot. How she would take him seriously, even when he said crazy things.

But he took a deep breath anyway, because it would still be an uphill battle to convince everyone else and even she would have a hard time swallowing this.

"We're obviously not going to find the ayakashi in time," he said.

A downright mutinous look settled over Bishamon's features. "Look, we're _trying_. We can still–"

"Yeah, I know, but Yato's dad is doing too good of a job hiding it. You aren't getting anywhere. You don't even have any leads, do you?"

She settled back in her chair and frowned at the floor

"Nothing," Kazuma sighed. Yukine wondered when that permanent, troubled crease had appeared on his forehead. "We've got nothing. And we're out of time. He has a day, maybe two at most."

Yukine shivered at the icy finger running down his spine and went back to pacing. It was one thing to know Yato was dying, and another to hear such a short timeframe tagged onto his life like a fast-approaching expiration date.

"It's progressed too far," Bishamon said quietly, her eyes dull. "We don't have time to pull off miracles anymore."

Yukine shook off her negativity and dismal pragmatism. "There's still _one _thing we can do."

He paused, partly for dramatic effect but mostly because all his restless scheming still hadn't shown him a good way to present this idea. He readied himself to bite the bullet and opened his mouth again, but Kofuku's eyes widened suddenly.

"The _sorcerer_?" she asked.

"Yeah."

All the air in the room congealed at once, thick with shock and dissension.

"Absolutely not," Bishamon said sharply. "It's much too dangerous to go striking deals with him."

"Just hear me out," Yukine said, flapping his hands in an attempt to quell the protests written across every face. "We don't actually have to go along with it, but his dad is the only one who can save him at this point. And he'll need the ayakashi to do it, so if we can get him to bring it with him when he comes to get Yato, we can set up a trap and kill it."

"Too risky. The sorcerer is a master manipulator—he'd be unlikely to fall for such a simple scheme. All we'd be likely to do is hand over Yato so the sorcerer can create a monster out of him."

"Look, I don't like it either!" Yukine snapped, balling his hands into fists at his sides as he glared around the room. "I know it's risky and kind of stupid, but it's the only option we have left. His dad says he can save him, which is better than any of the rest of us can do."

Kazuma pushed his glasses further up the bridge of his nose and studied Yukine. "And you believe him?"

Yukine hesitated for a split second but then nodded firmly. "I do. He's not trustworthy by a longshot, but this is exactly the kind of thing he'd do. He doesn't _really _want Yato dead—he wants a way to keep using him. He created a trap for if Yato somehow managed to escape, but he'd make sure he had a way to reverse the effects. The point of this whole mess is to force Yato to come back, not to kill him. He'll have a way."

Bishamon was already shaking her head. "We can't. It's much too dangerous. As much as I'd love to set a trap for the sorcerer to lure him out of hiding and take him out… The cost of failure is too high."

Kazuma nodded in agreement, but his eyes were murky and his lips tight. "It will be much harder to kill the ayakashi if it gets its claws into Yato again, and Yato himself will be exceedingly dangerous. People will die. Gods could die. It would throw everything into chaos, and we would have to kill him before he killed us."

Yukine glared. He didn't want to hear that.

"Yukki…" Kofuku slumped over and stared at the ground. "I want to save Yato-chan too, but to hand him over to the sorcerer to be taken over by an ayakashi… It's too horrible. And dangerous. Yato-chan is a very powerful god, even if it doesn't always seem like it. A dangerous god. And they'd go after you too. If Yato summons you while possessed… We would all be in trouble."

Daikoku nodded almost imperceptibly but didn't look up. Kofuku sniffled loudly. Bishamon and Kazuma avoided Yukine's gaze. They all seemed so _upset _about the situation, so why wouldn't they _do _anything about it?

He appealed to Hiyori instead, because surely she understood.

"We have to do _something_," he said.

She swallowed hard and stared down at her hands folded neatly in her lap. "I would do anything," she said. "But everyone else is right too. If we worked off that idea, we'd have to be very careful, and it would be very risky. But also… Yato would never agree."

"Yato will be dead in a day or two, so his opinion doesn't count for much," Yukine said harshly.

Hiyori flinched and somehow deflated even more, and he almost—_almost_—felt bad for snapping at her.

"Maybe," she said. "But it would be even harder to make it work if he's not cooperating. And to be honest… He was so upset, Yukine. He didn't really talk about it, but he's really shaken up. I just… I don't want to send him back to that. He said he would rather _die_, and I've never seen him like that before. If we mess up, we're leaving him at his father's mercy again after he fought so hard to escape. I don't know that we should risk that."

Yukine couldn't accept that she was right, because that meant they were out of options with nowhere left to go.

"The other option is that he _dies_."

She hunched her shoulders about her ears. "I know. I'm not saying that we shouldn't try, just that we need to think this through and be careful about–"

"_Fine_," Yukine snapped. "Forget it."

He didn't want to hear her excuses. If she wasn't going to help, then he would do it on his own.

"Yukine," Hiyori protested, "I don't–"

He turned on his heel and marched out of the room. He'd heard enough. Maybe he should stay and work harder to convince them, but they'd already wasted too much time talking and everything they had to say was too painful.

Hiyori and Kofuku called after him, but no one followed. Just as well that they thought they should give him space, although not because he was going off to sulk like they thought.

He had to fend off Kuraha's concern in the hall and it was harder to sneak away while all the shinki were watching him and whispering behind their hands, but he left them to their speculations and hid in the shadows. Luckily, there weren't as many people outside to avoid. He crept around the side of the mansion and hurried out to the edge of the property.

"Nora!" he called in a loud whisper. "Nora!"

"Did you convince him?"

He started and immediately kicked himself for being startled every time, even when he was specifically looking for her. He turned around with as much dignity as he could muster. Nora's face was devoid of emotion, but he was convinced there was something simmering underneath that blank mask of hers.

"No," he said. "He won't do it. But he already collapsed and the blight is everywhere and he doesn't have much time left. I don't see another way, so…"

Nora's eyebrows jumped up her forehead and disappeared beneath her bangs. "You're betraying your master? I didn't think you had it in you."

Yukine bristled at the thinly veiled amusement lurking in the twist of her lips. And, perhaps, in reaction to his own discomfort. Even now, guilt wriggled in his stomach like a living thing. He wondered if Yato could feel it.

"He's dying," he snapped. "If the only way to save him is by betraying him, then so be it. Do _you _want him to die?"

The half-smile slid off Nora's face like water down a windowpane and vanished. "How are you going to get him to us if he's not cooperating?"

"I don't know yet. I'll figure it out." To be honest, Yukine had no idea how he was going to manage that. And imagining the look on Yato's face was already haunting him. "But before that, I have conditions."

"Conditions," Nora repeated tonelessly. "What makes you think you're in any position to set conditions?"

"We're at a stalemate. You don't want Yato dead, and neither does your dad. Can't use him if he's dead. And he's not going to come on his own, so the only way you'll get him is through me."

True or not, it was as much a bluff as anything and he held his breath for her response. He didn't know how much bargaining power he really had, but he was as much at a disadvantage as Nora and the sorcerer. Yato had one foot over death's doorstep, and they didn't have much time to fight over who got what piece of him and at what cost.

"What _conditions_?" Nora asked, her face giving nothing away.

"Your dad _has _to save him."

She flicked her hand dismissively. "Isn't that the point?"

"Promise."

Yukine wasn't stupid. He didn't _trust _them. Even if he was fairly confident that they needed Yato alive, it didn't hurt to make sure.

Nora sighed and looked at him like he was being particularly stupid. "Promise."

"Good. And I'll probably have to go to the hand-off to make sure it goes right and he doesn't mess it up, but I can't do that if you guys are just going to use that to capture me. I need a guarantee of that."

Nora's brows drew together thoughtfully as she turned that over. "I can probably do that," she said after a pause. "Not _forever_, but a one-time pass. Getting Yato is more time-sensitive, and we can use him whether or not we have you. He's more important. And once we have him, I'm sure Father will realize it will be much easier to get you. You'll come after him sooner or later."

"I won't…" Yukine trailed off, mashing his lips together and glaring at the ground to avoid her knowing gaze.

That was another weak point in this plan, and of course Nora would pick up on it right away. Yukine wouldn't be able to hide in Takamagahara forever, knowing he had handed Yato back to his dad. He would do his best to save his master, and already _had _walked into a trap once in his desperation to get at Yato. Of course they would expect him to come out of hiding on his own once they had Yato.

But if things went well, he could kill the ayakashi before any of that became necessary.

He chose to swallow his protests. "And you have to bring the ayakashi to the meeting."

Nora's eyebrows crept higher again. "I can't promise that. I'm not sure Father would agree to it. It would be too easy to set a _trap_."

"Who said anything about a trap?" Yukine said a little too quickly. Nora leveled an unimpressed look at him, and he scrabbled for an alternate explanation. "I just, um, want to be sure that you guys will fix him right away. I want to see that he's okay."

That was genuine enough. He'd feel much better actually seeing Yato saved rather than just trusting that his dad would do it. Even better, he'd prefer to kill the ayakashi and save Yato himself.

Nora's expression didn't change. "Uh-huh. Well, you can rest assured that Yato will live if you bring him back to us."

"But–"

"I can promise that you will have safe passage during the transfer—although not at any time after—but I can't promise anything about bringing the ayakashi. I'll ask Father, but I can't guarantee that he'll agree."

"But–"

"Bring him down from Takamagahara when you're ready. I'll be watching, so we'll know when and where you'll be. But don't wait too long. It sounds like Yato doesn't have much longer left."

Yukine opened his mouth, but Nora turned without another word and walked off. He chased after her, but she ducked behind a tree and seemed to vanish into thin air. He didn't understand how she always did that.

He stood there for a long time, staring at empty air and searching the depths of his soul as he wavered at the crossroads.


	7. It's time to talk about the sorcerer

**Note: Lol yes, the communication issues are strong with this one. Crazy how much simpler everything would be if people learned how to just talk to each other XD**

* * *

**Chapter 7**

_(In which Yato's condition turns critical and it's time to talk about the sorcerer.)_

* * *

Yukine couldn't turn his mind off as he paced around and around his borrowed room. All he could think about was Yato and Nora and his half-formed plan to betray his master. He didn't think he could handle the guilt without cracking if he actually saw any of his friends—and especially not Yato—and had locked himself in his room without speaking to anyone. He could explain it away as still being upset with everyone about not wanting to do anything to save Yato. They'd believe it, given his earlier outburst, and it was hardly an untruth.

He had less of a good reason to avoid Yato, but he somehow didn't think the god would be surprised. It wasn't, he reflected a little bitterly, the first time he had shut down or ignored something too emotional or uncomfortable. He knew he should be there with Yato as his hafuri and friend and _kid_, that he should take the opportunity to express his own feelings instead of leaving everything unsaid, that he should apologize for running out without acknowledging or reciprocating anything Yato had said, but he just couldn't make himself do it. And now that he was colluding with Nora, he was afraid that Yato would be able to read the impending betrayal on his face.

Yukine paced long after the night sent its shadows creeping through the windows and he had to flip on the light. Even though he wasn't asleep, he was so wrapped up in his spiraling thoughts that it was a long time before he registered the muffled noises coming from the room next door.

Hushed voices drew his feet to a stop, and he paused in the middle of the floor to frown at the blank expanse of wall separating him and his master. Muffled coughing almost drowned out the rustling of tossing and turning. Yukine drifted over to press his ear to the wall. Buried beneath the heartbeat pounding in his ears, he could just barely make out the creaks and groans of the bed as Yato shifted about restlessly. Over the coughing, another voice mumbled something.

Was Yato okay? And who was in there with him?

Yukine hesitated a second longer, but then his worry and curiosity overtook his guilt. He opened his door and crept a few steps down the empty, shadowed hallway. He paused outside Yato's door and pressed his ear up against it in the hope that perhaps he had been imagining things and there was really no reason to go in there after all.

But then someone said something and someone else—undoubtedly Yato—devolved into another round of grating coughs that ended in some kind of wheezy groan that set Yukine's hair standing upright.

Before he thought better of it, Yukine grabbed the knob and twisted. It gave half a centimeter and then ground to a stop no matter how he twisted and tugged at it.

"Yato?" he asked. "What's going on?"

He jiggled the doorknob again, but it refused to budge. The voices rose to a fevered—if hushed—pitch, and then footsteps thumped across the floorboards. The lock clicked and the door swung open, revealing Kazuma wedged in the doorway, shirt rumpled and face pinched tight.

"What are _you _doing here?" Yukine demanded. He shifted to get a look around the other hafuri, but Kazuma kept the door pulled tight and blocked his view. "What's up with Yato? Yato?"

"Yato is…fine." Kazuma cleared his throat and looked supremely uncomfortable. His obvious lie was given away by a series of coughs followed by wheezing breaths from inside the room. "You should get some sleep."

"Are you _crazy_? Let me in."

Kazuma straightened up and shook his head. "I don't think that's a good idea. He doesn't want visitors right now."

Yukine stared at him like he was crazy, which he _was_. "_Visitors?_" he repeated incredulously. "I'm his _hafuri_. If anyone is a visitor, it's _you_."

Kazuma threw a look over his shoulder. "I don't–"

"It's okay," Yato rasped in a voice that grated painfully enough to make Yukine wince.

Kazuma hesitated but stepped aside just enough to unblock the bed from view, although not enough to allow Yukine easy entry. The covers on the bed had been thrown back, and Yato was twisted in the sheets. Sweat beaded his waxen skin in a sickly sheen, and his chest fluttered with shallow, gasping breaths. Dried blood was smeared around his chin and dotted the sheets and crumpled wads of tissues littering the floor, and the blight painted his skin in splotchy bruises.

"Yato?" Yukine asked in a small voice.

"It's okay," Yato said again, and Yukine really wished he could believe him. The god winced and gritted his teeth as he choked back another cough, but managed a tight-mouthed smile and a strangled croak. "I'll be fine in a minute. You should go back to bed."

"But–"

"We'll talk in the morning, 'kay?" Yato shuddered with the force of another cough and clawed at the mattress as he squeezed his eyes shut and curled up. Yukine stepped forward automatically, but Kazuma stepped back in his way.

"Move!" Yukine said loudly.

Kazuma shook his head, already shutting the door and turning away. "Go to bed. I'll take care of him tonight. You can talk to him tomorrow."

"Hey!" Yukine tried to jam his foot in the door, but Kazuma kicked it aside impatiently and shut him out. The lock clicked. Yukine kicked the door hard, and only succeeded in stubbing his toes. "Let me in!"

He pounded on the door and yelled some more, but Kazuma didn't reappear. The only response he got was from a handful of shinki cracking open their doors and peeking down the hallway with sleep-glazed eyes. He didn't care about them.

Yato was falling apart in there, coughing himself to pieces and burning from the inside out, and Yukine wasn't there. Only Kazuma was, and Yukine didn't trust Kazuma with Yato anymore. Who knew what his one-time mentor was doing in there? Yukine kicked himself for not drawing a borderline or casting a spell when he had the chance. But maybe he could still break down this stupid door.

"What's going on?" Bishamon asked.

Yukine turned to see her drifting down the hallway, Kinuha and the twins trailing behind her. Apparently no one wanted to deal with him themselves. Easier to run to mummy to handle the crazy kid.

"Something's going on with Yato, and Kazuma locked me out!" he said indignantly. He kicked at the door again, and received only a hacking cough from somewhere within the room in return.

A frown stole over Bishamon's face as she glanced around at the bleary-eyed shinki hovering on the sidelines. She looked between them and Yukine and the closed door. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath before opening them again.

"Let's talk inside." She took Yukine's arm and steered him back to the room next door. When he tried to pull away, her fingers tightened like a vise. She nodded to the silent shinki looking on. "You can all go back to sleep. I'll handle this."

Bishamon's grip was iron, befitting of a war god, and Yukine reluctantly let her tow him back inside. He sat on his bed while Bishamon shut the door behind them and sat down beside him.

"You have to make Kazuma let me in," he said.

"I'm sure Kazuma–"

"_I'm _Yato's hafuri. _I _should be in there. And Kazuma should be with you, shouldn't he? Doesn't it bother you?"

Bishamon folded her hands neatly in her lap and frowned down at them for so long that Yukine considered making a break for it.

"Kazuma and Yato have been friends for a long time," she said finally. "Sometimes it's unnerving how much loyalty Kazuma has to him, but I respect that they've shared a lot and have a special bond. Besides, I know that Kazuma's loyalty is to me first, like Yato's is to you."

"But it's _my _job–"

"I know. It's your job to protect him, not Kazuma's. But it's his job to protect you too. You hafuri can get really touchy about it, but…" She sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "Kazuma is still upset that I wouldn't tell him what I was planning and named Nana rather than letting him help me. But the truth is that it wasn't because I didn't trust him or didn't want him around. It was because it was dangerous to involve him and my other shinki, and I looked for a way to get around using them in order to protect them.

"Yato is protecting you too. Maybe you don't like it, but a god wants to protect their shinki as much as you want to protect them. And a parent always wants to protect their children. If Yato doesn't want you in there right now, it's not because he doesn't want you there or thinks Kazuma can do a better job or doesn't trust you. It's because he doesn't want you to see what's happening to him. He's protecting you. And maybe you don't like it, but you can't blame him for trying when you would do the same for him."

Yukine fisted his hands in the covers and pulled his legs up to balance his feet on the edge of the bed. He dropped his chin onto his knees. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair because she was right and he knew it. And it _didn't _make anything better.

Yukine had done a miserable job of protecting Yato lately. He had failed to keep Yato away from his dad, had been able to do _nothing _about the ayakashi and the blight, had yelled at him and run away and made plans to betray him instead of sticking by him like he should have. He had messed up at every turn, and it made Yato's smile hurt even more. Even just in smiling, Yato was protecting Yukine more than Yukine had managed to protect him.

Yukine didn't want to be protected right now, especially not by Yato. It only reminded him of how he had already failed to protect his god.

Another round of muffled coughing shivered through the wall dividing him from Yato.

"I want to be in there," he said in a small voice.

"Of course you do." Bishamon reached over to cover his trembling fist with her hand, and her smile was bittersweet. "But Kazuma will take care of Yato. He's made mistakes, but he'll do everything he can to help. And while they're handling things together, I'll stay here with you."

Yukine wanted to tell her that he didn't need her support or her sympathy or her charity, but he didn't want to be alone either. So he kept his mouth shut and let her sit up with him through the night while they listened in silence to the coughing and wheezing and creaking of bed springs through the wall.

Yukine didn't realize he'd drifted off to sleep sometime during the long, merciless night until he was blinking around blearily, wondering what had happened in a groggy sort of way. He was alone, and it took a moment to remember what had transpired the night before. But when he did remember, it hit him in a sudden flash like lightning and he scrambled up from the bed, wincing as his cramping muscles protested.

He stumbled out into the hallway before remembering that the door was locked. He tried it anyway, a little halfheartedly, and was relieved when it swung open.

Bishamon and Kazuma were already inside, standing over the bed and talking in hushed voices.

"–did what we could," Bishamon was saying.

"It's just not enough," Kazuma mumbled, sounding unbearably tired. "There's nothing I can do. And even if there was, what then? We'd still have to kill the sorcerer anyway. It's just…"

"Not fair," Bishamon finished for him. She sighed and put a hand on his arm. "I'm sorry."

Yukine inched into the room—quietly, because he was half-afraid of being kicked out again after the fiasco last night—and tried to peek around them to get a glimpse of Yato. Creeping around behind them, he finally got a look at Yato lying still in the bed, eyes closed and breathing so shallow his chest barely seemed to rise. The blight seemed to cover every inch of his skin now, staining him the purple of death. The sheets were twisted and rumpled around him and spattered with rusty pools of dried blood.

Yukine made an involuntary sound somewhere between a gasp of horror and strangled moan as he stared wide-eyed at the battered god. Bishamon and Kazuma started and turned around.

"Yukine–" Bishamon started.

"What _happened_?" Yukine asked, even though that was a stupid question.

Kazuma cleared his throat and looked away. "Yato…had a rough night."

Hysterical laughter bubbled up in Yukine's throat, but he managed to choke it down. A _rough night_? Really?

"Can we wake him up? Or…I guess maybe we should let him rest, but…"

"I would if I could," Kazuma muttered as he turned away to cross his arms and frown down at Yato.

"What?" Yukine demanded. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I tried to keep him awake, but once he finally passed out… We haven't been able to wake him up again. We've tried."

Yukine's throat felt tight and he couldn't breathe. Yato couldn't be dead. Surely he would be able to feel it if his master died, and he was sure Yato's chest was rising and falling ever so slightly—_wasn't it?_

"_I'll _wake him up," he said. He rushed over, pushing Kazuma aside, and shook Yato roughly. "Wake up. Bakagami, _wake up_. Yato, you have to–"

He wailed like a banshee when Kazuma grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

"Stop," the older shinki said tightly. "You're blighting yourself."

So what if there was a little burning at his fingertips? What did that matter when Yato was riddled with blight inside and out, barely breathing, hanging on to life by a thread? Yukine had known Yato was dying, but seeing him like that, like he actually _was _dead, hit him like a punch to the gut.

"Let me go!" he cried, struggling in Kazuma's grip, unable to tear his gaze away from the fading god swaddled in sweat-soaked sheets like a shroud. "Let me go, I have to–!"

"Yukine."

The quiet firmness in Bishamon's voice drew him up short despite himself, and he blinked at her through a film of tears. She looked between him and Kazuma and Yato, and then took a deep breath.

"I think," she said, "it's time to talk about the sorcerer."

* * *

"I thought you didn't want anything to do with this," Daikoku said, eyeing Bishamon and Kazuma from across the table.

They had reconvened in the boardroom to discuss their newest scheme, and a very cautious, tentative hope welled in Yukine's chest. It was tempered by the knowledge that Bishamon and Kazuma were still shaky allies and the horrifying memory of Yato fading beneath the blood and blight, but if Yukine was grasping at straws, this was a straw he would latch on to with a stranglehold.

"It's still dangerous and we really shouldn't, but…" Bishamon glanced sidelong at Kazuma. The normal air of cautious disapproval still radiated from him, but his eyes were shiny with suppressed hope. "Look, we're still going to have to get rid of the sorcerer either way and we can't afford to let him actually get his hands on Yato again, but maybe it's worth at least trying to set a trap."

"Yay!" Kofuku cheered, although the dead look in her eyes didn't match the brightness of her voice. She had grown very quiet and withdrawn since seeing Yato's state this morning, and not even the threadbare promise of a saving grace could pull her out of it. "Let's save Yato-chan!"

"Thank goodness, I'm glad we're all on the same page now." Hiyori smiled a little shakily. She had also been in tears earlier, but determination shone in her eyes now. "Although I don't know how it's going to work… I've been trying to get in contact with Yato's dad, but he's refusing to make an appearance. It's weird. Usually he's all too eager to come by and mess with us."

"You did _what_?" Yukine demanded.

Everyone stared at Hiyori in horror, but she only raised her chin and stared back steadily, uncowed.

"I never said I didn't want to look for a way to save him, just that I thought we should be careful about how we did it."

"And that's _careful_?" Daikoku asked.

Yukine swallowed hard and felt guilty for doubting Hiyori. She could be nearly as crazy as he was, and he should have known that she'd never give up.

Bishamon closed her eyes and kneaded her forehead. "You're…" She sighed and shook her head. "Well, we'll need to get in touch with the sorcerer to arrange an exchange, and soon. Yato's barely hanging on by a thread."

Yukine opened his mouth to explain that he had already arranged such an exchange, but Bishamon shook her head at him before he had the chance to say anything at all.

"You can't come," she said. "It's bad enough that we're risking him getting Yato again. We definitely can't put you at risk too. We can handle it."

Yukine huffed out an irritated breath. He was tired of being left out of things.

"I was _going _to say that I already talked to Nora," he said sulkily.

Now it was everyone's turn to stare at him.

"You did _what_?" Hiyori asked.

"Well, they weren't going to do anything, so I was," he said defensively. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the tabletop. "I already told her I'd bring Yato out, so they're expecting us. She's been watching, so she'll know as soon as we leave. And I made her agree that she and their dad wouldn't touch me."

"You're all insane," Bishamon muttered, dropping her face into her hands. "Why does Yato always attract the crazy ones?"

"And you believe her?" Kazuma asked.

Yukine shrugged. "I don't trust her, but I believe that she'll convince Yato's dad to give me a one-time pass in exchange for handing him over. They think I'll come running after them to try rescuing Yato once they have him, so they aren't really worried about getting me right now."

Kazuma stared back solemnly. "And you won't?"

Yukine looked away. "Anyway, I can defend myself and you guys will be there, so it's not like they'll have an easy time of grabbing me. And we're going to take Yato back with us—no one's getting stuck with Nora and Yato's dad. I'll be fine."

Bishamon waved a hand in weary resignation. "You know what, knock yourself out. I'm not sure I could stop you if I tried. But keep yourself under control no matter what they try on Yato or you'll jeopardize the mission."

Yukine grumbled his assent.

"But how do we make sure they fix Yato without taking him?" Hiyori propped her elbows on the table, cupped her chin in her hands, and frowned down at the gleaming wood with pursed lips. "It won't be easy, and they'll be expecting us to try something."

A deadly serious look descended over Bishamon's face like an iron shroud. "If they don't agree to bring the ayakashi with them, the plan is over. It's already risky enough. There's no way to win if that ayakashi doesn't come too, and it's much too dangerous to just hand Yato over and let them make a puppet out of him. If we don't have good reason to believe that they'll bring that phantom, we're calling the plan off. And _no one _here will be trying anything on their own."

She leveled a flat look at Yukine and Hiyori, and the promise was clear: if she didn't believe the ayakashi was coming, Yato would die and there was nothing they could do about it. Yukine swallowed down the lump in his throat and licked his dry lips.

"I already asked Nora that," he said. "It's not like I want to hand Yato over if they're just going to run off with him again. She said they'd bring it because I said they wouldn't get Yato back otherwise."

Kazuma raised an eyebrow. "And you believe her?"

Yukine looked between him and Bishamon and read the doubt and reluctance written across their faces, the evidence that they wanted to save Yato too but weren't entirely convinced this last-ditch plan was worth the risk.

"Yes," he said. "I do."

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Daikoku murmured.

Yukine cast a sidelong glance his way but didn't comment. Neither did anyone else. It was as rhetorical a question as any now that they were all gathered in the lower realm, moments away from either the best or worst decision they had ever made.

Daikoku and Kofuku had positioned themselves next to Bishamon in front of the others, ready to create chaos at the first sign of trouble. Yukine and Hiyori had been ordered, in no uncertain terms, by _everyone_, to stay in the back. Yukine chose not to complain about this, because being in the back meant he was beside Yato.

Yato had still failed to awaken, which was horrible but had a silver lining: he wouldn't be awake to see Yukine betraying him to his dad. The new game of the day was Check If Yato's Still Breathing, and it had nearly given Yukine half a dozen heart attacks already. With the god's breathing growing shallower and more insubstantial, sometimes it was impossible to tell if he was breathing at all without a great deal of panic.

Yukine was watching him rather than paying attention to searching for Nora like he should, because he was terrified that Yato was going to slip away the second he wasn't looking.

Kuraha, covered head to toe with thick fabric, long sleeves, and gloves, held the god carefully, like a fragile thing. Kazuma had originally volunteered for this task, but Bishamon insisted he be at the ready to coordinate the attack the second something went wrong. He was already transformed and tucked in her earlobe, and Bishamon was at the ready with a reduced arsenal of shinki. There had been a heated debate about which shinki to include since this was all top secret. Bishamon and Kazuma went back and forth for way too long trying to figure out the right balance between keeping the mission contained to the smallest number of people possible and having enough shinki to properly launch an attack or defense. By the halfway point, Yukine had been ready to ditch them and do this himself, convinced Yato was going to die while they were still arguing back and forth.

In the end, Kuraha, Kinuha, and the twins had been included since they were part of the original group who had seen Yato possessed. Aiha was brought into the fold because she already knew something was up from following Hiyori around and Bishamon thought it would be safer to have armor. Just in case, she said. She didn't say it was in case Yato was possessed again and she had to fight him off. No one was willing to acknowledge that possibility.

"Are you sure they know we–?" Bishamon started.

"Of course we do." Yato's dad seemed to materialize from behind the row of buildings across from them, Nora following a step behind like his shadow.

Hiyori had suggested they make their stand just outside Kofuku's shrine so that they were in familiar territory and had quick access to a friendly shrine and escape to Takamagahara if necessary, but the precaution seemed silly now that their enemies were standing there, solid and real. Yukine stole another glance at Yato, who only seemed more faded and insubstantial by the second.

"There are more of you than expected," Nora murmured. She stared at Yukine without expression. "I suppose you're more persuasive than you thought."

Hiyori shifted between them and glared. Yato's dad chuckled.

"How cute," he said. "Don't worry, we agreed not to touch Yaboku's kid…for now. Just give us Yaboku and we'll be on our way."

"Where's the ayakashi?" Bishamon demanded, quickly taking charge of the situation.

One eyebrow inched up the sorcerer's forehead, and amusement twinkled in his eyes. "Why would I bring it here where you could set a trap for it?"

"You agreed to bring it! I knew we shouldn't trust you."

The other eyebrow joined the first up near his hairline. "I said no such thing. I'm wounded that you wouldn't trust me."

"Of course you–"

"Is that what Yukine told you?" Nora interrupted. Her empty black eyes never left Yukine's face, and her stare made him shift uncomfortably. "That's not what I told him. I said I would ask but it probably wouldn't happen." She shook her head ever so slightly. "You're just betraying everyone left and right, aren't you?"

Yukine opened his mouth to tell her to shut up, but his voice withered in his desert-dry throat as everyone turned to look at him.

"Yukine?" Hiyori asked uncertainly.

He didn't have an answer. He wanted to justify himself with the excuse that Bishamon and Kazuma had betrayed them first or that he didn't have a choice, but those weren't real excuses. But no matter how sick to his stomach he felt, he didn't regret it. Bishamon would have never agreed to this if she had known the truth, and Yukine would do anything to make this happen.

Bishamon's look could cut through steel as she raked it over Yukine, lips pursed in disapproval, and then she turned on Yato's dad again. "Then there's no deal."

Yukine straightened up, shame eclipsed by desperation. He had known there would be a reckoning and come prepared to fight, but he had no illusions about Bishamon's willingness to capitulate. He had come this far, betraying his own values and friends along the way, and he couldn't back down now. He had come too far to step down and watch Yato die despite everything.

"We have to!" he hissed, shouldering past Hiyori to confront Bishamon. "He's going to die otherwise!"

Bishamon's gaze held a strange mixture of contempt and pity as she looked down at him. "I already warned you: it's too dangerous. I don't want to see him die either, but… If he's possessed again, people will die. People already _have _died. I can't conscience sacrificing so many lives for his, and we will create our own worst enemy."

Yukine's heart lodged in his throat, but he didn't let himself dwell on the truth of that. He had been trying very hard not to think about what might happen if worst came to worst and Yato was possessed again.

He lowered his voice to a mere breath, and Bishamon had to lean down to hear him. "If we let him take Yato, we can follow them back to their hideout. Then you can kill the ayakashi before they possess him again, _and _you'll have found their base and can attack them however you want."

She did not look convinced. "Too risky. I think I'd rather just kill the sorcerer right here."

Her hand tightened around the gun sticking out of the holster at her hip, and Yukine spiraled back into panic.

"You can't do that!" he hissed. "If you kill his dad before he fixes Yato, he'll die!"

Her eyes softened just a little. "But he won't if I kill him later?"

Yukine opened his mouth, but no words came out. There was nothing to say to that. This was exactly why he hadn't trusted Bishamon and Kazuma before, because they wanted to sever Yato's lifeline. But this threat was more immediate, more _real_. He could worry about keeping them away from Yato's dad later, but none of that would matter if Yato died here. He would do whatever it took to buy them some more time.

"Please," he said in a small voice.

Bishamon sighed and opened her mouth, but then paused and tilted her head as if listening to something. Kazuma, no doubt. Resignation clouded her features.

"Fine," she said. "But this isn't over."

Yukine didn't ask what had changed her mind. He knew better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Hiyori pressed close to his side, and they huddled together and watched with bated breath as the switch was effected. Bishamon was clearly half a second away from reneging, practically vibrating with the tension of a string stretched taut, and the obvious smug enjoyment plastered across the sorcerer's face was infuriating.

Bishamon watched like a hawk as Kuraha stepped forward and held out Yato's shadow. Yukine watched _her_, ready to intervene if she decided to back out. Beside him, he could practically feel Hiyori doing the same. Yato's dad hefted the god's slight frame with ease and clicked his tongue as he examined him more closely.

"You really waited to the last second, didn't you?" he asked. "He's just about gone."

"Fix him," Yukine snapped.

"Oh, I will." The sorcerer looked down at Yato with a possessive smile that made Yukine's skin crawl. "He'll be good as new in no time, and finally behaving again."

"You're sick," Hiyori said in disgust.

Watching Yato dangle limply from his father's arms, lifeless and defenseless, Yukine felt the sharp sting of regret and wondered if this had been a mistake. He needed Yato to live, but at what cost? Seeing Yato so totally at his dad's mercy hammered the betrayal home.

He did his best to shake off the unsettling thoughts. They were still going to kill the ayakashi before it had the chance to possess Yato again. It barely counted as a betrayal at all if he made sure Yato pulled through unharmed. It would be okay.

"Well, we'll be on our way," the sorcerer said, not bothering to mask his triumph. "Thanks for bringing back my stubborn kid."

Everyone seemed to ease forward half a step, barely daring to breathe as they readied themselves. There was no plan for how to follow their foes and kill the ayakashi before it all went to hell again, but they would surely try.

But, Yukine realized, it wouldn't be enough. What had he been thinking? What sounded fairly reasonable in theory hardly held up under scrutiny. How did they actually expect to stalk such elusive prey? Nora and Yato's dad weren't stupid enough to lead them back to the ayakashi when they knew they were being watched. And even assuming Yukine and the others could manage that, what were the chances they'd manage to kill the ayakashi before Yato was possessed again? It could be a matter of seconds.

It was a wild, futile plan with more holes than a sieve, but Yukine had been willing to grasp at _anything _in his desperation. It only fueled his hopeless panic to realize that it wouldn't be enough.

"Wait!" he cried, lunging forward. "Take me with you!"

He couldn't just abandon Yato to his dad. Maybe if he went, he could _do _something. Maybe he could hold the ayakashi off himself or rescue Yato or do _something_. He was so tired of sitting by helplessly and watching it all fall apart.

"Yukine!" Hiyori said, her voice high-pitched with fear as she grabbed at his arm.

"Absolutely not!" Bishamon said at the same time. "There's no way he's getting both of you."

The sorcerer watched the exchange with no little amusement, a smirk playing at the corners of his lips. "As much as I'd love to bring you along, we promised not to touch you this time."

"But I–" Yukine started.

"Not now when Yaboku is vulnerable. We wouldn't want you getting any _ideas_." The smile widened. "Now, after Yaboku is safely on his feet again and ready for a weapon, you're more than welcome to drop by. In fact, we'll make _sure _you do."

Of course they wouldn't want him around before Yato was safely under control again, but it wasn't _fair_. Yukine couldn't tear his gaze away from Yato's slack, waxen face, barely recognizable under the blight. He already looked so dead and unlike himself, and if his dad had his way, he'd be even less of himself next time anyone saw him.

Then the sorcerer turned away, swinging Yato around with him, and the spell was broken. Yukine lurched after him, hand outstretched, but that was the moment a horde of over a dozen ayakashi appeared out of nowhere and descended upon them.

"Something to keep you occupied until Yaboku is ready to play again," Yato's dad said with a chuckle as he sauntered off down the street.

Everything exploded in a riot of sound and color and motion, but Yukine only cared about one thing. He dodged around an ayakashi to race after Yato's dad. After _Yato_. Dodging around another that took a swipe at him, he came face to face with Nora and skidded to a stop just before slamming into her borderline.

"Let me through!" he cried. She stared at him impassively through the glowing barrier. "You have to let me save Yato! You don't like seeing him possessed either, right? If you care about him at all, let me go."

He imagined he saw a flicker of uncertainty cloud her features, and she threw a glance over her shoulder at where the sorcerer was retreating with Yato. For one brief, blinding moment, he dared to hope.

But then she looked back. "Yukine, restraint!"

His muddled reflexes almost got him ensnared, but he had practiced this with Kazuma so many times that he managed to throw up a clumsy borderline despite his distraction.

"Nora–"

Her borderline dropped, only to be replaced by a barrage of attacks. The onslaught was too much for Yukine while he was in such turmoil, and he took a hit to the chest that sent him flying backwards.

When he scrambled back to his feet, still gasping for breath, Nora was gone. So was the sorcerer.

Yato was gone.

Hiyori was racing down the street, heedless of the ayakashi snapping at her heels, but the hopelessness and panic in her voice as she called after them told Yukine everything he needed to know. Behind him, Bishamon was cursing loudly as she cut through the horde.

It only took a few minutes to get the situation under control, but those few minutes might as well have been a lifetime. They searched high and low, but it was too late.

Yukine was sick to his stomach. He might have saved Yato, but he had damned him too.

* * *

**Note: Good job, Yukine x.x**


	8. Hiyori is threatened & Yukine is advised

**.**

**Chapter 8**

_(In which everyone must face the consequences of their choices, Hiyori is threatened, and Yukine is offered some unwelcome advice.)_

* * *

The door opened, and Yukine uncurled from the ball on his bed, ready to snap at whoever had dared invade his borrowed sanctuary. Every once in a while, one of Bishamon's shinki would knock tentatively and he would send them away. Until Bishamon came back, he didn't want to see any of them.

But it was Hiyori who poked her head in and then closed the door behind her before crossing the floor to sit in the chair beside the bed. One look at her face told Yukine that something had finally happened, something worse than the agony of _not knowing_.

"How are you doing today?" she asked in a subdued sort of way. Her eyes were shadowed. Haunted.

"What happened?" Yukine sat up in a flurry of blankets and leaned forward, his heart jumping into his throat. "Did you hear something about Yato?"

Yato, his dad, and Nora had dropped off the face of the earth since disappearing four days ago. None of them had made contact with Yukine or the others, and any attempts to draw them out of hiding had failed. Yukine had tried getting Nora's attention because he was _sure _she was still watching him, but she hadn't taken the bait. He would have risked leaving Bishamon's property or even abandoning Takamagahara entirely—he was _that _desperate for news—to improve his chances of luring her out, but he had been under heavy surveillance since his betrayal.

Everyone who had been there and knew what had happened—aside from Hiyori, Kofuku, and Daikoku—had been treating him coldly ever since, and he was never allowed to be alone outside his room. He couldn't exactly blame them. Bishamon had told him in no uncertain terms that he was to stay inside the mansion at all times, and she made no secret of the fact that he was being watched. He wasn't sure if he was under such close surveillance because he had done something wrong or because they were simply worried he would go chasing after Yato without regard for the consequences.

He _knew _he couldn't leave the safety of Bishamon's grudging protection, but he _wanted _to. It was probably a good thing he didn't have the chance to run, because otherwise he might. He hated the _not knowing_. Yato had disappeared entirely, and Yukine had no way of knowing if he was even alive. What if they had been too late and his dad couldn't fix him in time? What if Yato was _gone_?

Hiyori heaved a sigh that left her looking deflated and heartsick. "My dad was reading the paper this morning," she said. Yukine opened his mouth to ask what that had to do with anything, but she produced a folded page of newsprint from her pocket and handed it to him. "It's all over the news, too."

Yukine unfolded the page and smoothed it out over his knee. Bold black letters proclaimed the reemergence of last month's serial killer: twelve deaths in twenty-four hours, and the kill count was steadily rising.

"It might not be him," Yukine suggested weakly.

"Of course it is. Fujisaki is just…" Hiyori closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. "He's alive, at least. But…"

"Lots of people are going to die. It will only get worse until we can stop it."

"And Fujisaki will be coming after you, I'm sure. Now that Yato's back on his feet…"

"You could become a bigger target too, to lure me out."

"Yeah, Kofuku keeps lurking around and Bishamon seems to circle around my place an awful lot. But it will be way worse if he gets you. Be careful."

"I'm under lock and key anyway." Yukine swallowed hard and ran his fingers over the small black letters. His throat knotted up as he wondered about the people who had lost their lives: their names, ages, occupations, hobbies, passions, loves. What had the world lost because of his choice? "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

Hiyori's gaze snapped to his face, and she leaned forward as she studied him with big eyes. "It's not your fault," she said earnestly. "We all agreed to take the risk. I know Yato wouldn't blame you."

"Yeah, he'd blame himself," Yukine muttered.

He dropped his gaze back to the news article as he remembered how shaken Yato had been when they first pulled the ayakashi out of him, the pain and fear in his eyes when he admonished Yukine for not drawing a borderline. _"Oh yes, because I would feel so much better watching myself kill you," _he had said. And he already had too many demons in his past to give him more.

"It's his dad's fault," Hiyori said sharply. "No one else's."

"Maybe, but I chose to send him back, even when he didn't want to go. Even when he warned me what would happen." Yukine hunched over and crumpled the paper into a ball. "Those people are dead because I… And I don't know if…"

_If I made a mistake_, he wanted to say, but he couldn't force out the words. It was horrible and he knew he was a horrible person for placing one life above dozens, but he couldn't bear to call saving Yato a mistake. If he could even call it _'saving'_. It seemed like Yato's situation was nearly as bad.

"But you thought about it beforehand, didn't you?" Hiyori asked. "You considered the risks."

"Yeah, but somehow it's different when it's actually happening."

It had been one thing to weigh a hypothetical worst-case scenario against the very immediate, painful reality of Yato's decline, but it was a whole other to hold the weight of a dozen lives in his hands. The paper ball was lead between his fingers.

"Of course it's hard," Hiyori said gently. "Hard situations require hard decisions. We took a gamble and we lost, but we already decided beforehand that it was a risk we were willing to take. I'm not saying that it was the right decision or the wrong one, but we made our choices and we have to stand by them. And we were trying to save a friend, which is always something worth fighting for."

Yukine sniffled and scrubbed at his eyes, lips trembling. He hadn't realized how badly he'd needed Hiyori's support until she'd given it. Whatever mistakes he'd made or trouble he'd caused, they would accept what they had done and stand by it until the end. They didn't have a choice. Yukine still felt horrible, but Hiyori was right: he had already accepted this risk a long time ago.

He didn't say anything else, but Hiyori seemed content to let it go and lose herself in her own thoughts and sit with him while he tried to come to terms with the consequences.

As much as his conscience nagged at him, there was something even more pressing.

"Do you think we'll find him now?" he asked, torn between dread and hope.

Hiyori's face was bleak. "I'm more worried that he'll find us."

Yukine had nothing to say to that. He wanted to find Yato more than anything, but the cold reality was that it wasn't going to be a happy reunion. And some small, selfish part of him was so afraid of seeing what he had done to his god that he almost didn't want to see him at all.

But _he _wasn't even allowed down the hall without supervision, much less given the opportunity to go searching for Yato. Only Bishamon was allowed to be looking for him. This set Yukine squirming, because he was sure she would aim to kill rather than take any more chances. And as much as he wanted to blame her, he was afraid that Yato would be aiming to kill too. The two gods were set on a collision course, and Yukine didn't know how to stop them from destroying each other.

Did he want to keep them away from each other? But if he did, how would they ever save Yato? And how could he do _either _while under house arrest?

Hiyori cleared her throat and began rambling about her day and what he was missing in the outside world, and Yukine did his best to let her distract him. The look in her eyes told him that he wasn't fooling her, but they were willing to play the game for a little while longer. There wasn't much to do except brood and worry until Bishamon got back, anyway.

Hiyori suggested they head to the kitchen to get some lunch, but Yukine waved her off. His stomach was still in knots when he thought about Yato or the people who had died because of his choice, and he couldn't think of anything else. Besides, the last thing he needed was a dozen pairs of eyes watching him everywhere he went. No, he would prefer to hide in here as long as he could.

And this plan worked quite well until the door burst open not even an hour after the aborted lunch attempt. Bishamon stormed in, already calling all her shinki by name to transform them back to their human forms. Yukine straightened up, eyes wide, and Hiyori twisted around in her seat with a soft gasp.

Every shinki was spattered with blight, some only mildly so and some covered with huge patches. Bishamon herself had purple blotches creeping along what seemed like nearly every inch of exposed skin, and blood trickled from beneath sloppily wrapped bandages.

"Go get cleaned up," she snapped without looking back at her shinki.

They exchanged looks and filed out the door, which Kazuma closed behind them. He hovered just behind Bishamon, staring at Yukine and Hiyori expressionlessly. Even he had purple splashed across his cheek, and he shouldn't be in range of attacks.

"You found him?" Yukine burst out the instant the door clicked shut.

"More like he found us," she said. Amethyst eyes glinted coldly as they bored into Yukine, and Bishamon's face was set in hard, unforgiving lines. "You'll be glad to know that he's alive after all. He's also gone on a killing spree since his reemergence late last night. People are dead. People are dying."

Yukine swallowed hard and hunched his shoulders. "I know," he mumbled. When her eyes flashed, he added, "Hiyori saw it on the news."

The suspicion lining her face subsided, but her eyes didn't soften. "He has to be stopped. Obviously I would rather kill the ayakashi than kill him with it, but that has become exceedingly difficult now that they're joined again. I can't afford to waste any chance I get. It's looking unlikely. You've put us in a position where he's our enemy, and a dangerous one at that. He must be incapacitated, and then I'll kill the sorcerer as well. You understand?"

Panic flared along every nerve again, even though this was nothing unexpected. While Yato was under his father's control and attacking Bishamon, Bishamon would fight back—even if it meant killing him. Yukine's stomach churned at the thought.

"Maybe I can–"

"_You_," Bishamon said, "have already done enough."

"I got through to him last time," Yukine said. "For a few seconds, he shook off the ayakashi. Maybe I can–"

"I said _no_. You will not be leaving the premises. It's bad enough that Yato has gone crazy. Our only saving grace is that he doesn't have a shinki and doesn't seem to be focused on strategy while his brain is fried." Bishamon gestured at her ravaged body curtly as she said, "But he can still do more than enough damage. The last thing I'm going to do is hand him a hafuri."

"But if I could just–"

"Could just _what_? I highly doubt it will be as easy to break the sorcerer's control this time, and even before it was barely a few seconds. The only thing running out there like a fool is going to do is give him the chance to summon you. Can you _imagine _how many people would die? He'd make a good show of trying to kill some of us gods, too. A few seconds isn't going to do you any good. Do you see yet, why we didn't want to risk handing him back to the sorcerer?"

Bishamon shook her head in disgust and spun about to stalk back to the door. "This is my fault too for humoring your foolish scheme, but… People are dying because of the choices you made, Yukine. Their deaths are on your head. Think about it."

She threw the door open and stalked off down the hall without waiting for Kazuma. Kazuma frowned after her, but glanced back at Yukine and hesitated in the doorway. Yukine wished he would just leave.

He had considered all of these things when debating how to save Yato, even if his judgment had perhaps been a bit clouded with desperation and bias. He had _known _people could die, had _known _how difficult it would be to get Yato back if things went wrong, had _known _it would be his fault. But to have it all thrown in his face still _hurt_.

Not only had he brought about the deaths of innocent people—and he could _feel _the blood warm and sticky on his hands—but he had completely and utterly failed his duty as a guidepost and exemplar. Yato had entrusted him with the responsibility—burden and privilege—of guiding him to become a god of fortune and outrun his bloody past. Yukine had always taken that so seriously, and now he had thrown it all away. In betraying Yato, Yukine had turned him back into the magatsukami he had struggled so hard to bury. He had only wanted to save Yato, but he had done it in the most destructive way possible.

"Veena is being a bit harsh on you," Kazuma said, startling Yukine out of his self-recriminations. "Her duty has always been focused on justice and righteous retribution, so this is…a rather black-and-white situation for her. And the current situation with Yato is putting her in great immediate danger, which isn't helping. It's not that she's wrong, because she's not. Just…"

Kazuma sighed and frowned at the ground. "For what it's worth, I know why you did it. I don't agree with your decision, but I understand it. And in your place, I might have done the same thing."

Yukine sneered, not in the mood for pity and especially not from Kazuma. "What do _you _understand?" he asked bitterly.

"We're hafuri," Kazuma said with a strange sort of half-shrug that didn't eclipse the weariness lining his face. "Sometimes it seems like we'd do anything to protect our gods, no matter how terrible. But whatever choices we make, we stand by them. I betrayed my entire clan and Bishamon to save her, I betrayed you despite the trust you put in me and Yato despite how much I owe him. When loyalties are divided, our gods always win. No matter what I've done, I've always managed to justify it in terms of protecting Veena. That's why I don't sting her. Even if we regret the choices we have to make, we make them anyway because our duty to protect our gods is the most important thing to us and _someone _has to put it first.

"So no, I don't agree with what you did and I resent that it has put Veena in danger, but… I understand that's a hafuri's burden. And I guess it's good that someone is looking out for Yato and putting him first." He turned away to follow Bishamon down the hall. "I understand your need to help, but stay here. We'll do what we can for Yato."

He shut the door behind him, and his muffled footsteps clicked off down the hall. Yukine stared at the door blankly. Kazuma had a bit of a problematic moral compass when it came to justifying Bishamon's best interests, but…maybe Yukine did too, when it came to Yato. Maybe that was what it boiled down to.

It didn't make Yukine feel any better. If anything, it made him feel worse to have Kazuma take the high ground with him and force them to see eye to eye. He still couldn't forgive the earlier betrayal, and maybe he didn't want Kazuma to forgive his either. As much as he wanted to make himself believe he had done the right thing, that this wasn't _really _his fault, he wasn't looking for justification or excuses.

"Did I make a mistake?" he asked quietly.

Hiyori took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Leaning back in her chair, she tilted her head back and stared up at the ceiling.

"I think you made a choice," she said. "Whether or not you call it a mistake is up to you. In the end, it's a choice like any other, both the good and the bad of it. And soon we'll have to make the next one."

That sounded a little like something Kazuma would say, minus the part where they should never consider it wrong so that they didn't blight their god. But it felt different coming from Hiyori, maybe because she wasn't pressuring him to be right or wrong. Maybe because he just liked her a whole lot better than Kazuma.

Either way, he had made his choice, and he would stand by both the good and bad that came out of it. And he would have to be ready for all the choices that came after. He would have to prepare for the consequences.

Still, he wasn't surprised when he peeked over his shoulder before his bath later that night and found a small cluster of ayakashi eyeballs nested just below his shoulder blade.

* * *

Resolve became harder and harder to come by the longer the stalemate dragged on. Yukine demanded Hiyori bring him the paper each day and forced himself to read the articles detailing the ongoing investigation into the new serial killer plaguing the area and the rapidly rising death toll. Partly he needed a way to stay informed when he was totally cut off from the outside world. Mostly it was some strange kind of penance, acknowledging who died because of his choices and what he had forced Yato to become.

Watching Bishamon and her shinki come home empty-handed every day while the deaths piled up curdled the guilt twisting Yukine's stomach into knots. Some days they came home having found absolutely nothing, some days covered in blight and bandages. Bishamon didn't want Yukine involved in any way, but occasionally Kuraha or Kazuma would take pity on him and offer him small snippets of information. There wasn't much to be told beyond how Yato and the sorcerer seemed to disappear off the face of the earth one day despite the continuous killings and then reappear out of nowhere in a flurry of savage attacks the next, only to disappear like smoke before anyone had a real chance to apprehend them. And every time Bishamon and the others came limping back with new injuries, it only made the next encounter harder to survive.

Bishamon herself said very little to Yukine and hardly acknowledged him at all, but he came to the slow realization that she wasn't so much angry with him as scared. Obviously she wasn't happy with him, but it was equally clear that she had bigger problems. Yato attacked fast and hard from the shadows and disappeared before she had the chance to strike back, often flanked by his dad's ayakashi for protection. He—or, in truth, his dad—had carefully weighed the odds and stacked them all against the war goddess. And although Bishamon said she was aiming to kill, it was quite possible that she still had more inhibition than Yato. She was still heavily injured from the fight against the sorcerer and the heavens, and each new skirmish broke her down a little more. She was, quite literally, fighting for her life and the lives of her shinki.

And, Yukine suspected, she had more than a few regrets of her own. He could see himself reflected in her eyes, all the frustration and fear and grief and guilt and the wish that things could be different.

It didn't make him trust her any more, but he understood, just a little. He didn't like to look at his regrets too closely either, if he could avoid it. He hadn't checked his back once since that first time. He didn't feel good about blighting Yato, but it wasn't like the god was here for a proper ablution. And he had the feeling that there would be more eyeballs sprouting between his shoulder blades before this was all over.

Hiyori helped keep him sane, but it was a big job and nearly a week of waiting with bated breath was enough to wear anyone down.

When Yato's phone, carefully tucked away in Yukine's pocket to wait for the return of its owner, began ringing right in the middle of the day and Hiyori's name lit up the screen, Yukine feared she was calling to say she wouldn't be able to come over after school. The thought made his heart sink down all the way to the soles of his feet. He desperately needed to see a friendly face, someone he trusted fully. He lived for those few short hours in the evenings. Without Yato there, he needed Hiyori more than ever.

"What's wrong?" he demanded as he answered the call. "Are you okay?"

"Hmmm… Let me ask her," replied the last voice he wanted to hear. "What do you say, Hiyori, dear? Are you okay?"

"You!" he blurted out. "What the hell are you doing with–?"

"Hey, hey, it's not nice to ask a question and talk over the answer. Let the girl talk."

"I'm fine," Hiyori said, her voice a little farther away and muffled like she was speaking through gritted teeth. "I'm at school. Or right outside school. Fujisaki just wanted a word."

Yukine's heart thundered like a jackhammer in his chest and his fingers tightened around the phone. They had known Hiyori could easily become a target, but there was no easy way to protect her while she still lived apart from them in her mortal life. And he had been worrying so much about Yato that he hadn't spared as much concern for Hiyori as he probably should have. His panic burned hot and bright as he realized that Yato wasn't the only one he stood to lose.

"Let her go!" he cried.

"I'm not _doing _anything to her," Yato's dad said with an audible pout. Yukine's fist clenched tighter around the phone. "We were just having a chat."

"How did you even get to her? We had–"

"Please. It's not like your guard dogs can be around all the time. The god of poverty isn't here. Bishamon and her brood are off licking their wounds from their encounter with Yaboku earlier. And the girl you left here is down for the count."

"Aiha?" Yukine asked. "Is she alright?"

"She'll live."

"I wasn't asking _you_. Hiyori, what's going on?"

"He pulled me aside after class," Hiyori said. "It's not like I can just attack him right outside the school. Aiha is…down. She'll be okay, but… She put up a fight, but he brought too many ayakashi and…" She hesitated so long that Yukine knew what she wasn't sure she wanted to say. "Yato is here."

Every muscle in Yukine's body tightened up all at once in some strange mixture of horror and desperate hope. "Is he okay? Did he hurt you? Do you think he–?"

"Awww," cooed Yato's dad, voice syrupy with amusement and mockery. "Yaboku misses you too. I mean, it's not like he's very talkative these days, but I know he wants his kid back. So, what do you say, Yukine? Don't you want to come rescue Hiyori and work with Yaboku again?"

The threat itched like a fine dusting of gunpowder beneath Yukine's skin, waiting to explode on a hair trigger.

"Leave her alone. Leave _them _alone."

"But I'm not doing anything. I really only stopped by for a chat. I'm not going to do anything to Hiyori today, and neither is Yaboku. I'm still being nice. Also, I wanted to make sure you knew that I'm going to need you two days from now. This would be so much easier if Yaboku hadn't released Mizuchi, but he did and you're his only shinki so now this is your responsibility. If you still don't show up, my patience might be wearing a little thin."

"You won't be able to–"

"To what? Look, kid. Hiyori doesn't belong to your world. You can't just hide her away in Takamagahara for weeks at a time. You can't protect her all the time when she goes about her daily life. Even if you tried, Bishamon is stretched thin and Yaboku is on a roll. And even if you _could _keep her away from me, her family is fair game. If I want her that badly, I'll take her. It would be a shame if it came to that, though. It would be so much easier if you just cooperated."

It was _true_. Hiyori couldn't stay locked away in Takamagahara like Yukine. She couldn't even stay locked away in her own house. If the gods monitored her constantly, they wouldn't be able to do their jobs, and Aiha obviously wasn't enough protection. It would be hard enough protecting just Hiyori, but if Yato's dad started targeting her parents or friends too?

What could they even do? Yukine couldn't just give in and let the sorcerer do what he wanted with him, but if he didn't cooperate, how could he save Hiyori and Yato? And how could he do _anything_ while stuck here, too afraid to move?

"Yukine, don't," Hiyori said, but her voice was weak and reed-thin and he knew the threat to her family had rattled her. "Don't come down."

Yato's dad only chuckled. "We'll see how long you're saying that. Well, I'll be off, then. I'll see you in a couple days, kid."

"Hey, wait!" Yukine burst out. "You can't–!"

The phone went dead in his hand. He cursed loudly and dialed back. _Pick up, pick up, pick up_. The phone rang, again and again and again, and he had the heart-stopping realization that there wasn't going to be an answer. Hiyori could be–

"Hey," Hiyori said, her voice strained and thick with tears.

"Hiyori!" Yukine sagged in relief for half a second before remembering that this wasn't over, not by a long-shot. "Are you okay? Did he–?"

"They're gone," she mumbled. "I think he just came because he could, to let us know that he could swoop in and grab me at any time if he wanted to."

"Trying to threaten me into coming down." And trying to threaten Hiyori into influencing him to in order to protect her family. It was a dirty move.

The pause was just long enough to let Yukine know that Hiyori was thinking much the same thing.

"Yeah," she said finally.

"And Yato? Was he…?" Yukine trailed off. Yato obviously wasn't okay, and he didn't know how else to end the question.

"He's alive," she said. "He's alive. But he's not… He's not himself. I couldn't get through to him at all and it's like he's not even alive in there and I can't–" She broke off her disjointed ramblings and took a deep breath. "Well, we'll just have to figure out a way to get him away from his father."

Yukine swallowed hard as an old, familiar weight settled in the pit of his stomach. "Hiyori…"

"I'm–I'm just going to skip the rest of the day and come up to Bishamon's."

"Good idea. You'll be safer up here."

_Until you have to go back home_, was left unspoken.

"Yeah," she said. Her voice softened a little as she added, "It will be okay. We're going to figure this out and save Yato and all be together again."

"I know," said Yukine, but in his heart of hearts, he was finding it more and more difficult to believe.

* * *

Yukine slunk off to his room that evening as soon as Hiyori headed home, exhausted and worn down but buzzing with tension and helpless worry.

Hiyori had run to Takamagahara with Kofuku and Daikoku mere minutes after hanging up, the fear bright in her eyes and her smile wobbly. Hearing Kofuku wail apologies while Daikoku watched in grim silence only accentuated the air of thinly concealed panic weighing them all down. The only bright spot was that Aiha was awake and able to hobble around by herself, but she was holding her arm at an awkward angle and was immediately ushered away to have her blight cleansed and injuries dressed.

Things hadn't improved when Bishamon had come limping back, drenched in blight and blood, wearing an expression of intense frustration mirrored in the eyes of her shinki. Hearing what the sorcerer had been up to while she was recovering from the lightning attack and searching for the culprits did not improve her mood.

Everyone was a mess, shackled in threats and a terrifying potential future that was seeming more likely by the minute.

The ensuing debate had been less than productive. All the planning and brainstorming to keep Hiyori protected and rip Yato out of his dad's clutches amounted to nothing particularly useful. It was bad enough keeping Yukine tied up and running futilely after Yato while he seemed to flicker in and out of existence, but keeping Hiyori and her family safe was a whole other challenge unto itself.

Yukine needed to save Yato, but he had to protect Hiyori too. The time for sitting around and doing nothing was over. By the looks Bishamon had given him, he wondered if she could sense his thoughts. He wouldn't be surprised if he had extra eyes watching him now.

That was why he waited until late at night before sneaking out. He had made it a point to explore the mansion and figure out the backways and layout, and his preparation came in handy now.

He was quiet and stealthy, afraid that someone might still be awake and set to guard him, but he made it out unmolested and darted across the lawn to hide in the shadows at the edge of the property.

"Nora!" he whisper-shouted into the darkness. No hesitation tonight. He knew who he was looking for, and he didn't have time to play games.

"Ready to come with me?" Nora asked, sliding out of the shadows in front of him in one fluid motion.

He jumped despite himself. Even knowing she was there never quite prepared him for her sudden appearances. Her face shone white in the moonlight, eyes glinting coolly from the shadows etched across them like a mask.

"I don't…know…"

She made a sound something like a sigh. "Your indecision is getting old."

"I need to protect Hiyori, but I need to save Yato too. I'd have to go with you to save Hiyori, but Yato…"

"We'll get you sooner or later," she said. "You might as well come now before Father loses patience and things get ugly. You're lucky he's found your resistance amusing so far."

Yukine's lip curled in derision. _Amusing_. Just like he'd found it amusing to watch Yato slowly dying as the blight ate him from the inside out. Unforgivable.

"If I went with you and let you use me, Yato would die," he said flatly. "We might kill a lot of people first, but the heavens would come after us with a vengeance. And if I don't go, Bishamon is going to get a lucky hit in eventually while he doesn't have a shinki to defend himself. The only way to save him is to get him _away _from his dad, but I don't know how to do that either. You have to help me."

Nora's expression didn't change. "Do I, now." It wasn't quite a question. "I already told you–"

"Do you really hate him that much?" Yukine burst out, clenching his fists at his sides.

She tilted her head as she considered it. "I do hate him," she said finally. "He hates me too."

"But you love him too, don't you?"

She shrugged. "We were family. And then he left and chose you over me."

"He…still cares about you too," Yukine said through gritted teeth, every word pulled out of him with great reluctance.

Nora arched an eyebrow. "He's made his position quite clear."

"You were together since the beginning, right?" This was shaky ground since Yato had told Yukine very little about his relationship to Nora, but he thought back to the night he and Hiyori had hidden in the shadows and watched in shock as Yato released Nora. He could take a few guesses. Nora's expression didn't change, which he took as agreement. "Even though he hates what he did with you and wants to break away from anything that has to do with his dad, including you, he still…"

Yukine swallowed hard and hunched his shoulders. "He still thinks about you a lot," he muttered, swallowing down his jealousy. "I can tell. You were like his first friend, the one that was there from the beginning when he had no one else. He still cares."

Leaves rustled in the gentle nighttime breeze, the only noise breaking the silence. Yukine glowered at the ground. This might be cobbled together from half-baked guesses, but he knew that the conclusion he had drawn was true. And he hated it.

"Interesting," Nora said finally, her voice giving nothing away. "An expected ploy to win me over, but you're too proud to say it unless it's true."

"Whatever," he growled. "Will you help save him or not?"

Another long pause.

"The problem is that if you stay away, you can't do anything to help him, and if you get too close, he'll summon you and use you against your will—yes?"

Yukine looked up from the ground and eyed her warily. "Yes. I got through to him for a few seconds last time, so if I could just… But if it doesn't work and he calls me first, that's it. I don't know if I'd be able to get through or not."

"Probably not. Father's hold on him is strong. It's definitely not something you should rely on."

"I'm just afraid… Bishamon is going to end up killing him sooner or later, if he doesn't get her first. Even if she doesn't really want to, she has to defend herself. I could keep him separate from the ayakashi because I don't see him as an enemy and could limit my attacks accordingly, but I think it's too hard for her shinki to hold back like that even if they tried. I could do it, I know I could, but I can't get close. No one even wants me to leave Takamagahara because the risk is too great."

"The real paradox is that you can't help him because you're his shinki and he has a hold on you, but you're the only one who has the chance to get through to him and separate him from the ayakashi without killing him along with it," Nora mused. Yukine's heart fluttered weakly with cautious hope. Maybe she would actually help. "You have to be his shinki, but you also can't be."

"I…guess?" Yukine shifted uncomfortably under her flat, piercing gaze. He got the feeling that she was trying to prod him into an epiphany, but he had no idea what that might be. "What are you trying to say?"

Her steely gaze didn't waver. "How do you feel about becoming a nora?"

* * *

**Note: Ah, Yukine. Back to Nora again? Desperation does make people do crazy things sometimes, and everyone is pretty desperate. What a mess they're getting themselves into, the innocent author says.**


	9. Yukine commits the ultimate betrayal

**.**

**Chapter 9**

_(In which Yukine commits the ultimate betrayal.)_

* * *

"You want me to do _what_?"

Yukine squared his shoulders and met Bishamon's wide-eyed gaze with some difficulty.

"I want you to name me," he repeated, although _'want' _was an awfully strong word in this situation.

Hiyori scooched her chair a little closer in support, but he didn't look over. They had debated this all morning before bringing Kofuku, Daikoku, Bishamon, and Kazuma back into the boardroom to share their plan. Although, admittedly, _'plan' _was a bit of a strong word as well. Yukine very emphatically did _not _want to do this, but he had agonized over it all night and all morning and all afternoon, and the conclusion he had drawn was that he absolutely _could not _sit here helplessly any longer.

The dull uproar from the rest of the table was not unexpected. The worst part wasn't the noise but the silence from the empty chair where Yato should have been. Their war council was missing a member, and the hole he left was louder than the clamor of everyone else talking over each other.

"Look, I can't just sit around anymore," Yukine said. "I have to do something, and what we're doing obviously isn't working. And with Hiyori and her family being targeted… We have to find something that works. I can't leave because Yato's dad will just make him call me, but if I…" He took a deep breath and forced the words out through gritted teeth. "If I have another master and you called me first, it wouldn't work, right?"

Bishamon's brows drew together in a frown and the shock in her eyes faded to a thoughtful gleam. "Well… In theory, maybe. The truth is that in the case of having two masters, Yato would have the natural advantage over me. He feels more strongly that you belong to him than I do, and so do you. If we both tried to summon you under equal conditions, his summons would probably be stronger. And usually you would fight to go to him, which would make it even harder for me to keep a hold of you. But if you're trying to ignore his call, you have a better shot of doing so if I call you first. It might not be as easy as you think, though. He has a pretty strong hold on you, and you're inclined to obey him over me. I think we could do it, as long as I can call you first, but it wouldn't necessarily be easy."

Kazuma sat up ramrod-straight in his chair and gaped at Bishamon. "How can you even be considering this?"

"I'm not, really," she said with a defensive little huff, crossing her arms over her chest. "I was just answering the question. It's still too risky to let the sorcerer have a shot at capturing him. And he hasn't exactly proven himself trustworthy or reliable lately."

Kazuma's eyes were hard and brimming with judgment as he turned his gaze back on Yukine. "I can't believe you'd even suggest such a thing."

Yukine glowered. He didn't need Kazuma's opinions or approval anymore. That ship had sailed. Once, Kazuma's approval would have been secondary only to Yato and Hiyori's, but Yukine didn't need a mentor anymore. How dare Kazuma look at Yukine like he was betraying Yato? Who was he to talk of betrayal?

Unfortunately, he had helped mold Yukine's own rather rigid view of loyalty, and Yukine felt much the same despite himself. Betraying Yato to his dad was terrible enough, but abandoning him to serve another god bordered on unforgivable.

"You had better think about this very carefully before you decide to commit to something so drastic," Daikoku said solemnly.

"I have," Yukine muttered. "It's _all _I've been able to think about."

"I don't like it either, but…" Hiyori bit her lip and looked around the table before glancing back at Yukine. Yukine had not quite managed to make her _agree_ with him, especially when he was having a hard time convincing himself, but she had agreed to abide by his decision and present a unified front to the others. They were running out of better ideas, anyway. Even she knew that. Desperate plans were the only plans left. "We've been discussing it all morning, and it's the only plan we've really come up with that would give Yukine a shot at helping. It's crazy and a lot could go wrong, but we have to save Yato _somehow_."

"I want to save Yato-chan too, but…" Kofuku shook her head at Yukine. "You have to be prepared for the consequences. And even then, it might not work."

It seemed like all Yukine had been facing lately were consequences. The consequences he'd already accrued were horrible enough that one or two more would blend right in. He'd risk piling on some more in the hopes of fixing what he could.

"It's like when you said the only way I could help Yato in the underworld was if I went into Yomi as someone else's shinki," he said. "Bishamon and Hiyori saved me from that before, but no one else is saving Yato this time and I'm… I'm ready. You asked if I was willing to become a nora for him, and I am. I _am_. Whatever it takes."

Just the idea of it sent shivers down his spine, but he couldn't put his pride above Yato's life anymore. He had already ruined Yato—he would risk ruining himself to fix that.

Kofuku nodded once. "You're so brave, Yukki," she said, but she sounded sad. "It's still an awful idea, though. I'm not sure you've really been…thinking clearly lately."

"At this point, I don't know that it would be enough, anyway," Daikoku muttered. "All we're likely to do is make things worse."

Yukine appealed to Bishamon once more, because she was the one he most needed to win over. "Please," he said. "It's only until we rescue Yato. You can release me again then. But I'm his hafuri and it's my job to protect him, and I can't just sit around and wait anymore. We can't wait around until his dad goes after Hiyori, either. If you can get me close, I can fight the ayakashi instead of him. I don't see him as an enemy like the rest of you do. And I get it, you have to because he's trying to kill you too, but one of you is going to kill the other sooner or later and I think I can save you both."

Bishamon opened her mouth, but Kazuma beat her to the punch.

"It's not that simple," he said. "You're still prioritizing Yato's life. And that's your job, but it puts Veena at risk. If it comes down to it, you would choose him over her and that's a dangerous place to put us in during the middle of a battle. I respect how far you're willing to go to protect him, but this isn't in Veena's best interests and I think it's a bad idea."

Yukine ground his teeth together, because Bishamon listened to Kazuma like Yato listened to him. Sure enough, Bishamon gave her hafuri a sidelong look before turning her considering gaze back on Yukine.

"He has a point," she said. "I see how this scheme of yours has the potential to help Yato, but what makes it worth it to _me_?"

Yukine cast a desperate look Hiyori's way, but she looked as lost as he did. They were losing traction and fast. He cursed his short-sightedness. He was so focused on how best to help Yato and Hiyori that he didn't particularly care how it might affect Bishamon, and that callousness would not help him win her over. Of course she would want some reassurance for taking such a big risk.

"Of course I can help you too!" he said quickly. "I mean, Yato's still attacking you, and I'm strong. I'm a hafuri. I can–"

"That's not enough." Bishamon's voice was sympathetic but firm. "I have plenty of shinki to defend myself. I don't doubt you're strong, but I don't really need another weapon, to be honest."

"And you aren't used to working with our team," Kazuma added. "Nor would Veena have enough time to properly assess your abilities before using you. That lack of coordination could prove deadly."

Yukine glared. He did not appreciate Kazuma's interference. There had to be _something_–

He straightened up as a flash of inspiration struck like lightning. "I can be bait," he said confidently.

Bishamon quirked an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

"You're having a hard time finding Yato and the sorcerer unless they find _you_, which puts you at a disadvantage. They're just wearing you down little by little until they're confident they can take you out even without me. But Yato's dad is waiting for me, and he's expecting me to turn myself over in the next couple days to protect Hiyori. If I go down, they'll come to collect me whether you're there or not. He'll think you're trying to pull something like when we turned Yato over, and he won't care because he doesn't think you can.

"Plus, we'll have the element of surprise. Yato's dad will still probably try to get me away from you since this is the best chance he's gotten so far, so they won't just run off and disappear. We'll actually be able to fight, and I _know _I can kill the ayakashi and save Yato."

Bishamon hummed thoughtfully as she mulled over the proposition. She wasn't totally won over yet, but at least she was considering it.

"Sounds dangerous," Daikoku grumbled.

"It's _already _dangerous," Yukine said. "And if we don't do something fast, Hiyori is going to be in a lot of trouble too."

Hiyori shifted in her chair, guilt tightening her features, and Yukine tried to give her a reassuring smile that probably looked more like a grimace. It wasn't her fault. Anyway, maybe this was the impetus he had needed to take a real risk and actually _do _something.

"Too risky," Kazuma said. "It's still putting Veena in a bad position."

"Then again, it _has _been hard to find Yato-chan and keep him in one place, and the sorcerer is even more elusive," Kofuku mused, tapping her finger against her lips.

Bishamon nodded slowly, and Kazuma's eyes widened. He launched into an impassioned attack against the idea, listing off half a dozen reasons why it would be a terrible idea. Hiyori argued for the plan, despite her obvious reluctance—she and Yukine had already gone back and forth all morning raising concerns and counterpoints, and they were both committed to the scheme despite their reservations. Kofuku alternated between expressing tentative agreement and wailing about what a terrible thing it would be, while Daikoku looked on in grim silence with lowered brows. Bishamon was fairly quiet as well, gaze darting between the players as she considered her options.

Yukine was _sure _he could bring her around, but Kazuma was just so stubborn and wouldn't quit. One small corner of his mind whispered that he was the same, that he had just as adamantly warned Yato against running to Bishamon's aid against the heavens, but it was drowned out by the clamor condemning Kazuma for getting in his way.

He drew in a breath to spit out another defense wreathed more in spite than logic, before a conversation half-forgotten—or, to be more accurate, a conversation he had done his best to forget—sprang to mind and his trump card appeared like magic.

"You promised Yato that you'd take care of me, didn't you?" he demanded, turning on Bishamon. The implication that that involved offering him a name once his master was dead hung heavy in the air.

"How did you–?" Bishamon shook her head, surprise melting to resignation. "I did," she agreed tiredly. "Although he's not gone yet."

"He will be if we don't do anything. It's not like he can take care of me himself right now."

Yukine pressed his wobbling lips together and lifted his chin. He met Bishamon's gaze defiantly while fighting back the burning of tears in his eyes. She stared back for several long heartbeats, and he saw it in her eyes that he was going to become a nora.

He wasn't sure if he was more relieved or terrified.

"Right," she said. "Let's do it."

The victory tasted bitter in Yukine's mouth as he rose stiffly to his feet, heart rattling the bars of his rib cage in desperation. The pounding in his ears nearly drowned out Kazuma's protests. He rounded the table and stood before Bishamon, every muscle tight and ready to run. She pushed her chair back and stood, mouth drawn in a tight line.

"Are you really prepared to do this?" she asked.

"You don't have to," Hiyori whispered. She slid around the edge of the table to stand by him in a show of support. Tears welled in her eyes. "Are you sure you want to?"

_Don't_, Yukine wanted to say. He needed Hiyori on board to make sure he followed through with this. He needed her support to keep from turning on his heel and running. She couldn't offer him a way to back out, not now.

"I'm sure," he croaked, his tongue thick against his desert-dry mouth.

"He's going to blight you," Kazuma warned. His hands were balled into white-knuckled fists at his sides. "And he'll sting you like crazy. There's no way he won't. Plus his emotions have been all over the place. And his loyalty is still to Yato."

Yukine kept his mouth shut, his conscience itching at the hard-to-reach place between his shoulder blades like so many ayakashi eyeballs. He didn't dare mention that he was _already _covered in blight since he knew Kazuma would seize on it in an instant. He didn't want to risk giving Bishamon another reason to change her mind.

"I know," Bishamon said tiredly. "Do you want to keep _Yuki _or take a different name? I can use a different character and your vessel name will be different, or we can do something entirely new."

Yukine hesitated. His first instinct was to say he needed something as drastically different from his real name as possible to remind himself that that wasn't _him_, but he also couldn't imagine going by anything other than the name Yato had bestowed upon him. He wavered with indecision and cast a pleading look Hiyori's way.

She swallowed hard. "It's up to you, but… I can't think of you as anything other than Yukine."

Yukine nodded sharply. That would have to be enough.

"Keep Yuki," he said.

Hiyori slipped warm fingers between his own and held on tight. He squeezed back until his knuckles were white and her bones were creaking.

Bishamon nodded and raised her hand towards him. He flinched back despite himself, and only stood his ground because of Hiyori pressed against his side. The blood roared in his ears, drowning out the damning words. His eyes followed Bishamon's hand, like watching a viper and waiting for it to strike.

He felt the exact moment that it did. He could _feel _Bishamon sink her teeth into his soul and leash it tight. What should have been a blessing was now venom coursing through his veins. The name stuck to his skin, even when he panicked and tried to rub it off. It had adhered itself to the back of his right hand—_like Kazuma_, his mind whispered with a hysterical little giggle—in an ugly red stain. It crept beneath his skin and wrapped around his chest, constricting tighter and tighter. It was smothering him.

He didn't realize, until Hiyori grabbed his hands tight to stop their scratching and he was left staring at her mouth opening and closing soundlessly past the roaring in his ears, that he was shaking and gasping for breath. It was all so disconnected, like he didn't quite know who he was anymore and wasn't really that branded, broken boy shivering in the middle of the floor. But then everything slammed back into him all at once, and he _was _gasping and shaking and consumed with panic.

He had committed the ultimate betrayal and ruined himself beyond redemption. Yato might take a more blasé attitude and shrug of the shoulders in a nora's direction, but to Yukine becoming a nora was the worst of the worst. Turning him into something a little less than human.

But this was _for _Yato. It was to protect him. Yukine grasped that lifeline until it crystallized in his mind, something solid and tangible. How could he justify betraying Yato to his father if he wasn't also willing to betray himself?

He held his breath until he went lightheaded and had to suck in a deep breath. It pushed some of the panic back and snapped the world into focus once more. He couldn't fall apart if he wanted to save Yato, so he pressed his lips together and raised his chin and blinked back his tears in defiance.

Panic was one of the most infectious emotions, and it had already sent its shockwaves through the room. Everyone was crowded around, and a jumble of concerned voices asked if he was okay and debated what they should do.

"I'm fine," he rasped.

The ugly red slashes on his hand looked wrong. He pulled down his sleeve to cover them and tried not to look.

"You're not fine," Bishamon observed flatly.

There was a slight pinched crease between her brows that looked strangely familiar and left Yukine with an out-of-place sense of déjà vu. It took a moment to recognize that it was similar to the look Yato sometimes wore when Yukine was upset, if only for a second before he smoothed his expression back out.

It slapped Yukine across the face and left him breathless. He didn't want Bishamon feeling his emotions, poking around his mind, laying claim to him like he was hers. It felt invasive and made his skin crawl. As annoying as it could sometimes be with Yato, he had grown used to it and even started taking some comfort in it from time to time. But that was something reserved _only _for Yato, and Yukine hated sharing.

"Maybe this is a bad idea," Hiyori said, twisting her hands together. "Maybe–"

"It's fine!" he said more sharply than he intended, and Hiyori snapped her mouth shut. He winced and took a deep breath to steady himself. "It will be fine," he said more evenly. "I just want to take care of this as soon as possible."

A ring of worried faces stared back at him, but everyone was quiet now. They probably didn't know what to do with him or how to comfort him or where to go from here, but he couldn't blame them. Neither did he.

"Right." Bishamon was watching him with hooded eyes, and he couldn't quite put his finger on what had changed in the way she looked at him but he knew something had. "Shall we see your vessel form, then? Usually I would have summoned you right at the end of the naming, but you were having such a strong reaction that I cut it short."

Yukine squared his shoulders and nodded, even though actually being summoned and used by a new master seemed like the final betrayal of accepting a new name. His weapon form would determine how he would go about saving Yato, so they needed to know.

The name that slipped from between Bishamon's lips was unfamiliar and strange, and Yukine didn't even realize it was supposed to be his until he felt the familiar tug of a summons. His first instinct was to resist because it was _wrong_, but after fighting it for a few seconds, he grudgingly relented. The magic felt slick and oily against his skin, drawing out and tempering his soul to a brittle point. It made him feel like he was being broken and reshaped, and he didn't want to be anything other than what he was. He dug in his heels.

"Oh," said Bishamon. "That…could be a little problematic."

The magic faded and slunk away in a huff. Yukine felt a small thrill of excitement. His form was similar enough to his _true _one that it would have felt almost comfortable if it was Yato's hands wrapped around the hilts instead of Bishamon's. He was drawn out into two long blades again, even if the handles were smoother and more traditional rather than rough and wrapped in bandages. This was good. This was what he knew. This was the form Yato had chosen for him.

"Why?" he asked, practically crowing in triumph that was dampened slightly by the strange, icky feeling of speaking into Bishamon's mind. He wasn't used to communicating with anyone but Yato like that. "This is great! This is the form I'm comfortable with, so it'll be easier to face off against Yato."

"For you, maybe," she said with a sigh. "I haven't fought with these kind of swords in centuries. I was hoping for something a little more long-ranged to use against the sorcerer."

Yukine shrugged it off. "It'll be fine. I know how to fight like this. Yato taught me a lot. And being able to go in at close range will make it easier for me to knock the ayakashi out of him."

Bishamon hummed noncommittally as she examined the blades. The scrutiny made Yukine uncomfortable.

"He's…pretty much the same," Hiyori said slowly, her whole face scrunching up. "Is it supposed to be like that?"

"Not really." Bishamon shook her head and pursed her lips. "Shinki are supposed to take a form useful to the god that names them, and this would not be my preferred form. I suppose he just has such a strong sense of who he is and such unshakable loyalty to Yato that he was able to warp the magic to adjust to him instead of to me."

"I'm warning you, this is how it's going to be," Kazuma cautioned. "He's Yato's hafuri first of all, and that bond will be much stronger than any he makes to you. It's going to cause problems."

"I know," Bishamon said. "I suppose we'll have to make do."

"Can you change me back?" Yukine asked. Familiar form or not, touching Bishamon's mind so intimately was beyond uncomfortable. Her hands were much too small and dry and not disgustingly sweaty, and he just couldn't stand them.

"You're going to have to be able to stand it, comfortable or not," she warned, as if she knew exactly what he was thinking. It chafed at him that she actually _did _have a much better idea of what he was feeling than she really should. "This is what you chose, and it's too late to back out now."

"I know," he groused. "I want to be able to talk to everyone, not just you."

She hummed in the back of her throat, a flat, skeptical sound, but complied. "Yuki."

There was a terrifying instant where the soft lilt of an 'h' whispered at the end of his name and he thought she was going to call him Yukiha, but she snapped her mouth shut around the last syllable instead. It was bad enough that he wasn't quite Yato's Yukine anymore—he didn't want to take on Bishamon's mark any more than he already had.

He stepped away from Bishamon automatically as he materialized, before catching himself. She regarded him with cool, guarded eyes, like she was picking through his mind to uncover all his secrets. He looked away.

"I don't know how well this is going to work," she mused aloud.

"It's going to have to," he snapped back.

"Are you okay, Yukine?" Hiyori whispered, inching a little closer as if to seek comfort or, perhaps, offer protection.

Yukine let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding, and it whistled softly between his teeth as he deflated just a little. _Yukine_, she had called him, like he still had the right to that name despite everything. Whether or not he deserved it, he was going to hold on with everything he had.

"Yeah," he said. "Now we just have to save Yato."

"The sorcerer threatened to go after Hiyorin after tomorrow, right?" Kofuku asked. She exchanged a troubled look with Daikoku. "That's not much time."

"We don't need much time," Yukine said with more confidence than he felt. "We're going to go out to meet him when he expects and catch him by surprise."

"She means that we won't have much time to integrate you into the team," Kazuma said. His eyes shone bright with disapproval and his mouth was pinched into a tight line. "Ideally, god and shinki would take some time to get used to each other before jumping into a life-or-death fight, but we don't have that kind of time."

Yukine shrugged. He had no real intention of integrating into their team or getting any more used to working with Bishamon than he had to. They needed just enough communication to team up and save Yato, and that was about it.

"We'll want to keep this as quiet as possible, both to maintain the element of surprise and because I'm sure you don't want this being spread around," Bishamon said, sitting back down in her chair and steepling her hands on the tabletop. "But we'll still need backup. Kuraha for independent movement and mobility, and he's already more aware of the situation than most. And Karuha and Kazuha for long-range attacks."

Yukine stiffened and glared her down. "Don't shoot him! _I'll _handle it."

"Not for Yato," she said impatiently. "For defense against the sorcerer."

He rolled his eyes. What was it with the gods freaking out about shinki getting close to Yato's dad? Even Yato got all weird about it and had taken hits himself rather than letting Yukine do his job. In his opinion, it was easier to just get in there and take a slice, but he wasn't sure he could bring himself to do much but defense while the creep's life was bound with Yato's.

"Aiha," Kazuma advised. "Yukine's form will necessitate close combat, and you'll want armor against Yato if you have to get in close."

Bishamon tapped her fingers fitfully against the table. "I suppose… She's still injured from the sorcerer's attack, but we don't have much of a choice."

"It's minor. Nothing like Yomi. She'll do fine."

"But who will guard Hiyori?" Yukine demanded.

Kofuku and Daikoku had hung around her house last night while Aiha recovered, but they couldn't stand guard forever. They had important duties of their own to attend to.

"Kinuha," Bishamon said. "I won't have much opportunity to use her anyway while I'm using you. Hopefully the twins will be enough to provide long-range defense and offense. And she's more mature and level-headed than Aiha, so she should do better handling it by herself."

Hiyori frowned. "I could just–"

"_No_," everyone said at once.

"It's too dangerous, and Yato's dad will use you as leverage if he gets his hands on you," Yukine added.

Hiyori nodded grudgingly, but there was a gleam to her eyes that let Yukine know they really ought to keep an eye on her. He couldn't really blame her. Being locked up and unable to help had driven him to the brink of insanity, but it would really be safer if she wasn't in a position where Yato's dad could use her against them.

Kofuku and Daikoku tried to reason with Hiyori, but Yukine was watching Kazuma as he leaned in close to Bishamon and asked, "How bad is it?"

She shrugged, and he brushed aside the golden hair curling about her neck. He sucked in a harsh breath at the purple stain inking her skin.

"That's bad!" he said. "It's not just from the naming."

"Of course not," she replied, brushing his hand away. "He's been making hard decisions for weeks. There was bound to be blight involved."

Yukine squirmed guiltily but summoned up a scowl for Kazuma's benefit. "Calm down. We can just do an ablution."

Bishamon turned her solemn gaze to him. "Are you ready for an ablution?"

"Huh? Sure. Yato wasn't here, but now you are so it should be fine."

"No," she said. "If we cleanse you, will you be at peace enough that you won't just start stinging us again? It's not worth it if we end up right back where we started within a few minutes."

Yukine opened his mouth, closed it again. He looked away. In truth, he still felt terrible about betraying Yato the first time and guilty about all the people who were dying and downright inconsolable about becoming a nora. Until all that was fixed, his ongoing guilt and unsettled emotions would probably continue to sting his master. Masters.

Bishamon winced.

"You need to get a hold of yourself," Kazuma rebuked him sharply. "You need to manage your reactions so that you don't sting your master."

Yukine met his gaze with a hard glare of his own. "Just because you justify the things you do as protecting Bishamon doesn't mean they aren't also wrong, no matter why you did them. I did what I thought I had to, but that doesn't mean I think it's _right_."

Kazuma's eyes widened, and surprise knocked the fight right out of them like he'd been slapped across the face. Yukine didn't have the heart to count it as a victory. It just made him feel tired and sad. They were both such broken creatures.

"Play nice. No squabbling." Bishamon rose to her feet. Her brisk, no-nonsense tone swept aside the quarrel without giving the shinki a chance to protest. "We have work to do."


	10. Yukine is not adjusting well

**.**

**Chapter 10**

_(In which Yukine is not adjusting well, Bishamon is trying her best, and they take their best shot at rescuing Yato together.)_

* * *

Yukine stormed out of the makeshift training room—too many people were liable to see him in Bishamon's hands like the newest pet added to her collection if they tested his new form outside, so instead they'd picked the biggest, most private room they could find inside the mansion and locked everyone else out—and left Bishamon and her shinki shaking their heads after him. He didn't care what they thought.

Hiyori followed, hurrying to keep up with his brisk pace. "Yukine…"

"I don't want to talk about it," he growled.

He shook his head as if he could shake Bishamon right out of it, and the resulting failure only soured his mood further. That Bishamon hadn't been on board with this idea from the beginning and he'd had to practically beg her to name him did nothing to soften his uncharitable thoughts.

Hiyori sighed and followed him back to his room, still gnawing on the inside of her cheek. "Just–"

"Who do they think they are?" he burst out, slamming the door shut behind them and clenching his hands into fists. "Where does Bishamon get off acting like she owns me? Or Kazuma acting like he can just tell me what to do? Like I'm one of _them_?"

The session had been nothing but disastrous from start to finish. Yukine quickly grew frustrated with Bishamon trying to wield him strangely and the other shinki getting in his way and Kazuma ordering him around.

_"I'm not Yato,"_ Bishamon had cautioned._ "That's why shinki take a form useful to the god. I'm not going to use you the same way. You have to learn to be part of a team. And you might be Yato's exemplar, but Kazuma is mine. While you work with us, you follow his instructions. He has the authority under me. If you want us to help you help Yato, you have to do it our way."_

It left Yukine seething. He didn't belong to them, and had no intention of blindly following Kazuma's orders after everything. He would save Yato himself. This was only a temporary measure. He only needed them to keep him out of Yato's grasp until the ayakashi was killed. He still belonged to Yato—he wasn't one of _them_.

"But Yukine," Hiyori said in a voice that was almost a whisper, her eyes shining with pity, "you _are _now, aren't you?"

Yukine drew up short, his relentless pacing effectively stilled. Even his breathing seemed to stop. Maybe the world even stopped turning.

He could complain all he wanted, rage against the unfairness of it all, but no extenuating circumstances could change what he had done. What he had become. He was still a nora, no matter how pretty his intentions. Even _'temporary' _left scars.

"Yukine? Yukine, breathe!"

He blinked at Hiyori in bewilderment as she appeared in front of him as if by magic and shook him gently by the shoulders. Why did she look so worried?

She guided him to sit down on the bed, and only then did he realize that he wasn't still after all but trembling like a leaf in a windstorm.

"I don't know if I can do this," he rasped. His voice grated along his throat like sandpaper.

"Of course you can." The worry on Hiyori's face was replaced with steely determination. Her grip tightened on his shoulders and she held him firm. "We already talked this through. This is the best chance we have."

"I–I know that, but…"

Her eyes softened. "You told me not to let you back out, even if you started having second thoughts. It's hard, I know, and you're sacrificing so much to make this work. And if anyone can do it, it's you. You've been so brave this whole time, and now we're so close."

"I don't feel brave," Yukine mumbled. Hiyori blurred and wavered, and he blinked fast. "I…I'm terrified."

"Of course you are," she said. "You'd be foolish not to be. The bravest people aren't the ones who don't feel fear, but the ones who overcome it. Things are going to finally start going our way—I can feel it. Just you wait. You just have to work with Bishamon a little, and tomorrow you'll save Yato and you can have Bishamon release you. Just like that. This won't last much longer—we're going to win. We're going to be okay. All of us."

Yukine wanted to believe her. He wanted to get caught up in her determination and faith. He wanted to forget about Yato's plight and his new status as a nora and all the people who were dying and the fact that even if they could save Yato now, the heavens would continue to target his dad. He wanted that black-and-white optimism.

He wanted to be able to hide his worries as well as Hiyori, because he knew that she knew all of these things too.

"Yeah," he said with a wobbly smile. "I'll save him for sure."

He didn't have any other choice. This needed to be done, no matter the complications hovering at the periphery. Failure was not an option. Neither was turning back.

Hiyori smiled back, and if her smile was a little wobbly too, he pretended not to notice. "Of course you will."

Yukine swallowed hard and nodded, and Hiyori sat with him quietly while he worked at calming himself. He focused on his breathing: in and out, in and out. Gradually, it slowed, along with his heartbeat. As the tension eased from his muscles, heavy exhaustion took its place. Being so wound up constantly seemed to sap his energy when he wasn't paying attention.

His hand dipped into his pocket, and his fingers ran idly across the phone tucked away there. He pulled it out and stared down at the tangible reminder of the god he needed to save. More than anything, he wanted to give this back to its rightful owner.

He flipped it open and fiddled around with it, remembering how Yato spent afternoons glued to the screen while harassing Hiyori or answered calls with enthusiasm for his silly jobs. The screen flickered to life, and his eyes widened as he read the time there.

"It's almost ten!" he said. "Your parents are going to be worried!"

Hiyori smiled a little sheepishly. "It's easy to lose track of time up here, huh? It's okay. I wanted to stay and make sure you were okay."

Yukine pressed his lips together and swallowed down the lump in his throat. "Thanks," he mumbled. "I'll be fine. You should go home."

She squeezed his hand before sliding off the bed. "I guess so. But you have my number. Call me if you need anything."

Yukine followed her out of the room, feeling a bit like a lost puppy as he trailed after her down the hall to pick up Kinuha, who was still playing bodyguard. He avoided the eyes of everyone he passed and wished he was back in his room, but he also wasn't quite ready to be alone. Maybe Hiyori realized that, because she bit her lip and lingered in the doorway until he forced a smile and said goodnight.

He hated watching her walk away. It was bad enough that Yato was gone. He wanted her to stay.

He slunk back to his room with his tail between his legs and flopped down on his bed with his face buried in the blankets. There was something satisfying about having to fight just a little for each warm, stale breath past the fabric bunched around his mouth. It gave him something to focus on, maybe. It hurt.

Not the breathing, really. Just everything.

He wondered if that tight ache in his chest was what Yato felt when his shinki's emotions started going haywire, if that was what he meant when he fisted his hand absently above his chest and looked at Yukine and said, _What's wrong? You're being a real pain today_.

That hurt too, so Yukine focused on his muffled breathing—_in and out, in and out_—and let it lull him halfway to sleep. That hazy place somewhere halfway between wakefulness and sleep was not usually comforting, except that he was half-convinced he could feel Yato sitting on the bed next to him, swinging his legs like a child and scrolling idly through his phone while rambling about capypers and looking for messages from Hiyori.

He was startled out of his half-formed dreams by a knock, and the door was swinging open before he had the chance to sit up and blink at the intruder groggily.

"You should eat something," Kuraha said. Leaving the door open, he crossed the floor to put a tray of food on the bedside table. "It's been a long day, and you'll need your strength for tomorrow."

A queasy sort of feeling roiled in Yukine's stomach as he eyed the food with distaste. "I'm not hungry."

"Eat," Kuraha advised. "You'll thank yourself for it later. Besides, if your master is still aware in there somewhere, you wouldn't want to worry him, would you?"

He looked like he wanted to say something else but bit it back with some difficulty, which meant he had more self-restraint than Kazuma on the topic. It undoubtedly had to do with Bishamon, but Yukine didn't want to think about her. She wasn't his master, not really. Not for long.

Still, Kuraha knew how to get his attention. Yukine didn't know how much Yato could feel from him anymore, but he definitely didn't want to make this any worse than it had to be. He passed over most of the food, but took the roll from beside the bowl of soup and began picking at it.

Kuraha nodded his approval and turned away. He made it to the doorway before turning back.

"I know…it's been hard," he said, choosing his words carefully. "And turning to us for help wasn't easy and wasn't your first choice. But we'll help you, you know. It's okay to work with us instead of fighting us every step of the way."

Yukine grunted a sound of acknowledgement and poked at the bread until Kuraha sighed and slipped back out of the room, pulling the door shut behind him.

Yukine nibbled at the roll and squished fluffy bread between his fingers until it coalesced into a doughy lump. The bite stuck in his throat as he remembered smuggling bread to Yato's room just days before.

_"I feel so special, getting dinner in bed."_

Yukine swallowed the memories down with his halfhearted snack, but it still felt a little like he was choking. He burrowed beneath the covers and curled into a ball. The hard crust of the roll crunched in his fist, sprinkling the sheets with a liberal helping of crumbs.

It was too much remembering Yato like this, worn down and upset from his dad's phone call but smiling like his life depended on it. A choked, animal sound shuddered in Yukine's chest and crawled up his throat like a living thing, and he curled ever tighter. He shouldn't cry, it would hurt Yato, but he didn't even know if Yato was still himself buried deep down somewhere beneath the ayakashi. He didn't know if Yato could feel him at all anymore.

_"I can't tell if he's upset or it's just the blight eating at me. It hurts too much to feel his pain past it anymore. I can see it in his face, but I don't feel it the way I used to. It's lonely."_

_Oh_, but it _was_. Sometimes it had been quite annoying that Yato could feel his emotions, sometimes a touch invasive, but now that it was—or might be—gone, it left Yukine feeling like a piece of himself was missing. Like he was entirely alone now, when before there had always been someone there.

But that was almost preferable to imagining Yato trapped inside his own body, able to feel everything and helpless to do anything about it.

_"I would rather die."_

Yukine couldn't bear to think what Yato's dad might be doing to him now. And of the people who were dying because of his decision. And of Hiyori, threatened and in danger.

And the fact that he was a nora now, had betrayed his master again and again and finally taken on a new name to seal the deal. He was a broken shinki. He didn't want to know what Yato would think when he realized what he'd done.

_"I hope you don't find someone you like better than me!"_

What if it was all for nothing and Yukine couldn't even save Yato after all this? What if Yato was _gone_? Gone for good? What if he couldn't be rescued from the ayakashi or Bishamon killed him?

What if they saved him and he died anyway when the heavens found his dad?

_"I don't think this is going to end well… But you're a tough kid. You'll be okay."_

Yukine was afraid that only one of those things was true.

So he wrapped himself up in his blanket cocoon and cried, with only a crumbly bread roll for company. He wanted to _believe_, to have faith that things would be alright, but Yato was the one with the stupid, childish optimism and the world was looking gray and bleak without it.

He cried for a long time before someone knocked on the door. By that point, he had been reduced to sniffles and that empty ache that came when the tears ran out but the pain was all still there.

"Yuki?" Bishamon asked hesitantly, her voice muffled by the door. "Can I come in?"

Yukine pulled the blanket over his head and didn't answer, hoping she'd go away. Unfortunately, he heard the door creak open and then shut again. He stayed still and hoped she'd think he was asleep. Sure, the lights were still on, but everyone knew he was afraid of the dark.

"Are you okay?" Bishamon let out a breath. "No, that's a silly question. I know you aren't."

Right, because he had let her name him and now she could feel him too. Something sharp and bitter welled up in his chest.

"Go away," he rasped.

He had the presence of mind to feel a little bad about hurting her, but it was hard to care too much about a few aches and pains when Yato was…

Was _what_?

Yukine would have given anything to know.

"I can't do that," Bishamon said quietly. Her footsteps tapped across the floor and paused by the bed. "I know you're upset." When he didn't answer, she sighed. "I know you want Yato and you don't want to belong to anyone else, but…for as long as you're my shinki, I also have a responsibility to you. Whatever the circumstances, whatever our differences, we're family now. So let me stay with you."

Yukine pulled the covers up just a little and peeked out, sharp words building on the tip of his tongue. Bishamon winced at the expression on his face and stepped away from the bed. Instead, she pulled up a chair from the small table across the room and sat herself down in it a couple paces away.

"I'm not trying to take his place," she said. "I'll stay over here. But for as long as you bear the name I gave you, however unwillingly, I will be here."

Yukine didn't know what to say to that. That kind of intimacy felt uncomfortable, like he was betraying Yato again by accepting it. He didn't like it. But there was also nothing he could do about it yet, so he said nothing.

Bishamon seemed to take his silence as encouragement. "Things will get better," she said with confidence Yukine felt was unwarranted, especially given her overall pessimistic view of the situation that she hadn't bothered to hide up until now. "Tomorrow is the best chance we'll have. We finally have the element of surprise. You're our secret weapon. We'll get him back, and then…"

She trailed off. And then what? She'd release Yukine and Yato would be magically okay and everything would go back to the way it was before? She would leave Yato's dad alone and he would leave Yato alone? Just like that?

Yukine could see, from the hesitation in her eyes, that she didn't know how to end that statement either.

"What a mess," she mumbled under her breath, deflating a little. She caught him looking and smiled halfheartedly. "I guess you don't want to hear that unless it's true, huh? But it could be. It _is _our best shot. We're going to do our best."

If Yukine felt like talking to her, he'd say that she had been claiming to do her best this whole time and hadn't managed to accomplish much.

"You're going so far, giving up so much… If anyone can help us finally win, it's you." Why did she sound like she was trying to soothe a wounded animal? Especially when she thought all his choices were wrong in the first place? "It's okay to be upset. You've been through a lot. But you're being so brave and–"

Yukine sat up in a flurry of blankets and glared. Bishamon's mouth snapped shut with an audible click.

"Everyone keeps saying that," he said angrily. His fists tightened into balls, crumpling sheets and crunching stale bread. "You say that, but you're forgetting that it's because _Yato _is. He's the one who almost died to save me from myself in the beginning, who burst right into your deathtrap to rescue Hiyori when he thought you'd kidnapped her, who never told you the truth about what happened to your shinki to protect Kazuma, who stood up to the heavens for you. Of course I would do anything for him—he would do anything for me. For _us_. No matter how annoying he is and how self-centered he can seem, he's always sacrificed himself for us. But when _he's _in trouble, suddenly things are too _hard _or _complicated_. It's not _fair_."

Bishamon leaned back in the chair, her brows knitting together in an absent frown as she studied him. She was quiet for a long time, thoroughly uncowed by his glower.

"Even Yato has his limits," she said finally. "He can be an idiot, but he's not stupid. There are things he wouldn't do for us. But I guess that's irrelevant to your real point. To be fair, we _do _help him. You became his hafuri and have protected him more times than I can count, Hiyori made him a shrine and is constantly looking for ways to help, Kazuma tried to support him on and off for centuries while hiding it from me, and I went to Yomi to try saving him. It isn't that we don't—or won't—do everything we can for him when it comes down to it.

"But you're right. He's done a lot for us, and he deserves to have us do the same for him. I know it seems like nothing is happening because you aren't seeing results, but we _have _been doing our best."

"Maybe that's not good enough," Yukine said, but his voice was small and brittle now.

"Maybe it's not," Bishamon conceded. "But it's the best we've got. And now we've got one shot to hit the sorcerer hard and take him by surprise. If we mess this up, it might be over, even if we keep trying. But if we get it right, we have a real chance. You can't go into it believing the worst. This is _the best _chance we've had since we lost him again. The _best_.

"And… Even if… If things _don't _work out…I promised Yato that I would take care of you."

Yukine bristled at the idea of a decidedly temporary state of affairs becoming distressingly permanent. "I don't need you to _take care _of me," he snarled.

_"Maybe it's just wishful thinking. I want to think that he'll be okay, even when I'm gone."_

Yukine didn't want another master, didn't want anyone else trying to _take care _of him. If Yato was gone, then…

Yukine didn't know what then.

Bishamon seemed unfazed by his outburst. "I know you don't want to think about that," she said gently. "It's a scary _what-if_. And you don't want some new master barging in to take his place. I get it. But if something _does _happen, you'll have to pick yourself up and move on, even if you're grieving. It's hard to think about, but… It wouldn't be a betrayal to Yato, you know, to take a new master once he's gone. It's not a betrayal to him to keep living and learn to be happy again. He would understand. He would want that for you.

"So if it does come to that…" She leaned forward, amethyst eyes sparkling earnestly as she searched Yukine's face. "You already have a place here, now. I'll release you if we get Yato back. But if things go wrong, you can stay. You will still have a place here, with us. I know it's not what you want and I know it wouldn't be the same, but it would be yours."

The urge to scream or slap her or run away faded to a dull ache behind Yukine's eyes. Her face was too earnest, too open and honest. As much as it wasn't what he wanted to hear, she meant it. And although he still didn't quite trust her all the way, he couldn't help a grudging kind of gratitude and respect. In this moment, she reminded him a little of Yato.

_"You're going to live. And you're going to find a new master to take care of you, and you'll learn to love them too and make a new family."_

Yukine's lips trembled and hot tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He bit down on the inside of his cheek until he tasted the copper tang of blood, hoping to quell the traitorous tears. It was a kind offer—especially considering that taking him as her shinki had not been Bishamon's idea in the first place—but it only reminded him of what he stood to lose. Of the person who was missing, the one who had made that promise first and kept it the best.

He hesitated, but then reached out and slipped his hand into hers as an olive branch. The best peace offering they were going to get in this room tonight.

"You're right," he said, his voice wavering. "It wouldn't be the same."

_"You're going to move on and be happy with someone else, but don't you forget that I loved you first. And I loved you the most."_

"But thank you."

* * *

Yukine stood stiff and still and silent out in a grassy lawn tucked in the furthest reaches of the park. The rain—not that he'd known it had been raining constantly, since he hadn't been allowed down to the lower realm and Takamagahara's weather was anything but inclement—had left it a bit marshy, which was probably why no one was hanging around. Just as well. Near Shore bystanders would only get in the way. It was better than setting the stage for a confrontation in the streets, where there would be scores of oblivious pedestrians strolling through the line of fire and lots of buildings and side streets for Yato's dad to set traps or hide ayakashi. Better a wide open playing field that wouldn't be hiding any surprises.

Not that Yukine could take credit for choosing the terrain. He hadn't particularly cared where they faced off against Yato's dad, as long as they had the chance to get Yato back. Bishamon and Kazuma had been the ones to plan strategy.

He cast a sidelong glance at Bishamon, who had positioned herself to his right, already equipped with the shinki she'd brought into the scheme. Her head swiveled back and forth as she scanned the area with Kazuma's help, on high alert for Yato's dad. She was too busy keeping a lookout and muttering to Kazuma to look his way.

When Yukine had woken up this morning, stiff-necked and exhausted, she had been gone. He would have thought that he dreamed the whole encounter, except that the overhead light had been turned off and the lamp turned on, and the battered bread roll had been pried out of his fingers and removed along with the tray of cold, untouched food.

He didn't know how he felt about it, honestly. It was an uncomfortable itch under his skin. But Yato would be back soon, in just a few more minutes, and it wouldn't matter anymore.

"Are you sure they'll come when we're here?" Kuraha rumbled from where he was lounging in lion form on Yukine's other side. If you could call it lounging when he looked ready to pounce at any second. "They might try waiting to get him on his own."

Yukine made an impatient sound in the back of his throat. "They'll come."

It had only been a few minutes, really. He could almost feel the prickling sensation of eyes watching him already. Oh, Yato's dad knew they were here. Nora had been nothing if not implacable in her surveillance. Given how infrequently Yukine had left Takamagahara over the past weeks and how badly they wanted to get their hands on him, there was no way they would pass up this chance.

"This is the first time they've had a shot at capturing Yuki," Bishamon agreed, her eyes still darting about. "They know that if he slips through their fingers now, they might not get another chance. They'll risk facing us for it. Honestly, they probably don't even think we're a real threat after the last disaster. It's not like they haven't been running circles around us from the get-go. I think the sorcerer is starting to get cocky."

Yukine nodded, because he thought that was true. If he hadn't asked Bishamon to name him, there probably wasn't too much she could do to protect him out here in the open. In theory there was, but previous experience suggested that she and her crew weren't a match for the Yato and his dad in their current condition with their current tactics. And weeks of fruitless searching and guerilla warfare had definitely worn them down. Powerful war god or not, Yukine would put his hard-earned money on the sorcerer's schemes and Yato's uninhibited savagery.

Kuraha shifted and lashed his tail, but didn't offer any protest.

The group lapsed back into silence for a few minutes before Yukine shrugged and turned. "Oh well," he said as he began walking away. "I guess they aren't coming."

"What?" Kuraha asked. "But–"

"Get back here," Bishamon started. "They'll–"

Yukine made it all of five steps before Bishamon broke off and he heard her sharp intake of breath. He turned back and tapped his foot impatiently as Yato's dad and Nora ducked out from behind a small clump of trees and shrubbery halfway across the grassy field.

"About time," he grunted as they sauntered over.

"Keep your guard up," Bishamon muttered.

Yukine didn't need to be told twice. He suspected they'd been watching this whole time, waiting for… What? Just playing games? He didn't know, but he'd had a pretty good feeling that they'd cut it out and show themselves if it looked like he might actually retreat to safety.

"You aren't leaving already, are you?" Yato's dad asked with a cheery smile. He strolled across the lawn, Nora trailing two steps behind him like a shadow, and stopped about ten feet away. "That would be a real shame."

Yukine glared. "Where's Yato?"

Yato _had _to be here. Unless… His stomach flipped over as it suddenly hit him that maybe Yato _wasn't _here. Maybe it was going to be just like before, when his dad hadn't brought the ayakashi either. And if Yato wasn't here and Yukine had to go with the sorcerer on his own without Bishamon, there was no way this would work.

Yukine would be just as helpless as before. He was going to fail Yato again.

"Yato?" Yato's dad tilted his head and tapped his finger against his lips in a show of thoughtfulness. "I don't know any Yato."

Yukine stared. "_What?_"

"But hey, where's Hiyori? Is she going to miss the fun?" The sorcerer pouted, eyes sparkling. Behind him, Nora watched Yukine with dark, expressionless eyes that gave nothing away. "I see you brought Bishamon and some friends instead, though. How nice of you to bring company."

Hiyori was in school despite her protests, watched carefully by Kinuha, Kofuku, and Daikoku. They weren't taking any chances. Having her here would be too much of a risk, especially if Yato's dad decided to take her hostage. Better to have her far away, under guard.

But Yukine had been so worried about making sure she would be protected that he realized he hadn't thought through every facet of this plan after all. What did all those precautions matter if he didn't even have the chance to save Yato?

"_Where's Yato?_"

"I already told you," the sorcerer said with a sly little smile, "I don't know anyone who goes by that name."

"What game are you playing?" Bishamon demanded.

Game. That was right.

The knot in Yukine's stomach unclenched, and the tiniest flicker of hope sputtered back to life in his chest. "The ayakashi, then," he said, because he wasn't going to play that game. "Where is it?"

The sorcerer's face cleared in mock realization. "Oh!" he said brightly. "You mean Yaboku? Come on out, kiddo."

Yukine scrunched up his nose. He hated it when Yato was called that and couldn't imagine the name on his tongue. Not when Yato hated it so much. Not when it was the name of the person he'd tried so hard to outrun.

There was a flicker of movement behind the same tree where Yato's dad and Nora had been lurking, and Yato shambled out to join them. Yukine sucked in a breath. Yato had the same unnatural stiffness to his bearing as before, his eyes were just as dull and devoid of life, but even beyond that he looked terrible. There were dark smudges like bruises beneath his eyes, he was looking gaunt bordering on skeletal, and there were a number of obvious injuries littering his skin.

"What _happened_?" Yukine asked.

"Some of it was from your friend Bishamon, of course." The sorcerer sighed dramatically and gave Yato a once-over. "But we seem to have run into a new set of problems, namely that ayakashi don't bother with things like food and sleep and are reluctant to learn no matter what body they're in. Technically Yaboku doesn't need those things either, but it takes a toll on him. And to be honest, gods and ayakashi aren't compatible at the best of times, and they don't seem to be getting along. I should think he's got enough left in him to help me finish things up before he tears himself apart, but there's no point wasting any more time. You've delayed us long enough."

"You said you could save him," Yukine said in a small voice.

He couldn't tear his horrified gaze away from his master. He couldn't stand seeing Yato's eyes so _empty_, like he was gone and only his hollow body was left. Like he was already dead and something else had wormed its way into his body and taken over.

"Oh, don't worry," the sorcerer said cheerily, patting Yato on the arm in some cruel mockery of affection. "He's plenty strong enough to do what needs doing, even with the regrettable side effects. I'm still looking for a way to perfect the possession, and then maybe we can finish fixing him up. But he'll last long enough for this."

Bishamon mumbled something under her breath that sounded suspiciously like a curse. Yukine tore his gaze away from Yato just long enough to give her a wide-eyed look of betrayal. She had run into Yato on occasion since his second possession. She must have seen how awful he looked, must have suspected something was wrong. And she hadn't told Yukine anything. Neither had any of her shinki. Neither had Nora.

When he met Nora's gaze, she held it coolly for a moment before dropping her eyes to the ground.

"Give him back right now," Yukine said, hating how his voice wavered.

Yato's dad smiled and shook his head. "No, you're coming with us, remember? Very kind of you to protect Hiyori and give Yaboku some company."

"I won't–"

"You will. Now that you've left your hidey-hole, it's too late to back out. You really thought you could pretend to cooperate to lure me out and then bring Bishamon along to kill me? Please. It wouldn't be that easy to start with, and you're overlooking something." He leaned forward a little, grin widening. "When Yaboku calls, you come. Maybe you've refused his call before in a fit of teenage rebellion so you think you can resist it again, but a god's call is absolute if they want it to be. You shinki think you have so much power, but that's only if your god gives it to you. Yaboku could _always _force you to come if he chose to. He's grown soft and coddles you, but this time you won't have a choice. And once he has you, his dear hafuri, taking care of Bishamon will be nothing. She's already looking the worse for wear.

"It's game over, dearest Yukine." Triumph sparkled in his eyes like stars. "You're mine."

"Never," Yukine croaked. His heart beat against his ribcage wildly until he could barely breathe, and his vision tunneled until all he could see was the sorcerer's smug face.

Yato's dad only chuckled. "We'll see. Yaboku, call your hafuri, won't you?"

Yukine's gaze snapped to Yato's face. _Fight it_, he pled silently. _You fought him off before. Can't you refuse again? Snap out of it, Yato._

There was a beat of stillness, but Yato's cloudy eyes didn't clear. Slowly, his mouth opened and formed around the word awkwardly, like he was tasting it for the first time. His voice was raspy with disuse and held no inflection, and he drew out each sound with painful slowness as if it was difficult to force them out.

"Se–"

_Now! It has to be now!_

The blood was roaring so loudly in Yukine's ears that he barely heard Bishamon calling him, voice high and rushed, but he felt the summons tugging at his chest. He had a moment to take satisfaction in the shocked look plastered across the sorcerer's face, his mouth hanging open and his eyes wide with disbelief.

"–kki."

And then the world exploded, and he was left fighting for his life while he was torn in half.


	11. Teamwork is not Yukine's strong suit

**.**

**Chapter 11**

_(In which loyalties are divided, teamwork is not Yukine's strong suit, and things go from bad to worse.)_

* * *

He couldn't breathe. The air was torn from his lungs in one savage yank as two sets of teeth sank into opposite corners of his soul and _pulled_. He opened his mouth to cry out from the pain of it, but he couldn't tell if any sound forced its way from between his jaws past the roaring in his ears. His vision exploded with stars.

He was being ripped right down the middle, tugged in opposite directions until he tore at the seams. Two forces were fighting over him and he knew that he needed one of them to win, but he couldn't remember which one or even who was going to war over his battered body. His thoughts unraveled faster and faster, until he could barely think at all.

He was going to die, he realized in some foggy corner of his mind. Neither opponent was letting go of him—they would fight until they tore him to shreds and there was nothing left of him.

"Hold on, Yuki!" someone cried.

The faintest flicker of recognition sparked in his chest. Was that his name? Maybe, but it didn't feel right. It felt incomplete.

If that was wrong, then he needed the other side to win. Maybe the other side was _right_. He turned away from the voice blindly, flailing about and trying to catch hold of something—_anything_—to tie him to the other side. He couldn't just stand here and let himself be ripped apart. He needed to grab on to an anchor with all his might and fight back.

Over the ringing in his ears, he dimly heard someone shouting in panic. The words blended together in a tangled jumble that he couldn't decipher even if he wanted to. But then, suddenly, one word cut through the chaos like a knife.

"Yukine," said a new voice sharply, hard-edged and no-nonsense, and he found himself testing the name on his tongue. "Pull yourself together."

That was it. That was his name, wasn't it? It dredged up snippets of memory that raced through his mind in quick, half-formed flashes. He couldn't quite focus on any one of them with the searing agony cracking his bones apart and pulling sinew from muscle, but he got the hazy feeling of laughter and fond exasperation and something warm and comforting, a little like a home, maybe.

Yukine.

That was, he thought, something he could fight for.

He reached out for the new voice, the one that knew his name, and scrabbled for purchase. He came up empty-handed, fingers closing on air, but he wasn't going to give up so easily. He grabbed wildly, blindly, for anything nearby.

And finally, he grazed someone. A lifeline, maybe.

He latched on and focused every last ounce of his willpower on throwing himself forward. He could feel himself stretching perilously thin, fabric fraying and tearing down the middle, but then, finally, the tension snapped taut and broke.

He flew forward with a cry. He lay shivering and panting as the roaring in his ears faded and the blackness of his vision cleared little by little. The fog in his mind cleared even slower still, until he was left blinking out at the world in hazy bemusement.

"That was a close call," Aiha said, voice tight but colored with cautious relief.

"Are you alright, Yuki?" Bishamon asked.

Yukine wondered why his blades were gripped in her tightly clenched hands. It felt wrong. The wrong name, the wrong person. Terror sent his stomach plummeting into free fall as he realized that he had made the wrong choice in the midst of all the chaos. He was supposed to be with _Yato_…

Yato, who, he remembered, was currently possessed by his father's pet ayakashi. No wonder it was so disorienting. He'd had to fight to go to the wrong person.

"My name is Yukine," he mumbled as he worked to collect all the scattered pieces of his thoughts.

There was a brief pause before Bishamon said, "I guess you were right. Good call, Kazuma."

"I warned you," Kazuma said, matter-of-fact. "He belongs to Yato, and he wants it that way. You can't give him a new name and expect him to be yours. We might be working together, but you have to accept that he will always be Yato's first."

Yukine might not like Kazuma very much right now, but he felt a grudging kind of gratitude that he understood at least that much.

Bishamon sighed. "Yes, you're right. I should have known better. Are you okay now, Yukine?"

"What happened?" Yukine asked. They were several feet closer to Yato's dad than before, and he didn't know how they had gotten there.

She looked peeved. "I was trying to get a hit in while we had the element of surprise, but you took it even harder than I anticipated and there was no way. It took everything I had to keep a hold of you, and for a second it still looked like Yato's summons might override mine. But you pulled it out in the end."

Yukine noted that Bishamon was holding him loosely in her right hand, on account of also holding a pistol. The shot had obviously missed its target. He had the grace to feel a little guilty, realizing that he was probably to blame. But at the same time…

"I thought you were going to use _me_," he said waspishly, not liking the idea of her aiming a gun at Yato. Or even Yato's dad, if only because Yato's chances weren't good if the sorcerer took a fatal hit.

"I'm going to take whatever opening I get," she muttered. "You–"

"Well, this is quite vexing," the sorcerer said. Irritation glittered bright in his eyes. "Throws quite a wrench into my plans. You do love being difficult, don't you? Poor Yaboku… Even his own hafuri betrays him in the end."

Yukine flinched at the accusation, and his gaze skittered automatically to Yato. The god still wore no expression at all and hadn't seemed to have moved. Yukine searched for any sign that he was hurt by the betrayal, upset or angry or caught off guard, but there was nothing. He didn't know which would be worse: Yato showing his obvious hurt or the ayakashi showing nothing at all. But he would have to face that reckoning once they'd rescued Yato, because right now there was no reaction to be found.

He shuddered as discomfort sent its skeletal fingers running up and down his spine. Yato's eyes were dull and empty, polished glass reflecting back the world with cold, clinical precision rather than letting the soul inside peek out. More than the sweaty hands or grungy tracksuit or even the goofy smile, those electric eyes were what was quintessentially _Yato_. They were always so expressive, changeable as the tides even when the same smile stayed firmly in place. Bright or dull, warm or cold, loving or distant, cheerful or sad, laughing or furious… All of those contradictions wrapped up in one small body were what made Yato _Yato_.

But now the light had gone out of them, leaving a thin veneer of ice stretched tight and brittle over twin voids. Those eyes were so _dead_. A little worm of doubt wriggled at the very back of Yukine's mind, whispering that maybe it was too late and Yato was well and truly gone. Maybe he _wasn't _still in there somewhere. Maybe Yato had already been scooped out, leaving behind only an ayakashi wrapped in his hollow skin.

"_Focus_, Yukine," Bishamon said, her voice sharp with warning.

Yukine pushed the vicious thoughts out of his mind as best he could. He couldn't afford to think about that, not now. He couldn't even afford to worry about what this betrayal would mean to Yato, couldn't imagine the look on the god's face when he came around and saw the new name branded on Yukine's hand. Right now, all he could do was focus on getting Yato back. And to succeed at that, he needed to believe it was possible.

"Well," said the sorcerer, "I guess I'll just have to–"

There was a flash of movement, tawny-bright in the glint of the sun, and Yato's dad dodged neatly as the lion's paws slammed down in the dirt where he'd just been standing, claws gouging deep into the earth and sending snippets of cut grass fluttering in the air. Kuraha raised one huge paw to swipe again, but Yato's dad clicked his tongue and shook his head.

"Chiki," he said, and Nora jumped obediently to his hand. The sunlight gleamed off the pointed end of the staff as the sorcerer planted the other end on the ground and leaned on the pole almost casually, directing the spike at his attacker.

Kuraha leaped anyway, but Bishamon cried, "No!"

The panic in her voice scraped Yukine raw, and he wondered again what it was about Yato's dad that terrified the gods so much.

"Stop," Kazuma ordered. Kuraha growled but retreated half a dozen paces, good eye narrowed at the sorcerer and tail lashing back and forth along the ground.

"That didn't work last time," Yato's dad said with no little amusement. "What made you think it would work now?"

Yukine wondered what 'last time' that might be. Maybe something else he'd missed while fighting Yato's summons.

"I already told you," Bishamon said, voice harsh, "only distance attacks for the sorcerer."

That still seemed unreasonable to Yukine, but he wasn't going to complain. Not yet.

"It's not very nice to interrupt people," Yato's dad said with a pout. Beneath the amused twinkle in his eyes, a perfunctory caution glinted dully as he kept an eye on Bishamon and Kuraha. "As I was saying before I was so _rudely _interrupted, I guess I'll just have to kill you now."

Yukine was not impressed by the threat. Judging by Bishamon's unamused look, neither was she.

"You've been trying to kill us for weeks," she said.

"Is that what you think?" Yato's dad chuckled. "No, I'm a little brighter than that." He patted Yato's arm in a manner that might be mistaken for fond if it wasn't so possessive. Yato didn't so much as twitch, but it made Yukine's skin crawl. "Yaboku's powerful, no doubt about it, but I wouldn't throw him at a war god with a whole brood of shinki. Not until he gets his hafuri back and has a better way to defend himself. No, we've just been wearing you down, one little attack at a time. There's a reason it's been hit and run instead of a real battle."

"Why are we wasting time with this?" Yukine asked. "He likes to gloat. Can we just rescue Yato already?"

Bishamon didn't answer him, and instead addressed the sorcerer. "Please. I'm not nearly _worn down _enough that he can take me out without a weapon."

"Wait," Kazuma said. "Let him talk. We'll look for an opening while he's distracted."

"_That's _your great plan?" Yukine asked, dismayed. "Even Yato's stupid plans are better than that."

"He's still dangerous, and he can disappear in a second if he feels too threatened. Better to look for an opening."

"We have the advantage! Just let me fight and get it over with!"

"All the advantage in the world isn't going to do us any good if he just bolts with Yato and disappears again. If he retreats and regroups now, he'll have time to come up with a plan to counteract you and we'll lose whatever advantage the element of surprise gave us."

"Doesn't seem like we have all that much surprise going for us anymore," Yukine grumbled.

"Yes, well, there wasn't much we could do while waiting for you to recover."

"Whatever. I'm recovered now."

Bishamon didn't acknowledge them or give any outward sign of the fierce debate except for an irritated twitch of the eye. She watched the sorcerer calmly, careful not to let him see the team's dissension.

"Well, you didn't leave me much of a choice now, did you?" Yato's dad clicked his tongue and shook his head. "Now that you went and stole my kid's weapon, I'll have to kill you so that he's Yukine's only master again. I'm sure you understand." Kuraha growled, a low rumble deep in his throat, and stepped forward. The sorcerer's gaze slid away to regard the lion with amusement. "Down, kitty. Don't worry, I'm sure–"

"_Now_," said Kazuma.

Bishamon was moving instantly, like she'd been waiting for Kazuma's signal all along. She lunged for Yato, but the blade in her right hand twisted as she whipped Karuha around again and fired another bullet. Yato's dad jerked away and whipped up his staff. The bullet glanced off the gleaming metal and ricocheted harmlessly to the side.

"Yaboku, kill them for me, won't you?"

Yato sprang into motion at the command and danced around both Kuraha's pounce and Bishamon's onslaught. As he pivoted away, he slammed one booted foot into Bishamon's shin with enough force to send her staggering. He had the chance to get in one more hit before she recovered and rounded on him, blades flashing through the air.

It was hell on earth.

Bishamon didn't wield Yukine the same way Yato did. Her moves lacked his grace but more than made up for it with their savagery. They followed a different fighting style entirely. On top of that, Kazuma was issuing orders about what moves to make and spouting off notes on trajectory and angle and force. Bishamon followed his advice without a second thought, but the constant barrage set Yukine's head spinning.

And all of this fury and chaos was directed at Yato. For all they bickered, Yukine had never imagined that he'd really be _fighting _Yato. His reluctance and hesitation to commit earned him a sharp rebuke from both Bishamon and Kazuma.

"You've come this far," Aiha added, voice strained as Yato scraped blighting fingernails across her armor and ducked under Yukine's returning swing. "It's not like you can go back now. You already committed to it, so _fight_."

Yukine had no response to that. She was right: he had come too far to back away now, no matter how much it hurt.

So when Yato danced around the flashing blades to get in close—without a weapon, the only thing he could really do was find openings in Bishamon's longer-ranged attacks and then slide back out of reach—Yukine grabbed the reins and twisted in Bishamon's grip.

"What are you doing?" she cried as he moved from blocking the incoming blow so they had a chance to get in a hit instead.

"Stay still!" Kazuma added sharply. "You have to follow our direction!"

"He's feinting," Yukine grunted.

He knew how Yato fought, knew what each shift in his stance meant and what tactics he favored. He had made it a point to learn _Yato _until it was as easy as breathing to follow along like an extension of the god. It had taken a while, but these days Yukine knew how to fall into rhythm with Yato, stay in sync, read his next move and match him accordingly.

That rhythm was broken now, discordant and grating along Yukine's heartstrings. Now that Yato wasn't himself and Yukine wasn't his and they were fighting against each other instead of together.

And never was that more apparent than when Yato _didn't _feint and slammed straight into Bishamon where Yukine's blade had just been.

Bishamon hissed in pain, blight blooming in inky storm clouds across her cheek, and managed to whip the other blade around just in time to slash a shallow cut across Yato's cheek in return before he retreated.

Yukine was flabbergasted. "I was so sure…"

"That's what we've been trying to tell you," Bishamon snapped. Kuraha leaped, but Yato jumped high in the air and flipped over his back. "He's not himself. He's not fighting like himself either."

"There's no strategy," Karuha huffed. "It's impossible to predict his movements when they're so erratic."

"So _listen to Kazuma _and be a team player instead of doing whatever you feel like."

Yukine was still skeptical of following Kazuma's orders, but he was too stunned to protest and Yato was moving so _fast_. He barely had time to think at all as Bishamon slashed and parried. He knew he was supposed to be looking for an opening to slice the ayakashi out, but all he could see was Yato and he was afraid to cut too deep.

"Kind of cruel, isn't it?" Yato's dad asked with a mild sort of amusement. Yukine darted a quick glance over to see that he had retreated a few paces to watch from the sidelines, still leaning up against the staff casually while he regarded the melee with polite interest. It was so absurd it was almost comical, and it made Yukine hate him even more. "It's not nice of Bishamon to use you to kill your own master."

Yukine pulled up short, faltering in Bishamon's grasp. "_What?_" he asked, even though Yato's dad couldn't hear him.

"Don't listen to him," Bishamon said through gritted teeth as she danced back a couple paces to avoid Yato. "He's just trying to get in your head. That's what he always does."

The sorcerer chuckled. "Yes, don't mind little old me. You can trust Bishamon if you want. Still, she hasn't been doing a very good job of killing Yaboku on her own, so it seems awfully convenient for her to find a way to get her hands on you and turn you on him."

"I didn't even make that plan!" she said indignantly. "Yukine is the one who suggested it."

"Oh? _Is _he now?" A pensive look slid across his face. "How interesting. I wonder where he might have come up with _that _idea…"

Yukine _had _pressed the idea on Bishamon, but suddenly he was aware of how tight her grip was and how hard she was swinging him at Yato. How far she might go to remove the threats to herself and her shinki—Yato and his dad included. The blade bounced harmlessly off Yato's upper arm with little more than bruising impact.

The dead-eyed god didn't so much as flinch. He took advantage of the opening to jam his fist into Bishamon's solar plexus hard enough to set her rattling in her armor as she reeled back.

She cried out, and guilt built in Yukine's chest. Yato was his master first, but he was supposed to protect Bishamon too. It was just that when it came down to it…Yato was still his first priority.

"I'm sorry!"

"Don't dull down!" Kazuma snapped. "Pull yourself together. Veena, aim six inches to the right, thrust. Kuraha, come around behind from the left and…"

Keeping track of Kazuma's battleground ramblings was too much for Yukine to follow—how could Bishamon actually concentrate on a fight with the constant babbling?—but he found himself questioning his mentor's judgment once again as Bishamon jabbed him at a spot well to the right of Yato. A useless, wasted blow.

He jerked in Bishamon's grasp, twisting around to dive for Yato instead. Everyone was yelling at him, but having so many voices vying for his attention created such a cacophony in his head that he could listen to none of them. He had never missed the quiet so much. It was so much easier when it was only Yato jabbering in his ear.

Yato threw himself to the side as Kuraha lunged from the left. Yukine's blade slid harmlessly through the air, throwing Bishamon off balance and sending her stumbling. Yato danced unscathed through the point where the blade would have been.

"What are you doing?" Aiha cried. "You aren't working by yourself, you know! You have to work with the team!"

Kazuma was livid. "I already warned you to follow orders! Your teamwork is abysmal. Haven't you noticed that I've been directing Kuraha to corral Yato into position for us to hit him? I know what I'm doing. Stop focusing only on yourself and try looking at the bigger picture."

Now that Yukine thought about it, Kuraha had been making very few actual attacks, mostly keeping out of Bishamon's way and giving her room to maneuver while trying to impede Yato's lightning-quick attacks. Bishamon was the frontline, Kuraha herded Yato into optimal position for her, Kazuma coordinated the whole mess, and Yukine was the wrench in the gears.

Bishamon whipped around to strike at Yato again, and Yukine braced himself to cut straight through the ayakashi hiding there. The blade bit into Yato's arm just beneath the shoulder, cutting deep enough to leave it hanging at an awkward angle. It wasn't nearly as deep as a normal sword blow should cut, but it was still much more than Yukine wanted. He had intended to draw his borderline to protect Yato and cut only the ayakashi, but his blade pierced only flesh and he didn't feel any of the expected resistance of the paranormal Far Shore ties that should have been infesting the god.

"I don't understand!" he cried. Yato's blood was dripping down his blade, crimson and damning, and it made his stomach heave. "I'm trying not to hit him too!"

"You're having a hard time separating him from the ayakashi," Kazuma said shortly. "You aren't doing as much damage as you would if you were trying to hurt him, but you're still fighting him on some level."

Their whole plan hinged on Yukine being able to kill the ayakashi without taking out Yato. It was the very thing he didn't trust anyone but himself to do, so if he couldn't do it…

And there was one other problem.

"Every time I try to draw my borderlines to avoid him and get the ayakashi, I can't feel it!"

"Feel what?" Aiha asked.

"I'm getting no resistance from the ayakashi when I strike at it. It's like I'm not hitting it at all."

"…That's troubling," Kazuma said, the frown tugging at his voice. "I hope the sorcerer didn't _actually _find a way to make it harder for you to get it out."

Panic seared through Yukine, blinding and white-hot. What if he had done all this, handed Yato over to the enemy and condemned innocents to death and become a nora, and still couldn't save Yato in the end?

_What then?_

"Could you all quit chatting and _focus _for a minute?" Bishamon snarled.

Yukine had barely even noticed all the slashing and running around, so caught up in the conversation and his internal meltdown. He let Bishamon do what she wanted with him instead of fighting to do things his own way, since he didn't know what he could do anyway. Kazuma stammered out an apology and went back to barking orders. Yato, despite looking like he was one good push away from falling apart, moved faster than a striking snake and was practically a blur as he darted in and out. He managed to somehow catch his fingers in the armor plates and _rip _a section off, exposing Bishamon's bare skin beneath. Aiha screeched in pain. When Yato followed up and dragged blighted claws along the unprotected skin, Bishamon yelped too.

In contrast, he made no sound at all as he darted in and out, tearing Aiha's armor down piece by piece and hitting Bishamon where it hurt. His total silence was unnerving, although not as sickening as those blank, dead eyes.

They were so focused on Yato that Kuraha barely had time to call out a warning before the first ayakashi hit them from behind. Bishamon hissed in pain as the glowing green phantom sank its blight-riddled teeth into her leg. Yukine snapped out of his paralysis and cut through the ayakashi easily. This he could still do.

A whole horde of ayakashi descended on them from every side, pressing in tight around both Bishamon and Kuraha. Bishamon recovered almost instantly and set to work slashing through their ranks with the ease of experience. This was more familiar territory. Yukine relaxed just a little as he fell into the rhythm of phantom control. He could practically do this in his sleep.

Bishamon cut her way through to Kuraha, who was more than holding his own with his razor-sharp teeth and claws. Once she was astride his back, the whole team seemed to fall into a comfortable rhythm with Kazuma keeping time like the steady beat of a metronome. And if Yukine didn't fight it, didn't think too much at all, he could almost pretend that he was part of it.

"Your ayakashi can't do anything to me," Bishamon said derisively as she dispatched the last of them and it vanished with an unholy screech.

Yato's dad was smirking when she turned back to him, and Yato was standing woodenly beside him. Yukine searched the god's face one more time for any sign of the Yato he knew, but hopelessness coiled low in his belly even before he came up empty. While his father seemed to take great delight in watching the show, Yato stared right through it like he didn't see them at all.

"Maybe not _those _ones," Yato's dad said with a chuckle. "But they serve as a passable distraction, and now Yaboku has a fighting chance. After all, it's not very fair to go swinging swords at an unarmed opponent, is it?"

A frown stole over Bishamon's face and her hands tightened around Yukine like a vise. "What are you…?"

"Maybe he's bluffing?" Kazuha suggested. His sister made a small sound of nervous agreement.

But then Bishamon sucked in a sharp breath. It took Yukine a moment longer to spot what she'd noticed, but then his breath caught in his throat too.

"What do you think he's going to do with _that_?" Bishamon demanded.

"Exactly what you think he's going to," the sorcerer said with a shrug. "If you're going to swing at my kid with weapons when he doesn't even have his hafuri to protect him, I'll have to give him a weapon too. Fair is fair, isn't it?"

There, in Yato's hand, was the brush that had started this whole mess. It hung limply from his fingers, inky bristles dipping towards the ground.

Yukine honestly knew very little about it, aside from the fact that it had come from Izanami in Yomi and could control ayakashi. It was, presumably, the means by which the sorcerer had forced an ayakashi into Yato. And although there should be two of them, the distinct lack of masks anywhere to be seen suggested that this was the more dangerous one.

"_Can _he even use that when it's an ayakashi pulling the strings?" Yukine asked, and Bishamon echoed his sentiments out loud.

"You can't expect an ayakashi to name and control other ayakashi," she said.

"Ah, but it's not _just _an ayakashi, is it?" Yato's dad asked cheerfully. "Admittedly it took a lot of work, but we figured it out eventually. I never did figure out how to make it name a new shinki—I suppose that's something an ayakashi can't master, and either Yaboku isn't cooperating or it's something that takes a little more brainpower than just summoning one that's already been named—but it can manage this. It has a little trouble naming them, but it's exceptionally good at controlling them afterwards. Like minds and all that."

"That's–"

Bishamon broke off as Yato lunged again. Ayakashi, apparently pre-named and ready to go, crept out of the shadows and joined in the fray. Yukine imagined he could tell the difference between these and the phantoms Yato's dad sicced on them. They moved like they were of one mind, although it was impossible to tell how instructions were being relayed to them when Yato—or the ayakashi controlling Yato—didn't speak. Their attacks weren't particularly strategic and still had that feral, erratic quality that Yato had picked up, but they were tightly organized around Yato's every move. It was like the god had suddenly picked up half a dozen Kurahas as backup.

They attacked from all sides, getting in a few minor hits by virtue of sheer volume, but ayakashi were ayakashi: annoying but manageable. No, the problem was that Yato was still on the attack, and he was a dangerous enough opponent when their movement wasn't hindered by half a dozen mindless minions. They could handle Yato or they could handle the ayakashi, but both at once was overloading their limited resources.

Yato swiped at Bishamon with the brush, and she yelped as Kuraha sprang backward.

"What's he doing with _that_?" she demanded.

"I don't know," Kazuma said tightly, "but I'd rather not find out. Don't let him touch you with that thing."

At least Yato attacking them tooth and claw made sense, even if it seemed like a ludicrous strategy against someone loaded with weapons, but switching to attacking with what should have the combat value of a paintbrush was so ridiculous that it set off alarm bells. Maybe, Yukine thought hopefully, it was just because the ayakashi controlling him wasn't terribly smart. But the sorcerer wasn't ordering it to stop or change tactics, and the truth was that the brush was a wildcard. Who knew _what _it could do? It had already proved itself plenty troublesome, and Yukine wasn't keen to find out if it had any other abilities.

"I think we'd better split from Kuraha again," Kazuma said as they danced around Yato and sliced through another ayakashi. "We have the advantage together against the ayakashi, but with Yato also in the mix… I think it's better to have two mobile units to separate the pack and continue maneuvering him into position. I'm sure he'll keep targeting Veena rather than Kuraha."

Bishamon slid off Kuraha's back without a word, and the lion retreated a few paces to unleash a devastating flurry of attacks on the ayakashi there. Yukine had the feeling that Kazuma's explanation was more for his benefit than anything else—everyone else would follow his orders without question.

Bishamon lunged for Yato again, but a wolf-like ayakashi glowing an ethereal blue darted between them. It latched its teeth around her ankle, scraping along Aiha's armor until the shinki cried out in pain. It let go and pranced around them to clamp its jaws around a different spot, while Bishamon cursed and hacked at it. As tenacious as the beast was, it seemed more determined to scurry around and avoid taking a death blow.

When Yukine's blade finally sank into the creature with a satisfying weight and the ayakashi vanished with one last unearthly howl, they realized what Yato had been up to while they'd been otherwise occupied. He was hanging back and letting the ayakashi wear them down while he painted new phantoms into existence to join the free-for-all.

"What the–?" Yukine started as a purple-tinged feline ayakashi sprang from the brush, shook itself off, and charged.

His exclamation caught Bishamon's attention, and her eyes widened almost comically.

"I thought you said he couldn't make new phantoms!" she cried, outraged.

"No, that's _not _what I said," Yato's dad drawled, sounding a touch bored now. "I said it had _difficulty _naming new ayakashi. But we've been practicing. It's not rocket science—even a human like me can do it. It's not something I actually need a god for. It doesn't matter if Yaboku is cooperating or not."

"Change of plans," Kazuma said. "No point fighting all these things as they're made. We need to take them out at the source. Kuraha, cover us and keep the ayakashi off our backs so we can get close to Yato."

Yukine saw the sense in that—Yato couldn't keep making more ayakashi while they were attacking him, and the ayakashi were distracting them from taking care of their main goal, which _was _Yato—but he didn't see how Kuraha could handle so many phantoms on his own. The elder shinki was strong and clever, no doubt about it, but one against over half a dozen? Without a god to back him up? The odds weren't good.

But he didn't hesitate. "You can count on me," he said as he leaped away and crashed down on an ayakashi with massive paws.

Yukine wanted to protest—he'd grown to like Kuraha and didn't want to see him thrown into a hopeless battle—but then Bishamon charged Yato again and he realized that he didn't have time to worry about anything else. It took all his concentration just to follow along with her swings and maneuver his borderlines to search out the parasitic ayakashi somewhere inside Yato. And he was failing.

He cut deep into Yato's shoulder on the first swing, and blood gushed from the wound even though Yato had no reaction and his movements didn't slow—a frightful, mindless killing machine. Yukine felt nothing but _Yato_. He could feel himself carving up the god he had sworn to protect. He didn't feel anything that didn't belong, couldn't sense the ayakashi lurking there, and that terrified him.

The next blow didn't cut nearly as deep, because he was too afraid that he'd cut into Yato again and again and again without managing to sever the bond with the ayakashi. How could he keep attacking his god? Where was the phantom he had been so sure he could remove?

"Yukine, stop panicking!" Bishamon dodged around Yato and spun away to catch her breath. She was breathing in heaving little pants now, either from her exhaustion and pain and blight or from Yukine's fear. "And don't dull down. We need to cut it out of him."

"But I can't find it!" he wailed. Maybe he had just gotten lucky last time. Maybe Yato's dad had taken extra precautions. Whatever it was, failure tightened around his chest and squeezed the panic into his lungs.

Bishamon opened her mouth, but Kazuma had no more patience for mid-battle chats.

"Most of the secondary ayakashi are gone," he observed. "Two mid-range right, twenty meters, medium speed and agility, high strength. One thirty meters forward left, high speed, high agility. One fifteen meters behind, stats unknown. One– Never mind, good work, Kuraha.

"Veena, circle right and strike at three o'clock and ten o'clock, angle both blades six degrees downward. At end of move, strike hard blow right and summon Kazuha. One shot fifteen degrees right, five degrees higher. When he moves into position in path of blade, bring in blow at downward strike angle across chest to cover maximum surface area. Yukine, this is your chance to slice the ayakashi out—maximum area for you to search it out.

"Kuraha, finish the one behind and circle around. Feint attack to Yato's rear and push him forward—he's outside optimal range. Strike to–"

Yukine never got to follow through on that strike, because that was the moment everything fell apart.

Kuraha lunged from behind, but instead of moving nicely into position to avoid the attack, Yato pivoted neatly on his heel, swayed out of the way to let the lion's momentum carry him right past, and reached out with the brush as Kuraha went stumbling. It only took a few quick motions for him to paint that too-familiar eye across a swathe of golden fur on Kuraha's side. The symbol glowed bright purple and pulsed once, twice.

Then it disappeared and Kuraha collapsed to the ground with a bloodcurdling wail, his whole body spasming.

"Well," said Yato's dad from the sidelines, "looks like it's finally starting to get interesting. I was kind of hoping to snag Bishamon, but that's okay. She's next."


	12. The only plans left are the crazy ones

**.**

**Chapter 12**

_(In which the only plans left are the crazy ones.)_

* * *

"Kuraha!" Bishamon cried. "What did you–?"

She broke off with a sharp intake of air and doubled halfway over, fingers tightening around Yukine until it felt like something would snap. The concern of the other shinki was a grating whine in his ears, but it didn't take long before they all knew what was wrong. Yukine gritted his teeth as blight burned down into his core, creeping up the blade and sinking down to the soul beneath with little needle-teeth. The purplish-black contagion stood out sharply against the pale skin of Bishamon's hand.

"How did you _think _you possessed someone with an ayakashi?" Yato's dad drawled, leaning forward comfortably on his staff as he watched the goddess struggle for breath. "Of course, sadly, you can't just control a shinki the same way you can a human. Too susceptible to corruption since they already straddle the line. I guess it will just kill them."

Yukine was hardly paying attention, too entranced by the blight spreading bruise-like from Bishamon's fingertips and distracted by the burning sting latching its claws into him. He was not the only shinki facing contamination. Aiha seemed to have it the worst if her breathy whimpers were anything to go by, undoubtedly because her vessel had the most skin contact.

"It's spreading so fast," Yukine said, horrified. Bishamon was strong and he had seen her fight while blighted from within before, but to have been corrupted to this degree within seconds? How long could she stand that as it grew steadily worse?

"Well, she was already blighted, remember?" Kazuma said grimly, and Yukine flinched at the blunt reminder of his own contribution. Of course it was spreading quickly—it was just adding to all the blight Yukine caused and multiplying it. "Veena, look out!"

Yukine sprang into action and just barely managed to twist in her grip to block the opportunistic ayakashi that had decided to take advantage of the situation. He hit it at an awkward angle, but it was all he could do when Bishamon couldn't take her eyes off Kuraha long enough to lift the blade herself.

"Kuraha…"

"_Veena!_"

Bishamon shook her head sharply and whipped both blades up and around in a fierce whirlwind of steel that shredded the ayakashi and nearly cut Yato's nose off as he tried slipping under her guard. One blade smacked into the handle of the brush, but no matter how hard Yukine pushed at it, there was no satisfying splintering of wood. When Yato scrambled back with a strange sound somewhere between a hissing and a clicking of teeth, eyes shining dully in the noonday sun, only a small chip a few inches down from the bristles marred the brush. Yukine couldn't believe it—he had hit that thing with enough force to shatter it into a million pieces.

"Fix him!" Bishamon demanded.

Her eyes blazed bright and hot as amethyst coals, and she aimed a ferocious strike at Yato that sent him scurrying backward and Yukine struggling to hold back. Yato escaped with only a shallow gash across his chest, thanks to his lightning-fast reflexes and Yukine's desperation. This did nothing to check Bishamon's ferocity, which only seemed to burn hotter with her own desperation as fuel.

"I don't know that he _can _be fixed, honestly," Yato's dad mused, eyeing Kuraha's twitching form with mild curiosity. "I wonder if it's just possessing him or pushing him over the line to _become _an ayakashi… I suppose I can keep him around until things run their course so I can see. The corruption will kill you, of course, which is just as well. I'd like you out of the way so Yukine passes back into Yaboku's hands."

He turned his gaze on the goddess, and a sly little smirk curled the corner of his mouth. "Unless you could kill him to stop the process and save yourself. You don't have the guts for it, but maybe _Kazuma_ could."

Bishamon went utterly still. Kazuma said nothing, but his tension was palpable and his sudden silence was louder than the stream of issues he'd been barking nonstop the whole time. Someone breathed a word that sounded a lot like _'Tsuguha'_.

Yukine twitched restlessly, wondering why they had stopped when the battle was far from over. He didn't want anything to happen to Kuraha either, but their best chance to save him was to fix Yato and get their hands on the brush. This was a time for action, not hesitation. Their friends—their _family_—were counting on them.

And then, as if reading his thoughts, Bishamon sprang forward in a rage-fueled whirlwind.

Towards the sorcerer.

"Veena!" Kazuma cried. "Leave him! Yato is the immediate threat. The best way to cripple the sorcerer now is to destroy his weapon!"

For once, Bishamon paid him no mind. Yato's dad quirked one eyebrow and whipped Chiki around to block the overhead blow with the stem of the staff. Yukine's blade bounced off harmlessly. The sorcerer twirled the staff to deflect the secondary strike as well, the blade scraping down the length of the pole and sliding off the rounded surface.

"Oopsie," he said. "Wouldn't want to damage Yukine too much. I still need him."

No comprehension shone through Bishamon's rage-twisted features as she rained a hail of savage strikes down on him. There seemed to be nothing but her and the storm of her emotions, and any protests, even Kazuma's, slid off her like water. Whatever reservations she'd had about attacking the sorcerer head-on seemed to have vanished into thin air.

It was all Yukine could do to keep up with the offense. Bishamon's lightning-quick attacks made his head spin as he tried to lend her his strength. His disorientation wasn't helped by his uncertainty: should he give this bastard what he had coming, or should he hold back and preserve Yato's lifeline?

But maybe the agony of his indecision was pointless, as Yato's dad threw up a solid defense and blocked strike after strike with a great deal of skill. He retreated several paces under the barrage and stayed on the defense rather than attacking, but a shallow slice on his cheek and a brow furrowed in concentration were his only battle wounds.

"I wonder who should take his place," he said a little breathlessly as Bishamon's onslaught forced him back another step. He grunted and winced as a particularly hard blow reverberated along the length of the staff. "Dear Kazuma, perhaps?"

The sudden gleam in his eyes was the only warning they had before he deflected a strike with a blow of his own, sending Yukine's blade skittering off at a sharp angle, and whipped Chiki around so that the pointed tip was pointing straight at them like a spear. He punched it forward faster than thought, angled directly towards Bishamon's face. Then it veered to the side, and Yukine had a split second to wonder at the bad aim before realizing that it wouldn't miss her at all but was aiming at the earlobe where Kazuma's earring was nestled.

Bishamon's eyes went impossibly wide, and she jerked back. Chiki flew past the side of her face, the point scraping the air just a hair's breadth away. She scrambled back, drawing Yukine's blades up in front of her in preparation as she assumed a defensive position.

Yato's dad only smiled. "Checkmate," he said.

Bishamon hesitated, thrown off guard, and Yukine was caught up in his own confusion. What did that mean? Why didn't he just attack and get it over with? Unless–

"Veena!" Kazuma cried. "Look out!"

–he was waiting for someone else to do it for him.

Bishamon whirled about the second the warning left Kazuma's lips, but it almost seemed like slow motion to Yukine. Yato had closed in behind them while they were focused on his dad, and the brush was slashing toward Bishamon like a sword.

Yukine didn't always trust Bishamon, didn't always like her that much, but they were bound together now and, finally, he felt the protective urge well up inside him, the one that was usually reserved for Yato and Hiyori. Whatever their differences, she had taken him in and done her best to help within the constraints she'd imposed for their safety and the sake of the greater good. He owed her. And he didn't want to see her—or _anyone_—reduced to a hollow shell like Yato, jerked around like a puppet on its strings.

He threw himself between the gods without considering whether he could actually go full force against Yato when push came to shove…or what might happen if the brush inked its seal across his steel instead.

Someone yelled something, indecipherable over the roaring in his ears, but he was moving too fast and didn't have time to rethink his split-second decision.

Movement flashed across his field of vision, and shock pulled him up short as he recognized Hiyori's brown hair fluttering behind her as she appeared out of nowhere and threw herself at Yato in her signature kick. He had far too much momentum to pull himself to a stop in time, and he desperately reined in his power as much as possible, dulling his edges and setting his borderlines to avoid his friend. The blade passed harmlessly through, failing to find an enemy to connect with while Hiyori was protected by borderlines.

She and Yato went crashing to the ground, but she quickly picked herself up and scrambled away. Yukine blinked in incomprehension.

"Hiyori…? What…?"

Where had she even come from? She wasn't supposed to be here. She was supposed to be at school, safely out of harm's way and guarded by Kofuku and Daikoku and Kinuha to make sure Yato's dad didn't have the chance to snatch her up as a pawn. Where _were _her bodyguards? What was going?

"What are you doing?" Bishamon asked, her confusion just as evident. "Where is Kinuha? And the others?"

"Sorry, but I couldn't just stay away and hide." Hiyori's eyes burned bright with steely determination as she met the goddess's gaze squarely. "Yato is my friend too."

"But–"

"You're welcome." She lifted her hand to reveal the ayakashi brush clutched in her fist. "Now save him."

No one moved for a long moment, still stunned by the sudden turn of events. Yukine still couldn't quite believe that Hiyori had shaken off her bodyguards, swooped in out of nowhere, and snatched the lethal brush right out of Yato's hand like it was nothing. Then again, this was _Hiyori _they were talking about, and he should have known better than to think that she would be content with sitting back and waiting on the sidelines. Of course she would do something crazy. And she was just amazing enough to pull it off.

But still…

"Has she totally lost her mind?" Yukine demanded.

What was she _thinking_, getting between Yato and his quarry when he was possessed by a bloodthirsty spirit? Was she _trying _to get herself killed?

"Hurry," Kazuma urged. "This is our chance to–"

Yato picked himself up in a tangle of limbs and lunged again—thankfully at Bishamon rather than Hiyori. The single-mindedness of his goal blotted out any urge to take a detour and recover his weapon.

Bishamon whipped the blades back up, and Yukine automatically dulled down despite everyone's protests now that Yato didn't have a proper way to defend himself again.

"_You_," Yato's dad said somewhere off to their left, "are becoming a real thorn in my side."

Hiyori cried out, and Yukine risked a glance back to see that Yato's dad was grabbing at her.

"Hiyori!" Yukine said. Bishamon hesitated a split second, but she had to spin about to fend Yato off as he ducked around her side and attacked again. "We have to help her!"

"We can't help her if we're dead," Bishamon said grimly. "Stop going dull on me, and maybe we can incapacitate Yato and get Hiyori. He's had no weapon for most of the fight—honestly, we should have already been able to take him down by now if you weren't always holding back."

Maybe it _was_ his fault they hadn't saved Yato yet. Maybe he was holding back so much that they'd never make any progress.

But what else was he supposed to do? Despite his grand plans, it didn't look like he was going to be able to cut out the ayakashi harmlessly after all, and he didn't have the heart for an all-out attack. This was _Yato_. He might be annoying and childish and a real pain, but he'd saved Yukine and stood by him time after time. He was…family.

It wasn't _fair _to pit them against each other.

Hiyori was as good as family too, and Yukine couldn't just leave her behind either.

"But we need to–"

His protest was cut off by Bishamon's low curse as Yato attacked again—how could he move so fast and do so much damage when he didn't even have a weapon?—and an ayakashi that had survived the earlier onslaught hurtled in from the other side. Everything was so fast, a whirlwind of movement, but even Yukine could tell how much Bishamon had slowed from earlier. With the injuries and blight, who could blame her?

He couldn't focus on the fight, too worried about Hiyori. Heedless of Kazuma's sharp warnings, he kept shooting looks her way. Yato's dad had her pinned against him now, face all twisted up as he held her tight with the staff trapping her body. She squirmed and kicked and spat right back, looking more furious than scared although she had to be terrified.

"Hiyo–"

"Oh, forget that!" Bishamon cried in frustration. She aimed a kick at Yato's chest and twisted around. "He's not going to focus until she's free, and honestly, he's right. We can't just leave her in the sorcerer's clutches."

"Veena," Kazuma started.

"Gaiki," she interrupted. She dropped the left blade, and Yukine winced reflexively as it clattered on the pebbles hiding in the grass. The pistol sprang to her hand in his place, and she aimed it at Yato's dad while slashing defensively with the right blade to keep a thin barrier of steel between her and Yato and the ayakashi. Yukine grabbed the reins to compensate for her distraction and managed to twist just in time to slice the tip of a spindly leg off the spider-like phantom. "Kazuma, can you hone in on a good shot?"

"Not without hitting Hiyori," he said. "They're in bad position and she's practically a shield for him right now. You'd have to go in for close quarters combat to force him to let her go and take up his own weapon."

She made a guttural sound of frustration that ended with a hiss of pain as Yukine missed his mark and Yato scored a shallow slash across her exposed arm. It seemed like his very touch was making the blight worse.

"Sorry," Yukine blurted.

She didn't bother answering. "We can't do that," she said instead, palpable aggravation seeping through her gritted teeth.

"_Why?_" Yukine demanded. "We already did once."

He didn't understand her insistence on only long-ranged attacks, especially when she'd attacked head-on after Kuraha went down.

"That was a mistake," she said. "I shouldn't have let myself be goaded into it."

"But why–?"

"Revert Karuha," Kazuma said. "Karuha, draw a borderline between Hiyori and the sorcerer. Be careful—it will be tricky with them tangled together."

"I'll do my best!" Karuha said immediately, no questions asked. Yukine sure hoped she was better at drawing borderlines than she used to be.

Bishamon barely waited a second longer before nodding. "Karuha."

She called on Karuha and snapped out Yukine's vessel name in practically the same breath, and the other blade jumped back to her hand just as the gun left it. Yukine fended off another attack by Yato and slashed the other ayakashi until it wailed in its otherworldly cacophony of voices and retreated a pace. Karuha materialized beside them and drew in a breath.

"Borderline!"

She faltered, mouth half-open. It wasn't her borderline.

Yukine darted a glance back to see Kinuha behind them. She was gasping for breath, her normally impeccable clothing rumpled and her hair a flyaway mess. A moment later, Karuha found her voice.

"Borderline!" she cried, and Yukine looked back as Yato slammed into the glowing barrier with a loud thump. He winced at how close he'd come to letting Bishamon take another hit while he was distracted.

Bishamon lowered the blades until the points rested on the ground as she tried to catch her breath. She nodded to Karuha before frowning over at Kinuha and Hiyori, who were backing away from the borderline separating them from Yato's dad.

"Is she okay?" Yukine demanded.

"Where have you been?" Bishamon asked at the same time. Then, more importantly, "Are you both alright?"

Kinuha scowled, a strange mix of peevishness and sheepishness. "Hiyori thought it was a good idea to leave us outside the restroom and climb out a window. I've been looking for her everywhere. The goddess of poverty and her guidepost are still searching."

"Sorry," Hiyori mumbled as she shook herself off and cast an uneasy glance back at Yato's dad through the glowing barrier. "But I wanted to help. I'm fine, just…"

"Are you giving up already?" Yato's dad called. He twirled Chiki casually in his hands and his lips curved into a half-smile, but his eyes glittered hard and cold and furious. "It would be a shame to run away now."

"We aren't going anywhere," Bishamon snapped back. "Not until you fix Yato and Kuraha."

Yukine swallowed hard and looked back at Kuraha's lifeless form stretched across the ground just behind where Yato was clawing at the borderline. He hadn't been able to think about it while fighting for his life, but now bitterness at the unfairness of Kuraha's fate welled up inside him. No one deserved something so horrible, especially not someone as steady and supportive as Kuraha.

"Maybe we _should _think about retreating and regrouping," Karuha said tentatively, earning a mumble of assent from her brother. She twisted her hands together as she looked between their opponents and then back at Bishamon. "You're hurt and worn down, and Aiha… And the blight isn't helping."

Aiha didn't offer her own opinion, but judging by the bits and pieces of metal that had been torn off her armor, she wasn't in good shape. Yukine couldn't imagine how much that would hurt.

And the reminder of the blight only made it burn hotter. He could _feel _it inching along his skin, spreading from Bishamon like plague. It made him want to crawl right out of his skin to make it _stop_. How had Yato endured it for so long?

Bishamon looked terrible. Her shinki were shuddering under the blight she was unwillingly inflicting on them. Yukine wasn't feeling all that great either.

But as sensible as the suggestion to regroup and fight another day might be, Yukine _could not _give up now. No matter how hopeless it might seem, he couldn't just leave Yato here like this. And considering that Yato was looking pretty terrible too, they needed to end this now.

"We can't just–" he started

"No," Kazuma interrupted. "We can't give the sorcerer the opportunity to regroup and come up with a plan to negate Yukine's value as a weapon to us. You can bet the next battle will be fought on his terms. And if we leave now, Kuraha has no chance."

Hiyori watched them curiously, trying to gauge how the conversation was going when she could only hear one side of it. "We aren't giving up, right?" she asked. "Yukine–"

"No," Bishamon said flatly. "We can't afford to drag this out any longer… We just need Yukine to cooperate fully."

"What–?"

"What _happened _to Kuraha?" Kinuha asked, stepping forward to peer at his unmoving form on the other side of the barrier. She stepped back as Yato slammed into the borderline full force, practically making it shudder at the impact.

"Yato got him with the brush," Bishamon said grimly. "It seems to be some kind of attempted possession by an ayakashi…hence the blight."

Kinuha's eyes widened. "You can't be serious? An ayakashi would kill him!"

"Exactly," Kazuha said, exchanging a look with his sister.

"Do you think that's the same way the sorcerer possessed Yato?" Aiha wondered aloud, the first words she'd spoken in a long time.

Kinuha threw her a disbelieving look. "What does it matter?"

"Well… I just thought… That eye symbol he painted on Kuraha, it reminded me of–"

"The masks," Yukine said with a sudden jolt of realization.

"Yeah."

"And with the masked ayakashi from the first brush," Kazuma said slowly, "the mask was a weak point."

Yukine's heart lifted in elation as he remembered how easily the masked ayakashi vanished once he and Yato broke their masks. But then it fell precipitously and sank back down into his stomach.

"But it doesn't need masks anymore," he said. "And even if the symbol is some kind of weak point, it disappeared right away. We'd never find it on him."

Bishamon opened her mouth, only for Kazuma to cut her off.

"Be careful, Veena," he said. "Don't give anything away to the sorcerer."

She pressed her lips together and nodded before saying, "Of course. But I think it's worth a shot."

"What is?" Hiyori asked. Kinuha leaned in and whispered into her ear. Her eyes widened. "Do you really think so?"

Yukine thought their excitement was premature, even if the same hope lighting their eyes was stubbornly tugging at his heartstrings too.

"You can't hide forever," Yato's dad said. His trademark smug amusement was back, and the anger had faded from his eyes as he smirked at them. "Yaboku still wants to play with you."

On cue, Yato slammed into Karuha's borderline again. Yukine did a double take as he noticed the hairline cracks spiderwebbing the barrier.

"He's breaking through!" Kinuha said in alarm.

Bishamon cursed. "Not again. I thought maybe last time he was doing more damage because Yukine's borderline was weak to him."

Maybe Yukine could have accepted that explanation, that his borderline couldn't have held Yato at bay for long because he couldn't truly see him as an enemy regardless of the ayakashi buried in his chest, but Karuha should have no such qualms. Yato really _was _just that strong… The unholy combination of god and phantom was fearsome. And even with all that power, Yato's dad still treated him like a tool, like the lowest of shinki made to serve. A god possessed by a phantom and used as a shinki. It was cruel, but the frightful power of it was undeniable.

"It's not going to hold," Karuha said, her face white and drawn in tight lines.

"We don't have long," Kazuma said briskly. "Listen, this is the best thing we have to go on right now, since our strategy clearly hasn't been working. Maybe the connection tying the ayakashi to Yato _does _have a specific weak point…or maybe the sorcerer found a way to reduce it to that afterwards to make sure Yukine couldn't separate the phantom from Yato so easily the second time around. Or maybe there's no connection at all. Either way, it's worth a shot."

"Yeah, it sounds good, but where _is _it?" Yukine shot back. "I can't just stab him all over in the hopes of hitting some magical weak spot that may or may not exist."

Kazuma was quiet for a moment before saying, "The sorcerer always put the masks over the forehead, didn't he?"

Yukine swallowed hard, and the tension built up inside him until the swords were practically vibrating in Bishamon's hands. "You could be right…but you also might not be. What's going to happen if I try stabbing him as hard as I can through his freaking brain and it turns out there's no weak point there at all?"

"You just have to trust yourself," Bishamon said. "You've been losing faith in yourself the whole time, which is undoubtedly part of the reason you're having a hard time hitting the ayakashi without getting Yato too. And you need to trust us too. We need you to be part of our team to pull this off."

There was a moment of silence, in which Yukine imagined everyone was waiting for his answer. He couldn't deny that his self-confidence had been steadily draining with each failure. Most traitorous of all, he was having a harder time than before of separating Yato from the ayakashi with his borderlines. Which wasn't fair to Yato at all, but those dead eyes were so unlike him and Yukine was having such a hard time finding traces of the god he loved there.

But underneath all that, he was _sure _there was something different from last time, that something was making it more difficult to just slice cleanly through with a borderline. He couldn't just set his borderline and tug Yato through to leave the ayakashi pounding impotently on the other side, not this time. Yato's dad had almost certainly looked for a way to make it more difficult to pull off such a trick again, and he'd had plenty of time to search while performing his other experiments. They weren't going to be able to save Yato the same way this time.

So maybe it didn't matter if this was a long-shot or pipedream, because they had no other plan and were quickly running out of options. They had to try _something_. With all the crazy things Yukine had done over the past couple weeks, what was one thing more?

"Okay," he decided. "Let's try it."

He tried to sound more confident than he felt. What choice did they have?

"Good," Kazuma said. "Follow instructions. We only have a shot if we're working together. Kinuha, cover Hiyori and keep up your borderline. The last thing we need is the sorcerer sticking his nose in. Try not to lose her this time."

"Got it," Kinuha said. "You're with me, Hiyori. No more running off for heroics."

"Okay." Hiyori's gaze skittered back and forth in the empty space around Bishamon, searching for something she couldn't quite make out. "And…is Yukine alright?"

"Are any of us?" Bishamon asked dryly, acid pessimism bleaching her voice before she shook her head and let out a harsh breath. "As well as can be expected. Better after we finish this."

Yukine couldn't argue with that.

Yato clawed at the borderline, fingers scrabbling along the surface and searching for purchase in the cracks. The cracks pulled ever wider, and Yukine watched in horrified fascination. He'd never seen a borderline _do _that before.

He tried to look past that and see Yato. Not an ayakashi wearing Yato's body, but _Yato_. Yukine would anything to bring back his stupid grin and loud laugh and the mischievous sparkle in his eyes.

"We're out of time," Kazuma said as Karuha's borderline began to crumble. "I hope you've had enough time to rest, Veena. Karuha, follow my lead on your next borderline. We can use it to corral his movement now that we can't rely on Kuraha. Veena, we need to draw him in close and maneuver him into the optimal position so that Yukine can hit him. We'll have to get close, but don't let him get a hit in on you. Kazuha, stand by. We might need you in a second. Aiha, hold in there. And Yukine, pull yourself together and hit him with everything you've got. Everything is riding on you right now."

There was a chorus of agreement, varying in degree of enthusiasm, determination, and tension. Yukine managed a wordless sound of assent, the best he could do when his vocal cords were too tight to manage proper speech.

"Karuha, drop the borderline and follow Kazuma's instructions," Bishamon said.

The girl hesitated before nodding. The damaged borderline shimmered and dissipated.

Yato had no such reservations. The instant the barrier vanished, he came hurtling straight at them without so much as a second to catch his breath. The injured but still feisty ayakashi followed close on his heels in a tangle of ghostly green limbs, chittering loudly.

"Karuha, put up a borderline to keep the other ayakashi back," Kazuma barked. "Keep it behind Yato—we'll restrict his movement between the two borderlines."

"But we can just kill it," Yukine said. Bishamon stabbed at Yato's face, but the god dodged around the strike quicker than a viper and took a chunk out of her side before she beat him off. "It's just an ayakashi."

"Not the priority. Forget that one—it's just getting in the way. Just do what I say and follow orders."

Yukine pressed his lips together, but he didn't have much time to sulk before he was back to fending off Yato. Karuha threw up the borderline, blocking out the other ayakashi and limiting Yato's ability to retreat backwards.

"We need to be able to work at taking out Yato without having something else sneaking in to hit us from behind," Aiha explained quietly as Kazuma went back to his calculations, trying to maneuver everyone into getting a clear shot at the spot they hoped Yato's weak point might be. "And now that he's stuck between us and the borderline, he can really only go left or right. If we can predict that and corner him, it'll be much easier to hit our target."

Yukine was too busy struggling to fend off Yato to respond, but he could—grudgingly—see the logic. His mistrust of Kazuma was only slowing them now. He couldn't afford to question all of his former mentor's motives and reasons and orders right now. Grudges could be held afterwards. Yukine did his best to focus on Kazuma's string of calculations and orders, along with Bishamon's own movements and attacks.

This new resolve was sorely tested when Kazuma had Bishamon aim Yukine's right blade at a spot well to the right of Yato's head, at a patch of dead space. But Yukine remembered the last time, when Kazuma's calculations had pushed Yato there right as Yukine veered off because he thought he knew better, and he made the split-second decision to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Summon Kazuha," Kazuma said.

The pistol was in Bishamon's left hand before Yukine even realized she had dropped his other blade. Kazuma was spitting out angles and trajectories that set Yukine's head spinning, but Bishamon was already firing off the shot. Yukine's heart jumped into his throat, but the bullet whizzed by a hairsbreadth from Yato's ear.

Yato jerked to the right reflexively to avoid the bullet—right into the path of Yukine's blade. Yukine had half a second as he went hurtling straight at Yato's face to decide if he should really do this. If they were wrong, he could skewer the god right through the brain. He caught a blurred glimpse of dull blue eyes staring through his soul, and a sudden impulse seized him. He didn't have time to think it through and decide whether it made sense. All he had time to do was _act_.

He angled downward, just a little lower than Kazuma's projection, right at those blank eyes. If there was anything that made the god the most unlike himself, it was those eyes. There was nothing of Yato left in them, and it made Yukine hate them more than anything. If eyes were the windows to the soul, these only reminded him of how Yato's had been stolen from him.

His anger turned into panic again—_what if he was wrong and he was going to kill Yato and how could he possibly do this?_—but there wasn't time to correct his trajectory anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut, too afraid to see the aftermath, just as he slammed into something hard and unyielding.

He cracked one eye open to see the symbol of a large, unblinking eye shimmering in the air a hairsbreadth from Yato's face like a hidden mask. The tip of his blade was planted right in the center. Bishamon threw her whole weight behind it, and Yukine's surprise hardened into steely determination. He pushed as hard as he could, desperate to break through the magic.

Yato—the ayakashi wearing Yato's face—reared back with a loud hiss, but Bishamon pressed her advantage and followed after him. She pushed at the seal mercilessly, even when Yato slammed back against Karuha's borderline and began to wail in a voice that was laced with an otherworldly ayakashi note but still had a little too much of Yato in it. Yukine only hesitated a moment before gritting his teeth and forging on. He tried to shut out the sound, but he could hear Yato's cries slicing through his very soul.

He could _feel _the resistance of the seal, a little slippery like glass and solid as if it were actually one of the old masks. But that was good. Yukine hadn't been able to get any purchase when trying to hit the ayakashi before, but he had a solid opponent now.

Yato flattened against the borderline and squirmed, hands scrabbling claw-like at Bishamon's arm as he tried to push her off. He tried the same desperate tactic on the blade itself and sliced his hands open. Blood dripped down the steel and Yukine's stomach turned, but he felt something starting to give.

The seal shuddered under the force and then began to crack apart, slowly first and then all at once. It shattered in an explosion of breaking magic, drawing one more agonized scream from Yato.

The shockwave pushed Yukine back, so at least he didn't immediately skewer Yato through the eyeball. Bishamon didn't wait for the dust to settle to take stock of the situation. She whipped up the other blade—somewhere in the midst of all the chaos, she'd unsummoned Kazuha and called Yukine's other half back to her hand—and slashed it diagonally across Yato's chest. Yukine threw caution to the wind and put everything he had into the blow, more confident than ever that he could separate the ayakashi from the god.

The blade passed through Yato like air and connected with something solid and supernatural coiled tight inside him like a spring. Hope surged in Yukine's chest—this time his borderlines were working!

The ayakashi screeched and parts of its draconian form emerged like a ghost floating free of Yato's body now that the connection was severed, but it didn't give its dying cry and disappear.

"That should have been enough to kill it!" Yukine said in dismay. He'd certainly put enough force into the blow, and so had Bishamon.

"It must still be getting some protection from Yato, using him like a shield," Kazuma said. "We need to separate them completely. If we–"

Bishamon dropped the left blade—_again_, and Yukine was getting a little tired of being thrown around—and reached out to grab the ayakashi's neck with her bare hand. Locking the phantom in a viselike grip, she yanked at it with all her strength. After a moment of resistance, it screeched and came tumbling forward as she tugged it right out of the other god. Yato's eyes rolled back and he collapsed to the ground in a boneless heap without another sound.

No sooner had Bishamon pulled it free than she swung the other blade up with maximum force. The sight of the beast that had been killing Yato from the inside sparked Yukine's rage into a full-fledged inferno. He didn't think his blade had ever been sharper.

The ayakashi wailed as it was practically cleaved in half and finally—_finally_—vanished. Yukine blinked at the empty spot where it had been, not quite able to believe that it was finally over.

"Or I guess we could just do it that way," Kazuma muttered.

Yukine snapped out of his daze as his gaze fell on Yato sprawled across the ground. "Is he alright?"

Bishamon pivoted on her heel and glowered at Yato's dad through the barrier separating them. "I will see you rot in hell," she said coldly.

The sorcerer's knuckles were white and bloodless clenched around Chiki. Yukine was taken aback by the fury contorting his features. He'd never seen him lose control like that.

"You have been nothing but problems from the start," he snarled, eyes burning like coals. "All of you. But if you think you've won, think again. I've had centuries to build my plans, and this is only one piece. Don't worry, I'll get Yaboku back. He's always been mine, and I've put too much time and effort into grooming him to let you take him from me. Enjoy your victory while you can—I'll kill you all in the end and bring the heavens to its knees."

"Just give it up already," Hiyori snapped. "And leave Yato alone. As if we'd ever let you win."

Yukine silently cheered her on for saying exactly what he wanted to.

"We should take him out while we have the chance," Kazuma said. "Before he disappears again."

Bishamon clenched her jaw. "Now isn't the time," she said through gritted teeth, reluctance tugging at every word. "We're in no shape for fighting him head on right now. We need time to recover."

"But–"

"I know you're upset about Tsuguha and Kuraha and Yato. I am too. But as much as I'd like to take his head off, I'm one good push from falling over and you're all blighted too. And it's more important to take care of Kuraha right now. That's our priority."

"…Right." Kazuma didn't sound happy, but the logic seemed to clear the bloodlust from his mind.

Yukine wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed. He thought he might be just angry enough to actually kill someone, and that bastard was high on the list. But yet again, he found his hands tied when he considered that Yato's dad might also be the god's lifeline.

"He's still dangerous, but at least he won't be running around possessing people now that Hiyori has the brush," Bishamon said in a conciliatory tone.

Hiyori flinched and a troubled expression flitted over her face. "Actually… He got it back from me when he was attacking me."

Yukine's heart sank. He didn't want that brush anywhere near the man, not when he might be able to use it to possess Yato again. But remembering the earlier struggle, Hiyori was lucky that the brush was the only thing she'd lost.

Bishamon cursed.

No hint of the expected smirk tugged at the sorcerer's lips. His face was still painted with fury as he backed away from the borderline.

"We'll meet again," he said, halfway between a threat and a promise.

He retreated hastily. Once Nora materialized beside him again, they seemed to vanish into thin air. Obviously he wasn't keen on sticking around to see if Bishamon changed her mind, but Yukine knew this wasn't the last they'd seen of him. Once he set his next scheme into motion, he'd be back.

But for now, Yukine didn't care about that.

"Do you think he's okay?" he asked, fidgeting anxiously as he searched Yato for any sign of life. "He'll recover, right? Do you think–?"

"Yukine," said Bishamon.

She was already striding off before he'd finished materializing, leaving him to rush over to Yato and fall to his knees in the grass. Hiyori had beat him there. She had already managed to roll Yato onto his back and was feeling for his pulse.

"I think he's just unconscious," she said uncertainly. "He has a lot to recuperate from."

Yukine had no patience for that, and shook the god's shoulders roughly. "Hey, wake up!"

"Let him rest," Hiyori said. "He probably needs–"

A gunshot rang out with a loud crack, followed quickly by a second. Yukine jerked back instinctively and stopped shaking Yato. His head snapped to the side, and he saw that Bishamon was still pointing Kazuha's pistol at Kuraha's side. He hoped that had been enough to sever the connection and kill the phantom…and that it was still something Kuraha could recover from.

"Did it work?" Kinuha asked in a hushed voice from where she and Karuha were also gathered around the lion's still form.

"I think so," Bishamon grunted. "It's dead, anyway. We need to get him and Yato back home immediately to treat injuries and blight…and the rest of us, too."

"What happened to the other ayakashi?" Karuha wondered aloud. "The one that was behind my borderline? It's just…gone."

"We did a lot of damage to it…" Kinuha shrugged. "It's probably dead."

Yukine wasn't in the mood to dwell on any of that. He swallowed hard and looked down at Yato's slack face.

They had won, so why was he still too afraid to celebrate? Maybe because he knew it wasn't over. Yato's eyes were closed and his features still and expressionless, but they wouldn't stay that way. What would happen when the life came back to his eyes?

"Don't worry," Hiyori said. "I'm sure he'll wake up soon."

"Yeah," said Yukine quietly. Yato's face blurred behind a film of unshed tears. "That's what I'm afraid of."

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**Note: Y'all might recall that I hate writing fight scenes. Even just _editing _this chapter was exhausting x.x But yay, at least we're finally getting somewhere?**


	13. Not every reunion is a happy one

**Note: Stay healthy, guys. Hope y'all are all taking precautions and staying safe.**

**Aofery: Lol yeah, there's still a liiittle bit of drama left before we wrap things up, although we're getting close to the end now. Don't worry, your questions will be answered...in time XD No problem :) Always nice to hear from you.**

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**Chapter 13**

_(In which not every reunion is a happy one.)_

* * *

Yukine curled up in the chair he'd pulled up to Yato's bedside, Hiyori beside him in a chair of her own. So far, the god hadn't stirred. Even when Bishamon and her team hurriedly transported him and Kuraha back to Takamagahara, eager to get everyone to safety before the sorcerer changed his mind and launched another attack after all, Yato hadn't so much as twitched. He was breathing, at least, although it was slow and shallow and almost insubstantial.

They'd wrapped his wounds and settled him back in bed, but that was the best they could do for now. He was still deathly pale and gaunt, with blight that wouldn't wash out bruising his skin. He didn't _look _like someone who would be waking up any time soon.

Kofuku's voice grew loud and sharp outside the door before falling back to a hushed hum. She and Daikoku had appeared a few hours ago, having finally tracked Hiyori down. They had fussed over Yato and Yukine and Hiyori, but they'd been shut in with Bishamon and Kazuma for a while now. Yukine hadn't bothered asking what they were discussing. They wouldn't tell him anyway.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Hiyori asked for what might have been the hundredth time.

She never had gone back to school, nor had she headed home even though it was nearly nine in the evening. She had only left Yukine's—and, by extension, Yato's—side once during that time, and that was to check on Kuraha. She had reported back that he was out of sorts but stable after a good cleansing and improvised ablution, which Yukine was glad to hear. But after the initial relief, Yukine sank back into his anxiety.

"Yes," he mumbled.

Hiyori did not look convinced. "He'll be okay, you'll see."

"Will he?" he murmured, equally unconvinced. "I mean, he was a mess last time. Whatever his dad and that ayakashi did, they really shook him up."

"He's resilient," Hiyori said, but the lines of her face were tinged with doubt now too and her eyes were sad as she studied Yato.

"He might not be the same."

She was quiet for a moment. "Maybe not," she said finally. "But maybe we won't be either."

Yukine flinched, even though the words weren't meant to be weapons. No, they wouldn't be the same. Not Hiyori, who had been forced to watch helplessly as Yato faded and whose involvement in their world was putting her and her family into more danger than ever before. And not Yukine, whose choices would haunt him forever. The extra name burned the back of his hand, even though he'd long since cleansed his blight.

"Maybe not," he conceded.

Hiyori sighed, long and low. "I wish I could have done something."

Yukine tore his gaze away from Yato to eye her in disbelief. "Are you serious? You jumped out of nowhere like a crazy person to get the brush away from Yato so that we had a chance to cut the ayakashi out. You kept me sane this whole time, while I was falling apart." He frowned and looked down at his hands as he thought back to his behavior before Yato's second possession, prickly and distant as he yelled and raged and hated. "And…you were with him the whole time, even when I wasn't."

"…Yeah. I guess sometimes it's just that no matter how much you do or how hard you try, it's never quite enough." She lapsed back into silence, and Yukine grunted in agreement. "But we won!" she said more brightly. "We saved Yato, and he'll be okay once he wakes up. Everything is working out. Why worry about the past when we have so much to be thankful for?"

Yukine couldn't summon up adequate enthusiasm. He knew he should let it all go and just be happy that Yato was safe, but there were too many concerns still weighing on his mind. This wasn't over, not by a long shot.

"Yeah," he mumbled anyway.

Hiyori's eyes softened back to something sad and regretful. She leaned over and took Yukine's hands in hers, making him flinch in surprise.

"I know there's still a lot of things to work out." She searched his face with wide, solemn eyes and squeezed his hands tighter. "But it will be okay. Yato will understand. And he'll still love you just the same. You'll see."

Far from being comforting, the words set Yukine's stomach churning again. He did not want to consider Yato's reaction when he woke up, even if it was all he could think about. He didn't want to see the betrayal in Yato's eyes. He didn't want Yato to hate him. And he wasn't sure he wanted Yato to just forgive him so easily either, because he didn't deserve that. He couldn't come up with any scenario that would make him happy. Even the best possibilities tasted salty and bittersweet on his tongue.

"How much do you think he'll remember?" he asked in a thin, reedy voice. "Maybe he won't really remember that much since he was so out of it. If Bishamon releases me before he wakes up and–"

"Yukine." Hiyori looked so sad that Yukine snapped his mouth shut. "He's going to know. Even if he doesn't remember, all of this isn't going to stay secret forever. And really, it probably shouldn't. You won't feel good hiding it all from him, and… He honestly deserves to know, don't you think?"

Yukine pulled his hands out of Hiyori's and hunched down in his seat, his shoulders poking up around his ears. He stared glassily at Yato's slack face, still graced with the innocence of sleep. No, it wouldn't be fair to lie to Yato anymore. And these weren't secrets Yukine could keep, even if everyone else involved somehow kept their mouths shut. He'd probably end up blighting Yato…again.

"I know," he mumbled. "I just…don't want him to know, even though I know he has to."

"It will be okay," Hiyori said again. The shadows didn't clear from her eyes. "The worst is already over. We just need a little time to recuperate, that's all. We all did what we had to, and these are the results we got. It could have been a lot worse."

Yukine nodded to himself. "It could have."

He latched on to that with all his strength. It was true, the outcome could have been much worse. However bad things seemed, however rocky the path ahead might be, they had rescued Yato and Hiyori was still here and Bishamon and all her shinki had survived. That was something to be grateful for. At least his awful choices hadn't been for nothing.

They sat in silence for a long time, watching Yato as if he might wake up at any moment and make their little family complete again. They had already said all the words that could make a difference at this moment—now they just had to wait and see.

Yukine's fingers twitched and curled in his clothing, every shallow rise and fall of Yato's chest setting him on edge. He tried to write out his apologies in his head, but even though they were burned into his heart already, they felt brittle as if they'd crumble to ash the second he opened his mouth and let the words hit the air. All the planning in the world was not going to prepare him for this.

The door creaked open, and they both twisted around. Bishamon stepped inside, followed by Kazuma, Kofuku, and Daikoku. Daikoku closed the door behind them.

"You're still here," Bishamon observed with a frown that said she wasn't entirely pleased but wasn't surprised either.

"How's Kuraha?" Yukine asked.

Her frown deepened, but relief glimmered in her eyes. "Not feeling great, but he's stable. We had a hell of a time figuring out how to leverage an ablution to cut out the blight we couldn't cleanse normally. He's lucky we took care of it quickly. I don't think he would have lasted much longer."

"That's good. Speaking of ablutions, we need to hold one. I'm afraid that the blight is making it harder for Yato to recover."

"I don't doubt it, but…" Bishamon glanced sidelong at Kazuma, who pressed his lips together but nodded. "We think it would be better to wait until Yato wakes up. Ablutions are dangerous at the best of times, and Yato is the best one to guide you through it. I think you'll need him there, because this all ties back to him."

"But–!"

"As much as I'd like to have an ablution right now to cleanse Veena, you would just blight her again," Kazuma said. "Until you work things out with Yato, the guilt is just going to keep coming back. You need forgiveness from your master before you forgive yourself, and the absolution of your peers will not be able to substitute."

Yukine opened his mouth, closed it again. He understood where they were coming from, but how could he just sit around and wait? Didn't Yato have enough hurting him without the blight on top of it? Yukine didn't want to slow his recovery any more than he already had.

"Yato-chan is strong," Kofuku said, although she still sounded much more subdued than her normal sunny self. "He'll pull through and you can have a proper reunion to work things out. Wouldn't you rather talk to him first?"

Yukine wasn't sure he wanted to do any such thing, but he was afraid he would have to. It was inevitable, but he would do his best to ignore it until the time came.

"Well," he said instead, turning back to Bishamon, "if you aren't going to help me do an ablution, you might as well release me now."

Suddenly, Bishamon was looking anywhere but at him. "I, ah, think we should talk to Yato first."

That was the _exact _opposite of what Yukine wanted.

"I'd rather take care of it _before_ he wakes up," he said. "You said you would release me when it was over."

"And I will," she said a little defensively. "But we'd better make sure it's over first. We'll see how he is when he wakes up."

"But–"

"Once I release you, I can't name you again." She met his gaze and tilted her chin up defiantly. "The sorcerer is still at large and has the brush he used to possess Yato in the first place. If something happens and he gets his hands on Yato, I won't be able to just name you again so that we can rescue him like last time."

That gave Yukine a moment's pause. It did seem a little risky to cut off their backup rescue method so completely, but the thought of keeping Bishamon's mark _just in case_ didn't sit well with him.

"Well, it's not like he'll be leaving Takamagahara any time soon," he reasoned. "He should be safe."

"He's never going to leave Takamagahara again?" Bishamon asked skeptically. "The sorcerer might have suffered a serious setback, but he's not finished. We'll try again, of course, but we need time to recover first and I don't know how long it might take to locate him. I agree that you and Yato should stay here for a while, but it can't be forever."

Yukine's nails dug half-crescent welts into his palms as he clenched his fists tight. He didn't like where this was going. He had been so preoccupied with the past and its very immediate consequences that he had neglected to consider much after the point when Yato finally woke.

What _were _they supposed to do? He was afraid of killing the sorcerer, but would Yato ever be safe with his father on the loose? Would Hiyori? They couldn't hide up in the heavens forever, but could they live peacefully on the Near Shore? Maybe they'd be safe enough if they stuck together and kept their eyes open, but sooner or later their guard would slip and the sorcerer would have his chance to strike.

The future seemed like a big, nebulous blob, where mere weeks ago he had taken it for granted that he'd wake up in Kofuku's attic every day with his master beside him and visit Hiyori and work in the shop and go on dumb jobs with Yato. The normal and mundane suddenly seemed far away and hard to grasp. They were trapped in limbo, too afraid to take the next step when every option seemed treacherous.

But still, he was so desperate to get rid of the scar tissue marring his hand that he didn't want to listen to what-ifs. He wanted it _gone_. He couldn't live constantly torn between two masters, praying Yato wouldn't give up on him.

"I can't," he said in a thin voice. "I–"

"I promised Yato." Sympathy shone in Bishamon's eyes, but her gaze was firm and unyielding. "I promised him that I'd take care of you if anything happened to him, as you pointed out when you convinced me to name you in the first place. If I release you now and something happens to him, I can't offer you another name. I want to talk to him first."

Yukine's heart sank. Bishamon had too much honor to break a promise, especially one he'd already used against her. Yukine had betrayed Yato so many times in the past couple weeks that he couldn't bring himself to take even a secondhand role in another one.

"Whatever," he said hollowly.

Hiyori snuck a surreptitious hand over to curl around his fingers. He didn't look over, but he squeezed back.

Bishamon sighed. "Hiyori, you should go. It's late."

Fabric rustled as Hiyori straightened up in her chair. "But–"

"Your parents will worry, especially since you skipped half the school day. And it's not good for you to be separated from your body for so long. Aren't you already starting to feel the effects? You can come back tomorrow. It's even Saturday, so you can come whenever you want."

Hiyori's reluctance was palpable, thickening the air, but she was too smart not to see the truth in it.

"It's okay," Yukine said quietly. "I'll call you if he wakes up."

"Alright," she said. When he glanced over, her face was set in tired, unhappy lines. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll be back in the morning."

"Yeah."

"We'll take you home," Daikoku said. "And we'll shadow you for a while, just in case."

"Thank you," Hiyori mumbled.

"Don't worry, Yato-chan will wake up soon!" There was an emphatic exclamation point to Kofuku's words, but her eyes were shadowed. "And then we can have a big party and celebrate!"

Yukine looked away. It didn't seem like anyone much felt like celebrating, even though they had 'won'.

He submitted to a bone-crushing hug from Kofuku and gruff "good night, you'll be alright, kid" from Daikoku and watched as they ushered Hiyori out the door. She looked over her shoulder as she went, worrying her lip as she took one last look at Yato and offered Yukine a wobbly smile.

"See you tomorrow," she said.

Yukine just nodded and frowned back down at Yato.

"You too," Kazuma said. "You need to eat something and get some sleep."

"No."

"You aren't doing yourself any good, or Yato and Veena. You still need to take care of yourself."

"Not now."

"Yu–"

"That's fine for tonight," Bishamon interrupted. "We'll leave you to it. Come, Kazuma."

Kazuma whispered a harsh protest, and Yukine glanced back to see Bishamon steering him out of the room with a firm hand on his arm.

"It's good that you worry about him," she whispered under her breath as she propelled him out the door, "but he's not in any state to listen to good advice right now, especially not from us. Leave him alone tonight. Maybe he'll feel better tomorrow."

The door clicked shut behind them, cutting off the rest of the hushed argument. Yukine shrugged to himself, dropped his chin onto his knees, and resumed his vigil. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

Yukine woke slowly, groggily, and scraped grit from his eyes. A blanket had been draped over his lap and tucked in about his shoulders. His first thought was that Yato had done it—the god had done such embarrassingly caring things before, usually while Yukine was safely asleep and couldn't hit him for them—but he was still lying as still as death in the bed.

Hazy snippets of memory filtered back: stirring as a blanket brushed his skin, the soft murmur of unremembered words, a bleary smear of lavender and gold before he sank back into sleep. He thought about tossing the blanket aside, but instead pulled it tighter and settled back down to keep watch again.

It was a boring, thankless task. No matter how hard he stared, Yato didn't stir. Whatever Yukine's reservations, he would give anything to see Yato's eyes open right now. He wanted them to open and sparkle with life again, to reassure him that the ayakashi was truly gone.

When Bishamon marched in a few minutes later carrying a breakfast tray, Yukine bit his lip and looked down at the blanket in his lap and accepted the food. Bishamon practically beamed, even if he only managed to choke down half of it.

Hiyori turned up not long after that, Kofuku and Daikoku trailing on her heels. Although Yukine didn't feel much like talking, he appreciated her comforting presence and let Kofuku's bubbly chatter lift his spirits just a little.

Throughout it all, Yato stayed stubbornly asleep. Yukine imagined he was looking a little less ghastly today, breathing a little deeper, looking more asleep than dead. But he didn't wake up. If Yukine wasn't sure everyone would jump on him and shower him with disapproval, he might've given in to temptation and shaken the god until his bones rattled and he _had _to wake up.

Instead, he sat and watched. His melancholy and nerves were starting to morph into impatience. He didn't like waiting games.

No matter how antsy he got, he didn't leave until Kuraha poked his head into the room around two o'clock.

"You're up!" Yukine said. "How are you feeling?"

Kuraha smiled wanly. There were shadows beneath his eyes and he was a little pale, but other than that he seemed well enough.

"I'm fine," he said. "Although it was a close call there." A shadow passed over his face as his gaze slid past Yukine to rest on Yato, still lying motionless beneath the covers. "At least the sorcerer couldn't dance me like a puppet. I don't envy your master."

Yukine swallowed hard. "Yeah."

"Why don't you come get some lunch with me, Yukine?"

Yukine hesitated and cast a glance back at Yato.

"You can go," Hiyori said. "I'll be here in case something happens. I'll get you if Yato wakes up. Anyway, you've been hiding in here for way too long. You should stretch your legs for a minute and get something to eat."

Yukine wasn't entirely convinced that he wanted to leave, but staying here _was _driving him crazy. And he wouldn't feel good about turning Kuraha down after everything. Anyway, he'd just be right down the hall and could be back at a moment's notice.

He pulled himself to his feet and nearly toppled back over as his legs exploded in pins and needles of excruciating intensity. Hiyori stood up so fast that her chair scraped loudly against the floor and grabbed his arm to steady him.

"Yato wouldn't be happy to see that you aren't taking care of yourself," she said with heavy disapproval.

It had been a while since Hiyori had chastised him so bluntly, had dared to when he was on the verge of cracking apart, but he realized it was probably something he needed to hear. He mumbled a halfhearted apology and shook some feeling back into his legs before following after Kuraha.

As he slipped out the door, he caught a glimpse of Kazuma's raised eyebrows and Bishamon's half-smile. Remembering Bishamon's word of caution to Kazuma last night, he wondered if she had suggested such a venture to Kuraha.

Kuraha was limping a little—from the injuries Yato had inflicted on him or the aftereffects of being forcibly pushed across the line to join an ayakashi, Yukine wasn't sure—but set a steady pace toward the kitchen. They drew looks from the shinki they passed in the hall, and more than a few polite queries. Everyone wanted to ask if Kuraha was feeling better and then follow up by asking Yukine how Yato was doing.

Most of them had no idea what was actually going on, but Yato's collapse outside in front of everyone hadn't exactly been easy to hide and no one had missed Bishamon rushing a blighted and unconscious Kuraha through the halls yesterday. The story was still nebulously centered around the troublesome sorcerer and his unnatural ayakashi, and Yukine had heard from Hiyori that Bishamon had told everyone they'd scored a victory against the sorcerer and slain the ayakashi that had been plaguing Yato. Close enough. Of course, as far as most everyone knew, Yato had been locked in his borrowed room for a couple weeks now after his collapse, hovering on death's doorstep and experiencing long bouts of unconsciousness.

"He's doing a little better," Yukine told anyone who asked, and he let just enough optimism shine through to believe it. After all, things could only get better from here, right?

Lunch was a simple affair since it seemed everyone else had already eaten and cleared out, and Kuraha talked about everything but Yato and the sorcerer. Yukine was impatient with the small talk. Being so preoccupied with Yato didn't leave room for much else, and he was too jittery for real conversation.

But gradually he relaxed a little bit. Somewhere along the way, Kuraha's chitchat had lulled Yukine back into some semblance of normalcy and unwound some of the knots twisting up his insides. For a few minutes, all the betrayal and uncertainty and fear seemed a little farther away. Maybe he _had _needed a few minutes away from it all.

He stayed away maybe a little longer than he'd intended to, but he reasoned that everyone kept telling him to take a break anyway. Apparently that was a mistake, as Kofuku came bursting into the kitchen right when they were starting to wrap things up.

"Yukki!" she said. "Yato-chan's awake!"

Yukine lurched to his feet. "What? Really? How is he?"

A shadow passed over her face in the form of a faint frown and knitted brows. "He's…awake. You should come. He asked where you were."

She spun on her heel and hurried back down the hall before he had the chance to answer. He rushed after her but she was faster, and he caught a glimpse of pink curls disappearing through the doorway to Yato's room as he turned the corner.

He hustled down the hallway and came to an abrupt stop just a few steps away. He could hear everyone talking inside, a feverish hum of voices blending seamlessly between excitement and worry. And then just a snatch of Yato's voice, too low and quiet to make out.

Yukine leaned forward in anticipation, but he couldn't lift his foot to take the next step. He might as well have walked straight into a borderline. All of his fears and doubts and guilt flared up again all at once, strangling him helpless.

"Don't you want to see your master?"

He turned and blinked at Kuraha owlishly. He'd completely forgotten about him in all the excitement.

"I do, just…"

His heart careened about his chest, bouncing from rib to rib to tap out a drumbeat of fevered pitch. He thought he might be sick, and then he thought he might just run away instead. Run and run and run until his side was in stitches and he couldn't breathe and he'd somehow outrun the past.

Kuraha frowned, his good eye clouding over. "You've waited long enough, don't you think? I'm sure he wants to see you too."

"Yeah, just…" Yukine swallowed, his desert-dry throat aching. "I just need a minute."

Kuraha studied Yukine like he was a puzzle that needed solving, but then his face cleared and he nodded. "Okay. Come in when you're ready."

He hobbled past Yukine to disappear into the room. Yukine waited a few seconds, still wavering between running to and away from Yato, then stumbled back a few steps to lean against the wall and close his eyes as he tried to collect himself. He didn't know how to walk in that room as easily as Kofuku or Kuraha. Just the thought of it made him sick to his stomach.

He slumped back and tried to think of anything he could say to Yato to make this better. He came up blank.

"Yukine?"

His eyes flew open and he saw Kazuma step out of the room.

"What?" he asked defensively. He could practically feel Kazuma judging him.

"Don't you want to see Yato?"

And there it was.

"In a minute," he grumbled, crossing his arms tightly across his chest and glaring at the floor. He realized that Kuraha had almost definitely sent Kazuma out to talk to him, which withered up his charitable feelings.

Kazuma hovered uncertainly but then said, "He wants to see you too, you know. You have to face him eventually."

Traitorous tears pricked fire-hot at the corners of Yukine's eyes. "I don't know how," he mumbled in a wobbly voice, his anger melting away under the stomach-churning storm of guilt and fear.

"I know it's not easy, but we all have to face up to the choices we make. You two will work things out."

"How?" he asked miserably. "How can I face him? I did literally everything he asked me not to. I gave him to his dad and left him a puppet for weeks. I bargained with the enemy and faced his dad when he told me to stay put. I took another god's _name_. I threw away the _name _he gave me."

"And you saved his life," Kazuma said gently. "When no one else dared to."

"But I betrayed him. Over and over again." The tears were coming hot and fast now, choking Yukine's voice into a strangled croak, and he scrubbed at his eyes furiously as if he could hide the evidence. "After everything he's done for me. I can't–I don't know how–I–I…"

He trailed into snuffly silence and tried to pull himself together. It didn't work. The looming encounter with Yato had been weeks in the making, and every passing day had only added to the strain. Yukine was stretched so thin that he felt ready to snap.

"Yeah," Kazuma said after a long pause. "I didn't know what to do either."

Yukine swiped his hand across his eyes and eyed the older shinki curiously. "What do you mean?"

Kazuma wasn't looking at him now, but away at some nondescript patch of floor. His eyes had clouded over, swimming with memories Yukine wasn't privy to, and his voice grew low and husky.

"I betrayed Veena too, remember? By begging Yato to kill my clan. And I hid it from her for years…centuries. Even though I knew I should tell her, I let her hate Yato because it was easier. And maybe it was better for her too, at first, to still have one shinki to rely on when she'd lost everything. But I should have come clean so much sooner instead of piling lies on top of secrets.

"It's not going to do you any good to hide things from Yato, even if you could expect that he wouldn't find out from someone else." Kazuma looked up and met Yukine's gaze squarely. His eyes blazed a brilliant but shadowed emerald. "The guilt will eat you alive, mark my words. And the truth always comes out sooner or later. It's worse when they find out you've been lying to them all along instead of being honest from the start.

"It looks bad now, but that doesn't mean things are unfixable. Sometimes when you betray someone, you've wrecked the relationship for good. And I'm sorry for that, because I didn't want to wreck what we had. But Yato isn't me…and he isn't you. He'll still forgive you. So come in and _let _him. I'm not saying it will be easy or that it won't take some time to rebuild that trust, but at least you can work on it.

"Take a minute if you need to, but you can't hide out here forever. Come in when you're ready."

He turned on his heel and marched off, shoulders squared. He didn't look back.

Yukine lurched a step after him, his feet moving of their own accord, and then ground to an uncertain halt. "I don't… You aren't…"

He hadn't forgiven Kazuma, not yet. Maybe not ever. But maybe…

Kazuma looked back with a melancholy kind of half-smile, but his eyes were clearer than they had been. "Well, we still have time to work things out too. But let's take care of this first."

But maybe someday.

Kazuma stepped back to take Yukine by the elbow and steer him gently towards the doorway. He paused, his steps faltering, and a frown pinched his brows.

"I don't know if Kofuku warned you, but he's still not really himself."

Yukine's heart jumped back into his throat and he wanted to ask what that was supposed to mean, but Kazuma was already leading him inside.

Everyone was already gathered around, even Aiha and the twins. The babble of voices ran in one ear and out the other. Yukine only had eyes for Yato, who was sitting up now and offering terse, monotone replies to the inquiries about his health.

Yukine's feet dragged to a stop as Yato's gaze slid to meet his overtop Hiyori's head. Yato's eyes weren't soulless and dead anymore, thank goodness, but they weren't vibrant and bursting with life either. They were dull like brackish puddles instead of clear and bright as wide-open sky. They gave nothing of his thoughts away, and his neutral expression didn't change at all. He said nothing and Yukine couldn't dredge up any words either, so they eyed each other in silence.

Then Hiyori twisted around in her seat to follow Yato's gaze and smiled a little shakily at Yukine. "There you are! Come on in, Yukine."

"I told you he was fine," Bishamon added.

Kazuma nudged Yukine in the back, prompting him to inch forward a couple steps. Hiyori patted the chair next to her and crooked a finger, and he crept over to perch on the very edge.

Yato's gaze followed him the whole way, unchanging.

"I'm, um, glad you're finally awake," Yukine managed, wincing at how squeaky his voice sounded. "Are you, you know, okay?"

Yato tilted his head and regarded him with that flat stare. "Okay," he repeated with an odd inflection, like he was testing the word. His voice was rough and husky like old sandpaper, creaky with disuse. "Sure. I'm okay."

Not the most convincing reassurance ever.

Yukine twisted his hands in his lap. "How…? How much do you remember?"

His heart crawled into his throat and lodged itself there. What did Yato remember that left his eyes so lifeless? Did he remember the feeling of the ayakashi setting up camp inside him? Did he remember the shock and betrayal when Bishamon summoned Yukine out from under him?

"…Bits and pieces." Yato dropped his gaze to his hands resting in his lap. His fingers bunched the blanket draped across his legs. "It's pretty hazy. Might take some time to fit all the pieces back together."

"O-oh…"

His eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he swept his gaze across the ring of faces gathered around the bed. "What _did _happen?"

Yukine hunched his shoulders around his ears and tried to scrunch himself up as small as possible. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, blocking any words he might have said.

There was an awkward pause and the air thickened with tension. No one seemed to know how to respond.

Finally, Bishamon cleared her throat. "We, ah, outmaneuvered the sorcerer and killed the ayakashi he was possessing you with. So you aren't linked anymore. You should be okay as long as he doesn't get his hands on you again."

"…I guessed that much myself." The peculiar flat sheen to Yato's eyes didn't waver as he surveyed them. He did not appear to be fooled by their dissembling, but it was impossible to tell what he was actually thinking. "It explains nothing."

Bishamon hemmed and hawed and looked to Kazuma for help. Kazuma looked just as uncertain and didn't offer any advice.

"I think that's Yukine's story to tell," Hiyori said finally. She reached over to grip Yukine's hand tight and gave him a sidelong glance. "And if you want," she added ever so quietly, "I'll be here when you do."

He wanted to throw up again. He didn't want the responsibility of telling Yato the whole sordid tale. It would be easier if someone else did it. But maybe it was also a gift, to tell it his own way instead of relying on someone else. And maybe also his responsibility.

At least Hiyori was offering to stand by him. He would need the support, because he didn't know how he could do it alone.

Yato's gaze slid almost leisurely back to Yukine, and the god watched him unblinkingly for a few moments. Yukine squirmed and looked away. His lips trembled and he could feel his eyes getting hot again.

Yato still wasn't being himself, after everything. Yukine shouldn't be surprised that things hadn't magically bounced back to normal, but he would have given anything to see Yato's normal grin right now.

Hiyori squeezed his hand tighter, and he tried to disguise his sniffle with a surreptitious cough. Yato said nothing, and the unusual silence was louder than any words he might have said. Yukine could almost feel the condemnation dripping from it.

"Come here," Yato said finally.

Yukine hesitated, paralyzed. He darted a wide-eyed, pleading look at Hiyori, and she gave him another one of those wobbly smiles and nodded. He scooted to the very edge of his seat and stopped. Was this close enough? Could he stand to get any closer?

He darted a quick glance up at Yato and dropped his gaze again. The god's face was as stony as his silence. Hiyori prodded him in the back and he leaned forward to escape.

"Come here," Yato said again.

Yukine hopped over to sit on the edge of the bed, still darting glances at Yato's face before his gaze skittered away, never able to hold his eyes. His heart bounced back and forth along his ribcage at breakneck speed.

Yato leaned in and wrapped his arms around him tightly. Yukine went stiff as a board and his breath caught in his throat.

Warm fingers touched the back of his hand and traced a pattern that made his stomach turn over—the name that shouldn't have been.

"I think we'll need to talk," said Yato.

And then all the tears Yukine had been holding back for all this time finally broke free and he collapsed against Yato's chest in the throes of a great, heaving sob. He clutched at Yato desperately, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.

_Don't leave me_, he wanted to say. _I'm sorry._

It didn't feel quite right, a bit like hugging a stranger or a ticking time bomb, but he held on for dear life. He was afraid that if he let Yato go, he might slip away for good.

Yato didn't say anything else. He let Yukine cling to him and left his arms around him. He didn't ask questions or yell or spout condemnation. He didn't offer any reassurance or comfort either, aside from the fact that he was there and not pulling away.

He let Yukine cry until the tears had finally run out. When Yukine took one more shuddering breath and leaned back, Yato let him go. The god's face was still smooth and blank. When Yukine glanced around for help, he realized that everyone had long since slunk out of the room and closed the door behind them for the sake of privacy. It was just him and Yato.

He scrubbed at his face, wincing at the tenderness of his eyes, and inched back to the edge of the bed to regard Yato uncertainly. Yato regarded him right back. Yukine wasn't used to being unable to read his god at all. Yato was usually so expressive about everything, but now his silence could mean anything.

"I'm sorry," Yukine blurted out, voice hoarse and raspy from crying.

Yato's expression didn't change. "For what?"

"…For everything."

Yukine couldn't stand the silence. He was used to Yato chattering away blithely every waking moment. Now he wasn't, and the silence was an endless gulf between them.

So Yukine told him everything. It was like he couldn't help himself—he needed to fill that awful silence. It all spilled out in a tangled, desperate rush of words: Yato's deterioration, conspiring with Nora, handing him over to his dad, sitting back helplessly and watching failure after failure, throwing himself at Bishamon and accepting a new name, fighting at Bishamon's side to finally kill the ayakashi and save Yato.

Not once during his rambling did Yato look like he wanted to speak, and the total lack of reaction only heightened Yukine's anxiety and made him say more and more to fill the silence until he'd told the whole story in stops and starts. And when there was still no reaction, he rambled some more until he was just repeating himself.

When the words finally dried up and he couldn't think of anything else to say, he hunched over and gnawed at the inside of his cheek and watched Yato anxiously. The seconds ticked by, each one an eternity. Yato finally tore that disconcerting gaze from Yukine and looked down at the hands folded in his lap, expression as blank as ever. He said nothing.

"I'm sorry," Yukine whispered again. His heart had sunk into the very pit of his stomach, and he could feel the last of his withered hope shriveling up and dying. But what had he really expected? He had known that in saving Yato, he might lose him. "I–I didn't want to betray you, just… I just wanted you to be okay."

Yato was quiet for a few more seconds but then said, to his hands, "I trusted you."

Yukine flinched violently and shrank back. Out of everything Yato could have said, those three damning words cut deeper than anything else.

His eyes filled with tears again. "I'm sorry. I asked Bishamon to release me, I did. She said she wanted to talk to you–"

"Not that." Yato's voice was low, but it cut through Yukine's rambling like a hot knife through butter. "You did what you thought you had to. I told you that you'd need to find another master."

"But–"

"I told you that you could. That you should. But I told you that I couldn't go back to my father. I thought you understood."

"I did–"

"You don't understand what he's done to me. Or what I've done. He turned me back into a weapon, a killing machine. I've killed hundreds more. I almost killed my friends. You.

"I was supposed to be a god of fortune." The blank expression on his face stayed, but suddenly he looked and sounded very small and lost and sad. A child lost in the woods. A god led astray by the person he had trusted the most. "You were supposed to guide me. You promised. How can I trust a guidepost that pointed me back to becoming a monster?"

Yukine put his face in his hands and found that he had some more tears after all, and this time there was no one to hold him while he cried.

* * *

**Note: Poor guys. There's a lot of healing that needs to be done by everyone :(**


	14. Yato has never been farther away

**.**

**Chapter 14**

_(In which Yato has never been farther away and Yukine has more choices to make.)_

* * *

It seemed like an awful long time before the door creaked open again and Hiyori stuck her head in. Yukine's tears had dried up along with Yato's words. He felt hollowed out and scooped raw. He couldn't meet Yato's eyes. Yato didn't seem inclined to meet his either.

"Are you guys okay?" Hiyori asked softly, hovering like she'd back out of the room the moment it looked like she was interrupting something.

There was a brief pause as Yukine tried to decide how to answer that question.

"Yeah," Yato said flatly. "Fine."

Yukine stared intently at his hands and picked at the dirt beneath his nails.

The even longer pause that followed said that the tension clotting the air was not missed.

"It's just about dinnertime," Hiyori said finally. "We thought you guys should probably eat something."

"I'm not hungry," Yato mumbled.

Neither was Yukine, but he kept his mouth shut. He didn't even want to think about eating when his stomach was all twisted up in knots.

"You need to eat," Bishamon said, her tone firm and no-nonsense. Yukine flinched in surprise, but he supposed he shouldn't be too shocked that everyone was still hanging around. "Both of you. Yukine, you've barely been eating for weeks, and goodness knows what Yato's been doing. He looks awful. Neither of you have been taking care of yourselves. You _will _eat something."

Yukine could practically feel her gaze boring into his back, an itch between his shoulder blades. He wondered what she was feeling through their bond. Then he decided that he probably didn't want to know.

He _could _feel Yato's eyes on him now, considering. The weight of his gaze was a physical thing.

"Okay," the god decided.

"Good," said Bishamon. "Do you want to come down to the kitchen?"

Yukine and Yato stiffened in unison.

"I don't know…" Yato said, reluctance dripping off every word.

"I mean, we could bring a tray if you aren't ready to go down, just… Everyone has been worried about you, and they're eager to see how you're doing now that you're awake."

"…Fine."

Yukine bit the inside of his cheek and snuck a look at Yato's blank face. He was surprised Yato had capitulated so easily. He didn't seem like he was ready to venture out among people just yet. Yukine didn't feel like he was ready for it either.

But Yato extracted himself from the blankets and crawled out of bed past him, so Yukine supposed he didn't have much choice. He swiped halfheartedly at his face, already knowing there was no way to make himself presentable, and dabbed at his nose with a sleeve.

Yato leaned over to pull a handful of tissues from the wad balled up on the bedside table, left there to mop up the blood he'd been coughing, and handed them over. Yukine looked up, wide-eyed, before he could help himself. Yato's expression was still impossible to read, but he jerked his chin towards the door and waited.

"Thanks," Yukine said in a small voice. He blew his nose and dropped the tissue in the wastebasket. He tucked the others in his pocket. He was sure he'd need them later.

When he shuffled across the room, Yato followed silently behind him. He ducked his head and avoided everyone's eyes. He didn't want to see the questions plastered across their faces, because he wasn't ready to give the answers.

After one more cautious overture in Yukine's direction, Hiyori turned her attention to Yato. She fussed a bit and chattered too lightheartedly to be genuine about everything that had been going on at home while he'd been gone. Yukine was impressed she could come up with so much to talk about. _His _entire life had revolved around Yato throughout the whole ordeal.

Bishamon and Kazuma led the way, while Kofuku and Daikoku materialized from somewhere behind them. They made it halfway to the kitchen before running into a gaggle of shinki whose names Yukine couldn't remember, not part of Bishamon's main team or privy to all the drama. But they seemed excited enough to see Yato up and about, politely inquiring about his health and asking if he'd be joining them for dinner.

Yato summoned up a smile out of thin air and responded just as politely with a tiny hint of his normal sunny cheer. It didn't disguise the shadows darkening his eyes, but maybe that was only really noticeable if you knew him. Yukine had never appreciated exactly how impressive his ability to fake good cheer was, too busy being annoyed by it. He couldn't summon up a convincing smile at all, and he could feel the other shinki regarding him curiously. He tugged his sleeve further down over his hand. Just in case.

If the other shinki noticed the red lines on the back of his hand or the injuries stilting Yato's movement in a way uncharacteristic of prolonged bed rest, they didn't mention it. Maybe the things that were so glaring to Yukine were really only that obvious if you knew what you were looking for.

They trailed down to the kitchen, where Yato was pushed down in a seat—"You're still looking awful wobbly!" said Kinuha—and everyone crowded around to bombard him with questions and inquiries about his health. He smiled and chatted amiably enough, although a distinct air of tiredness hung about him. Acceptable enough for an invalid just crawling out of bed.

Yukine kept to himself and hoped his smile didn't look as much like a grimace as it felt.

Hiyori leaned in close and whispered, "Are you sure you're alright? What happened?"

He darted a sidelong glance at Yato and shrugged. She followed his gaze and nodded. Her eyes held the promise of _later_.

He picked at his food, only really eating as much as Hiyori goaded him to, and Yato ate even less.

Bishamon circled around behind Yato and sat down beside him, holding another plate as if a different kind of food might tempt him to eat. Yato nearly jumped out of his skin, flinching back and regarding her with wide eyes.

The nauseous feeling in Yukine's stomach uncurled and coiled again.

Bishamon went still, arm halfway extended, and searched the other god's face. "Are you alright?" she asked carefully.

Yato stared back like he expected her to slap him across the face, but nodded jerkily. "Yeah," he said in a tight voice. "Just tired."

But he was restless and twitchy after that, eyes darting about and tracking the movement of anyone who came near him. Hiyori caught Yukine's gaze and widened her eyes in silent question. He shook his head slowly, and she bit down on her lip. He didn't know what exactly had Yato so jumpy, but he didn't think he would like the answer.

Bishamon cleared her throat, and suddenly she was coaxing a skittish, cornered animal. "Maybe you should get some more rest."

"But he only just got up!" said one of the shinki who hadn't yet drifted off to eat at his own table.

"Yes, and he's still recovering. Now that you see he's doing better, let's let him rest a bit until he recovers his strength."

Yato did not protest. He offered one last tight-lipped smile, but his mouth stayed firmly shut. He'd obviously had quite enough of small talk. Bishamon shooed the curious onlookers away to their own dinners, eyed Yato's mostly untouched plate, and ushered the other god up and out the door. Yukine couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Yato left them outside his room, wedging himself in the doorway to keep them out. "Goodnight," he said flatly.

"Do you need anything else before you retire?" Kazuma asked. Suddenly there was a slight edge of desperation to his voice too, an anxiousness to delay Yato's retreat. "We could–"

"No thank you. I'm fine. See you in the morning."

Yato stepped inside and shut the door, leaving a gaggle of forlorn friends staring after him.

Bishamon patted Kazuma's arm. "Give him some space," she advised. "He's still in shock. It's a lot to cope with all at once. I'm sure he'll be feeling more like himself soon."

Hiyori turned to Yukine. "Are you okay? What happened with you guys?"

Yukine cast a sidelong look at the spectators and mumbled, "Not much."

Bishamon took the hint. "Well, we'll be off, then," she said, starting back down the hall with Kazuma half a step behind. "Goodnight."

Kofuku did not. "Ooh, what did Yato-chan say?" she asked, bouncing up into Yukine's personal space until he stepped back.

Daikoku grabbed her collar and tugged her back. "Come on, he doesn't want to tell the whole world. Let's go finish dinner. Hiyori, come get us when you're ready to go home. We'll take you back."

He dragged Kofuku down the hall, although she whined and wailed the whole way. Only when they disappeared around the corner did Hiyori try again.

"Yukine…?"

"He's not very happy with me," Yukine mumbled, wrapping his arms around his middle and ducking his head.

"I'm sure it's not really–"

"He basically said that he didn't trust me anymore."

"O-oh…" Hiyori was quiet for a few seconds before saying, "I'm sure you'll work it out. You did everything to save his life, after all. I'm sure he understands. Or will understand, once he works through some things. It's like Bishamon said—he's still trying to process everything right now and it's hard to take it all in at once. Once he's feeling better, I'm sure things will be fine."

Yukine scuffed his shoe along the floorboards. "I sure hope so."

Hiyori's pause was longer this time, her voice quieter when she spoke. "I'm sorry," she said.

Yukine was too.

* * *

He was awoken abruptly in the middle of the night by a hoarse cry from the room next door. His hand was on the doorknob before his brain registered that he was awake and out of bed. Another cry, shriller this time, split the air, and he flung the door open.

Another shinki had poked her head out of a room farther down the hall, hair sleep-tousled and eyes bleary. "Is he okay?" she asked around a yawn.

"Fine," Yukine said shortly as he rushed to the next door down. "I've got it."

She mumbled something about Kazuma, but he had already dismissed her. He darted into the room and shut the door behind him with a sharp click. And immediately squinted against the darkness, which was much thicker and blacker here since Yato hadn't commandeered a lamp to leave on all night like Yukine had.

He hesitated with his back to the door, paralyzed with indecision and anxiety. It was _really _dark with the curtains pulled shut. And anyway, Yato probably didn't want to see him at all.

But then Yato made a breathy sound halfway between a moan and a whimper that sent shivers down Yukine's spine—that was _not _the kind of sound Yato ever made—and Yukine flipped on the light. He squinted against the harsh influx of light searing his retinas, but Yato stayed stubbornly asleep.

The god was tossing and turning— not unusual for him, since he often moved and talked in his sleep—but when Yukine hurried over, he saw that Yato's face was scrunched up in a pained expression with a troubled crease between his brows. He was mumbling as he twitched restlessly, just breathy, half-formed words.

"No… I don't… Stop… Please… _Father_…"

Yukine shook his shoulder roughly. "Wake up! Yato!"

Yato's eyes flew open and he sat upright, hands twisting in the blankets. Yukine jerked back and watched wide-eyed, trembling nearly as much as the god. Hearing Yato sound like a small, frightened child had shaken him to the core. Again.

Yato's heavy, hitching breathing filled the room and his eyes darted all around. Then they settled on Yukine, and he took a deep, shuddering breath and made an obvious effort to smooth out his features.

"S-sorry," Yukine stammered, wondering if he looked as ashen and washed-out in the light as Yato did. "I was– You were screaming and I thought–"

"It's okay," Yato mumbled in a husky voice. He dropped his gaze to his hands fidgeting in the blankets, and Yukine noticed that they were trembling too. "I'm fine."

He did not look fine or sound fine, but Yukine didn't know what he was supposed to do about it. How was he supposed to help when he'd already lost Yato's trust? Maybe Yato would respond better to Hiyori, but it was too late to call her now.

"But…"

The door squeaked quietly and Yukine threw a glance over his shoulder. Bishamon and Kazuma stuck their heads in cautiously, looking more disheveled than usual. Yukine wasn't sure whether to be angry or grateful that the other girl had actually fetched them.

"Are you alright?" Bishamon asked. "Mineha said there was shouting."

Yato's expression closed off and he regarded them coolly. "I'm fine. Sorry I woke you."

His hands disappeared under the covers, any lingering trembling hidden from view. His eyes were still a little too shifty and his face was sheet-white, but otherwise he seemed put-together enough. Not his normal cheerful self by any stretch of the imagination, but not two steps from falling apart.

Yukine didn't know if he should trust that, because he had learned not to trust Yato's smile either.

He reached out, hesitated. He hadn't been any good at the whole comforting thing at the best of times, much less when Yato was mad at him. But it didn't feel right to walk away.

"Yato…"

"You should go back to sleep," Yato said, looking back down.

"But I–"

"Let's go, Yukine." He flinched as Bishamon took his arm—he hadn't even noticed her come in—and steered him back towards the door. "Let's let Yato rest."

"But–"

"Later. Goodnight, Yato."

Yato hummed tonelessly in acknowledgement, and Bishamon shut the door.

Yukine came to his senses and glared at her. "What are you doing? We should–"

"Not now," she said firmly. "He doesn't want our help right now. Let him get his head sorted out first."

She wasn't _wrong_, exactly. Yukine knew Yato didn't want them around. But whatever haunted his nightmares was something _Yukine _had done to him. Yukine's choices had subjected Yato to… To what, exactly, was what he needed and was afraid to know.

Yukine felt responsible for it. He wanted to help.

"I have to do something," he said.

"Veena is right," Kazuma said. He looked pinched and wan in the dim light of the hallway, and he rubbed a hand across his face. "He doesn't want you to see that. It's not that he's upset with you."

Yukine stared at him in disbelief before barking out a low, harsh laugh. Kazuma could be very observant, but sometimes he missed the obvious.

"Of course he is. He said that he didn't trust me anymore."

Kazuma and Bishamon winced in unison.

Bishamon cleared her throat. "I'm sure it's not–"

"It is. He doesn't trust me as a guidepost because I was supposed to guide him to becoming a god of fortune and instead I turned him back into a killer."

A _monster_, Yato had said. _"How can I trust a guidepost that pointed me back to becoming a monster?"_

Yato was a lot of things, but a monster wasn't one of them. He should never have to feel like that. Yukine should never make him feel like that.

Bishamon and Kazuma didn't respond immediately, troubled looks crossing their faces. Yukine looked back at the door, debating whether or not to make a break for it.

"I think he's just really shaken up," Kazuma said, choosing his words slowly and with care. "Out of everyone I've ever met, he's done the most to change himself. He tries harder than anyone. I've followed him along on some of his ups and downs through the centuries, and he never gave up no matter how crazy his schemes or how hopeless it seemed or how much everyone laughed at his efforts. He always picked himself up and kept going. Possibly the most stubborn man I've ever met.

"And he was finally making progress, you know, and he's been so positive lately with you and Hiyori around. Things were finally starting to fall into place, and he was…happy. I think he was happy." Kazuma trailed off and frowned at the ground. Yukine's stomach twisted back into knots. "…And then the sorcerer swooped in and ripped everything out from under him in one fell swoop.

"What does it matter how hard he's fought or how far he's come when everything he's fought to achieve can be ripped away in a second? What's the point? I imagine it must make him feel pretty powerless.

"If he's having such a strong reaction now, you have to understand that it's a product of the destruction of a millennium of his blood, sweat, and tears. He trusted you more than anything and thought that nothing could drag him back when he had you to light the way, and now he's realizing that it's not always so simple and you can't always just outrun the past.

"_That's _the sorcerer's fault, not yours. It's just that he's depended on you so heavily that the failure hits hard. You're not infallible, and sometimes you might lead him astray. And he's known that, but maybe this is the first time it's really smacked him in the face. I'm not saying I agree with the choices you made, I think he has _every_ right to be angry with you, but you did what you thought you had to in order to save his life. He knows that. He's more upset with himself than he is with you. Just give him some time. It won't go back to normal overnight, but you'll be able to work things out."

Yukine stared, surprised to hear Kazuma pick apart Yato's psyche so thoroughly. The bleakness of his words settled on Yukine's shoulders like the weight of the world. It was a lot to chew on.

Bishamon's obvious surprise faded to melancholy concern, and she brushed a hand along Kazuma's arm before ushering Yukine back to his room. "Kazuma is right," she said. "Yato might be a crazy son of a bitch, but he loves you something crazy. You can talk things over once you've both calmed down. Do try to get some sleep."

Yukine cast one last look at Yato's closed door before letting her shoo him into his room. He had a lot to think about before facing his god again, and he hoped Kazuma's perspective might reveal some glimmer of insight into how to handle Yato's depressed detachment.

* * *

Yukine spent the rest of the night prowling his room, his thoughts churning. The most frustrating thing was that all the thinking in the world wasn't helping him _solve _anything. He could chase himself in circles, but it didn't change anything.

He stayed in his room long after the sun pushed watery rays through the curtains. Call him a coward, but he was afraid to present himself to Yato again. He couldn't stand rejection, and he hated the heat of shame flushing his cheeks.

He paced until Hiyori finally pushed the door open.

"Good morning," she said. "Have you eaten breakfast?"

"He hasn't been out of his room," Kazuma said from behind her, and Yukine scowled.

"And Yato-chan?" Kofuku asked, popping her head around Hiyori's arm.

Yukine flushed and dropped his gaze, familiar shame curdling his insides. "I don't know," he admitted in a mumble.

"He's been locked up in his room too," Bishamon said. "Why don't we see if he wants to join us for breakfast?"

Yukine slunk out of the room, Hiyori's worried gaze following him. He couldn't hide in his room forever.

He faltered outside Yato's door, but took a deep breath to steel himself. Everyone was watching him. He could feel their eyes. He didn't want to crack in front of them, not again, so he squared his shoulders and opened the door.

And froze mid-step instead of crossing the threshold.

"What…?"

Yato was sitting cross-legged on the bed with a sheaf of newspaper clippings in his hand, brows drawn together as his eyes skipped back and forth along the lines of text. He let out a breath and leaned over to place the clipping on one of the small patches of empty bed left before turning his gaze to the next article in the stack. The rest of the bed and a swathe of floor along its side were cluttered with newspapers that had been spread out in a macabre collage.

Yukine blinked at the mess stupidly and his heart stuttered. These were all the news articles about the killings, the ones Hiyori had brought him because he'd threatened to go down to the lower realm and get them himself if she didn't. He'd bundled them up and hidden them out of sight, and every once in a while, when Hiyori was back home and Bishamon and Kazuma had given up on him for the night, he had pulled them out and leafed through them one more time.

His preferred hidey-hole was tucked in the back of the nightstand drawer or under the corner of his mattress, but from time to time he'd snuck into Yato's empty room as if that might somehow bring him closer to his missing god. And maybe once or twice, he'd brought his stash with him. And apparently, just once, he'd been interrupted and hidden them there and forgotten about it.

"Stop it!" He lurched across the floor and winced as newspaper crunched under his foot. "That's not…"

Yato didn't even look up. His gaze skimmed along the article in his hand, and that blank, distant sheen was back in his eyes.

Yukine swallowed hard and his feet dragged to a stop. "It's not… Those are for me, not you. I didn't mean… I knew that if I… I knew it would be my fault. It's not your…"

Because he just _knew _Yato was blaming himself, even though he hadn't wanted to risk this happening in the first place. Yukine was the one who had sent him back, even knowing that people would die. Yukine collected the names of the dead as his own penance, not to rub them in Yato's face.

The room was very, very quiet, but Yato's eyes had stilled and stayed fixed sightlessly on an otherwise unassuming bit of newsprint. Then he looked up, studied Yukine for a moment, and looked back down at the articles clutched in his hand.

"It's not your fault," he said finally.

He stretched over to begin slowly gathering up the scattered articles, moving like each movement was leaden and exhausting. Yukine bent over to collect the pages off the floor. He handed them over to Yato silently.

Yato shuffled the pages into a messy pile and then leaned over to dump them into the trashcan beside the bed, the one that had swallowed all his bloody tissues before. Yukine made a small, involuntary sound of protest in the back of his throat. He wasn't sure he was done with those yet.

Yato looked up and his eyes slid past Yukine to rest on Hiyori and the others crowded in the doorway. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Hiyori said uncertainly. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay." Yato looked back at Yukine, face blank. "But speaking of fault, we should figure out this ablution."

Yukine jerked to attention, face coloring again. "Yeah, we need to do that right away. Sorry, I–"

"Not yet. You still feel too guilty about having Bishamon name you."

Becoming a nora sounded ten times worse when Yato acknowledged it. Somehow, hearing him say it made it seem more real. Not that Yukine had managed to hide it from him before, obviously, but maybe he liked to pretend he had.

"She's going to release me," he said quickly. "She just wanted to talk to–"

"We already talked about it."

Yukine blinked at him and looked over his shoulder at Bishamon hovering just inside the room. The thought of them having a powwow to discuss their common problem shinki made him intensely uncomfortable. He didn't even like the thought of them being in the same room anymore. It was like introducing your mistress to your wife. And then inviting them to compare notes on all your betrayals.

Bishamon cleared her throat under his scrutiny. "Yes… We did talk things over… We just want to make sure we've considered everything, you know? I can release you and it can go back to the way it was before. Or you can keep the name and still go back with Yato. As a…backup. I won't be able to name you again later if something happens."

Something like Yato dying or disappearing when they killed his father, Yukine thought sourly. But maybe he was being unfair, because Bishamon was watching him with those big, anxious eyes, and he remembered her sitting by his bedside at night, searching his face earnestly as she said he'd always have a place with her if anything happened. Whatever her faults, she loved her shinki to pieces and Yukine had somehow gotten caught up in that.

It would make an already messy situation a great deal messier if she kept him now that Yato was awake. And it would add extra tension to Yato and Yukine's already strained relationship.

But what had the gods discussed? Had Yato asked Bishamon to let Yukine keep the name because he wanted to release him?

He turned on Yato with a sharp jolt of panic, just in time to see the god wince at the upsurge of emotion.

"Do you–?"

"It's up to you," Yato grunted.

Yukine eyed him uncertainly. "But… What did you decide? What do you want to do?"

Yato shook his head. "Bishamon and I talked it over, and I see benefits in both options. This is going to have the greatest impact on _your _life, and you've been making a lot of tough decisions for yourself lately. Think about it and decide for yourself."

"But…" Yukine twisted his hands together. The sudden responsibility sent his stomach dropping again.

He'd been making nothing _but _tough decisions lately, and they all seemed to be wrong even when he couldn't see a better alternative. He didn't want to be handed yet another opportunity to screw things up. He didn't want another opportunity to hurt Yato.

Obviously he wanted Bishamon to release him, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could stomach being a nora. But even once the unwanted name was gone, the scars would remain. The damage was done. And if Yato's dad cooked up another scheme…

"I want her to release me, but…"

Yato nodded once. "Until Father is taken care of, then."

Yukine dug his nails into his palms until they bit red crescents into his skin. "But I don't want… I don't know how long…"

"It won't be long," Yato said. He stared out the window on the far side of the room. The curtains had been pushed open, and the sun slanted through the glass cheerily. It seemed like a nice day. Out there, anyway.

"I hope not," Bishamon said, but there was a sour, pessimistic note to her voice. "But he hasn't been easy to catch so far."

"He's just about finished," Yato said, and Yukine wondered at the heavy certainty weighing down his voice. "Anyway," he added, almost as an afterthought, "it's just about Ooharai. The heavens will be mobilizing shortly."

"I guess."

Yukine wanted to apologize yet again and say that they could forget the whole thing if Yato didn't want this. All these decisions he'd been making were directly impacting Yato too, and the god had had no say in the matter at all. Yukine wanted to finally do something his way, to make sure this wasn't just another betrayal heaped on all the rest.

But his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth, and he couldn't free it in time to find the words.

"We can reassess once he's out of the picture." Yato didn't look away from the window. "I suppose it's time for an ablution."

Yukine hunched his shoulders under the weight of his sins and tried to remember what it felt like to be carefree and forgiven. An ablution was just a necessary evil. He wondered if it would change anything.


	15. Yukine is absolved of his sins

**.**

**Chapter 15**

_(In which Yukine is absolved of his sins, more or less.)_

* * *

They gathered in the large room where they'd practiced getting used to each other after Bishamon had named Yukine. It had been cramped and much too small for that purpose, and it was really too small for an ablution too. Outside would be the first choice, but there were far too many windows in the mansion and nosy neighbors along the perimeter of the property. An ablution would most certainly be witnessed by someone, which in turn would bring up a whole host of questions that they'd rather not answer. They had just about pulled off an impressive web of deceptions, and there was no point stumbling at the finish line.

Kuraha had insisted on joining Kazuma and Daikoku for the ablution, even though Bishamon—and everyone else, really—thought he'd be better off recovering in bed like Aiha. Yukine didn't kick up nearly as much fuss as Bishamon did, because he felt closer to Kuraha than any of the other shinki that could take his place. Kinuha and the twins were off on guard duty, keeping the other shinki away from the room. Hopefully, the ablution would take place quietly and undisturbed with no one the wiser.

Yukine swallowed hard and wished he could sink through the floor. Hard to do when he was positioned smack dab in the middle of the floor and surrounded by people watching and waiting and judging. He was the center of attention, the main attraction, and all he really wanted to do was disappear.

"Might as well get it over with," Kazuma said. "It will make things easier on everyone."

"And I'm sure you'll feel better after," Hiyori added. Her voice was bright, but her eyes were unhappy. Like she knew this was something he needed to do but also understood how hard it was and was sorry for it. "It will be good to get everything off your chest."

Yukine nodded halfheartedly. They weren't wrong, exactly. It did need to happen, sooner rather than later, and it would definitely make things better for Yato and Bishamon once the blight was cleansed. And in theory, Yukine might feel better after giving his apologies and making peace with his sins.

It was just that he wasn't sure an ablution would really be enough. It would get rid of the blight, but would it really change the things he'd done and the consequences he faced because of them? An ablution wasn't going to magically make things okay again. It wasn't going to put the light back in Yato's eyes or make him smile at Yukine again.

Yukine darted a look at Yato from beneath his lashes, through the silvery curtain already separating them. Yato had declined a chair in favor of slumping over against the wall, knees drawn up to his chest with his cheek propped on them. His eyes were closed. He could almost be asleep he seemed so exhausted and worn down, but there was a slight tension in his body that belied such an assumption.

Bishamon had opted for a chair and was looking more than a little exhausted herself. Hiyori and Kofuku hovered nearby, casting anxious glances between Yukine and Yato, while Daikoku, Kuraha, and Kazuma stood at the points of the triangle to maintain the borderlines. It seemed like everyone was preparing for a rough time.

Yukine didn't intend to make it any harder than it needed to be, regardless of how tightly his insides were tied into knots. He'd already done enough damage.

So he stared blankly at the floor and rattled off his sins in a monotone, occasionally wincing or gritting his teeth at the pain as the magic excised the ayakashi growths from his back. He did not pause or stumble or allow himself to dwell on any one of them, just plowed on relentlessly.

He confessed to consulting Nora and lying about what she'd said. He apologized for snapping at everyone and saying he hated Yato and refusing to work properly as part of Bishamon's team. He admitted to failing to protect Bishamon when he'd prioritized Yato's safety above hers. He confessed to masterminding the scheme to hand Yato back over to his dad against his wishes and to condemning dozens of people to die for it. He confessed to asking Bishamon to name him and pushing her until she did, and keeping that name even after Yato was rescued and he should belong to only him.

And when the pain still scoured his back and whistled through his veins, he confessed to one more, the sin he hadn't yet committed but felt guilty for regardless.

"And I'm sorry," he said hollowly, "but I would do it all again."

He thought he understood Kazuma a little better now. They could regret their betrayals, feel remorse for their sins and all the people they sacrificed along the way, but they wouldn't change a thing if it meant they saved their masters in the end. Their apologies always had a sharp edge, because they might be sorry but they wouldn't take it back. And maybe that was why they eyed each other so warily now, because they recognized that steely edge in each other. However much they could be friends when things went well, they knew how fast they could turn. Their brand of all-consuming loyalty could make them the most trustworthy people, but also the least. Both to their allies and their masters and themselves.

Maybe Yato had finally recognized that as well, and that was why he couldn't look at Yukine the same way. Why he couldn't quite trust him again.

And Yukine was sorry for that and would do almost anything to fix it, but he knew that he wouldn't take it back and would do it all again if he had to. If he lost Yato's trust, that was just one more sacrifice he would have to make. His loyalty was so strong that he would betray Yato as fast as he would betray anyone else if it would save him. He was smart enough to know that made him dangerous, even if they were all just now realizing exactly how much so. Maybe the others were right to be wary of him.

He gritted his teeth as the magic scraped off the last of the blight.

"Much easier than the first time around," Kazuma said, although his good cheer fell flat. "You've matured a lot."

"Are you okay?" Hiyori asked. She wrung her hands together.

Maybe they found his display so unsettling because he always got ridiculously emotional about things, one way or another. He could feel all those emotions swirling deep down inside him like a storm waiting to be set free, but he kept them caged. Kazuma had taught him how to do that: don't feel too much, don't show it when you do, don't hurt your god.

Yukine wasn't ready to face any of it just yet. He had been right: the ablution hadn't made him feel any better. He knew it was a relief to get rid of the eyeballs, he knew he was glad that Yato and Bishamon weren't suffering his blight anymore, and he knew that it should feel good to be absolved. He knew a lot of things, but he wasn't feeling very many of them.

Hiyori had stood by him the whole time and done her best to support his decisions. He appreciated that more than he could ever express, and was eternally grateful to have such a staunch ally when everything else fell apart. And Bishamon was trying to be supportive too, even though they _didn't _agree on a lot of things, and he appreciated that as well. And the shinki gathered here, ex-friends and old friends and new friends, had judged him by virtue of their humanity and absolved him of his sins, and he appreciated that too. Human forgiveness for human folly.

But as wonderful as all of that was, he was missing the most important ingredient. Yato was the one he had sinned against the most egregiously, the one he had sinned _for_, and the one he had sworn eternal loyalty to. Yato was the one who had found Yukine as a lost little soul and taken him under his wing, the one who had tolerated his sins time and time again and always forgiven them, the one who had shown him how to appreciate this new life of his and given him a place to belong in it.

If Yukine needed forgiveness from anyone, it was Yato.

But he wasn't going to beg for it. Maybe he was too proud. Mostly, he didn't think it was fair to Yato.

He squared his shoulders and finally worked up the nerve to dart a glance at his god.

Yato was picking himself up off the floor with slow, deliberate movements. He hovered there, head bowed, not looking at anyone. Then he straightened up and met Yukine's gaze with eyes that were still too dull but maybe just a tiny bit clearer. He crooked a finger in a _come here_ gesture.

Yukine hesitated, taken aback. Hiyori smiled a little uncertainly and nodded encouragement.

Yukine took a tentative step forward, hesitated, and took another. He walked slowly across the room, feet dragging along the floor, and drew to a stop a good two feet from the god. They stared at each other while Yukine's heartbeat ticked off the seconds. He fought the urge to squirm under Yato's gaze.

Then Yato stepped forward, closing the space between them, and wrapped his arms around Yukine. Yukine went stiff as a board and his breath caught in his throat. He didn't know how to respond, so he didn't. He just stood there stiffly, hardly daring to breathe.

"We'll be okay," Yato murmured into Yukine's hair. "I forgive you too."

And just like that, Yukine was sobbing again. He clutched at Yato tightly and cried into his chest, shaking like a leaf.

He wanted that olive branch so badly. He wanted Yato to still be there despite everything. He wanted to believe that he could be forgiven just like that.

Yato didn't say anything else, but he didn't let go either. He held Yukine for a long time, wrapped around the shinki like the safe haven he'd always been. And for this moment, it was enough.

Yukine cried for all the people who had died because of his choices, for Hiyori having to live with the sorcerer's threats, for Bishamon and Kazuma and Kuraha and the rest caught in the middle and suffering for it, for Kofuku and Daikoku watching helplessly from the sidelines. For Yato and everything he had endured at the hands of his father, for everything he'd been forced to do and become, for waking up to realize that his trusted guidepost had betrayed him. And for himself, because self-pity was nothing new but Yukine knew that he had lost something too, that he had been changed by the experience and would never be the same.

When he finally cried himself dry—for now, at least—he stayed snuggled up to Yato for a few more seconds before drawing in a shuddering breath and stepping back. Yato released him without a fuss, and Yukine eyed him shyly while scrubbing at his face with his sleeves.

Yato still wasn't smiling, still looked beat down and exhausted and blank, but his eyes were a little softer than before. He jerked his chin in Bishamon's direction. "And now Bishamon."

Yukine blinked at him in confusion. He didn't know what…

Then it hit him, and he swallowed hard. Bishamon was as much his master now as Yato was, at least technically. Yukine could try to ignore it all he wanted, but it didn't change that. And by agreeing to keep the name she'd given him a little longer, he'd obligated himself to accept her.

Stepping across to where she was still sitting in the chair against the wall, he shuffled his feet and looked anywhere but at her. "I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"It's okay," she said. He snuck a glance up to see that she was watching him with unbearably gentle eyes. "We're fixing things."

He nodded. An ablution was all well and good, but it was just the first step. There was a lot of work left to do if he wanted to fix things with Yato. And frankly, he had been chipping away at his relationships with the rest of his friends as well. He would have to earn back that trust one step at a time.

He looked back over, but Yato had tilted his head away and was frowning at the ground. Yukine wondered if it bothered him more than he let on. Yato might have given Yukine the choice, but that didn't mean he _wanted _to share his hafuri with Bishamon.

Yukine swallowed down his guilt—no time for that right after an ablution—and resolved that this state of affairs wouldn't last long. And he promised himself that he'd make it up to Yato somehow, even if it took a hundred years.

The other shinki, still looking relieved that the ablution had been relatively painless, drifted over to join the group. Kuraha dropped a heavy hand on Yukine's shoulder while Kazuma and Daikoku joined their masters.

Hiyori, evidently reassured that Yukine would be okay now that he'd made up with Yato, turned her attention to Yato instead. She reached out, but her fingers had barely grazed his arm before Yato jerked away. His head whipped up, and he bared his teeth and made a strange sort of hissing sound that seemed more ayakashi than god.

Everyone went still, watching wide-eyed and with bated breath. Hiyori stood frozen with her hand outstretched and hovering uselessly in the air. Fear coiled low in Yukine's belly again.

Yato glared at Hiyori for a few more seconds before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Sorry," he said stiffly. "You caught me by surprise."

Hiyori lowered her hand slowly, desolation spreading across her face. "Oh, _Yato_," she murmured in a soft, breathy voice that sounded like heartbreak. "What did he _do_ to you?"

"Nothing." Yato looked away, every muscle taut.

Yukine could read it in the stiff set of his shoulders and hard glint in his eyes and closed-off expression. Yato would never talk about what had happened to him while he was possessed. They would always have to wonder.

Hiyori looked like she wanted to protest but didn't know how. Yato's stubbornness was legendary. And given the incredible degree to which he'd shut down—shut them out—since being rescued, it was unlikely they'd be prying anything out of him soon.

No one knew what to say to such an obvious lie, and the air was thick and clotted with tension. Just as it was becoming unbearable, the silence was shattered by a shrill chime.

Yukine jumped about a foot in the air and looked around for the source of the sound like everyone else before remembering the phone still tucked in his pocket. He'd meant to give it back to Yato, but he hadn't been able to work up the nerve.

Now he pulled it out of his pocket, but hesitated when he glimpsed the name scrawled across the screen: _Father_.

"Should you answer that?" Hiyori asked. Maybe looking for anything to break the stalemate. If they were at an impasse, the next best thing was to look for a distraction. "Or Yato?"

"Ah… No…" Yukine cleared his throat and avoided everyone's eyes as he made for the door. "Excuse me for a moment."

He could feel Yato's gaze burning into his back, but he didn't look up for fear that the god would be able to read the truth in his eyes. He sidled past Kofuku and slipped out the door before anyone thought to ask more questions. He shut the door behind him, relaxing ever so slightly now that he'd escaped everyone's curious gazes. Then the phone rang again, and all the tension came flooding back.

The hallway was empty—Kinuha and the twins must still be at work directing everyone away in case he made a scene—but he wasn't taking any chances. He ducked into the room next door—also empty, thankfully—and hesitated. The phone rang one last time and went quiet.

Yukine let out a breath. Probably for the best. In all honesty, he probably shouldn't risk becoming any more entangled with Yato's dad than he already was.

And then the phone lit up and started buzzing in his hand again, and he hit answer before he thought better of it.

"Stop calling!" he hissed into the speaker.

There was a beat of silence before Yato's dad said, "Ah, Yukine. I was rather hoping Yaboku was up and about again. I'd thought he was tough enough to be back on his feet by now."

"Of course he is!" Yukine said defensively, before realizing that the bastard might've just been fishing for information and it probably would have been better to give him none at all.

"Oh, good! I'm glad. Be a good boy and put Yaboku on the phone, won't you?"

"No," he said through gritted teeth. His knuckles went white and the hard plastic of the phone dug into his palm. "He doesn't want to talk to you. You've already done more than enough. Stop calling and _stay away _from him."

"Aw, don't be like that. I just want to say hi to my kid, make sure he's alright and all that."

Yukine barked out a harsh laugh. "Like hell you do. Leave us alone. I'm warning you–"

He yelped in surprise and nearly jumped out of his skin as a hand reached over his shoulder and plucked the phone right out of his grasp.

"Hello, Father," Yato said in a flat voice.

Yukine whipped around and winced. Yato was staring off into space, eyes dull but hard. Hiyori and Bishamon and the others peeked through the doorway behind him.

"Yato–"

"Yes," said Yato without looking over. "Fine…Yes, he was just leaving."

Yukine hesitated. That obviously meant him, but Yato didn't give him a look or shoo him out or tell him to go. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to leave or not. In the end, he didn't. He didn't want Yato's dad talking to him, and cursed himself for answering the damn phone.

"Yes, it's just me," Yato said in a voice devoid of anything resembling emotion, and Yukine exchanged a puzzled look with Hiyori. "What do you want?…Let me guess, kill Bishamon…" Yukine started in surprise, and Bishamon's eyes went wide. "Kazuma too? Is that really necessary?…I suppose so…Now's the best time since I'm stuck here with them…"

Yato went quiet for a few seconds, listening. His expression didn't change once. He took it all with a palpable air of dull exhaustion.

"If you don't possess me," he said. "…Yes. I'll do whatever you want as long as you don't…You promise?"

He fell silent again, for longer this time. His eyes traced lazy circles along the back wall.

"Well, why not?" he asked finally, voice bleak. "What else am I good for?… Honestly, what's the point of running anymore?"

Yukine's breath stuttered in his throat at the tired hopelessness weighing down the god's voice. "Ya–"

Yato's gaze snapped to his face, and his eyes were sharp with annoyance as he flapped his hand in a shushing motion. Yukine snapped his mouth shut, remembering that he wasn't supposed to be here.

"Yes, Father." Yato's lips quirked into a wry half-smile as he said, "Yes, I learned my lesson…No, give me a few days." Annoyance flared bright in his eyes again, although his voice stayed monotone. "Don't threaten her. I'm still recovering. Give me a few days to get back on my feet. It's not like Bishamon is going anywhere…A week…I really think…Fine. Five days. That should be plenty of time. I'll call you when it's done. Don't mess with Hiyori until then. If I don't call you within five days, do what you want. Okay?"

Yato's gaze wandered sightlessly along the far wall, and then he nodded to himself. "Alright. Yes, Father. I'll see you then."

He snapped the phone shut with a sharp click and stared down at it.

"What now?" Bishamon asked from the doorway.

Yukine twisted his hands together. "You aren't actually…"

"Of course not." Yato slipped the phone back into his pocket. "I can't afford to go back, but I just bought us a few days. Hiyori can't just camp out in Takamagahara like we can."

"You think he'll actually honor that?" Kazuma asked skeptically.

Yato shrugged. "He's a bit of a chronic liar so I'd still keep my eyes open, but he doesn't really want to alienate me any more right now or risk doing something that will change my mind when he thinks I'm coming around to the idea of cooperating with him."

"But _does_ he believe that?" Hiyori asked. "You've been pretty stubborn about _not_ cooperating lately…"

"Yeah, well. Things have changed since then. He thinks I've learned my lesson and realized that it's pointless to try resisting. And that I'll cooperate on my own if it means he won't possess me again, although I wouldn't trust him not to try either way. Anyway, he's also pretty smug about everything with Yukine and seems to think we're on the outs. Without a shinki to rely on, conveniently feeling betrayed and all that, I'm more likely to ditch everyone and go back to him. So."

Yukine's heart plummeted down into his stomach again. Of course Yato's dad would think he was more likely to come crawling back after everyone he'd trusted had betrayed him and Yukine had gone to a different god. And it was terrible because Yukine _had _betrayed Yato and Yato _was _obviously hurt by it and–

Yato cut a sharp look in his direction. "Enough with that."

Yukine caught Bishamon wincing and realized he was hurting them again. "Sorry," he mumbled, wilting.

Yato waved the apology off impatiently.

"It's okay," Bishamon said. "Just cheer up a little, yeah? We already took care of the ablution and everything. It's okay now."

Yukine nodded, because it seemed safer than saying he wasn't sure if he quite believed it.

"Is it going to be enough, though?" Daikoku asked, still focused on the more pressing issue at hand. "It's good to have a few days to breathe, but it doesn't look like we're going to solve the problem of the sorcerer any time soon. You can't hide up here forever, and Hiyori and her family are sitting ducks."

"We'll protect Hiyori-chan!" Kofuku said brightly. Daikoku shot her a look, and she deflated. "But he's right. We have other duties to take care of, and even while we're looking after her, there's bound to be an opening sooner or later. Especially if she keeps running off…"

Hiyori winced. "I said I was sorry."

Yato shrugged again. "It's better than nothing."

"Just so you know," Bishamon said, "if you do decide to try killing me, I'm going to skewer you."

Yato actually rolled his eyes. "If I decide to kill you, you won't see me coming."

"You wish," Bishamon snorted. Yukine watched them curiously, relieved that the banter had brought back just a flicker of Yato's spark. But then Bishamon sobered. "I think we need to discuss some of the things that have happened and where we're going from here."

And that was how they found themselves arrayed around the table in the boardroom again. Kuraha was allowed to sit in on the war council this time, either because Bishamon didn't have the heart to make him the only one excluded from the party or because she thought he'd earned the privilege after everything.

Personally, Yukine would have preferred if they had their meeting somewhere else. This particular room held a lot of bad memories. Yato had cut the first war council short when he collapsed in a puddle of blood and blight. The rest had been held with a conspicuous empty space where he should have been, and none of the plans they'd crafted had made Yukine feel very good at all. Especially not the last, when he'd demanded that Bishamon name him. Being here brought up memories of choking on magic and betrayal.

Yato gave him a sidelong glance, and he wondered how much of his unease was mirrored in the god's heart.

The meeting got off to a slow start, given that Yato either really didn't remember much from his time as a thrall or was too stubborn to talk about it. No one's questions got satisfactory answers, and soon Bishamon was the only one still trying.

"Are you _sure _you don't–?"

"I don't know what to tell you," Yato said. "It's all hazy and I'm still trying to piece it together. Nothing I remember is going to be of much use to you."

Bishamon opened her mouth and then clamped it shut again as she glowered across the table. Yato met her gaze evenly, face blank. That was one impasse that wouldn't be broken. Those two were possibly the most stubborn people Yukine knew.

Kuraha cleared his throat. "Did the sorcerer take you back to his hideout? Could you find it again?"

Yato shrugged and looked down at his hands steepled on the tabletop. "I could find it, but he'll have moved by now. He's not shortsighted enough to miss that loose end. I've been to a lot of his residences and 'hideouts' over the centuries, but he's not going to go anywhere I already know about."

"But he thinks you're going to come back, right?" Hiyori asked.

"That doesn't mean he'll take unnecessary risks. Until Bishamon and Kazuma—the most immediate threats on his life—are out of the way and my loyalty is assured or at least less in question, he'll keep a low profile. That's how he's gotten away with everything for so long. He prefers to fly under the radar, although we've kind of ruined that for him at this point. With the threat of the heavens looming and us hunting him, he's being extra cautious."

"Still…" Bishamon said.

"Look, I can tell you where they were if you want. Just don't expect to find him there."

"I guess that will have to be good enough for now."

"And you're _sure _you aren't still feeling any effects from the possession?" Hiyori asked. "Because–"

"I'm fine," Yato said a little more curtly than necessary. "The connection is severed. Unless he manages to catch me and try it again, I'll be fine."

"If you say so…"

"You don't have any ayakashi minions still floating around?" Bishamon asked dryly.

Yato wedged his thumbnail under a chip in the table and began working at it absentmindedly. "No."

"Oh, that's right," Kazuma said, leaning back in his chair. "There was that one ayakashi that seemed to disappear somewhere in the middle."

Yato met his gaze squarely. "If it was still alive, I'd feel it. It would still be connected to me."

His growing impatience with the questioning was turning into annoyance. Yukine wasn't sure if it was because he didn't know the answers or didn't want to give them or just didn't want to talk about an obviously traumatic experience. Whatever the case, it was clear that they had gotten about all the information out of him that he was willing or able to share.

Kazuma cleared his throat, sensing the mood. "Ah… Yes, I suppose we did a lot of damage. It makes sense that we killed it and didn't notice."

The meeting stalled—another impasse.

"Why don't we call it a day and get some food?" Yato asked after a few more stilted questions and curt replies. He smiled, but it looked too pinched and tight to fit his face. "I'm starved."

"Of course you are," Hiyori said, jumping at the chance to close things out and move on. "You've barely eaten anything lately!"

"Yeah, it's been nice not having you eat all our food," Daikoku grumbled.

They got up and filed out of the room towards the kitchen. Yukine hadn't said a word during the meeting, but he followed Yato down the hall, secretly hoping for some kind of acknowledgement.

Yato didn't look back, and Yukine's heart settled into the pit of his stomach once more.

* * *

The only reason Yukine knew Yato was having nightmares again was that he couldn't sleep. Yato wasn't screaming like last time, but he was making some kind of muffled sound—probably mumbling in his sleep again—and tossing about. It was only barely there, possibly only in Yukine's imagination, but he could just make it out in the smothering stillness hanging over his room.

He threw back the covers, slid out of bed, and shuffled across the floor. He doubted his presence would be any more welcome than it had been the night before, but it was better to put an end to things before the screaming started again.

He hesitated outside Yato's door, both because he wasn't sure it was his place and because he didn't hear the noises anymore and had to wonder if his overactive, admittedly sleep-deprived brain had been imagining them. Then he took a deep breath and twisted the doorknob as quietly as possible. He'd just take a quick peek. If Yato seemed fine, he'd just tiptoe back on out with no one the wiser.

The curtains were thrown wide, letting silver moonlight filter through the window. Yukine could clearly see Yato's silhouette lying still in the bed. Everything was quiet and still, and he felt silly for getting worked up about nothing.

Just as he was about to close the door and slink back to his own room, a quiet sniffle broke the silence.

"Yato?"

Yato opened his eyes. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, and his voice was a little too thick when he spoke.

"What are you doing up?"

Yukine shoved the door shut behind him as he rushed into the room and over to Yato's bedside. "Oh no, I'm sorry."

He could feel his own eyes filling with tears, because Yato was upset and crying alone in the dark and it was his fault. He stumbled to an awkward stop by the bed, realizing that he had no idea how to make this right.

"I know," Yato said in a husky voice.

"I didn't–I didn't want to, you know," Yukine rambled. "I didn't want to give you back to your dad or let Bishamon name me, but I–I didn't see another way and… And I wanted to save you."

"I know," Yato said again. He sat up and hunched over with his forearms resting on his knees. Yukine caught a glimpse of the tear stains shining silver in the moonlight before his hair fell across his face. "It's okay. I'm not…happy about it, but…I know you were just trying to help. And you didn't give up on me even when I gave up. It's Father I'm mad at. Just…it's a lot to take in right now. It's like everything changed while I was out of commission."

Yukine felt too terrible to fully appreciate the olive branch. "But we'll figure out what to do about your dad so that you're safe again, and Bishamon will release me and…"

He trailed off, not certain how to end that. It sounded too flippant, like he thought all the damage and betrayal could be erased if they somehow uprooted the source of the problem.

"It's still really bothering you, huh?" Yato looked up and studied his face with a look of consideration. Yukine found himself looking away. "You're not going to relax until we sort out the mess with Father and Bishamon."

"I just…want things to be okay again."

"Hm. Well, we'll take care of it soon. Father's just about finished, and then we'll set everything right."

"Yeah, you said that, but… How do you know? We have no idea where to find him or how to get rid of him without killing you. I don't–"

"Don't worry so much. You'll just have to trust me on this one."

Sudden fear sizzled through Yukine. "Don't do anything stupid."

The barest hint of a grin touched the god's face. "I'm always doing something stupid."

"Yato–"

"Really, it's fine." Yato sighed and flopped back over. "You should really get some sleep, kid. Look, here's an extra pillow. Go curl up at the end of the bed like a dog if you're not going to sleep in your own room. You can turn on the light if you want."

The pillow he tossed nearly hit Yukine in the face. Yukine hugged it to his chest and bit down on his lower lip.

_"This thing is huge. You could fit like eight people in here. And an elephant. It would be a crime to sleep on the floor with all this free space."_

Maybe things weren't completely ruined. Maybe not everything had changed. Maybe Yato had meant it when he said that he'd forgiven Yukine.

"I don't need the light," he croaked. "The moon's really bright."

Not even the darkness could eclipse the hope building in his chest as he crept around to the other side of the bed and rearranged the blankets into a nest in the far corner. Things weren't normal, weren't okay just yet, but it felt like Yato was _finally _starting to come back. That thought finally soothed Yukine to sleep. Maybe things really would get better.

Or so he thought, until he woke up in the morning and Yato was gone.


	16. Some mysteries must remain unsolved

**.**

**Chapter 16**

_(In which Yato loses his mind, Yukine accepts that some mysteries must remain unsolved, and everyone looks for a new kind of normal.)_

* * *

Yukine was not immediately alarmed to wake and find Yato missing. In fact, he was rather relieved, because it saved him the embarrassment of facing Yato immediately upon awakening while still curled up at the end of the god's bed like a child.

No, he only grew concerned when he asked Bishamon offhandedly where Yato was and she said she hadn't seen him since the night before. And his concern grew when no one else seemed to have seen him either.

"Maybe," he said doubtfully when Bishamon suggested there was probably nothing the matter and Yato was most likely prowling the mansion causing mischief. "But he kept saying that his dad was almost taken care of even though we haven't seen any sign of that, and I'm worried he's going to try something stupid. He already went after his dad on his own once."

Upon which Bishamon grew very quiet and then assembled an impromptu search party consisting of Kazuma, Kuraha, and the twins to help them search the mansion. They turned up nothing, and worry made Yukine sick to his stomach.

What if Yato had abandoned the safety of Takamagahara and ventured back to the lower realm? What if he was facing his dad alone again? What if he was already possessed again or held captive by the sorcerer or lying hurt somewhere? They had just gone to hell and back to save him, and it would be a terrible thing for him to throw it all away now. Especially since he had spent more time in hell than any of them.

Or maybe he had just gone to visit Hiyori, perhaps feeling more comfortable with her than with the rest of them after all the drama. Yukine was tempted to call her up and ask, but she was in school and had already missed too much and would come right away to help them look if she thought something was wrong. If Yato was with Hiyori, then she didn't need to be notified and probably would have warned the rest of them already. And if he wasn't, there wasn't a whole lot she could do about it and there was no point bothering her just yet.

Anyway, it probably wasn't as big a deal as they were making it out to be, and there was no reason to worry her when he'd probably turn up in a few minutes. If he was still missing by the time she got out of school and came to visit, then they would sound the alarm and start a manhunt.

Yukine prowled from room to room as if Yato would materialize if he just looked hard enough. And despite Bishamon's reassurances, her gaze darted about each room as she entered it too. Her concern made Yukine feel a little more justified for looking in closets and behind vases and under sofas.

But when Yato appeared, he didn't emerge from a shadowy corner or pop up out of nowhere. No, he waltzed right on in through the front door.

Yukine happened to be wandering past on his way to check the kitchen for the seventh time since that seemed a likely place to find a pilfering god—or at least it would have been before Yato had lost his spirit and appetite—so he saw the door open. Yato spotted Yukine right away and grinned.

"Oh, hey!" he said, waving vigorously as he closed the door behind him. "Look who's finally awake!"

Yukine gaped, caught off guard by the display. Yato was being so downright, ridiculously _normal_ that Yukine responded in turn before remembering that things were most certainly not the same anymore.

"Where have you been?" he demanded.

"Out!"

"Out _where_? We've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Yato?" Bishamon materialized beside Yukine like magic, drawn by his raised voice. Footsteps clattered down the hall. "Where have you been?"

"That's what I want to know," Yukine muttered.

"I've been _out_," Yato repeated with a toothy grin.

Bishamon recoiled and eyed him uneasily, like the sudden return of his good spirits might portend new troubles on the horizon.

"Did you leave Takamagahara?" Yukine burst out, sick of the games and roundabout answers. "You know you can't–"

"Aw, come on," Yato said. "It's no fun being cooped up forever. Anyway, I'm _suuuper _tired of being stuck here with the psycho bitch. How did you possibly stand living with her for so long? I'm thinking it's time we move back in with Kofuku."

Yukine stared at him as if he'd lost his mind, which was the most reasonable explanation for what was happening. "We can't just _move back in with Kofuku_! Your dad–"

"My dad," Yato interrupted, "will not be bothering us anymore."

"_What? _Did you meet up with him again? You can't just run off and–"

"I didn't say that," Yato said with a pout.

"It's too dangerous," Bishamon interjected, drawing a noise of agreement from Kazuma, who had appeared at her side. "You can't trust that the sorcerer won't turn around and attack again."

"The sorcerer," said Yato a little curtly, "is gone."

"_What?_" Yukine and Bishamon asked together.

Yato shrugged. "He seems to have fallen down a vent."

They all stared. Yato smiled back mildly, unfazed.

"A _vent_," Yukine repeated.

"A _vent_?" Bishamon asked.

"How would he even fall down a vent?" Kazuma wondered.

Yato shrugged again. "Guess his ayakashi finally got the better of him. He was always playing with fire, messing with those brushes. Nora's waiting for us down in the lower realm. She saw it, if you don't believe me."

"It's not that we don't believe you," Kazuma said tactfully, "just–"

"It sounds really crazy," Bishamon interrupted with far less regard for niceties like tact. "It doesn't make sense, and you'll have to excuse us if it's a little hard to swallow."

The story did sound awfully fantastical, impractical, insane. Yukine had a hard time believing Yato's dad could be gone just like that, but he didn't want to call Yato a liar either.

"Well, it's true," Yato said. "Dear old dad is busy chatting it up with our old friend Izanami and won't be bothering us anymore, so now is as good a time as any to clean things up and head back home."

"But what will that do to _you_?" asked Yukine.

"I don't know," Yato said brightly. "But honestly, this is probably the best outcome we could have hoped for. I'm sure Izanami will force-feed him some nasty underworld food the second she gets her bony fingers on him so he can't escape like we did, so he won't be leaving Yomi again to cause trouble. And he's not _dead_, so yay, I'm still here! I mean, Yomi really isn't any place for humans and I don't know how long one can survive there, but he's not really a normal human and has his ways to survive so I figure I've got some time."

This was almost worse than having the immediate threat looming over their heads, because now they had no idea what might happen and when the sword might fall. Trapping the sorcerer in Yomi had the combined benefits of thwarting his schemes and keeping Bishamon and the heavens from actually killing him, but what if he couldn't survive in the underworld and Yato disappeared after all? It wasn't like they could easily get him back out if something went wrong, and they wouldn't even know until it was too late.

And something was off about this whole thing. It was too quick and easy a solution, the timing was too convenient to be coincidental, and it had struck like a lightning bolt out of the blue. Added to the fact that Yato seemed unconcerned and not particularly surprised by this concerning and surprising turn of events, Yukine had the feeling that there was a lot more going on here than met the eye. Yato _had _said with some confidence that his dad was almost finished, and that seemed to be the case. He wasn't telling them everything, not by a long shot.

"Yato…"

"Relax, kid. I'm sure it'll be fine." Yato was grinning again, and his good cheer made Yukine uneasy. It was too out of character in light of his recent attitude. "So now we can go back to Kofuku's and hunt ayakashi and bug Hiyori some more. And you can have Bishamon release you now and stop freaking out about it." He paused, the smile fading a little. "I mean, if you want to. You can keep the name or stay here if you want."

"What?" Yukine's heart skipped a beat and his eyes went wide. "If your dad is gone, then I'll come back with you. You know that I…"

He trailed off, wondering if Yato knew any such thing anymore. He had been worried about Yato deciding to leave him after everything, but of course Yato would have his own concerns after Yukine gave himself to another god.

Yato searched his face and then smiled again. "Then let's get this show on the road! I'm ready to get out of here!"

In light of the morning's events, the un-naming was a bit tame and anti-climactic. Yukine had somehow expected something a little more…dramatic. Bishamon pulled them into a side room and released him without a fuss behind closed doors, and there was none of the wild panic and high emotions of the naming.

Yukine was relieved, to be sure, and a weight had lifted from his shoulders, but it wasn't as overpowering as he'd expected. The blank expanse of skin along the back of his hand still itched with a phantom name, and he could feel a hole somewhere inside him. Like he'd lost something. That disturbed him more than anything else, that something so unnatural and traitorous had become a part of him.

There was a troubled crease between Bishamon's brows despite her smile, and he wondered if she felt it too.

She offered to send shinki to help them pack their things, but they hadn't brought much with them in the first place and politely declined. She and Kazuma disappeared to let everyone know that their guests were moving back out and the threat of the sorcerer was apparently neutralized.

Yukine was content to let Bishamon and Kazuma handle that. He eyed Yato in concern as they headed off to their borrowed rooms to gather up stray clothing and whatever few possessions Kofuku and Daikoku had thought to bring for them, but the god chatted away cheerfully about totally irrelevant topics. It was disconcerting, and Yukine wanted to ask more questions but knew he wouldn't get satisfactory answers.

It didn't take long to stuff everything into the same bag Kofuku had brought it in. The room looked empty and unwelcoming now that all traces that he'd ever lived there had been obliterated. He was glad to be going back home, but he would miss this place just a little.

He didn't know what to do with himself and didn't feel welcome to stay in a room he'd just moved out of. He could go sit with Yato while he finished up, but the god was being particularly strange right now and Yukine still didn't know how to act around him.

Instead, he slung his bag over his shoulder and slipped out into the hallway, leaving the door ajar behind him like a message that he was gone. He wandered down the hall, his gaze running along every feature as if to imprint it in his memory. He had not had happy times here and had never really felt like he belonged, but it still felt strange to be leaving and there were so many _memories _trapped within these walls. He didn't think he would miss it, exactly, but it felt like he would be leaving a piece of himself behind.

As he wandered along, he came up on an open doorway and spotted Bishamon standing alone on the balcony jutting out from the window on the far side of the room. After hesitating for a moment, he stepped inside and walked over.

"Are you okay?" he asked, stepping up beside her and leaning his elbows on the railing.

She considered him with a sidelong look and smiled. "Of course. Things will become much simpler now, if Yato is to be believed."

"Yeah." He fiddled with the strap of his bag and frowned out over the lawn. "Thank you," he mumbled. "For helping me save Yato even when we didn't really agree on how to do it."

"Of course. But at least we can start putting that behind us. And now your master is safe and you're free to go home. It's all very exciting, isn't it?"

Her voice was cheerful enough, but somewhere a note fell flat. Yukine wondered if it was because she still wasn't sure what to make of Yato's sudden pronouncement or if she was troubled by something closer to what was currently on his own mind.

"Yes, I'm glad things will be…normal again." Yukine shifted on his heels, debating the wisdom of voicing his thoughts, but Hiyori wasn't here and it wasn't like he could talk to Yato about it. "I'm glad I'm not a nora anymore, but it feels like I'm missing something now, like… I don't know. I feel like I'm still betraying Yato by feeling like I lost something."

Bishamon's face softened. "You aren't betraying him by feeling like that, Yukine. We shared a bond, even if only for a little while, and I think it's only natural to be affected when it's suddenly gone. I'm sure it will fade." She looked back out across the lawn. "We gods always feel the loss of a shinki, even if it's only from releasing them. There will always be a little hole where you were. Maybe you have one too. And I think that's okay."

Yukine chewed on his lip. "Do you think so?"

"Yes. But if it's bothering you, why don't you talk to Yato? He always wants you to talk to him about things, doesn't he?"

"Yeah, but now he's…different."

Bishamon sighed. "I think we're all a little different."

Yukine didn't know what to say to that, because he thought it was probably true. None of them were the same as they'd been only a few weeks ago.

"There you are!" Yato said loudly.

Yukine started in surprise, and he and Bishamon whipped around. Yato waved from the doorway. A bag dangled from his elbow, and he bounced on his heels in a show of cheerful impatience.

Yukine froze. Even if Yato hadn't heard anything, walking in while they were talking about him made Yukine feel like he'd been caught doing something wrong. He hoped Yato hadn't been standing there for long.

Bishamon recovered first. "Are you ready?"

"Yup!" Yato said. "Let's go, Yukine. I'm sure the psycho bitch is ready to get us out of her hair."

Bishamon murmured her agreement and ushered Yukine back across the room. Yato immediately inserted himself between the other god and the shinki, and for a second Yukine thought it was a very deliberate move. But Yato was still at least feigning cheerfulness and Yukine reasoned that he tended to be a lot more dramatic with his jealousy, so maybe he'd imagined it.

"And you're _sure _the sorcerer is gone for good?" Bishamon asked as she tailed them back down the hall. "Do you think–?"

"Trust me, he's not coming back from that," Yato said.

"But you already told the heavens enough that they want to kill him, and if they don't believe–"

"I'll talk to Amaterasu."

"But what if–?"

"I think I can convince her that my father is gone. I did tell her I'd hunt him down, so it won't be too unexpected."

"I don't know, it's a pretty crazy story. And if she finds out about the possession…"

"Well, I didn't say I'd tell her the _whole _story. In fact, I think I'll strongly imply that Father is dead. It's not like I told her he was my lifeline, so she won't see an inconsistency."

"Still…"

Yukine was grateful for her concern, especially since he shared it, but Yato waved it off.

Kazuma, Kuraha, Aiha, and the twins met them in the entranceway, a gauntlet of good-byes before they could reach the door. Yukine responded in turn, aware that he'd been less than friendly for most of his stay and eager to leave a better impression than he'd brought in.

"Come visit again sometime," Kuraha said with a smile.

"Yeah." Yukine scuffed his shoe on the floor. "And thanks. You ended up being right…about a lot of things."

Kuraha chuckled. "To be fair, I have a lot more life experience than you."

Yukine nodded, but was distracted by Yato and Kazuma talking quietly with their heads close together. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, but found that he was less worried about Kazuma turning on Yato again than a little bit jealous remembering when Yato had chosen Kazuma to help him. And he _did _understand, but it still itched at him and he wondered if this was what Yato felt when watching him with Bishamon.

Kazuma nodded and stepped back, then offered Yukine a restrained, uncertain smile. Yukine nodded back. He wasn't sure he was ready to just forget everything and make nice again, but he was tired of feuding and owed Kazuma and the others too much to feel good about holding on to grudges. Perhaps they would work things out. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday.

Yato chattered nonstop as they descended to the lower realm, undoubtedly to keep Yukine from getting a question in edgewise. Nora was waiting outside, her face drawn in tight lines. Her gaze passed over Yukine like he wasn't there and settled on Yato. There was something wary and disbelieving and guarded in her eyes, like she was half-expecting the god to lose his mind and turn on them at any second. Like she didn't quite know him anymore.

"Nora?" Yukine asked. He tried to catch her eye, but she resolutely avoided his gaze.

"I did say she was waiting," Yato said. "We'll have to figure out what to do with her now that Father is gone… But she's going to visit Amaterasu with me and back up my story if there's any trouble."

"She's going to–?" Yukine shook his head fitfully. "I can–"

"But you didn't see anything. No, she'll come with me." Yato raked a considering gaze over Nora, and she looked away. Then he brightened back up. "Why don't you bring our things back to Kofuku's? She and Daikoku are out trailing Hiyori…although they're stuck waiting outside the school now. Kofuku was causing mischief and something blew up and Hiyori whisper-yelled a lot and kicked her out."

"You were spying on Hiyori too?" Yukine asked in disbelief. Not that that was entirely unexpected, but did he have to do it while everyone was worried and searching for him?

Yato flapped a hand dismissively. "Don't worry, I just checked in. No one even saw me. We'll meet them at the end of the day, but we've still got hours before then. Should be enough time to smooth things over with the heavens, if they don't throw too big a tantrum. But I want to check something first. I'll meet you over at Kofuku's in a few minutes. Behave!"

He tossed his bag to Yukine—how was it so heavy when the guy practically lived in one pair of clothes?—and took off down the street before anyone could protest.

"Hey…" Yukine sighed, then chewed his lip and eyed Nora. "Well…"

"Let's just go," she said tonelessly.

She took off at a brisk pace, and Yukine had to trot to keep up with her. Why was everyone in such a hurry today?

"So what really happened?" he asked as they weaved through the crowds wandering along the street.

He couldn't help but look around with a wide-eyed sense of wonder, despite everything. It felt like it had been forever since he'd been back home. He even welcomed the biting chill of the wind in contrast to the perfect, placid warmth of Takamagahara…although his appreciation didn't last for long before he remembered exactly how much he hated the cold. It felt good to breathe in the fresh air and see the outside world instead of being stuck inside the same house with the same people with the same fears day in and day out.

"Father is trapped in Yomi," Nora said without looking over. "I don't think he'll be escaping this time."

"Yato did that?"

She gave him a withering look. "Who else?" She shook her head and her gaze drifted away again. "After all this time, I can't believe he just… Well, the tables have turned."

"But what did he _do_, exactly?"

"If you want to know so badly, ask him yourself," she said sharply.

"But–"

"He's your god, isn't he?"

Yukine closed his mouth. They walked the rest of the way to Kofuku's shrine in silence.

Nora hesitated outside, but Yukine waved her in. The little house was empty, the shop all closed up. Yukine had no doubt that Kofuku and Daikoku were exactly where Yato said they were, but he wished they were here for his homecoming. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen them often enough when they visited Bishamon's mansion, but it felt different now that he was back home.

The attic was just as they'd left it, aside from a few missing belongings that were tucked away in the bags he carried. He tossed Yato's in the corner and began unpacking his own things. He was almost surprised that he still remembered where everything went. There was a comforting familiarity to putting things back the way they'd been, which was a sort of homecoming of its own.

Nora lingered in the doorway and watched. He could feel her gaze between his shoulder blades.

"Thank you," he mumbled as he folded his clothing into neat piles. She made a noncommittal sound in the back of her throat. "Why _did _you help us?"

He abandoned the clothes he'd been stacking on his futon and twisted around to search her face. Unfortunately, her expression was as difficult to read as always. She didn't respond for so long that he thought she would ignore the question, but then she shrugged.

"I don't know," she said.

Yukine sighed at the non-answer. He was still wary of her and didn't particularly like her overmuch, but he felt that he owed her something and, anyway, it was terribly awkward to be stared at silently.

"Well, it should be better now," he said, as if he hadn't been having doubts of his own all morning. "Yato's safe and we don't have to stay trapped in Takamagahara anymore and you're free of your dad too."

Nora's mouth slanted scornfully, but the underlying note hidden in her voice was more lost than contemptuous. "Oh, _you _might be free. But Yato is still bound to Father, and goodness knows what will happen to them with the underworld in play. And it's not as if I have anywhere to go now that Father is gone. I don't have a place anywhere else."

Yukine had all the same concerns about Yato, but he hadn't considered Nora's situation. It seemed sad to have so many names and yet be so unwanted, even if she brought it on herself. He didn't like her, but she had helped them and he couldn't help but pity her.

"Maybe–"

"There you are!" Yato said. He slid the window back and clambered inside, even though Daikoku wasn't home to press him into chores if he was caught coming in. "I hope you've been getting along! Come on, Nora. We're going to see Amaterasu. Yukine, hold down the fort while we're gone."

He strolled across the room, cool gaze slanting in Nora's direction. She nodded once and dropped her gaze to the ground and said nothing.

Yukine took a step after him. "But–"

"I'll be back soon," Yato said. "But we need to get this taken care of right away. And I think Nora and I need to talk."

Nora actually winced. Yato swept past her out the doorway, dragging her along behind him with the sheer force of his presence.

Yukine's feet dragged to a stop as he watched them go. "But…"

"Anyway, I don't really want Amaterasu near you after that whole box thing," Yato added offhandedly. "I'm sure you can entertain yourself in the meantime."

He and Nora disappeared down the stairs.

"But I don't really want her near you either," Yukine mumbled to the empty air.

He stood there for a long time, worrying about anything and everything and wishing Yato hadn't gone. Then he took a deep breath and finished putting away his things.

He wandered downstairs and looked around. His work apron was right where he'd left it. He fingered the fabric, thick and stiff and familiar. Pulling it on, he found the broom in the closet where it had always been and began sweeping the shop floor. He had been neglecting his duties as of late, and it was time to start catching up.

He busied himself with chore after chore, organizing and tidying and scrubbing everything spotless. As long as he stayed busy enough, he could distract himself from the waiting game.

So by the time Yato finally came strolling back through the door, the shop and shrine had been tidied to near-perfection and Yukine's anxiety was beginning to mount again. Even distraction could only do so much.

"What happened?" he demanded as the god came in whistling like he didn't have a care in the world. "Is everything okay?"

"Sure is!" Yato said brightly. "I mean, they questioned us foreeever, but it seems like they finally accepted the story. Might get called back once or twice to confirm, but so far so good."

Yukine let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and looked around. "Where's Nora?"

"I left her at one of Father's old safe houses nearby. If what you've said is true, we owe her a lot. And anyway, I used to be one of her masters. Now that Father is gone and none of her masters really want her and she doesn't have many prospects for finding one who will, it's not like she has anywhere else to go. I'll make sure she's provided for and safe—she'll do better under a god's wing when Father's enemies come knocking—until I figure out what to do with her, but that doesn't mean I want her _here_.

"Anyway, she'll be fine. Let's go meet Hiyori at school. It's just about time for class to let out."

Yato was bouncing back out the door before Yukine had the chance to say anything else, and the shinki pulled off his apron and trotted after him. Yato seemed inclined to chatter mindlessly some more, but not even that could staunch Yukine's torrent of questions.

"But what happened with Amaterasu? Do you think the heavens will leave you alone? What do you think will end up happening to Nora? Can your dad really survive in Yomi? Will you be okay? What really happened with your dad? What did you do to him? Why–?"

"Slow down, slow down," Yato wrinkled his nose like he found the questions distasteful. "I already told you, things are fine."

Whether or not Yukine believed it was another question.

"Just…" He frowned down at the ground and scuffed his shoes against the pavement. "There's a lot you aren't telling me, and I get that I… But…"

He understood that he'd proven himself untrustworthy and couldn't expect Yato to treat him the same as before, but he _wanted _things to be the way they were. He still wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to be trusted to do his job and protect his god. Yato wasn't always very open at the best of times, and Yukine could only imagine how much worse it could get now.

Yato sighed and turned the corner, slipping past a gaggle of unsuspecting humans. "There are some things it's safer for you not to know. Things it's better the heavens don't know about. The whole possession thing is already bad enough, and there's no reason to put more people in the line of fire if the heavens start figuring things out."

That was anything but reassuring. "Still…"

"Maybe later," Yato said. He didn't meet Yukine's gaze, either because he was still upset and mistrustful or because there were secrets swimming in his eyes. Quite probably both. "Once things have calmed down and we know where we stand."

Yukine knew better than to keep pressing for information Yato clearly wasn't ready to share, but that didn't mean he was happy about it.

"I just wish…" He trailed off, not sure how to put his nebulous desires into words or even if he should. He wished a lot of things, and they were too big to fit into his mouth.

"Wish?" Yato perked up, eyes sparkling. He stopped in his tracks, heedless of the pedestrians swirling around him, and bounced on his heels in anticipation. "Ooh, you're in luck! I'm in the business of wishes. Whaddya want?"

Yukine's feet dragged to a stop as well, and Yato's smile was so blindingly sunny that it _hurt_. "I don't know," he mumbled, sensing dangerous ground and backtracking. "Just… You're smiling and laughing and acting normal again, but your eyes aren't happy."

Yato's smile faltered, and Yukine saw that he was right. Yato looked down at the ground, his mouth pinching into a frown.

"Yeah," he said finally, sounding more tired and careworn than ever. "Well. Things will get better. We'll get better. Come on, kid. Let's surprise Hiyori."

He draped an arm across Yukine's shoulders, a gesture that had always been a little annoying and invasive of personal space but now made tears gather in the corners of Yukine's eyes, and steered the shinki back down the street. Neither of them said anything else as they walked the last couple streets to Hiyori's school. Yukine could feel all the unsaid words gathering behind his teeth, balancing on the tip of his tongue, but this wasn't the time. They both had a lot to say to each other, but they were words best saved for a rainy day. Yukine hoped they would all be said sooner or later, instead of languishing unspoken.

Classes were already letting out by the time they arrived, so they hung back and watched the sea of students pouring out of the building.

"Ha!" Yato said, pointing. "There are Kofuku and Daikoku."

The other god and shinki pair was lurking off on the other side of the street, heads swiveling as they searched for Hiyori. It was the easiest thing in the world to wade through the crowd and sneak up behind them.

"Didn't take you long to get exiled, huh?" Yato said.

Yukine hung back as Kofuku and Daikoku started in surprise and hit Yato with a barrage of questions. He scanned the crowd until he caught sight of Hiyori walking with her friends and chatting animatedly. He waved.

She didn't spot him at first, but then her eyes went wide and she mumbled her excuses.

"What are you doing?" she demanded as she hurried over. "I thought you were supposed to stay in Takamagahara!"

"But I miiissed you!" Yato whined. "Anyway, we're moving back home now. Isn't that exciting?"

Yukine let Yato handle the explanations and non-explanations and cheery deflections. When Hiyori caught his eye, he shrugged at the unspoken question. He didn't know much more than she did.

Yato didn't give them any more explanation than he'd given Bishamon this morning and his false cheer was just as scalding as before, but it seemed to lull everyone into a slightly uneasy sense of relief. Some things were obviously still up in the air, but Yato seemed certain that the threat of his dad had been neutralized. Things could only get better now that he and Yukine were back from their exile. Maybe, Yukine could almost hear them thinking, things could start going back to normal.

Once they were convinced that Yato was telling the truth and not making up silly stories as he was often wont to do, it was smiles and celebrations all around. Kofuku was bubbly and bursting with excitement at the prospect of her houseguests moving back in, which made Yukine smile despite everything. She'd been unnaturally gloomy and quiet, and it was nice to see her cheering back up again. Even Daikoku smiled a little as he complained about having Yato return as a non-paying tenant and expressed relief at having his shop help back. He set about making a celebratory dinner as soon as they made it back to the shrine, while Kofuku danced about and chattered a mile a minute.

Hiyori was smiling too, but quieter. She rummaged around in her bag and waited until Kofuku paused to take a breath.

"I have something for you," she told Yato.

"Ooh, a gift! I love presents!"

She laughed softly, but her smile was tinged with melancholy. "Here." She pulled the little shrine out of her bag, now sporting a few cracks that she'd done her best to camouflage, and held it out. "I fixed it for you. I held on to it the whole time, but now that you're back…"

"Oh…" Yato said quietly. A shadow Yukine couldn't quite read passed over his face. "Thanks."

He reached out, but Hiyori kept a white-knuckled grip on the shrine.

"But don't you dare put your life in my hands and run off on a suicide mission alone again," she said, her voice wavering but hard as steel. "Don't you _dare_."

Yato was quiet for a moment before nodding. "Okay. I won't."

And that was about the best they'd get out of him, so Hiyori let go. Yato disappeared upstairs, presumably to put the shrine back in their room, and came back bubbling with good cheer once more, joking and cackling with laughter. Yukine and Hiyori exchanged a look but shrugged. Yato would be Yato.

He stayed cheerful through dinner and the evening, even after Hiyori reluctantly headed home. He was bursting with as much frenetic energy as Kofuku, talking faster than thought and constantly moving and practically bouncing off the walls. It exhausted Yukine just watching him.

Getting him to settle down enough to go to bed was a pain. But even after Yato had settled in a softly snoring heap on his futon, Yukine was left staring up at the darkened ceiling. Too much had happened, and his mind was racing to sort everything out. It was an impossible task, and eventually the sheer enormity of it overwhelmed him and his tired brain shut off.

He woke sometime later, groggy and confused. It was still dark outside the glow of his lamp. Still night. He didn't know what had woken him. Some small sound, maybe, or a stray restless thought tapping at his brain.

He yawned and glanced around. The covers of Yato's futon were thrown back, and the god was conspicuously absent. Yukine's heart thumped loudly in his ears as he sat up and looked around more frantically.

A shuddering breath escaped his lips as he spotted Yato wedged in the window, sitting in his favorite spot on the sill with his legs drawn up to his chin and his gaze wandering among the stars. A chilly breeze curled through the air, and Yukine wondered if maybe it was the cold that had woken him. Either that or Yato had been having nightmares again and made some sound.

"Are you okay?" Yukine croaked in a sleep-roughened voice.

Yato slanted his gaze in the shinki's direction. He wasn't smiling now, and the gritty brightness was gone from his eyes to leave them flat and shuttered once more.

"Yes," he said.

Yukine hesitated and then wriggled out of bed, wincing as the cool air hit his skin. "Yato…"

"I don't want to talk about it right now," Yato said tiredly, closing his eyes.

Yukine swallowed hard and shuffled over. "Well, you should probably get some sleep, then," he said with a thin attempt at brightness. "We're behind on our ayakashi hunting and we have to get your name out there to make sure you've got believers besides your dad, so we'll be busy starting tomorrow. It's a lot of work to become a god of fortune."

Yato said nothing, gaze wandering back out to search the night, and Yukine cursed himself for misjudging the situation. He'd thought that maybe it was better to keep things light since Yato had been dredging up good cheer earlier and didn't want to talk about the problems plaguing him, but he obviously wasn't in the mood for forced optimism now. Stupid, stupid.

"Maybe we should set our goals a little lower," Yato said finally, voice low.

Yukine frowned and opened his mouth to ask what he meant, but the words froze in his throat as words from only a couple days ago sprang to mind.

_"I was supposed to be a god of fortune. You were supposed to guide me. You promised. How can I trust a guidepost that pointed me back to becoming a monster?"_

Kazuma's observations about Yato's hopelessness swam back to the forefront of Yukine's mind, the way Yato hadn't just bounced back like usual, the way he seemed to have given up.

"You aren't a monster," Yukine said. His lips trembled and he blinked back tears. "Your dad's gone, and you can be whoever you want to be. Don't give up on that because of him. You're going to be the _best _god of fortune."

Yato's eyes glittered in the lamplight as he eyed the shinki doubtfully. "You think so?"

"I know so. And I… I make mistakes too, but I'd still help guide you…if you'd still have me."

Yato watched him for a few more seconds and then a smile—small but _real_—touched his lips as he came to a decision. "Well, obviously. What would I do without my kid to keep me in line?"

The tears spilled free, and Yukine scrubbed at his face as he snuffled pathetically. He'd been so afraid of never hearing that again, never being called Yato's kid or asked to serve as a guide or trusted at face value.

Yato slid to the floor and wrapped him in a tight hug. "We'll figure it out," he said. "Sooner or later, we'll figure it out."

And it was enough to make Yukine hope. There were still cracks in the foundations, still trust that needed to be rebuilt and scars that needed to be healed and nightmares that needed to be soothed, but Yato was hugging him like they were going to be okay. Yukine clutched him tight and sobbed into his chest. They were still together, despite everything.

He vowed that somehow they would work through this and rise like a phoenix from the ashes. He swore that he would make Yato the best of all gods of fortune and make him smile again. He promised that they would be okay.

Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday.

* * *

**Note: Poor things. I've written too many long-winded and complicated redemption fics to take on another at the moment, so let's leave it on a cautiously hopeful note. Obviously there's still some mistrust and hurt feelings that will take a while to work through, but they'll figure it out together sooner or later. Although could you imagine trying to fix such a big rift with someone like Yato? Like, he doesn't really deal with that stuff head-on and tends to cover it up with his craziness and start hiding things and getting all secretive again, so I'd imagine it would be difficult to pin him down on working out a serious problem. There's definitely a lot he's not going to be sharing with Yukine and co for a long while yet. Ah, well. Communication issues are basically every subplot in canon. **

**There's one more installment of this verse, although it might not be exactly what you expect :)**


	17. Epilogue

.

**Epilogue**

* * *

Yato stayed awake long after Yukine's breathing evened out. He regarded the lump of blankets heaped at the end of his bed—or Bishamon's bed, whatever—and reassured himself that the shinki was asleep.

Then he slipped out of bed, crept outside the room, and, closing the door softly behind him, pulled out his phone and called Father.

Ten minutes later, he found himself waiting in the park, a sliver of moon glinting high above in the night sky. He poked at the grass with his toe and looked around like the lawn might hold all the answers he'd been searching for. He could still feel the reverberations of the struggle that had taken place here. He could almost feel the panic when he found himself face to face with Yukine while Father gloated at his side, the confusion and shock when Bishamon summoned his hafuri, the hopelessness of the fight that came after. The memories were hazy and half-formed, but he could recall bits and pieces. Mostly his own futile struggle to regain control of his body before sinking back into oblivion.

It was a dangerous path to tread, starting down the line of broken memories. Focusing on them made him feel like he was losing himself again, becoming more and more like a mindless ayakashi puppet once more. He didn't want to taste the iron on his tongue or smell the blood clogging his nostrils or see the rusty red crescents beneath his fingernails or watch his body jerk about without his consent.

And he wasn't sure he wanted to traipse down memory lane here, especially. He was tired of turning things over and over in his mind, trying to figure out how things fit together and what to make of Yukine's actions. It was all too complicated and messy and muddled shades of gray, and he hated thinking about his kid like that.

Yukine had only done what he'd thought he had to, only ever tried to protect Yato, and that loyalty could back him into a corner and force him to take extreme measures when things fell apart. That was one of the reasons he wasn't here now, because Yato was afraid he'd still be erratic and unpredictable when Father was involved. And, as painful as it was, Yato no longer trusted him to do the right thing when push came to shove, even if his intentions were good. But he was also still a child who needed to be protected from monsters under the bed, and some things were meant to be done in the hush of night without prying eyes.

Anyway, Yukine was enough of a mess without having to deal with Father again. His guilt and worry and grief were a constant ache nestled in Yato's chest. He wouldn't be able to heal until the shadow Father cast over them was gone.

And so Yato would fix it, because Yukine was still his kid regardless of whether or not Bishamon had claimed him too.

"Ah, there you are, Yaboku. Awfully late to be calling me, isn't it?"

Yato closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. He tamped down the fear tingling up and down his spine. The stakes were too high to get distracted so easily.

He turned around, steeling himself. Father strode across the moon-dappled lawn without a care in the world, mouth curved into a sly smirk and eyes glittering victoriously. Nora glided behind him like a shadow, looking more like a ghost than ever with her pale face gleaming white in the moonlight and dark eyes shining black. Yato assessed the situation quickly—Nora's expressionless ambivalence and Father's barely contained triumph and the empty air around them where ayakashi could have lurked.

"Easier to get things done when everyone's asleep," he murmured.

"Fair enough." Father raised an eyebrow and made a show of looking around. "No Yukine?"

"Not tonight."

"Aw, pity. But probably just as well. He ended up being quite troublesome. Poor Yaboku. Even I was surprised that he turned on you so fast. Don't worry, we can find another shinki for you to use. You don't need him."

Yato hummed in a way that might have been mistaken for agreement. Father didn't seem to understand that a shinki wasn't just a tool you could discard when something went wrong, like throwing out a broken dish or holey shoe. Things might be hard and uncomfortable, Yato might not be happy with the choices his hafuri had made, but Yukine was still his kid. You didn't throw out family when you hit a rough patch. You worked things out and patched things up and kept on going, because you loved them anyway.

Father raised an eyebrow but let it go. "I take it you haven't gotten rid of Bishamon and her erratic hafuri yet? You called me awfully early."

Yato watched Nora as she drifted forward a pace to stand beside Father. If Yukine was to be believed, she'd proven to be a lukewarm half-ally at times. Yato would not rely on her help because he knew that Father was her ultimate authority, but it might change how he dealt with her in the aftermath.

"I was never going to need that long," he said.

"Oh? Just trying to keep me guessing?"

"Buying time."

Father's eyes narrowed. "For what?"

Yato shrugged. He had needed to buy Hiyori her safety until Father was gone. And he had needed to buy himself time to do what needed to be done. He might not have planned to put it off for more than a day or two, but this way Bishamon and the kids weren't expecting him to move just yet or watching him as closely to make sure he didn't do something 'stupid'. He would prefer to go about his business undisturbed.

"I'm not going to kill Bishamon," he admitted, finally satisfied that the threat—or at least most of it—was past. The sick feeling clenching his stomach subsided just a little, and he let out his breath.

"Oh really?" Father's eyes narrowed. His hand dropped to the pocket of his coat. "I was hoping you'd learned your lesson and would be a little more cooperative now, but if–" He broke off, eyes widening. "What…?"

He frowned down and rummaged through his pocket. Yato regarded him a moment longer before cutting a flat look in Nora's direction. Her eyes were wide and her lips parted in a small 'o', but the words didn't escape her mouth. She had taken a step forward but then stopped again, hesitating. She stared at a point just behind Yato, mostly concealed behind his body.

"Looking for this?" Yato asked, feeling rather detached from the whole drama. He reached out, and the ayakashi hovering behind him dropped the brush into his hand.

Father's head snapped up, and the shocked expression on his face would have been immensely satisfying if Yato had been able to feel much of anything as of late.

"How did you–?"

"I guess you shouldn't have let me borrow it." Yato twirled the brush between his fingers idly. "One of the ayakashi survived. You didn't really think I'd meet with you if I didn't have a way to prevent you from possessing me again, did you?"

Not that it wasn't still a risk until the brush was safely out of Father's hands, but sometimes you had to take risks.

Father had never looked more rattled, although he'd come close when Bishamon had summoned Yukine right under his nose. "When did you–?"

"You should pay more attention. You always get cocky when you think you've won." Yato narrowed his eyes to slits and regarded him coolly. "I've tolerated just about everything you've ever asked of me, but you went too far this time. I will not be your puppet any longer. How _dare _you?"

Father pressed his mouth into a thin line. "Yaboku–"

But Yato had had more than enough. He didn't want to listen to threats or pleas or reasoning. He was just so _done _with _everything_.

"Yumi."

The ayakashi knew exactly what he wanted, either because he was its master or because he still had more than a little ayakashi in him himself. He could still feel a sticky film coating his insides, all dark and rot. He could still feel the attraction to gloom like blood in the water and an underlying edge of mindless fury like a storm waiting to be unleashed. And he could still feel his ayakashi servant like an extra limb, nearly as battered and bloody from the fight as he but still just as dangerous.

It had an uncomfortable oily grip on his mind, tasted like ash and iron and helpless defeat, but it would prove useful for as long as he had it. No point discarding a tool just because it was uncomfortable to use.

He stepped back and watched impassively as the ayakashi lunged forward in a glowing green blur. Father gave a pleasing yelp as it latched on tight and then took a nosedive into the ground.

"Goodbye, Father," Yato said. "Say hi to Izanami for me."

Father tried to say something else, but his words were lost in the chaos as the ayakashi bored through the ground with as little effort as Kofuku and Kokki. Normally ayakashi were more inclined to bore up from Yomi and wreak havoc on the world above, but this one would follow orders. Ebisu's ayakashi had bored a vent before, so he knew it was possible. And it was far easier to descend into Yomi than to escape it again. Perhaps it would also sense Izanami, the mother of ayakashi. It would bring Father back to its erstwhile mistress.

It only took a second. Yato blinked and Father was gone, along with the ayakashi. There was just a small hole in the ground where they had been, and then that exploded into a vortex of newly freed ayakashi making their escape from the underworld. Yato frowned, but vents opened up every day. This was a small one, and a handful of ayakashi would do far less harm than Father and his pets. He wondered if Bishamon would be up and about to do damage control tomorrow.

Or maybe he would, but he still felt a touch away from breaking and his entire body ached all over and the shadow preying on his mind made it difficult to focus on anything else.

"I guess that was sort of a cheap trick," he murmured, eyeing the raging vent. "But he brought it on himself."

It had happened so fast that Father hadn't had the chance to try stopping it, and Yato had sealed off his exit in advance by stealing the brush. In theory, he might be able to make it back up the vent like Ebisu had. In practice, he was more likely to be torn apart by ayakashi and Izanami would lay claim to him immediately after watching Yato slip through her grasp last time. She wouldn't make the same mistake twice. Neither would Yato, which made it even more ridiculous that Father had actually expected him to come out here and let himself be possessed again.

"What have you done?" Nora breathed.

Yato threw a glance her way, too hollowed out and exhausted to feel much more than the mildest curiosity. "You could have stopped me. You saw what was happening. You could have warned him. You didn't."

She opened her mouth, let it hang there. Her stricken expression deepened as she tore her gaze away from the vent to meet his eyes. "I…"

"Yukine says you were giving him advice. Still, you didn't move against him. But you could have saved him here, or at least tried. Strange." He dropped his gaze back to the hole in the ground. "This is the first time you've chosen me over him."

She made a strangled sort of noise and then fell quiet for a moment before saying, "You weren't you anymore."

"I'm sure some would say that's not such a bad thing."

They watched the vent in silence for a few more seconds.

"Maybe we could–"

"No. It's too late. He's gone. And I'm not going to let you go off on a suicide mission trying to save him."

"He's still your lifeline, Yato."

"Well, he's not dead. Not yet. At least this way we have a chance."

He didn't know if Father would survive Yomi, being human and at Izanami's mercy. He didn't know how long it was reasonable to expect he might. That uncertainty concerned him, made his life seem more fragile than ever before, but he'd take his chances. The other option was that he or Bishamon or the heavens killed Father, and not even that old bastard would be able to hold out much longer with practically the entire pantheon of gods hunting him. Izanami would keep Father on a short leash, and he'd have no sneaky escape once she force-fed him the food of Yomi.

It was hardly the perfect solution, but it was the best he had.

"But…"

Yato slanted a glance in Nora's direction, sensing her turmoil. No matter how bad things got or how much Father hurt her, she would always have a love-hate loyalty to him. Yato understood. He was much the same. This night would haunt him for just as long as it haunted her, as would the choices they'd made.

"I'll need you to corroborate the story I'm going to tell the heavens about the sorcerer being contained. Not that they'd dare follow him into Yomi to finish the job, but it would make our lives a lot easier if they believed a…modified version of events. And then we'll figure out what to do. It's going to be very different from now on."

Nora said nothing. Together, they watched the whirl of chaotic energy slow to a trickle as the vent began to close.

Yato rubbed the bristles of the brush between his fingertips. He wondered if he should toss it down the vent. It would only bring trouble, especially if the heavens discovered that he had possession of it, and it shouldn't do Father much good down in Yomi even if he found it again. It would be a quick and easy solution for getting rid of the brush that had caused so much damage and still posed a very real threat if the wrong person got their hands on it. And Yato didn't have any particular use for it…at least not right now. It would be fitting to get rid of the sorcerer's tools along with the sorcerer.

The vent slowly sealed up, leaving only a scar in the ground. Normal vents didn't close that fast, not even a small one bored by a single wounded ayakashi. Izanami had undoubtedly discovered her visitor. There was nothing to be done now, even if he had second thoughts.

"Well," Yato said. Light was trickling over the horizon now, brightening the night into dawn. Soon, Yukine and the others would be waking. "I guess we should come up with a cover story for what happened here before we run off to tell the heavens. I'm sure you understand that it's easier if they don't know the particulars."

Nora made a sound in the back of her throat that might have been agreement. She still looked more than a little shell-shocked.

Yato would figure out what to do with her later. Right now, it was more important to spin the heavens a tale that they'd believe—one that didn't involve his possession or involvement with the brush. Those were liabilities and abilities that no god was supposed to have. And if the heavens started asking questions, all sorts of nasty things about himself and Yukine and Nora and Bishamon and even Hiyori could come out. It was better that their choices during this crazy ordeal didn't come under close scrutiny.

He would figure out how to placate the heavens and how to deal with Nora, and then he could work things out with Yukine and untangle his snarled knot of love and hate and fear and hurt where Father was concerned and come to terms with what he had done and become. He had promised Yukine that things would get better, and they would. He had made sure that the kid could let Bishamon release him without worry, made sure he could go back home again. It would be okay.

But it wouldn't be the same. He knew better than that. He couldn't entirely trust Yukine right now, and if he couldn't trust his guidepost, then who _could _he trust? For now, he would be doing things more or less on his own. He still had weeks of blood-drenched memories to sort through and piece together, and he still didn't feel like himself. Still felt too out of control and detached from the person he'd been. Maybe eventually, he'd believe that he could control himself and his own fate again.

But for now, he had learned a sobering lesson in trying to be something he wasn't and believing he could escape himself and his past. Maybe he wasn't quite a proper god of calamity anymore, at least when he had control of his own body, but he wasn't cut out to be a god of fortune either. He'd only been fooling himself with all those big dreams. But maybe he could be something in between, something different. He just needed to figure out what that might be.

"Let's go," he said, more to himself than to Nora.

He twirled the brush between his fingers one last time and shoved it into his pocket before turning away from the closed vent.

There was a new sorcerer in town.

* * *

**Note: I don't even have an explanation except that the last line/idea popped into my head right near the beginning of writing the story and it was too good to pass up so I had to write an epilogue. Just a teaser—I'm not planning to go into any more depth on that idea, but it opened up a host of interesting possibilities. Let's just hope Yukine starts winning back some trust before Yato does something particularly stupid lol I'm sure it'll be better when Yato doesn't feel like he needs a backup option in case things don't work out.**

**But aaanywaaay, that's a wrap lol I'm sure they'll be okay in the end :)**


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